Looking to the Skies
by opens up 4 nobody
Summary: Zoro was a normal guy, he didn't really know how he ended up attracting such strange people to him. Seriously, he was like a weirdness magnet and Sanji might just have been the oddest addition Zoro's group of "friends". Something about that idiot was just a little... off.
1. Impossible Boy

The teller told an unusual tale  
With spider words and webs  
To capture all the ears they fell upon  
The story of an impossible boy  
Who never even knew that he  
He was real

-"Impossible Boy" The Hoosiers

XxxX

The dark gray sky rained down horrible slush as Zoro made his way down the sidewalk toward his favorite bar. He didn't have an umbrella or even know if it was socially acceptable to use an umbrella when it was sleeting out. No one ever seemed to use them when it snowed so it didn't seem likely. Thus he walked quickly toward his escape from the elements.

This sort of weather always made him feel unhappy, nothing good could ever happen on a day like this. It's appearance was foreboding, not comforting. It seemed that everyone else had the good sense to stay home rather than brave this shit. Why did January have to be so fucking shitty? Oh yeah, Earth's tilt and shit. Fucking science making the norther hemisphere experience winter.

He wished that it would just start snowing because sleet was twice as annoying and it would turn to ice when the temperature dropped. The roads were already nigh undrivable, if the temperature dropped even a little it would become a slick nightmare of metal twisting death.

He was relieved when he saw the neon lights ahead of him, they read Thousand Sunny in blocky lettering. As he pushed open the heavy door he was met by a soothingly warm burst of air along with the a slew of interesting smells that came with entering a bar. There were not many people in today but that was part of the reason Zoro liked this place, not many people would bother him here, at least not at this hour as it was still fairly early on a weekday. Another part was that he was friends with the owner and she would be pissed if he went to drink at another place, filling someone else's pockets.

The few people who were there were either too absorbed in the musician playing, or too busy with themselves to notice Zoro sit down at a bar stool. The guy playing was actually pretty good, too good to play in a dinky place like this but he was there fairly often. He was a good guy too, his name was Brook, he and Zoro were in the same circle of friends, although Brook had to run around a lot for gigs.

Zoro turned from the musician toward the bar to order his usual when he noticed that the guy who usually worked there had been replaced by someone else. Zoro wasn't particularly upset by this fact, it's not like he and the bartender had a special relationship of any kind but it was a deviation from routine.

This new guy was thin, pale, and blond; a rather stark difference from the burly burnet who usually served him. The man looked up when he felt Zoro's gaze fall to him.

"What can I get you?" the blond asked, grinning easily. His bangs covered half of his face and wow-wow-wee-wa, that eyebrow. Zoro struggled not to gawk at him.

"Sake," Zoro responded without hesitation, he was glad that he fell so easily into his usual routine, he never ordered anything else and because of this there was a large supply in stock. The bartender nodded and turned away to pour the beverage for him.

"Here you are." He set the glass gently into the counter.

Zoro nodded his thanks and took a gulp, he was never much for savoring the flavor.

"You're a regular customer, aren't you?" The blond observed, eyeing Zoro. Zoro didn't like being eyed by anyone.

"So what if I am? Don't you have a job to be doing?" Zoro said in a rather unfriendly way. He really wasn't a people person and he didn't appreciate the attempt at conversation. But the blond didn't seem dissuaded, as Zoro had hoped he would be. He didn't even blink at the dismissal.

"Well, there's really not much for me to be doing." He waved a hand to the other patrons who were not paying any attention at all. "So, I think it's alright if I slack off just this once. I read you as a regular and I'm a pretty good about this sort of thing."

Zoro huffed, "Yeah, I come here everyday after work, so what?"

"It's just an observation, no need to be defensive," the blond said, folding together his arms.

Zoro growled, "Where's the other guy? I miss him, he didn't try talking to me."

"I don't know, I just started here and this is the time they gave me. And talking to people won't kill you, civilized people do it all the time," the bartender rolled his eyes like Zoro was some fickle child.

"Yeah, well, it's overrated," Zoro grumbled, taking another swig of his drink.

"But without communication we wouldn't get anything done, moss head," the blond drawled.

Zoro's eyebrow twitched. "What did you call me?" he asked dangerously. This guy had some serious nerve.

"I called you a moss head, marimo. See, I can do a lot with words," he smirked, his hands propping him on the counter.

"You're one to talk, curly-brow!" Zoro said angrily.

The blond's demeanor took a one-eighty turn. "You wanna say that again, you shitty plant?" He seethed.

"Say what, dart-brow?"Zoro said trying to intimidate the other man with his stone cold eye contact.

"You know what, you piece of shit." The bartender held his gaze unblinkingly and without flinching.

"Spiral-face."

"Grass head."

"Lab accident."

"Seaweed brain!"

"Goatee wearing prick!"

"Jackass!"

"Bastard!"

The blond was halfway over the bar as he stared down this green haired jerk. They hadn't noticed that they had attracted the attention if everyone in the bar with their screaming at each other, that included the owner who ran out to see what the hell was going on.

"Sanji, what is going on?" A woman with short orange hair smashed open the door to the back. She placed her hands on her hips with an angry expression on her face.

Sanji turned from Zoro quickly. "Ah, sorry, my dear. I got a bit carried away," he explained lightly.

The woman with orange hair narrowed her eyes at him. "Make sure it doesn't happen again. I'd hate to have to get rid of you on your first day," she threatened but then she seemed to notice Zoro for the first time. "God dammit, you asshole, why are you picking fights with my employee?"

Zoro huffed, "I wasn't picking fights, he was just being a dick and I couldn't let him get away with it."

"I was not!" Sanji exclaimed in an offended tone.

"He was, so why don't you either reprimand your employee of walk right back there, witch," Zoro spat.

"Don't talk to Miss Nami like that, you bastard!" Sanji howled, looking like he wanted to jump over the counter and deck him in his stupid face.

Zoro raised a fist, "You wanna go, blondie?!"

"Knock it off, both of you!" Nami shouted, "Sanji, just apologies to him, it will make things easier," Sanji looked like he wanted to say something very badly but held his tongue. "You," she pointed at Zoro, "don't be such an asshole, I know it must be difficult but I'm sure if you try really, really hard you can manage it." And with that she turned on her heels back through the door.

The bartender, Sanji, turned back toward the oaf with an irritated expression. "I'm sorry," he said through gritted teeth, "That was unprofessional of me."

"Yes, it was," Zoro said just to be that much more of an asshole.

"You're a piece of work, you know that?" Sanji grumbled.

Zoro leaned back and took a drink of sake. "I have been told that, yes. I think sometimes people find me difficult."

"And I can't imagine why," Sanji rolled his eyes, "Although this was the most interesting thing that happened today so maybe I should thank you for being such a piece of shit. I think this is a sign that I should talk to you more."

"No, I think you'll find that it's a sign of the opposite of what you said."

"Nope, it's defiantly that thing I said," Sanji said with a grin. "So next time you come in you'll have that to look forward to."

"No, don't talk to me, I don't think my mind could take much more of this."

"You seem to be holding up just fine to me," Sanji observed.

"I assure you that inside I am dying. I don't want to die yet, I have shit to do."

Sanji was about to say something in return but the door opened and a cold breeze flowed in with the ringing of the little bell over the frame. Two douchey looking guys walked in laughing to themselves.

"Oh great, they look like fun," Sanji murmured darkly.

"I was just leaving anyway." Zoro stood up hastily, knocking back the rest of his drink and setting his money on the counter.

"Ah, come on, don't be like that," Sanji whined as Zoro was about to turn away. Just before he left the blond grabbed his attention again.

"Hey, what's your name?" he asked, his eyes shifting toward the retreating form before him.

Zoro was confused as to why the guy would even care about the name of some guy he had gotten in a screaming match with but he didn't really have anything to lose by telling him. "Zoro," he stated cooly.

"Alright then, marimo, I'll see you tomorrow," Sanji gave a mock solute that made Zoro want to punch him in his smug fucking face.

"What makes you think I'll even come back?" He asked. He hated the idea that this guy could predict his next action.

"Just a feeling," Sanji said, his expression shifting back to pleasant. "Like I said, I'm good at this sort of thing."

"Whatever." And with that Zoro turned and left, maybe tomorrow he wouldn't come back out of spite but he knew he would probably return all the same. Nami would probably hunt him down if he didn't. She would probably think that he'd been kidnapped or something, he was that strict about his bar time. Not that he could possibly be kidnapped because he was not a kid but that's not the point.

As Zoro drudged his way home through the sleet he lamented the loss of his previous bartender but he was too fucking lazy to look for a new place when he had already decided he liked this one. Maybe he would just try it for a few days and if the blond fucking weirdo was too much he would find somewhere else to go. That or he could try convincing Nami tofire him, that sounded more fun.

He didn't have a whole lot to look forward to during the day aside from getting drunk. Not that he ever actually got drunk, he had an astoundingly high tolerance for alcohol.

Every day for him was about the same; work, drink, train, and sleep with the spontaneous interactions from his friends in between. He was not a very sociable person so he had only a few close friends who often dragged him around. Of his very interesting friends Luffy stuck out as the most interesting. Luffy was a tan boy with dark hair and an inexhaustible amount of energy. Both Zoro and Luffy worked for their friend's company building houses. Luffy was an odd one, he liked to think of his friends as crew members on the ship that was his life and he was the captain. He always had the greatest intentions, although sometimes he seemed more like a safety risk than anything of value.

The two of them worked for their friend Usopp, whose dad had started the small company and got it going. They didn't have a huge operation but they did well and they got things done. Usopp was the one who was in charge of the design aspect of the houses and doing owner stuff, Luffy and Zoro were more work hands, although they sometimes handled more important things when needed.

It was defiantly not the most glamorous job in the world by far and it was not the easiest either but they made enough to get by. Plus, there was always the tournament money he won.

Zoro was an amazing swordsman, if he did say so himself and he wouldn't be the only one to say so; he had won nearly every fight he'd gotten himself into. Nearly every fight.

He fought with three beautiful katanas but he could use less depending upon tournament rules. When he wasn't at work or being pulled around by his friends he was training to be the greatest swordsman in the world. It sounded sort of silly to say it like that but Zoro was never one to care much about what anyone thought about anything he did. He would be the world's greatest swordsman one day and that was that.

Zoro shuffled his way up to his shitty little apartment and unlocked the door. It gave a sullen little creak of protest as it swung open and Zoro marched inside, kicking off his boots and collapsing into bed. He didn't even have the effort to change.

XxxX

The next day Zoro found himself sitting back at the barstool again, and Sanji was grinning smugly at him.

"I knew you'd come back," he chucked, retrieving a glass to give him.

Zoro grumbled something along the lines of, "Shut up and pour me a drink."

"Same as yesterday?" he asked raising one very strange eyebrow.

Zoro nodded, Sanji remembered what he ordered yesterday without reminder. To be fair he doubted that huge number if people ordered sake. A drink was then poured for Zoro and set down in front of him.

"So, then where did we leave off yesterday?" the bartender asked sarcastically as he gave Zoro a once over. He seemed about in the same state as he had been yesterday; disgruntled and irritated.

"I think I was telling you to fuck off and let me drink in peace."

Sanji raised a hand to his chin, "Funny that's not how I remember it." Zoro tried to ignore him but he just kept going. "So what exactly is it that you do?" Sanji asked.

"Why are you asking me personal questions?" Zoro shot back.

"I'm only trying to make conversation, things can get rather boring around here, you know," Sanji heaved a sigh. All day no one interesting had come in and the one person how had piqued his interest didn't want to talk to him.

"Then why did you decided to start working here? If you don't like it you should quit," said Zoro hopefully.

"Oh, I have my reasons." Sanji raised a hand to scratch the back if his neck in a distracted way. "Anyway, you know what I do so it's only fair that I should know what you do, I think." He reasoned with very sound logic.

"Will this make you go away?" Asked Zoro, sipping at his drink.

"Maybe, probably not, but there's always the chance, right?" The blond gave a impish grin.

A chance was better than nothing and he really wanted this to go away. "I build houses," he said simply, there was no reason to get excited about it anyway.

"That's very manly of you," Sanji commented as another person took a seat at the bar. Sanji greeted them and prepared their drink, Zoro hoped that this would be the end of their interaction but the blond came back after he was done and the customer was satisfied.

"Anything interesting ever happen on the job?" the blond asked.

Zoro sighed internally, "Sometimes we have to go build on the islands, so we get to stay out there for a few months or sometimes we have someone who falls off a roof or something." Doing houses on the islands was actually kind of annoying. Put-in-bay wasn't so bad because it was more populated but islands like Kelley's were a pain because, they didn't have much in the way of fine living space or decent grocery stores. Lake Eire wasn't exactlythe most high class lake out there so it was fitting that it's islands would be more low key. Still, they had their charm.

"Are the islands very big?" Sanji asked curiously, "I just moved here and I'm not really familiar with the area."

"They aren't that big but some people live on them."

"Huh, well in any case that sounds more interesting than dealing with a bunch of drunks, so I think you have me beat there," Sanji reasoned.

"I thought you were going to leave me alone." Zoro wrinkled his nose and glared at him.

"I said I might." Sanji said shrugging uncaringly.

"Why do you want to talk to me anyway? There are other people you could be bothering." He looked around at all the other losers in room.

"I don't know. I've decided I want to talk to you so that is exactly what I'm going to do." He paused for a moment, startled that he had actually made a little rhyme. God damn poetry.

Zoro scoffed, "Is it going to be like this every time I come here?"

Sanji narrowed his eyes, "I don't know, it depends on how interesting you are."

"Oh, so if I'm really boring you'll go away, good to know."

He frowned, "Are you always such a dick?"

"Yes, now leave me alone." The green haired man grumbled before his phone started to buzz. Probably Luffy, he didn't usually get calls from anyone else; they knew better than that. Begrudgingly, Zoro lifted the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" He said lamely.

"Zoro!" Luffy exclaimed excitedly, "I need you to do something for me."

"What do you want? I'm trying to relax here," he said sarcastically, sending a glare toward Sanji, who was pretending to wipe off the spotless counter top.

"You have to tell Nami to come over next Saturday. Chopper is going to be home so we have to throw him a party. Tell her to invite Brook too." Chopper was a seventeen year old genius, who was currently enrolled in medical school to become a doctor. It had only been a few weeks since Christmas break had ended but everyone still missed him and it would be nice to see him again.

"Yeah, alright," Zoro nodded, even though he was on the phone, "I'll tell her. That all?"

"Yep! See ya, Zoro."

"Later." He ended the call and pocketed his phone, turning back to Sanji. "Oi, go get your boss, I have to talk to her."

Sanji eyed him suspiciously, "And what would a brute such as yourself want with a nice lady like her?"

Zoro snickered, "Nice lady my ass, I'm pretty sure outside of this place she pickpockets people in the street."

And that same anger from yesterday flashed across Sanji's face, "Don't talk about her like that, she is a lovely woman and you would be blessed if she gave you the time of day."

Zoro rolled his eyes, "Just get her or I will."

Sanji huffed and walked into the back, reemerging a moment later behind Nami.

"What do you want," she asked, crossing her arms impatiently.

"Chopper's going to be here next weekend so Luffy's throwing him a party. He said to invite Brook too."

Nami looked quite happy at this, "Alright then, I'll text him later. Tell Luffy we need lots of alcohol."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched, "You own a bar, why don't you bring the alcohol?"

Nami scowled, "Because I don't want to."

"You're such a-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll kick you in the head, marimo," Sanji threatened.

"I'd like to see you try, you little twig," Zoro shot back. Sanji opened his mouth to retort but was cut off by Nami.

"Boys, no fighting in here. Zoro, I will not hesitate to throw you out."

Zoro scoffed as she waked away, "Whatever."

After she left Zoro sat back onto his stool as a curious bartender stared at him.

"How do you know Nami?" He asked in slight wonder. Why on earth would Nami associate with a Neanderthal like this guy? It was truly a mystery.

Zoro gave a dismissive wave of his hand. "We have a mutual friend."

"You actually have friends?" Sanji asked incredulously.

"Yes, I actually have friends," he sneered back, "I bet I have more friends than you do," Zoro challenged, he kind of doubted that Sanji actually had less friends than him, but the child inside him made him feel like he had to challenge Sanji on everything, or maybe that was just the testosterone. It was hard to say really.

Sanji was glaring at him with a considerable amount of malice. Oh dear, maybe he struck a nerve there.

"It's not my fault I suck at making friends," Sanji mumbled toward the floor.

"Are you admitting that I have more friends than you?" Zoro asked, gaping at the bartender. "How the fuck could you possibly have less friends than I do? You don't even know how many I have. It might just be one."

"I don't get out much, it's not my fault." He was rubbing nervously at the back of his neck.

"Are you saying that you don't have any friends?"

"I have friends," Sanji said defensively, "But they're mostly people I just grew up around and work with so they're more family than anything," he explained, rubbing the back of his neck.

"But still, no friends outside of that?"

"Uh, noteally. Do you find that surprising?"

"I guess no, seeing how dysfunctional you are," Zoro scoffed.

"I'm not dysfunctional!" Sanji cried in outrage.

"No, no, no, you're just really fucking weird. Same difference really." Zoro waved a hand in dismissal.

"Am I really that weird?" Sanji asked slightly self consciously.

"Yeah, but I've noticed that you are particularly weird when you are around me, not when you're talking to other people," the swordsman noted.

"You bring out the weird in me, stop doing that? I already need all the help I can get."

"If I'm doing something it's not on purpose, it's not my fault!"

"Well, it's not mine either. You can't blame someone for being weird."

"Yes, you can."

"If you're a fucking asshole you can but people who are considerate and kid can't. So you should be nicer to me," Sanji said with a little smile.

"No! I'm trying to get you to stay away from me, so go away," Zoro whined.

"Yeah, and you've done a great job of that so how about you just give it and give in to my questioning."

"Never. So long as I am still breathing I will never give in to your will."

"I will break your will with my sexy mind control," Sanji said making a very unsexy face.

Zoro nearly choked on his sake. "How the fuck can mind control be sexy!?" he demanded.

"When is mind control not sexy?" Sanji asked innocently, "I think we both know what would happen if someone acquired mind control," he raised his eyebrow suggestively, "My mind control would only be sexy in that I would mesmerize people with my stunning beauty."

"Yeah, well, when you say 'stunning beauty' you sound more like a Barbie princess than a sexy manipulater of minds."

"Shut up, don't ruin this fantasy for me. Having mind control would be awesome," he sighed.

"But wouldn't it get kind of boring getting everything you wanted without having to work for it?"

"I suppose that true," he sighed, "I though I told you not to ruin it for me."

"I will ruin all of your fantasies for you if you don't leave me alone. You'll be daydreaming and things will start to get awesome, then I will suddenly appear and bitch slap you straight to hell."

Sanji pondered this for a moment, "I don't think in comfortable with you being I all of my fantasies. That's a bit awkward, don't you think?"

"Don't think about it like that, it's only weird if you make it weird."

"That makes it seem even worse!"

"Well, if you don't like it then leave me to kill my liver in peace."

"As a bartender I feel it is my duty to lie to you and say that your liver will be fine, but as a human being I can't lie to you. You are going to murder your liver and die in a hospital somewhere."

"Hopefully by that time I will have accomplished all of my life goals. Then I can die happily waiting for a liver donor or something. I don't know how it works." All of his medical knowledge came from half listening to chopper ramble on about medical stuff. None of it really stuck.

"If you're really nice to me maybe I'd donate a piece of my liver," Sanji offered, although he doubted he could tolerate being in a hospital long enough to go through with the procedure. They'd have to put him under even before he was in the fucking building.

"I don't want your liver, I bet we aren't even compatible blood types or whatever shit you need."

"I don't know what the qualifications are but my blood type is O negative so you could have all my blood. We would be like blood brother so some shit." Sanji said, resting a had on the swordsman's arm just to be creepy.

"Ew, don't touch me. I don't want any of your stupid blood or your fucking liver pieces," Zoro said pulling away his arm in apparent disgust.

"What? It's not like I have cooties or something," Sanji said in offense.

"How do I know that, I don't know you well or close enough to assess whether or not you have acquired any form of lice."

"What?" Sanji's brow furrowed in confusion.

"The term cootie originated in trenches during World War One to describe lice," Zoro said with an uppity air.

"Oh, wow, mister fucking history over here. It's good to know that you don't just waste your brain. You look like the all brawn and no brain kind of guy."

"You don't look like you have either of those things," Zoro scoffed.

"Yeah, well what do you know anyway? I'm smart enough and I am physically fit so fuck you."

"Oh yeah, what was your ACT score?" Zoro asked.

"That doesn't mean jack shit and you know it! It's a bunch of standardized testing bullshit so that colleges can more easily pick out the 'best' students. Some people just aren't good at testing."

"You seem like you have a lot of pent up aggression about that," Zoro observed, taking in Sanji angry and slightly flushed face as evidence.

"I fucking do!"

"You must have gotten a bad score then."

"My score wasn't bad, but I guess it wasn't great either." Sanji said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Then what was it?"

"None of your fucking business, moss head."

"Tellme!"

"Ugh, fine it was a twenty six, don't fucking judge me," Sanji sighed, deflating slightly.

"Better than me, I got a twenty two."

"And I'm pretty sure that you didn't want to kill yourself over score, right?" Sanji asked in distaste.

"No, it was just some fucking stupid ass test, like you said. Why would it make you want to kill yourself?"

"I was exaggerating, idiot. I'm just high strung about that sort of thing." And high school hadn't been a particularly fun experience for him.

"Ugh, are you one of those neurotic, I have to do everything right, kind of people? What was your fucking grade point average?"

"Three point eight," the blond said shifting uncomfortably.

"You were totally a fucking try hard in high school," Zoro announced.

"No! Shut up! I was not."

"You totally were."

Sanji huffed, "Whatever, I don't care what you think anyway. I've only known you two days and my opinion if you is not especially high, I'll have you know."

"And yet you refuse to give in to my demand to be left alone!"

"It's a matter of principal," Sanji explained, "The less you want me here the more I want to annoy you."

"Fucking great, and I suck at acting so I guess I'm stuck with you until you get bored and start to annoy someone else."

"That's right. It's not all bad though, not even you can think so. You finished drinking your sake ten minutes ago and you haven't left yet so I can't be that annoying."

Zoro glanced down at his empty cup in shock, that was weird.

"Oh no, I've spoiled it," Sanji said sadly.

"I have to go." Zoro said quickly paying and rushing to stand up.

Sanji waved his hands back and forth like he was trying to halt Zoro's actions. "Noo, don't get all embarrassed we were having a good human conversation. I'm sorry I ruined it."

"I am leaving," Zoro said finally as he went to leave.

"Goodbye, marimo," Sanji called after him with as small smile turning up the corners of his lips. Zoro did not turn to say goodby, he walked straight out, embarrassed at his actions of the last ten minutes and more embarrassed that Sanji had noticed as well.

XxxX

A/N: I'm really excited about this one, you guys. It was originally supposed to take place in Massachusetts but then I realized that the midwest would be a better setting than the east coast, so now we're in Ohio. No one ever writes about Ohio so shout out to any Ohioans ; ) Forests and farmlands, am I right?

Thanks.


	2. Fidget Brain

I'm a fidget brain  
I'm a fidget brain  
In a constant state of disarray, disarray  
I'm a fidget brain  
I'm a fidget brain  
In a constant state of disarray, disarray

-"Fidget Brain" The Hoosiers

XxxX

Zoro had decided he didn't hate Sanji enough to stop coming to the Thousand Sunny. He was annoying, sure, but he wasn't bad enough to warrant any conscious effort to avoid him. Sometimes Zoro even found him slightly amusing, not that he let it show. That would be disastrous. No, it was better to suppress all facial expression so that no one would know what he was thinking. He would just stick to what he knew.

Sanji did seem a bit of an odd guy. He had a habit of rubbing the back of his neck when he was nervous, it was a pretty bad tell, and he got nervous when anything personal was asked about him which didn't seem fair because he was always asking personal questions. His brain seemed a bit... Frazzled as well. Sometimes he would go off on a tangent and slip away into thought until he snapped back to reality. Very strange. Or other times he would daze off just to be suddenly slammed back into reality by some force that happened outside his knowledge with a visible jolt and often a yelp of fright. It was very amusing, probably one of Sanji's best qualities. Or at least Zoro's favorite by far.

Zoro was sitting at his seat, because it had become and would remain_ his_ seat, while Sanji was leaning lazily on the bar. He was lost in thought again, head tipped slightly to the right with eyes, or rather eye, glazed over like he was somewhere else. Zoro waved a hand in front of his face, no reaction. He snapped his fingers and the blond's whole body jerked. He let out a sharp gasp as he flinched back. As he recovered he glared at Zoro like he was some sort of horrible stain instead of a loyal paying customer.

"Scare you?" Zoro asked with a smirk, sitting back in his seat.

Sanji glared but he couldn't really deny it now could he? "I wasn't paying attention," he said simply.

"More like you were dead to the world. Anything special going on in there?" Zoro reached over to tap him on the forehead. His arm was quickly slapped away.

"Nothing, just thinking..." he trailed off, starting to go back into his daze again.

"Oi, what's your deal? You do this all the time," Zoro pointed out, calling the attention back to himself. It was annoying that now Zoro could recognize something that the blond did all the time.

Sanji looked at him blankly, "No deal, I just have a bit of a headache is all."

"I've never seen anyone deal with a headache the same way that you do. Most people just get angry and hold their head, not mentally faze out of this plane of existence. You sure you don't have some sort of tumor or something inhibiting your brain function? Because that could explain some things."

"I have a perfectly normal brain, thank you very much. Well," he paused, "at least I think it's normal but I have no way to check."

"Get a brain scan?" Zoro suggested with a shrug.

Sanji wrinkled his nose in disgust, "No way, I can't stand hospitals. Last person who tried to bring me to a hospital got kicked through a door and had to drive himself to the hospital without me."

"Well, can't say I blame you but that seems a bit extreme." Zoro had no love for hospitals either, most of the time they seemed unnecessary to him. Even when he was bleeding profusely and people were getting hysterical. He would tell them he was fine but they just had to drag him to the hospital for stitches or whatever anyway. Fuck that, bandaids are for sissies.

Sanji shrugged, "It's not like I can help it, it's a gut response. I've always been like that with doctors and hospitals, which is kind of a pain both metaphorically and physically." His eyes slid to the side like he was thinking about something in particular that was especially annoying about it.

"Do you have to go to the hospital often?" Zoro asked curiously. The way he said it made it seem like he needed a lot of medical attention but wouldn't allow himself to receive care. For a normal person it would seem like being afraid of the doctor would be an annoyance but being someone with a chronic disorder it would fucking blow hard.

"Every now and then, I guess I should probably go more than the average person but I don't so..." he trailed off sliding his eyes in a wide arch around the room.

"Why? Did you have a very dangerous job before this or are you sick?" Zoro snorted. Was that a rude question to ask? It sounded like it could be taken as rude but Zoro didn't really give much of a shit.

Sanji laughed a bit at that, "The job wasn't so dangerous, it was the people who were trying to put me in the hospital."

"Is that why you left them?" Zoro asked, wondering how much he could get him to tell before he realized things were getting personal again. Too personal and conversation would shut down on his part. Zoro was feeling nosy, and he didn't fail to notice that Sanji did not give any indication as to whether or not he was sick.

"Sort of," Sanji rested his cheek against his palm, "I just had to get away from them for a while. I'll probably go back in a few months when things have blown over."

"What exactly needs blowing over?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"Eh, just some stuff." He was scratching the back of his neck again, the conversation would be ending there. Or rather a switch of topics was in order. "So, do anything exciting today?" he asked lazily.

Zoro gave him a stupid look, "No."

"Me either, but I guess that's a good thing."

"Why is that?"

"Because if it's boring then at least it's not bad," Sanji sighed, his inflections dipping with a funny sort of sadness.

"Those sound like the words of a person whose been through some excitement, and by excitement I mean shit," Zoro said bringing his sake to his lips.

"Maybe, but everyone's been through something at some point. That can't be an excuse for all of my inner pessimism," Sanji grumbled, not raising his eyes to meet Zoro's.

"That sounds like a cry for help if I've ever heard one. Is the depression getting to you?" Zoro teased.

Sanji glared at him sharply, "I'm not depressed, asshole, and if I were crying for help then I wouldn't come crying to you. Don't joke about mental disorders, it takes away from their seriousness."

"I should hope not, if you started crying I would fucking leave. I don't want to deal with your shit. And I'm sorry for having a darker sense of humor but I'll joke about whatever the fuck I damn well please," Zoro laughed.

Sanji placed his hands on his hips, "First of all, you're an asshole. And second, I don't cry, sometimes I'm just so god damn manly that my eyes sweat."

"Ugh, that just sounds gross. It makes me think of those desert lizard things that squirt blood from their eyes." He made a weird face at remembering those spiky little lizards.

"They are called Horned Lizards and I happen to think they look like scaly little toads with tails, if you took them my that tail and smashed them against the sidewalk."

"What the fuck do you have against these lizards that makes you want to hurt them so badly?" Zoro asked in concern. "And what kind of weird defense mechanism is squirting blood anyway?"

"I'll have you know that it's my self defense mechanism. I warn you, marimo, if you ever try to pull any funny business I will squirt you with my bloody eye sweat," Sanji threatened, clenching his fist in the air to show his determination and resolve.

"What kind of funny business do you think I would pull?" Zoro asked in offense and slight disgust at the mental image that Sanji had conjured up.

"You know what kind," Sanji said, leaning forward and giving him a knowing look.

"Nope. Stop. I'm ending this conversation now." Zoro made a slicing motion with this hand.

"Fine, fine, care to change the topic then, moss for brains?" Sanji said, leaning against the counter lazily.

"No." Zoro hated thinking up questions for discussion, it was too awkward and he could never think of anything to say.

"Alright then, what did you dream about last night?" Sanji asked casually.

"What kind of dumb fucking question is that? You do realize how many people don't dream, right? Not to mention how fucking creepy it is asking like that," Zoro sputtered.

"Eh, but the only important question here is, do you dream?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I do."

"Then what did you dream about last night? I bet you have really fucked dreams, don't you? Your mind is probably a filthy, filthy place. I bet your dreams are about, like, smut factories or something."

"No! Well, yeah maybe they can be a little weird, but I don't want to tell you about them. And how the fuck can you operate a smut factory?"

Sanji didn't miss a beat. "With many people and a lot of passion you can do anything. What if I told you my dream first?"

"But I don't want to hear your dream at all," Zoro grumbled.

"Too bad. I had a dream I was making gingerbread houses-"

"No, stop. I don't care so much it hurts." Zoro clenched his head, trying to block out Sanji's incessant talking.

"-in the home where I grew up and I was attacked by a big dog. So I kick the dog off and stab it with the long knife that I suddenly had in my hand. Then I walked out into a museum where they had a huge tank full of giant squid sloshing around and they were throwing in people as tributes to the squid gods. And that's all I remember." Well, it was actually more detailed than that but that's the brief overview of what happened.

"Holy fuck, you have got to be a sociopath. What kind of fucked up person has dreams about stabbing dogs just after casually talking about smashing toads into lizards?"

"Me, that's who. I mean I don't really like dogs but I don't think I'd kill one." The fact that he said think was concerning.

"If I ever see you with a dog I will alert animal protective services," Zoro promised.

"You do that. So then, are you a cat person or a dog person?"

"A dog person, cats suck." Cats were like bitchy ghosts who only showed up to feed off your soul. Do ghosts feed on souls? Do they feed on anything? Stupid questions, they didn't even exist anyway.

"Meh, I like cats better. I'd make a joke about female genitalia but in too classy for that. Honestly, though I would rather just have fish." Fish were cool, sleek, and you didn't really give a shit when they died. And they didn't really give a shit about you either.

"That's so lame," Zoro scoffed.

"I don't have time for a real pet. I mean I guess I do now, but I didn't before. Now I just don't want one."

"Fish aren't real pets then?"

"No, fish are like wall decorations that can die so they don't count as pets."

"If that's the case, then just buy a bunch of those plastic fish people put on their walls."

"Nah, I like real fish better." Plastic fish just weren't as fun to watch as real ones. What was really great was to see a horde of catfish slithering over each other for food. Their little mouths open wide as they reached for their fish food. They were beautiful in their own little way.

"You're weird," Zoro declared.

"No, you're weird," Sanji shot back in a totally non-childlike manner.

"Hey, weirdo, pay attention to your fucking job. They're trying to get your attention," Zoro said, pointing over to the other side of the bar where a couple stood around looking irritated. Sanji went all super bar man mode, apologizing profusely for his oversight. Super bar man would be a shitty superhero, his only real powers would be dealing with drunk people and getting people drunk. The former would probably be good, the latter would mostly be good for rapists.

After Sanji had fulfilled their wishes he returned to his place with Zoro.

"Ugh, stop distracting me from my job," Sanji whined dramatically.

"It's not my fault you can't leave me alone. Speaking of leaving," He glanced at his phone for the time, the bar didn't have any visible clocks to manipulate people into staying longer by mistake. "I have to go anyway." He had already finished his drink and it seemed as if he had waited for Sanji to come back over before he decided to leave. He seemed to be staying later and later every day. Maybe it was best not to think much on that.

"No!" Sanji whined, this time for real. "You're the most interesting person I get all night, which depressingly makes you pretty much the highlight of my day. Fuck, just saying that makes me think that I should probably kill myself."

"Well, as much as your offhand mention of suicide concerns me I have to go be interesting somewhere else."

"You're leaving me to a sea of boring, I hope you understand the significance of that," Sanji tilted his head dramatically.

"I assure you that I do." He paid his bill and started to walk out.

"See you tomorrow, grass head," Sanji called in a way that was starting to become terrifyingly normal.

Zoro gave a noise of acknowledgment and raised a hand in farewell.

XxxX

"Oi, blondie, what are you thinking about," Zoro asked a zoned out Sanji. Usually when he zoned out he would stare at nothing in particular but currently he was staring at Zoro. At least he wasn't staring at his face, just his shoulder. Maybe that was even more awkward.

"What? Nothing." His head snapped up abruptly.

"You were staring at me so now you have to tell me. That's like a rule or something." Zoro said childishly.

Sanji sighed, "I was just wondering how you have so much missile mass- missile mass? I mean muscle mass," he corrected himself. Ugh, he couldn't even speak right. Having missiles attached to his body would he pretty cool, though. Nobody would want to fuck with you and if they tried they did so under threat of accidentally blowing themselves up.

"Pretty gay, you know that, right?" Zoro laughed, soaking up the satisfaction that he had just been called physically fit, and therefor, his brain supplied for him, physically attractive.

Sanji's face flushed indignantly. "Shut up, I was just wondering, geez. I don't even care anymore."

"I have so many muscles because I'm very manly in general and because I train every day," Zoro explained, only half joking.

"Train for what?"

"I'm going to be the world's greatest swordsman, obviously," Zoro rolled his eyes.

"What?" Sanji asked in deadpan.

"I fight with katanas and I'm really fucking good," he said with great confidence. And why not have confidence? He had the record to back it up.

"Really?" Sanji leaned forward in interest, "I can imagine you swinging around a sharp object, but I expect you would be more a danger to yourself than to anyone else. I guess it's not what I expected but I think I could still take you."

Zoro scoffed, "How could you possibly keep up with me while I'm wielding three katana? Unless your terrible, terrible secret is that you are some kind of mutant or suer monster."

Sanji's jaw dropped, despite his attempt to stay nonchalant. "Three!? How the fuck do you wield three katanas? Do you have, like, a mutant third arm hidden under your shirt or something?"

"That would be amazing but no." Zoro imagined if he had that he could carry four swords into battle. He'd be like General Grievous or some kind of ancient and malignant god or something.

"Then how?" Sanji demanded

"Nope," Zoro said, wishing to remain mysterious and interesting, "I'd rather hear how you think you could face me in all my mutant glory."

"I've been trained in the fine art of ass kicking and I don't mean that in a funny way, I actually just fight with my feet. The ass kicking is literal," the blond said, tapping the tip of his foot against the floor.

"Like kick boxing?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

Sanji waved his hand, "Eh, not exactly. It's more like Savate, but no hands."

"Where did you learn to do it?"

"From a crazy old man."

"Right, a crazy old man, I should have known. That's where all superheroes learn how to control their power."

"Yeah," Sanji held up a hand, "I had a weird childhood, don't question it."

"And if I did question?" Zoro pressed.

"Personal. There has to be a line somewhere." Sanji said, whipping a smudge from the counter.

"Whatever," Zoro rolled his eyes, that hardly seemed fair.

Sanji chuckled, "Don't look so upset, marimo, it's not your fault I have trust issues."

Zoro grimaced, "What even is a marimo anyway?"

"They are weird little moss algae balls that are found in japan. How have you never been compared to one before?" Sanji looked incredulous. Like marimos weren't some obscure thing from another country.

"Probably because they're so fucking weird and obscure. Why the hell do you even know about their existence?"

"If I tell you you aren't going to kill me, right? Because the secret of the marimos is not something I'm willing to be murdered over," Sanji said mocking a nervous tone.

"I might just kill you because your so annoying so you may as well die this way for a decent cause." It wasn't even really a decent cause, honestly. It would go interestingly on an obituary. "Death by hit man to protect the secret of the marimos". But the press would know that so it wouldn't be printed. Death by hit man still sounded pretty bad ass.

"Alright, fine. It's because I'm a fucking cultured individual... Also, I spend a lot of time on the internet," Sanji said mentioning the last part very quickly.

"There we go, an honest answer."

"I'm just glad that you now know that you have a family out there."

"Shut the fuck up."

"What? I'm just saying that I would be glad to know that I'm not the only one out there with weird fucking hair."

"It's not even that weird." Zoro rolled his eyes.

"Is the color even real, or do you dye it?" Sanji asked suspiciously.

"It's natural. Do I look the the kind of person who would make the effort to insure that my eyebrows are always this color?" Zoro asked, pointing to his green eyebrows.

"No, I suppose not."

"There you go then."

"This only validates my thoughts thoughts on your photosynthetic abilities, though." Sanji grinned toothily.

"If I could do photosynthesis that would be great. I wouldn't have to stop and eat, I could just sleep though meals in sunbeams." Like a cat, he added mentally. A big and dangerous cat.

Sanji looked horrified, "Why would you not want to eat!? Eating is amazing!"

"Because if I'm eating I have to pay for food or make food, and I suck at cooking. Also eating take up time and energy. Time and energy wasted on something I might not even like." Zoro wasn't exactly a picky eater, he ate whatever happened to be put in front of him but most of it didn't taste good leading him to resent eating in general.

Sanji covered his ears and shook his head. "Don't say things like that, my heart can't take it."

"It's not a big deal, what do you care about my relationship with food?"

"I worked in a restaurant before I came here and food is a thing I hold very near and dear to my heart." He placed a hand over his heart.

"You wouldn't think it with a physic like that," he said looking down at Sanji's thin frame.

"That's because I know what to eat and how much of it to eat," he said with a smile. "And I also know what to make other people eat. I'll have to make you something at some point."

"I don't think if trust anything you made me." Poison was the first think that popped up in his head when he thought of Sanji and his food together.

"I would never poison you. What would that even accomplish? Nothing, that's what. Now I've decided that at some point in the future you will taste my cooking. One way or another."

"Yeah, okay. I don't think anyone's ever threatened to feed me before."

"Well there's a first for everything. And this probably won't be the last time I do it so be prepared for that," he warned seriously. He took his cooking very seriously.

"Great. I bet you suck at cooking too," Zoro said darkly.

Sanji looked incredibly offended, "Yeah. No. Okay, that tears it! I'm going to cook you the best fucking meal you've ever had in your stupid, pathetic life!" Sanji spoke very quickly and his face was growing increasingly red. "What kind of food do you like?"

"No, it don't want to eat your shitty food."

"Zoro, you will tell me and you will eat my food, I swear on my life." The blond was now giving off some serious murder vibes that may have made even Zoro a little nervous, which may account for his answer.

"Fine, just not sweet things," he mumbled looking away.

"That doesn't narrow it down much, asshole."

"Traditional Japanese food makes me think of being a kid, so it doesn't suck so bad," he offered reluctantly. If he was being forced to eat something it should at least be something he liked.

Sanji's lips turned up in as smile at that answer. "Now that is something I can work with. Tomorrow I will provide you with food and I will prove to you that I am among the greatest chefs to walk this mother fucking planet."

Zoro raised an eyebrow. "With a statement like that this better blow my fucking mind."

After that Sanji was called away and Zoro took his leave, Sanji yelling goodbye as he walked out the door.

XxxX

The next day Zoro walked in at his usual time. He took his usual seat, noting that Sanji was nowhere in sight, no one was behind the counter at all, in fact. He was about to walk around and pour his own drink when Sanji walked through the employee area carrying a plate with him.

He had a smug expression on his face as he set down a plate of perfectly triangular onigiri in front of Zoro.

Zoro's expression was trained to be neutral, he did not betray that Sanji had unintentionally cooked his favorite food ever. "Why did you pick this?" He asked calmly.

"I was looking up Japanese food and I like how cute these things look, also they are triangles. Triangles have three sides and you have three earrings so it worked in my brain. When I say it out loud it sounds stupid..." He finished awkwardly.

"What flawless logic you have."

"Shut up and eat, marimo."

Zoro picked up one of the triangles and lifted it to his mouth but stopped before eating it. "Stop staring at me, it's really creepy." Sanji was staring at him very intensely and it was very unnerving.

"Sh... Just eat."

Zoro tried to ignore him as he took that first bite. As soon as the taste hit his tongue he knew he had made a mistake. That mistake being that he let Sanji stare at him while he ate what would probably go down as the best thing he had ever tasted. He tried very hard to focus on the fact that he was being proved wrong and not on how good it was because it was soooo good.

He probably didn't do a very good job because Sanji started giggling like a little fucking girl. He didn't say anything, just watched with a self-satisfied look on his face.

Zoro ate the whole plate and did not utter a word of complement but he didn't say anything negative either. When the plate had been cleared Sanji pulled it back over the counter.

"I'd cook for you everyday but I don't want to show you favoritism over all my other customers," Sanji grinned.

"I wouldn't eat your shitty food everyday anyway," Zoro claimed, but his words lacked malice. He left that day with a stomach full of wonderful food and a heart full of bitterness.

XxxX

On a snowy Friday, the day before Chopper's party, Luffy accompanied Zoro to the bar. He didn't come often but he was too excited for Saturday to go home all on his own. The burnet was laughing like a lunatic when they walked through the door, startling Sanji from a daydream induced daze.

"Ah," the bartender exclaimed as they approached, "You do have friends." His gaze rested lightly in Luffy.

Zoro didn't dignify that with a response, he just scowled in a very unfriendly manner.

Luffy cast a curious look at the blond bartender. "Who are you?" he asked bluntly.

Sanji turned his gaze to the swordsman with a heartbroken look. "Marimo, I'm hurt. Am I not important enough to tell your friends about? Does my existence mean nothing to you?" He placed a hand over his chest as if in pain.

Zoro grit his teeth. "Your existence means less than nothing, just give me the booze," he demanded.

Sanji already had the alcohol in hand. He slid it across the counter with a grumpy expression. He was hoping that the moron wouldn't catch it and it would spill all over him, but alas no such luck. With that out of the way he turned back to Luffy.

"Sanji," he said extending a hand over the smooth gray counter top.

Luffy grinned back at him. Zoro knew that expression and he then began to feel a headache coming on. If Luffy decided that he liked this guy then they would defiantly be seeing more of each other. Dear god, why? Didn't they see enough of each other as it was.

"Luffy." Luffy said, returning the gesture. The hand was taken and fate was sealed.

"What can I get you, Luffy?" Sanji asked in good nature, as any good bartender should do.

"Nothing, I'm just here for Zoro," Luffy said plainly, turning to his friend for a moment to observe him angrily drinking his alcoholic beverage. and then back to Sanji, who was the more interesting of the two at the moment.

"Despite his antisocial personality?" Sanji asked, eyebrow raised as if the notion was ridiculous.

Luffy laughed, "Yeah, Zoro doesn't like people much." He gave the marimo a friendly punch in the arm, which was absorbed by Zoro's grand muscle mass. That or he was made of stone. Maybe he was a golem... Or a man-droid. Sanji withheld a giggle at the term man-droid.

"So I've noticed," Sanji smirked, ignoring all man-droid related thoughts and turning his gaze to an irritated Zoro. "What's the deal with that, moss head?"

"There is no deal! Get out of my face, wonder brow."

Sanji just shook his head, "See, there he goes again. There is no need to so aggressively push me away, I'm just being friendly," he pouted.

"No, you're being a dick," Zoro spat back.

Sanji pursed his lips in thought. "Maybe a little," he mused. He was often told by the people who were not afraid of him that he was kind of a dick, and behind his back people who were afraid of him also called him this slang term for male genitalia, but what the fuck did they know? They were a bunch of dicks.

Sanji was then called away to go take care of another customer, leaving the two to themselves.

Luffy turned to Zoro again. "Zoro, why didn't you tell me about him?" Luffy pouted. This Sanji development interested him greatly and he was sorely sorry to have missed it at it's beginning.

"It didn't seem important," Zoro said, sipping his sake. He did not see how it was important anyway. Should he tell people when he met random people who turned out to be really annoying? If he always did that then he would have to do a lot of telling and that's not what he was all about.

"But Sanji's really cool," Luffy whined.

"How would you know, you just met him, and don't say things like that so loud. He can hear you," Zoro said as he watched Sanji's mouth twitch upward at Luffy's praise as he pretended to listen to whatever this new customer was saying. He didn't want Sanji's ego to grow any larger than it already was, this small bar space couldn't take that kind of stress.

"I'm a good judge of character," Luffy announced. And Zoro couldn't really argue with that, Luffy did have a knack for befriending alright people and even when they weren't alright he always saw the best in them. On second thought maybe he wasn't so much a good judge of character, maybe he was just childishly innocent. Yeah, that was probably it.

"Then I hope that his potential is hiding so I'm not disappointed at his lack of personality." Zoro said sarcastically.

"Who is it that lacks personality, mister sits around drinking alcohol and scowling?" Sanji said upon returning as the new customer turned out to be rather boring.

"Hey, Sanji, you should come hang out with us Saturday," Luffy suggested enthusiastically.

Sanji's brow furrowed, "Is this the party you're throwing for your college friend?" he asked, lifting his hand to scratch the back of his neck.

"Yeah, but Chopper won't mind. Come on, you have to come," Luffy begged. Chopper really wouldn't mind at all and he would be too nice to say anything if he did mind. He was kind to a flaw, that one.

Sanji took a second to deliberate before he took on a very determined look and slamming down his fist apparently with more force than intended because he made himself jump.

"Alright," he said, gingerly removing his fist from the counter. "I'm in. Should I bring anything?"

Luffy grinned so brightly that he could quite possibly blind someone if he wasn't careful. As previously stated he was a health and safety nightmare.

"Meat!" He exclaimed, standing so suddenly that he knocked over his stool and drew upon himself the attention of all the bar patrons.

Zoro grabbed him by the back of his shirt and pulled him back, "No, he doesn't have to bring anything."

"Awwww, Zoro!" Luffy whined.

"Hold on there, Hasselhoff." Sanji said, holding a hand up in protest. "I can bring meat, it's not a problem. Just name a time and place."

"Hang on, back up, did you just call me Hasselhoff?" Zoro asked over Luffy's cheering. He wasn't quite sure if that should be taken as an insult or a complement.

"Yeah, I did. Deal with it," Sanji said, raising his chin in a challenging manner.

Zoro shook his head and got back on track. "Whatever. Look, you don't understand. This guy here," he pointed to Luffy, "is a bottomless pit from which no food can escape."

"So I'll bring a lot then," Sanji said nonchalantly.

Luffy gave a cheer, giving Sanji the time and address. Fan-fucking-tastic, this was sure to be fun.

XxxX

A/N: I feel like I always make Sanji too quirky, but then I decide I don't care because I like quirky Sanji better anyway. This time it's on purpose though.

Ugh, holding out on updates is going to kill me, I was supposed to wait until March.

And we are going to pretend that in this universe the human genome codes for hair colors outside the normal range. For the sake of my sanity please, it upsets me when Zoro has to dye his hair. Also pre-time skip because I can't stand all those fat necks and dysmorphic bodies. I'm looking at you Nami.

Thanks.


	3. We're Going To Be Friends

Tonight I'll dream while I`m in bed  
When silly thoughts go through my head  
About the bugs and alphabet  
And when I wake tomorrow I'll bet  
That you and I will walk together again  
I can tell that we are gonna be friends  
Yes, I can tell that we are gonna be friends

-"We're Going To Be Friends" The White Stripes

XxxX

Sanji had maybe gone a bit overboard with the food. He was forced to carry his weight limit in food up to Luffy's apartment, where this party was taking place. He was slightly nervous, what could he say? He didn't often make friends like this, it was out of his comfort zone but he decided he was going to take this as an opportunity to do something positive with himself. He had to do something, that's why he was here after all, something had to change. He didn't want to be sucked down by old recycled thoughts, he wanted something new to think about. Fuck the environment, although it was only metaphorical recycling.

Sanji raised his hand to ring the doorbell. About nine seconds later Luffy pulled open the door.

"Sanji!" he shouted and his eyes were immediately drawn to the bounty of food he was balancing precariously on his person, "You brought food!" It was as if he was the lone hero who had rescued a dozen starving babies from a burning orphanage. Outside of Luffy's mind, however, it was more like being a delivery guy. Luffy probably made delivery people feel special.

"I said I would," Sanji smirked as Luffy took some of the containers and pulled the bartender inside. Everyone else was already there, Sanji was ever so slightly late, half because he had to lug over all this food and half because he didn't want to be that awkward first arrival.

As they set the things onto the counter Luffy began opening everything while Sanji took a look around. Zoro was sitting in the corner, trying to ignore his arrival while a young man chatted animatedly to him. Sanji assumed that this must be Chopper because he was the youngest one there. Nami was on the other side of the room talking to a man with dark skin and frizzy black hair who Sanji did not recognize.

With the food safely set out Luffy called attention to himself, although he could hardly speak properly with all the saliva watering from his mouth. "Everyone this is Sanji, half of you already know him but he works for Nami as a bartender. Sanji, that is Chopper, he's a doctor-"

"Not yet, you bastard!" Chopper shouted, although he looked the opposite of upset about the comment.

"-Brook couldn't make it, Nami said he's preforming at some other bar tonight but you probably already know him anyway. That is Usopp, he is Zoro and my boss." He pointed to the man Nami was talking to.

Sanji gave a rather weak wave, rubbing the back if his neck. Zoro noticed the appearance of the nervous tick and was slightly surprised because from what he'd seen Sanji was generally good around people, although right now he was pretending not to pay attention to Sanji so he did not voice this observation.

Nami, on the other hand, was curious about the food. "What did you bring us, Sanji?" she asked, peering over at the food. It smelled amazing.

"Ah." Sanji stepped over and began to examen his food. It had all survived the journey in okay condition, but okay was never good enough; a fact which made Sanji's head throb.

Relax, no one cares. Just let it go. Breathe. Ignore your insecurities and go on with your life, you fucking dumb ass.

Luffy let out a whoop of joy and swooped down on the food like a most vicious and vindictive seagull. Nami saw the attack coming and went to swat him out of the way but he managed to get away with a chicken leg, which was then stuffed glutinously into his mouth. His eyes grew wide and shone with glee.

"Ish sho goo!" he exclaimed, grabbing for another but Sanji, in seeing the wonderful Nami grow alarmed at the sight of Luffy and food, thought it wise to block his path. He grabbed him by the wrists, keeping his hands stationary, and looked to Nami for advice.

"If anyone wants food, get it now or Luffy will eat it all," Nami announced, filling her plate with food. The others followed suit while Sanji held off a ravenous Luffy, which was a feat of its own.

The chorus of approval began shortly after. Singing a sweet melody through Sanji's ears and straight into his fucked up little soul, which went all wobbly with joy. Sanji prided himself in his cooking abilities, his food was his pride and joy after all. He was glad to receive complements on the quality of his food, even they probably didn't know what to look for in good professional cooking.

Zoro was the only one who said nothing about the food. He kept a straight face and ate like a robot, giving no indication of what he thought. It was irksome and frustrated Sanji to no end.

"This is amazing!" said a wide eyed Ussop, through a mouth full of food, "Why do you work for Nami when you can do this!?"

"He used to work for some fancy five star restaurant in Columbus," Nami chimed in, looking in awe at the food and not seeming offended at Usopp's comment about the job she provided being beneath him. "Why the hell did you quit?" she asked.

Sanji looked uncomfortable, "Uh, the owner and I had a bit of a falling out, so I quit." There was something a little off about this statement but no one questioned any further, instead they enjoyed the wonderful food Sanji had bestowed onto them.

After everyone had had their fill Sanji let Luffy vacuum up the rest with alarming speed and efficacy. Watching this horror unfold, Sanji was struck by the idea that scientists should clone this young man and have him clean up meat packaging factories with his mouth. He had a feeling he would get it done faster and with more efficiency. On second thought that idea was slightly revolting, bloated meat covers Luffys sucking up scraps off the ground. Oh god, why was he thinking about this? Change the subject, hurry!

"Is he always like this?" Sanji asked meekly, dismayed with his rapidly disappearing feast.

"Yep," Usopp chirped, "Luffy could eat a village's worth of food in less than twenty minutes. Hey, have I ever told you guys about the time I saved an entire village by killing a giant lion and roasting it for a feast?" He then spun a ridiculous tale of how he did just that.

As the evening progressed Sanji found that all previous worries were unfounded. Everyone, minus Zoro, was wonderful. They were an odd bunch but they all seemed to get along exceedingly well.

They all found it amusing that Luffy had dragged another person over into their little group, apparently he had brought everyone together in one way or another. Luffy seemed to be a leader of sorts for them, or at least they respected him enough to listen when he was expressing an opinion about something. They affectionately called him "captain" apparently due to the fact that after buying a motor boat, he had named the Going Merry, he had also ordered a fancy captain's hat off the internet and wore it on his first outing over top of the straw hat he always wore. It was a little weird to see someone wearing a straw hat in the middle of January. But the captains had Sanji could now see hanging on the wall on a nail where a picture should probably be. As far as Sanji could tell Luffy was just a great guy at heart and he had chosen an interesting bunch for his crew.

Sanji got the chance to talk with Chopper for a while. The kid was really sweet, Sanji caught onto that right away. When Sanji asked him about how school was going his smile brightened and he began to talk animatedly about a lot of things that went way over Sanji's head, but it was still just nice to see that he was so in love with what he was doing, a lot of people didn't know exactly what to do with themselves, it was good that he did.

The conversation was brought to an abrupt end when Luffy started choking on something and Chopper had to rush over to help him. The rest if the group seemed oddly unfazed by this so Sanji assumed that this wasn't the first time something like this had happened.

After that he struck up a conversation with Usopp.

"So, I hear that you are the boss of those two morons," Sanji's said pointing to Zoro and Luffy, who were playing Mario Cart with Nami, while chopper watched. The two of them were in the kitchen.

"Yep, they have to do whatever I tell them," Usopp laughed dramatically which Sanji took as a sign that he was stretching the truth a little bit.

"Are they hard workers?" They seemed like goofballs who would slack off or find somewhere nice to take a nap. Sanji wished he knew something more about the guy because he didn't really want the conversation to be centered around Zoro and Luffy.

"They get the job done. Although, I could do it singlehandedly and I just choose not to. I like to let you mortals feel like you have something to do. But yeah, Luffy is good for moral and menial tasks and Zoro is pretty good at lifting things."

"I'll be he is, with all his stupid muscles," Sanji mumbled. He might not admit it but he envied Zoro's body a little bit. It wasn't fair that he had a mlanly man body and not like that of a tall flat chested girl. Not that Sanji looked like a flat chested girl, he just looked like a skinny guy, his brain just made him hate his body because it sucked.

"Yeah, but muscles aren't everything. I can move objects and hearts but showing acts of astounding bravery," Usopp claimed, placing a hand over his chest.

"I would love to see that," Sanji grinned, wondering what the other man would do when caught in a lie.

Usopp hesitated for only a second before boldly boasting, "I'll show you courage." His knees wobbled slightly as he picked up a banana from a bowl on the counter and carried it to the door leading to the living room, where everyone was sitting. Sanji moved with him, anxious to see what he would do.

Usopp lifted the yellow fruit and took aim, holding the banana like a boomerang. After one mock throw Usopp flung the banana forward. It turned head over heal before hitting Zoro directly in the back of the head. Zoro let out a startled sound and whipped around to see who had thrown the banana at him but Usopp had already ducked out of the doorway leaving behind Sanji, who was laughing hysterically.

"Did you throw that at me?!" Zoro yelled, pointing at the offending banana as he stormed toward the chef.

Sanji shook his head through his laughter. Honestly he didn't care if Zoro thought he had done it, he could take the brunt of Zoro's rage, he didn't think Usopp probably could. Luckily, it didn't look like Zoro had believed him anyway.

"You wanna go, shit cook?" Zoro asked squaring his shoulders.

"Yeah, bring it on, seaweed head." Sanji took a step into the room. They were about two seconds from leaping forward and beating each other to death when Nami sighed loudly.

"Can you two idiots just stop, if you start fighting in here you'll tear the place apart." She walked over and picked up the banana. "Does anyone want this? I think it bruised on this side so I'll just throw it away." She started for the trash can.

"I'll eat it, my dear," Sanji said, lifting his hand and catching it when Nami thew it his way. Zoro gave him a look of disgust as he pealed the banana to reveal a slimy, bruised side.

"You're actually going to eat that?" Zoro asked incredulously. The others were going back to their game. Usopp had at some point come in and innocently taken Zoro's remote.

"Well, I'm not just going to waste it," Sanji said taking a bite.

Zoro continued to glare, the idea of biting into a banana like that made him want to gag, he didn't like bananas in the first place.

"Stop staring at me," Sanji fussed, "It makes me feel uncomfortable while I'm eating such a phallic object. Should I eat it more subductively? Is that what you want?" He took a large bite and smacked his lips unattractively, laughing obnoxiously through his nose.

Zoro glared at him some more then pushed Sanji's cheeks together with his index fingers, making the banana inside them slide around in a gross, squishy way. Then he turned back to the couch.

"You made me lose my seat," he complained.

"Usopp's better than you anyway," Sanji said. It was true, Zoro was really awful at Mario Cart.

"So what? Now what am I supposed to do?"

Sanji shrugged, taking the last bite of the banana, which he had devoured disturbingly fast.

Zoro eyed the banana peal for a moment, "I dare you to take a bite of that," he challenged.

"Really? You can't find something to do so you're going to dare me to eat banana peal?"

"Yep, and it's double dare so you can't back out."

Sanji rolled his eyes, "Alright, fine." He lifted the one part of the peal to his mouth and took a bite. The taste was bitter and made his tongue curl. It took all of his control not to gag or spit it out. Instead he chewed quickly and swallowed. When he got it down he opened his mouth to show that it was gone. He felt slightly sick but he was glad that he got it down smoothly. Zoro, however, looked disappointed.

"Your turn," Sanji said, lifting the peel. Zoro grimaced but took the peel into his hands all the same. He gave the empty peel a sad look, deciding they he had brought this onto himself and took a bite of another part of the peel.

It was positively revolting. Zoro could feel his gag reflex kicking in so he swallowed it whole, rather than chewing. He tried to stifle the noxious feeling that bubbled up inside him.

"I think I win, plant head," Sanji grinned.

Zoro glared at him, "Shut up," he groaned, slumping against the wall. He had forgotten that every time before he thew up his mouth tasted like banana peels. That with the added physical presence of the banana in his mouth was almost too much. He slid down the wall and waited for his stomach to recover while Sanji thew away the peel and joined the others on the couch looking way too happy with himself. Damn him.

From there everyone proceeded to become increasingly drunk. Everyone except Chopper, who refused to drink, and Luffy, who had slipped into a sever food coma much to Chopper's dismay. The remaining four adults started off a drinking contest because they were smart, responsible people.

Usopp was first to tap out, meaning he threw up and then passed out in the bathroom. Chopper spent a solid ten minutes panicking before determining that he would be okay using his epic doctor skills. The other three kept going for a while after that. Nami was second to go, she knew when she was beat and decided to stop before she was forced to stop like Usopp, she was too dignified for that.

Sanji and Zoro didn't go for very long after that. Zoro showed only few signs that he was intoxicated, while Sanji was totally shit faced, really Nami could have beaten him if she had really wanted to but he just didn't know when to stop.

Sanji thought Zoro seemed like less of a douche when he was drunk, or maybe that was just the alcohol affecting his thoughts. Whatever, it didn't matter anyway. Sanji's thoughts were starting to blur into a foggy stream if half formed ideas. Half formed ideas were really the best kind.

"Ah like your friens," Sanji stated, his speech slightly slurred. They were both leaning against the front edge of the couch Luffy was sleeping on. Sanji wasn't quite sure how they ended up there but he supposed that it didn't really matter much anyway.

"Great," Zoro responded, what was he supposed to say to something like that? This made Sanji fall into a fit of laughter. What a comedian.

"Ya know, marimo, sometimes I think you're not so bad, but from now on I'll think back to how you didn't say my food is good and I'll get upset with you again," he rambled, focusing on making his speech understandable.

"You're upset that I didn't say your food is good?" Zoro inquired, what a baby. He was glad that his behavior irritated the cook, that was the goal after all.

"No," Sanji said a little too defensively as he gave Zoro a weak little shove.

"Sorry to disappoint you, shitty cook, but I'm not going to stoke your ego now that I know your some kind of big shot."

"I am a big shot," Sanji mumbled, "A big shot of pure fucking unadulterated awesome. Only Zeff cooks better than me and he's an old man. Fuck that guy." He kicked out his leg a little bit like he was imagining hitting Zeff with it.

"Who's Zeff?" Zoro asked.

"The owner of the Baratie, the place I fucking worked at, duh. Try to keep up, moss head, I don't like waiting for people to catch up," Sanji said in a sing song voice.

"Is he the one you got in a fight with?" Zoro asked, ignoring the blond's taunting.

Sanji looked confused for a second. "I always fight with Zeff, he's just being difficult as usual."

"You always fight with your boss? How have you not been fired?" Zoro suspected it had something to do with the fact that he was such a phenomenal cook. Damn him for being so good at something.

"Because I'm good and I can take a kick to the gut without crying like a big baby," Sanji spat.

"What?" Was being a punching bag part of the criteria for being a cook? That somehow didn't seem right, but what did Zoro know about fine dining?

"I'll kick your ass if I need to," Sanji said with narrowed eyes.

"I'd like to see you try," Zoro scoffed.

"If I weren't drunk off my ass right now I would so kick your ass. Come back when I'm sober so I don't fall on my face."

"I bet you'd fall on your face even if you weren't drunk," Zoro guessed.

"That is where you are wrong, sir, and now I feel it is my manly duty to challenge you to a duel. If I had a glove I would slap you with it or throw it down or whatever but I don't so there. The gauntlet has been thrown down," the bartender said seriously., making a motion of throwing a glove to the floor.

"I warn you, I fight with very sharp swords and I won't hesitate to cut you in half," the swordsman said sticking up his nose and turning away like he was too good to fight the cook.

"Oh yeah, well I don't believe you. I think that somewhere in your fucked up little marimo head you like me and you would be sad if you cut me in half. Plus police and stuff, you wouldn't get away with it." He shrugged. If he did get chopped in half then he hoped that he could come back as a ghost and haunt Zoro for killing him. Make that mother fucker pay big time. He would totally come back as a poltergeist.

"Are you willing to test that theory?"

"Yes," Sanji said with confidence, "at your convenience." Giving a little flourish of his hand and a mock bow, always the gentleman he was.

"We could do battle tomorrow," Zoro suggested. He would love to kick Sanji's ass sooner rather than later while there was still doubt.

"No," Sanji whined, "I'll be hung over as fuck. I want to be on top of it when this shit goes down. And why did you have to say it like that? You make it sound like we're playing battleship."

"What time do you get off work?" Zoro asked after a pause, choosing to ignore that last comment

"Like fucking late."

"Well, I don't want wait until next weekend so what time do you get off?"

"Midnight," Sanji said flicking his hair like a teenage boy with a pocket comb.

"That's fine, I have the keys to a little dojo. Give me your phone, I'll give you the address." He made a hand-it-over motion with his hand.

Sanji handed over his phone, although it was more like he shoved it into Zoro's face, completely ignoring his hand. "Just text it to me, my number's on the screen. So on Monday I'm going to get off of work and head to this mystery dojo to do battle royal with a plant head? Is that right? Sounds pretty fucking dodgy to me."

"It's fine. We will do this," Zoro promised, shaking his clenched fis at the empty air.

Sanji made a face. "I feel like you're asking me out, it's kind of weird because I'm not saying no. I'm not gay, don't listen to what they tell you," the cook warned seriously, his expression souring.

Zoro snorted, "Oh yeah, what will they tell me?"

"That I'm a pretty boy who couldn't snag a girl if he tried," Sanji scowled at the totally false statement.

"Sounds pretty accurate to me," Zoro laughed.

"Shaddup." Sanji gave him a kick to the ankle, or rather tried and sort of just spazzed out. "You don't know me."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure I've got this aspect of you figured out." Every time Sanji spoke with a girl he laid it on waaaaaay to strong. He was either overcompensating for something or he just really sucked with cross gender interaction. Either way it was pretty pathetic.

"Fuck you," he rubbed his face, trying to get rid of the sleepiness. He didn't want to fall asleep yet, there was still so much to do. Beside the tv, which was directly in front of them, there was a window threw which he could see a few twinkling stars and the bottom of the moon.

Sanji tilted his head to the right, trying to see more of the dark sky. He also just so happened to tilt his head just right so that he now had his head resting against Zoro's shoulder. He didn't even notice until Zoro said something, he was too focused and too drunk.

"What the hell are you doing?" The marimo asked gruffly, although he wasn't shoving the blond away, which seemed contradictory to his tone.

"Trying to see the stars," Sanji responded, "You can't see them in the city very well. It's not much better here. It's kind of sad," he sighed.

"Stop leaning in me," Zoro insisted but this only made Sanji lean more heavily against him. He was too lazy to move the pest so he just made an irritated sound and leaned his head back onto a pillow behind his head.

Sanji was content to ignore Zoro's irritation and fixate himself on the medium sizes window, through which he was staring. He liked looking at the open sky, it made him feel like he was staring into the faces of the gods. Like it wasn't so bad if they were watching him as long as he was watching them as well. He had gone out west once and he saw more stars out there than he had ever seen before. It felt even more foreign when they were driving through the Badlands. Strange sedimentary formations rose ominously from the ground making the land look alien and weird.

He wished he could go back there. He had been eight at the time and he was out with Zeff for some conference. It didn't matter how fantastic the landscape was, all he wanted to do was gaze at the stars as the moon rose and fell. Waxed and wained.

Maybe he didn't really want to go back there. Maybe he just wanted to go back to that age. He was still fairly innocent then and he didn't understand how the universe worked, really he still didn't but at least then it was acceptable to behave childishly about things. It wasn't so much acceptable as expected. Now it was expected for him to deal with things like a grown up, but that was hard and not a lot of fun.

Sanji didn't realized he had slipped into a daze until he heard along sigh from Zoro. It appeared as though Zoro had fallen asleep. Now he was the only one still awake. Sleep sounded like a pretty good idea actually, logically at least. Sanji really didn't like sleeping very much. He always felt like it was a waste of time to spend half of your life sleeping. He also did not like dreaming. His dreams usually weren't nightmares per se, but they were usually unnerving somehow. Then he would wake up feeling unsettled. Plus, he never felt like he got enough sleep no matter how long he was unconscious.

Sanji wondered what Zoro was dreaming about now, or even if he had lapsed into REM sleep yet, allowing the dreams to come. He didn't know how long that took. He still had his head resting against the swordsman's shoulder. He felt too content to move, looking up at the stars and not having to crane his neck. Some part of him knew that he should probably move but the larger part didn't care.

After a few more minutes of gazing at the window and listening to even breathing Sanji felt his eyelids start to droop. The world around him started to blur together as he tried to blink himself awake to no avail. Dammit, if he fell asleep like this it would be awkward in the morning. He tried to move his body but found the action impossible. He fought off sleep for only a few moments more before being dragged down by his sleep deprived brain.

XxxX

When Sanji woke up his head was throbbing and he was very uncomfortable. It took a moment for him to recognize that he was in Luffy's apartment, staring at a tv remote that was lying on the floor. It took only a few more seconds for him to realize that he was half slumped on Zoro making him feel warm on one side and cold on the other, fuck the guy was warm but man was Sanji's neck stiff, not exactly the most comfortable position. He was half tempted to just go back to sleep because he reeeeeeeally didn't want to get up but it would be an awkward place to be when they were both wake, to be sure and Sanji wanted to get out of it as smoothly as possible without detection. The awkward own out over the need for sleep, for once.

Moving very slowly Sanji lifted his head from Zoro's shoulder. It was more like peeling it off really, his face probably had an imprint of the fabric of Zoro's shirt on it. As he tried to shift away Zoro began to stir. When Sanji raised his line of sight to look at him he realized that his eyes were open. Soooo awkward, fuck.

Apparently their brains were wired to have different reactions because instead of pretending it didn't happen, like Sanji wanted to, and trying to get out of it Zoro shoved Sanji away from himself. As Sanji tried to remain upright one of his hands managed to slap Luffy in the face as he was sleeping on the couch behind them. This caused the man to wake with a shout which woke Chopper, who was curled up on a chair.

As soon as he was awake Luffy began shouting about wanting breakfast.

"Sanji, make food I'm starving," he whined loudly enough to make Sanji's head throb as he tried picking himself up off the ground, glaring at Zoro.

Zoro just flipped him off and stood up, walking toward the kitchen.

Sanji, who was feeling disgruntled from the sudden shove and loud shouting so soon after waking up, stumbled to his feet and brushed off his now wrinkled shirt. Before he could respond a shoe flew from a doorway connecting in the middle of Luffy's forehead with a, "Shut the hell up!" From Nami.

Sanji chose to ignore this event as he made his way to the kitchen to check the fridge, where Zoro was pouring himself some orange juice. Sanji stuck his tongue out at him and opened the fridge doors. There wasn't a huge amount of useful food but there was a ton of bacon and a large amount of eggs so at least he had something to work with.

Everyone seemed to materialize at the kitchen table as the smell of food wafted through the apartment in all a variety of different moods. Ussop, of course, looked like death, Nami looked more irritated than normal, Chopper looked fine, and Zoro looked very, very unhappy. Ungrateful bastard, he should feel blessed to wake up to Sanji's gorgeous face.

Sanji swiftly served the table with the grace and ease that came from experience. Of course everyone loved the food even those who wouldn't admit it. Zoro.

The group parted ways after that, things to do, people to see, that sort of thing. Sanji didn't have anything to do that day, just sit around and try not to think until he fell asleep.

XxxX

A/N: Bananas are awful. I taste them every time before I puke.

And I just have to say RIP Leonard Nemoy, Spock is my superhero.

I had to update on Sanji's birthday, I just had to. But I sooooo hate waiting to update.

Thanks.


	4. Do Me A Favor

Do me a favour, break my nose!  
Do me a favour, tell me to go away!  
Do me a favour, stop asking questions!

-"Do Me A Favor" Arctic Monkeys

XxxX

Monday night Sanji was in his usual state of absent mindedness. He even poured Zoro a drink before he even realized that he was there. The phrase that brought him back into awareness was: "I'm going to beat you into the dirt, shit cook."

"The fuck you are," Sanji retorted automatically, although he wasn't sure what this plant head was even talking about. At least he wasn't going to be weird about waking up together. Not that it was too weird, only a little weird and defiantly not worth thinking about a lot. It just sounded weird when it was worded that way. Nope, ignore that whole train of thought, suppress it at all. Aaaaand done.

"I guess we'll see, won't we?" Zoro said with a dangerous smirk.

Sanji squinted his eyes like he was trying very hard to remember something, "Wait, I challenged you to a duel, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did and I take these challenges very seriously," Zoro nodded.

"Well, good because I'm not backing out. So how are we doing this? I guess I'll just go from work but what are you going to do for the next, like, six hours?"

"Take a nap, get my katanas, and get over there." He shrugged, there wasn't much else for him to do after all.

Sanji frowned slightly. "You better not ditch me, if you ditch me I'll be pissed, I'll poison you the next time you come in here." It was a serious threat and some little part of Sanji was worried about being stood up like a chump. This little part was then squashed down, also like a chump.

"I'll keep that in mind but I'll get there early to open the place just so you don't worry your delicate little head," Zoro assured flashing a condescending smile.

Sanji ignored the mocking tone and chose to listen only to his words. "Good. And how, may I ask, do you have the power to open this place? Because I'd really rather not break in." Braking into a dojo was not something he wanted to be arrested for, thank you very much.

"Do I look like some kind of punk to or something?" Zoro asked in all his green haired, ear ring wearing, punkish glory.

Sanji gave him an unimpressed look, "You really want me to answer that?"

"Your lack of faith is insulting, luckily I don't need it. The guy who pretty much raised me owns the place, so I kind of grew up there," Zoro sighed, it was pretty convenient for him to show up and train there. Sometimes he would teach classes there too, when he had the time. He was shockingly good with kids.

"Pretty much raised you?" Sanji lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah, pretty much." It didn't seem fair to share his childhood when Sanji wouldn't share his, not that he particularly cared. Because he didn't.

"Fine, I get it, whatever," Sanji pouted, he was also convinced that he didn't care about Zoro's childhood. It was good to know that they were both in a state if uncaring toward each other. Not that either of them knew it.

"So, Luffy likes you, and you know what that means?" Zoro asked, shifting the conversation in a different direction.

"No, what?" Sanji asked, reluctantly.

"It means he's going to want to hang out with you," Zoro said like it was totally obvious. It kind of was obvious but Sanji was expecting something else for some reason. The way he said it sounded like it would be something profound or something.

"Well, good, because I don't really have many friends around here yet." He didn't have many friends in general, let alone in this area but everyone he had met seemed okay to him thus far.

"Yeah, you seemed awkward around everyone at first," Zoro said without thinking. Damn, that made it sound like he had been paying attention, which he totally hadn't been doing at all. And paying attention was just a step away from starting to care.

"I don't get out often for that sort of thing," the cook said, pulling a face.

"Are you saying that you have no friends?" Zoro asked, although he already knew that no one could put up with his bitchyness. He just wanted to rub salt in the open wound because he was a fucking dick.

"No, I'm saying that I spent a lot of time at work and therefore I have little time for such things," Sanji said evenly.

"Things like having friends?"

"Yeah, maybe a little bit. Shut up, you're just trying to be mean!" he huffed, scratching at the back of his neck.

"Well, with Luffy you are probably going to be overloaded with friendship, so prepare yourself." Luffy's friendship was a force that could make the earth spin backwards or destroy any small planet. It would be overwhelming to a friendship noob.

"Thanks for the warning, loser," Sanji smiled as he headed off to clean up the glass from a cup some idiot had dropped, shattering it to pieces. Broken glass was the worst. You could never tell if you had cleaned it all the way up, then you end up with shards of glass stuck in your foot. Once Sanji had walked around for two days with a thin shard of glass stuck in the calloused skin near his pinky toe after he dropped a box of glass Christmas ornaments for the restaurant on the floor. He hadn't even noticed for a while but when he noticed a slight pain he looked and saw a glimmer in a cut. When he pulled the shard out with a pair of tweezers it was actually pretty fucking big and painful looking.

Shaking these thoughts aside, Sanji cleared up the glass, helped some other customers, and returned to Zoro again.

Not long after that Zoro finished off his drink and stood. "Right, see you after midnight then?"

"After midnight," Sanji agreed, although this still felt uncomfortably like a weird date to him. Whatever, if anything bad happened he could always repress it. He was pretty good at repressing things. He cringed at his own thoughts, damn that sounded depressing and sketchy as fuck.

The hours he spent working seemed to pass more slowly than usual. He was reluctant to say he was excited for this, but he was. But he hadn't had a good fight since he'd moved here and that seemed far too long ago. Not that he expected Zoro to be good because that would be putting faith in him, but he didn't think he would be total shit. When the time finally arrived for him to leave he walked smoothly and quickly out the door after a quick goodbye to Nami. He moved not too quickly, just quickly enough.

He double checked the address on his phone and texted Zoro that he was coming. The place was not very far away, within walking distance, although it was probably a fifteen minute walk. Halfway there Zoro texted back that he was opening the place so the lights would be on when he got there.

And they were, rather bright through the large display window. Sanji loved it when martial arts places like this had big open displays, when kids took classes there they looked like adorable little soldiers or something. It was half disturbing and half super cute.

Sanji quickly pushed open the door, trying to escape the biting cold. Inside it was warmer but not nearly warm enough. As soon as he stepped inside Zoro walked in from the back, swords in hand.

"Hi," Sanji greeted, chirpily. He was kind of excited about this and he couldn't completely suppress his good mood just for the sake of appearances.

"Hi," Zoro said back, sounding rather awkward.

Sanji let out an uncomfortable bubble of laughter, but quickly tried to halt his actions although that just made it harder to control. Like laughing at a funeral. "Sorry, you just looked so uncomfortable."

"Shut up, it's my face, I can't help it," Zoro grumbled, scuffing his foot against the matted floor.

"Whatever, so how are we going to do this?" Sanji asked, hands on hips.

Zoro drew one sword but left the other two within reach, "Get ready, we'll see how long you last."

Sanji discarded his coat and other belongings, "Oh ho, those are brave words for someone about to get their ass kicked. I'm insulted that you don't even think I'm worth two swords when you can apparently defy logic and use three."

"I have no way of know if your all talk so you should be glad I'm so merciful." He did have a point there.

"But you're still going to use a real sword? Not a practice one so I guess I'm not being totally underestimated," Sanji smirked ask Zoro glared at him, unable to deny the point he had made.

The two tensed as they drew closer together, waiting for that first move to be made. Zoro let Sanji make that initial strike. The kick was solid and held more power than he had anticipated. He was thrown off balance slightly and nearly didn't recover before the second strike came. After that he was more wary. The kicks came in quick succession and Zoro found that he had to exert a large amount of effort to block them. Defiantly worth two swords but he held out with one as long as he could easily manage, just to make Sanji angry.

He grabbed his second sword, much better, he could go on the offensive now. Sanji blocked or dodged his every move. Little bastard was flexible. As the fight proceeded and they grew tired, both managed to land a few good hits. Nothing fatal, of course, they didn't want to have to call in an ambulance or anything; that would he such a pain in the ass. But they would both have some colorful bruises tomorrow for sure. Sanji more so than Zoro because he bruised more easily. It always looked like someone was whacking in him the shins because he would lean them against the edge of his desk at home and would then develope ugly bruises.

When Sanji kicked Zoro across the floor onto the mat the fight ended. Well, he didn't just kick him. Zoro had landed a hard hit to the gut and Sanji had reflexively kicked out with more force than intended. They both collapsed, chests heaving burning cold air like beached fish.

"That all you've got, shitty swordsman?" Sanji managed to gasp out. "How am I still not worth three swords?" He was moderately insulted.

"I only Wado for serious fights," Zoro said, looking at his prized white katana where it rested against the wall.

"Why, is it your favorite or something?" Sanji guessed, following his gaze.

"Something like that, yeah," he replied thoughtfully.

They were quiet for a moment. Sanji was flopped down on his back so that he was staring at the end of the room. He didn't notice at first but he was actually staring at a collection of framed photos, some of which held a familiar face. The blond rolled over onto his stomach and army crawled over to get a closer look. Sure enough there were quite a few pictures of Zoro at various ages winning at an assortment of places. Also scattered among the pictures there were those of an older man, who he assumed to be the guy who sort of raised Zoro, and a little girl with dark hair but all those pictures were old. There were one or two of both Zoro and the girl together and neither of them looked happy to be sharing the same space.

Zoro, on the other side of the room noticed his interest and called over to him. "What are you looking at?"

"Who's this girl?" Sanji said, not turning from the photos.

Slightly confused, Zoro got up to see what exactly the moron was referring to. He paused at the images on the wall, they were rather like a monument of his progression in his goal and a reminder of why he was on his mission.

"This girl," Sanji said as he felt Zoro near, pointing to the girl in the picture.

Zoro breathed a sigh, "Her name was Kuina."

"Was?" Sanji felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, he got the impression things were about to get depressing. Why did everything always have to be so sad? What did life have against happiness.

"Yeah, she died when I was eleven, fell down the stairs and broke her neck." He spoke calmly and bluntly, it happened a long time ago and while it still upsetting it was tolerable in a normal sort of way after all this time.

Sanji cringed at the bluntness of the statement. "I'm guessing she was important?"

"Yeah," he let out a dry laugh, "She's the reason I want to be the best."

"And how is that?" Sanji turned to looks at the swordsman.

"You asked a lot of questions, you know that?" asked Zoro, meeting Sanji's eyes with an amused expression on his face.

"Yeah, and I'll keep asking until you tell me the answers," the blond rolled his eyes impatiently.

Zoro's face pinched in irritation but he kept talking anyway, "She used to kick my ass every time I challenged her and we promised each other we would be the greatest sword fighters in the world. Then she died and I carry her sword with me." He looked over at his white katana again, her white katana. "I will become the best or die trying," he swore, sounding one hundred percent confident in his abilities.

"Always keep your promises, eh?" Sanji smiled at that. He got the Zoro was the type of person who would keep a promise come hell or high waters.

Zoro nodded, "Always."

"Yeah, you seem that type. Well, I'm positive you'll end up doing one of those things, so I guess I wish you the best of luck on that. And I hope that you do that first thing and not the second." Sanji gave him a half smile, he hoped that Zoro became the greatest swordsman. Such a lofty goal seemed impossible but Zoro was determined and crazy, so Sanji felt he had a chance.

"Hey, don't back out of this conversation yet," Zoro smirked in amusement, "I just shared something really personal now it's your turn." A fair trade off.

"What do you want to know?" Sanji looked once again very uncomfortable, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"It doesn't have to be your deepest darkest secret or anything," Zoro assured, "Just, I don't know, something. I don't know, just pick something."

Sanji's eyes traveled in a large loop as he tried to search for something to say. "Uh, Zeff, the guy who I used to work for, is my adopted father," Sanji offered.

That didn't quite seem personal enough, so Zoro decided he would chance opening a can of worms. "Why were you adopted? I mean, why were you put up for adoption, not why did someone bother to adopt you. You don't seem so horrible that I don't understand why you would be adopted. It's that other thing I said," he babbled. Get a grip, man, you are better than this.

"I feel like this is more personal than what you shared," Sanji huffed, he was biting his lip now.

"Fine," Zoro whined, time to share something more personal then, "My parents didn't really give a shit about me so I ran around in the streets until I found this place and Koshiro let me train here. This kind of became my real home." Zoro crossed his arms and looked away.

"Are they still out there?" Sanji asked, "Your parents, I mean."

"Yeah, I mean, I haven't heard that either of them died so I'm guessing that they are, but I haven't talked to them in a very long time. And I don't plan on it." It had been years and years, to be correct. They refused to give custody to Koshiro, so Zoro just stayed at his house anyway from them because it was better than that shit hole he called home. They had moved away about five years ago, he heard from some friend of theirs and he was glad to know they were gone.

"There, now we're good. Why are you so against sharing things about yourself?" Equivalent exchange, bitch.

"Why do you want to know?" Sanji said defensively.

"Because you won't tell me. Now go on and tell me," the swordsman demanded, this was becoming frustrating.

"Ugh, fine," Sanji gave it, Zoro had honestly expected more resistance, "If you really want to know. So when I was like five or something I sort of turned up in the middle of nowhere."

"You what?" Zoro's brows knitted together in confusion.

"I don't really remember it but apparently some family found me while they were out on a camping trip. I didn't remember were I had come from or how I got there. I could remember easy things, like my first name or birthday or common knowledge things for kids my age but nothing to identify myself right out. The police couldn't find my parents or any records of where I had come from. So yeah, that's how I became an orphan."

"How could you not remember anything?" It seemed very off, maybe the blond was brain damaged after all.

"I don't know, they gave me like a full medical exam but I didn't have any brain injuries or anything. Although, apparently when they were looking me over I was screaming and struggling so much they had to sedate me. That I remember. Fuck, I hate doctors." He shuddered like he could feel their gloved hands holding his limbs down. "Then I had to go through living in an orphanage for a while. Zeff used to volunteer there and I always tried to help out in the kitchen and that's how we met. Then there were some incidents with the other kids and Zeff took pity on me and decided to adopt me."

"I doubt he adopted you just because he felt bad for you," Zoro said looking unconvinced.

"I guess not, he wouldn't feel bad for me because he's a heartless bastard," he huffed, "But yeah, that's my weird childhood," he smiled.

"Dude, that's fucking bazaar," Zoro said honestly.

"Yeah, I know. I just wish I could remember..." He trailed off, his fingers were digging deeply into the back of his neck, breaking the skin. Sanji didn't seem to notice, although his expression was pinched. A strained reaction, interesting.

The swordsman grabbed Sanji's wrist in order to stop him from further injuring himself. The blond jumped slightly when he was touched.

"Why, do you do that?" Zoro asked, nodding to his hand.

"I don't know, I just do. It's a habit. It comes with repressed memories and all that jazz, you know?" At least that's what the therapist said.

"I'll take your word for it," Zoro said, digesting this new information, mentally filing it away under the category of 'shit cook'. Sanji looked at his phone for the time; 1:50 AM. It was late and Zoro had to work tomorrow.

"It's late," the blond said, "We should probably get going." He didn't really want to go, he was enjoying Zoro's company, even though he was asking hard questions. He just wanted to give Zoro an excuse to get away from him.

"You're probably right," Zoro sighed, running a hand through his hair. He didn't really want to go either but he did need his sleep.

"I'm always right, marimo." An impish grin stole it's way across the chef's face.

"Shut up," the Japanese man shoved him as he stood up next to Zoro.

"We should do this again. Maybe not so late next time." A valid suggestion.

"Yeah," Zoro agreed, "You doing anything Saturday?"

"Nope, are you?"

"Why would I ask you if you were doing anything if I were doing something?"

"Good point. So, Saturday then?" he asked hopefully.

"Saturday." Zoro stuck out his hand, he felt like it was something they should shake hands on for some reason.

"It's a date," Sanji said as he shook said hand. Then with the other hand he smacked himself in the head, back peddling, "Wait, back up, that's not what I meant. Just ignore me, it's late and I am exhausted."

"Good deal, I was planning on ignoring you anyway." His hand was released and they started walking their separate ways.

Sanji flipped him off before grabbing his things and heading toward the exit. "See ya tomorrow, marimo," he waved before walking out the door, having heard Zoro's grunt of acknowledgment.

XxxX

The next day Sanji stood behind the bar, resting his elbow on the counter. He was holding a thrilling conversation with an older gentleman who was apparently a dirt scientist, which sounded like possibly the most boring job ever.

He was glad when Zoro walked in and sat down as an excuse to get out of that inthralling one way discussion. He lifted the sake he had waiting onto the counter top.

"Sore, marimo?" He asked, sliding over the cup.

"No," he said indignantly, "But I think I have a shoe print bruise on my chest."

Sanji snickered, "At least it doesn't look like someone beat you with a whipping stick like a school child from the eighteen hundreds."

"I don't think they beat kids like that."

"It was close enough. Living in the eighteen hundreds would fucking suck."

"Yeah, pretty much the only things I know about the eighteen hundreds comes from Little House on the Prairie," Zoro said, not thinking about what he was admitting to.

"Okay, one, that is pathetic; lots of stuff happened in the eighteen hundreds. Two, I can't believe you either read or watched Little House on the Prairie," he laughed.

"Shut your stupid face, my teacher fucking read it to my class in fifth grade and then I had to watch the show in a history class."

"And you didn't retain any of that information from that class other than what Laura Ingles-Wilder taught you?"

"Apparently not," Zoro shrugged.

"I guess at least you remembered something."

"Yeah, but like imagine going to the doctor and having to explain bruises like that."

"I would just tell the truth, it wouldn't be that difficult. But I guess it would be funnier to let them wonder about it or be really awkward about it." Sanji smiled at the thought.

"Yeah, now imagine having hemophilia."

"Hemophilia is a real mood killer, why did you have to bring it up?"

"Because I was thinking about bruises."

"I think vampires would probably like hemophiliacs. It would make their job easier."

Zoro shook his head, "A good vampire keeps their pray alive to feed on again later."

"You know what I hate about movie vampires?"

"What?"

"When they don't have fangs until they go to bite someone and then somehow their teeth magically become pointed and long. It just bothers me," Sanji huffed.

"But they would tear up the insides of their mouth if they had big fangs all the time."

"When I was little I always wanted to be a vampire and have vampire fangs," Sanji sighed

"That's a little weird."

"Yeah, I used to try wiggling my canine teeth to make them come out so I could have grown up vampire teeth. But they were never loose."

"Well, you have adult teeth now, so they must have gotten loose at some point," Zoro said, staring at Sanji's mouth as he ran his tongue over his teeth.

"Actually, no. They never got loose. I had all my canine teeth pulled by the oral surgeon."

"Why?"

"Because my teeth all came in late. I don't think I lost any until third grade. I lost my last one in eighth grade, and between then I had ten teeth pulled because they weren't getting loose, and my gums were lasered to pull my incisors down, and I still have one baby tooth because there was never a tooth under it," Sanji smiled, flashing his lovely adult teeth.

Zoro wrinkled his nose. "That sounds awful, but my dental history is debatably worse. When I was in third grade I got rushed off to the hospital because one of my molars had a cavity that became abscesses and my face swelled up so badly that I couldn't open my eye on that side of my face."

"That sounds really fucking painful. I've never even had a cavity."

"I don't actually remember it hurting but I had a fever and Kushiro had to take me to the hospital and there was this huge thing with my parents being total assholes but they pulled the tooth before the infection spread to my brain. That was good. And I looked up abscessed teeth on google images once and my face was more swollen and less disgusting than every picture there."

"You could have died like that one ancient Egyptian queen. Fuck, can't remember her name. Whatever, like her."

"Hatshepsut," Sanji recalled, "She was like fifty, with diabetes, and bone cancer but the abscess killed her."

"Yeah, anyway, I had this other tooth that had a cavity so long that the nerve died. That one I remember hurting. I was up on one of the islands and they didn't have any painkillers so I was miserable. They had to pull that one too and they put a metal cap on the tooth next to it. Thankfully, they were both molars and baby teeth so there is no evidence."

"What, you didn't want to be one of those people with really disgusting teeth?"

"No, I can't stand disgusting teeth. Don't ever look them up on the internet, it will make you want to puke."

"Why the hell would anyone look that up anyway?"

"Curiosity is a terrifying force."

Sanji laughed, "Right, well the dentist and orthodontist both hated me, I was a terrible patient and I felt really bad about it every time I came in."

"Hang on, you had braces?"

"Yeah, I looked like a total dork, as I'm sure you would imagine."

Zoro grinned, "My teeth were so awesome and straight that I didn't need them. Are they as painful as everyone says?"

"Actually, mine didn't hurt that badly. Apparently I was lucky, and I have a higher threshold for pain. I didn't have to have like a pallet expander or anything though."

"What did your teeth look like before the braces?"

"Uh, the bottom was all fucked up and I had a tiny gap between my teeth. Not like a really obnoxious one you can't stop staring at, just barely noticeable," Sanji assured.

"I'm always going to imagine you with a massive gap in your teeth now," Zoro grinned

"No! It wasn't even a big gap, don't fucking do that!" Sanji put a hand over his mouth like he could stop Zoro from picturing it.

"It could be worse. I've seen pictures of Luffy as a little kid. He used to suck his right ring finger only and it totally fucked up his mouth. They like morphed around the shape of his finger and it looked like one of the posters of bad teeth you see in the dentist's office."

"Did his adult teeth just come in normal then? Because they look fine now," Sanji asked in surprise.

"No, he had to have a fuck ton of dental work done. I think he had braces in middle school and then again in high school. Plus, he had to crank a pallet expander. And that is why you don't let your kids suck their fingers until they are in second grade and have calluses on their fingers."

"That's so weird, seriously. Ugh, talking about this just makes me want to brush my teeth. I have dreams where my teeth get knocked out sometimes."

"Are they nightmares?"

"Not really. In the dream it freaks me out but I'm fine because I know that I can just get it fixed."

"That's very rational for a dream."

"Yes, yes it is. I am a very rational person."

Zoro snorted. "When I look at you I don't really think 'rational person'."

"And what do you think, might I ask?" Sanji asked indignantly.

"I usually think 'wow, look at this dork trying to be cool. Shut up and pour me some alcohol'." Zoro grinned.

"Well, when I look at you I usually think 'dick'," he paused for a second, "I mean, as in 'you are such a dick' not as in I think about your genitalia when your talking to me. Although I guess now that I'm saying that I am also thinking it so... That's just- I should stop," he shut himself up.

Zoro had his face in his hand, "Oh god, you just made that way more uncomfortable than it had to be."

Sanji rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah, I'm really sorry. Sometimes I can't filter myself when I really should."

"I think we all do that sometimes. You just take it that extra step that takes a special kind of talent that no one in the universe wants."

"I feel like it should be down sort of disease. Now I want to spread it around the world. I bet it spreads like an STD," the blond decided.

"And I will be going now," Zoro said, standing up and paying.

Sanji pouted slightly, "Goodbye, you fucking weirdo."

"I think you'll find that you are actually the fucking weirdo." He turned and walked out so as not to get dragged down by another amazingly stupid conversation about who the fuck knows what with the shit cook.

XxxX

A/N: Ha ha, Zoro's not the only one with lofty goals, ha ha *cries deeply* I hate everything.

I've been to Laura Ingles-Wilder's house in Desmet South Dakota, I liked it there but it was very flat. You know, because it was on like a prairie. Ignore me, I'm stupid

Thanks.


	5. Old Yellow Bricks

You're such a fugitive  
But you don't know what you're running from  
You can't kid us  
And you couldn't trick anyone  
Houdini, love, you don't know what you're running away from

-"Old Yellow Bricks" Artic Monkeys

XxxX

That Saturday they planned to fight while Koshiro was taking a break in between classes. Sanji made sure to arrive slightly late so he would be less likely to have to explain why he was there. As luck would have it he and Zoro actually turned up at the exact same time. When they walked in the door there was still a man inside, he looked up as they entered. He was tall and thin with his long black hair pulled back in a neat ponytail, circular glasses rested on the bridge of his nose.

"Ah, Zoro," he smiled upon recognizing one of his visitors.

Zoro raised a hand in greeting. "We won't bother you," he promised, "We just needed a place to fight."

"It's no bother," Koshiro assured, "It is always nice to see you fighting with friends." he turned his gaze to Sanji, "You must be very good to compete with Zoro-kun. You may call me Koshiro," he said tipping his head in acknowledgment to the blond.

"Sanji," Sanji said, nodding back.

Koshiro returned his gaze to Zoro again, "I was just leaving for lunch anyway, I'll leave you two alone."

Zoro nodded and unsheathed two swords. He didn't particularly want an audience right now. They waited until Koshiro left to start.

They fought with agility and ferocity but also in a strangely calculated way. This was probably due to the face that they were both so focused. This pointed focus seemed to work like constructive interference. It took both of their loud strength and amplified it into something beautifully destructive.

While they were fighting Zoro managed to whack Sanji in the chin with the hilt of one of his swords. Sanji stepped back with a sharp intake of breath. Unfortunately for him he somehow managed to lose his balance and fall on his ass. He was down, he had lost. Fuck.

Sanji glared at the floor angrily as he tried to catch his breath. Zoro's hand appeared in his line of vision and he reluctantly took it. His head swam slightly as he was suddenly on his feet. He rubbed his chin tenderly, trying to vanquish the resonating pain.

"You alright?" Zoro asked in amusement.

"I'm fine, asshole. I'm just upset because now I'm going to have a stupid bruise in my chin."

"Just use a little make up, I'm sure you have some somewhere."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Zoro said innocently.

Sanji sighed and he looked over toward his stuff, trying to read the time with x-ray powers that he didn't have. As he was looking he noticed the people watching from the front window. At some point a small group of people had gathered outside, watching them fight. At least some of them were there for the next class because there were kids in uniform among the adults.

Zoro also noticed them and thought that he should probably let them in. Koshiro would be back soon and it really wouldn't be nice to leave them out in the cold like that.

"I think we should call it a day, cook," Zoro said approaching the door.

Sanji didn't say anything, he just watched as Zoro let the people inside. The kids dropped off their stuff on one side of the room and went to sit in the middle of the floor, looking to Zoro expectantly.

"Koshiro-sensi won't be back for a few minutes so you don't have to get ready yet," Zoro said in his best teacher voice. He would start the class but less than half the class was there so it would be pointless.

One of the girls raised her hand, "Can we watch you fight again?" She asked with a grin. She hadn't waited to be called on but Zoro wasn't about to punish her for that. He never raised his hand to talk in school and her suggestion wasn't bad either. He didn't really want to quit yet anyway.

"Hey, cook," Zoro called over to the blond, who was doing something with his phone over by his stuff. "This little girl is giving us a chance to show off. What do you say?"

Sanji scoffed then smirked, "You know I can't say no to a little lady."

"Alright then, get over here and we can show them how it's done."

Sanji put his phone away and walked toward Zoro and the front of the class. They had a more limited about of space now with all the kids but there was still room to maneuver.

Zoro sheathed his swords and got two training swords from the closet because he didn't really want to go swinging around swords with a bunch if little kids in the room.

They two of them squared up, ready to leap into action. The kids and remaining parents were silent, aside from those annoying people who just can't shut the fuck up no matter how hard you try.

Zoro was the first one to attack this time. He made a quick swim with his right sword, aiming for the ribs but Sanji bent over totally backward to avoid it. One back walkover later and Sanji had aimed a kick at his left side. Show off. It was actually kind of funny how Sanji tried to be as show offy as possible for the kids leading the fight to be mostly fought on his hands. Sanji had a feeling that in elementary school Sanji was that one weird guy who could do the splits and did gymnastics stuff at recess.

Zoro blocked and they continued to exchange blows until Koshiro cleared his throat. Obviously they didn't know it was him at first but at the sound their eyes briefly snapped over to see the older man over by the door looking rather amused. They halted their actions both suddenly feeling rather embarrassed at their flashiness.

"Well, as interesting as I'm sure that was, I'm afraid I'll have to be starting now," the Japanese man said with a smile at the kids as they all made sounds of disagreement.

The other two adults made their way over to their things, putting them together quickly.

"Well, class, aren't you going to thank Zoro-kun and Sanji-kun for demonstrating for you?" Koshiro asked kindly.

There was a chorus of "Thank You"s as the two waved their goodbye and departed out into the world.

After this day Saturday fights became a thing to look forward to.

One Saturday the two met in Koshiro's dojo for their usual fight. It was rather late, as they had to wait for all the daily classes to be over. Koshiro himself had left only ten minutes ago. When Zoro saw Sanji walking up to the door the blond was holding his head like he was in pain, it maybe he just thinking too hard; it was difficult to tell. Most likely he had a headache. The blond always seemed to be having headaches, how sever they were Zoro had no way of telling but they didn't look like fun.

"Headache?" Zoro asked as Sanji pushed through the door.

Sanji nodded in return, his hand leaving his head. "It's not bad, it was worse earlier." He was lying. Over the course of the day his head became increasingly painful. He had spent most of the day curled up in his dark apartment desperately trying to sleep it off. It seemed that he always had a headache or a migraine, he could hardly remember what it was like to have a pain free skull. Any normal person would probably have called off this meeting but Sanji wanted to come. What else did he have to look forward to during the week? Plus, he could fake a calm, pain free expression when he need to. He was a people's person and to be a people's person one must be a good actor.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" Zoro asked as they prepared for battle.

Sanji scoffed, "Of course I'm sure. I could beat you with half my brain let alone a shitty little headache." And that was that. They did their usual fancy dance of kicks, hits, swings, and misses. Zoro seemed to doing better this fight, which Sanji blamed on the headache. They fought for maybe fifteen minutes before blood began to drip onto the smooth flooring.

Neither noticed at first because they were so absorbed in their task, then Zoro noticed some specks of blood on Sanji's nice blue shirt. His first thought was that he'd landed a hit with a sharp end of his katana but quickly discarded the thought. He would know if that would have happened. He wasn't quite sure if he should stop and figure out were the blood had come from or just keep going. So he chose to give Sanji an opening for a kick, then tossed one of his katanas in favor of grabbing the blond's leg and yanking him forward to throw off his balance.

Sanji's hands landed on his shoulders as he came to a jarring halt. He looked up at Zoro, slightly confused as to why he had brought them to a stop.

"You're bleeding," Zoro said, he could now see the blood dripping form Sanji's nose at a steady rate. The blue eyed man lifted a hand to his nose, trying to feel the blood flow. He was never very fast to recognize that his nose was bleeding. His fingers came away red.

Zoro released his leg and went to grab some paper towels. When he returned Sanji was holding his nose as blood dripped though his fingers. The flow seemed to have increased in the small about of time Zoro had been gone. Quickly, he handed over the paper towels, which soon blossomed with bright red stains. It seemed to Zoro that he was bleeding too much.

"Are you alright?" Zoro asked, he didn't like the blood fountaining and he didn't like being worried.

Sanji nodded behind his mask of towels. "Fine, I used to get nosebleeds worse than this when I was little." His voice came out funny now that he was covering his nose up. Still it seemed that the blood was seeping farther up the paper towel.

"How long does it usually take to stop?" Zoro asked eyeing the bloody towel.

"Depends," Sanji shrugged.

"Do you always bleed so much?"

"Sometimes. Now it will stop faster if I don't talk, so stop asking me questions," Sanji scolded.

Zoro nodded. He turned his attention to the state of the paper towels. Handing over more when they were needed.

Sanji was none too happy with this turn of events. He hadn't had a nosebleed this bad since he was a teenager, although he'd had worse. He'd never actually been taken to the hospital for blood loss but there were a few times that he nearly was and managed to talk his way out of it or maybe he just willed the bleeding stop by force. He hated everything about nosebleeds; the taste, the feeling of blood running down the back of his throat, holding tissues to his face, the clotting, being a spectacle to those around him. It was all horrible.

It took about ten minutes to stop the bleeding. Sanji hesitantly removed the paper towels from his face. No bleeding, good, very good.

"I think it's over," Sanji said, sighing very carefully.

"Good." He sounded relieved, his eyes traced the bartender's slightly blood tinged face. "You used to get these a lot?"

"Yeah, it was awful, especially when I didn't know my nose was bleeding and I would like sneeze. Have you ever sneezed with a bloody nose? It is a gory mess, let me tell you. Blood everywhere." He shook his head thinking about it.

Zoro wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Well, at least now it's stopped now."

"Yeah, but I ruined this shirt and I probably have a blood stained face."

"You do look like you've just bitten a chunk out of someone or something. You will be getting some weird looks from people on the way home."

"Yeah, that's for sure. At least they won't bother me." Sanji was suddenly struck by the sudden desire to invite Zoro home with him. For whatever reason he felt the urge to cook for him. Maybe he just didn't want to walk home alone, or maybe he was hungry or something even though his stomach was filled with nose blood, he wasn't sure but he really wanted to ask.

Zoro began gathering his things to go and Sanji did the same. Should he ask? It would be too weird to ask, wouldn't it? It was late and it would just be awkward. Right, he wouldn't ask.

He stopped and turned to Zoro when he reached the door. "Night, moss head," he said quietly.

Zoro turned his direction. "Later." He raised his hand in farewell.

Sanji paused with his hand on the door. It was his last chance to ask.

He pulled open the door and walked out onto the sidewalk. No, it would be too weird.

XxxX

As the month progressed Sanji's headaches grew gradually more sever and his nose bleeds more frequent. He even had to miss out on work for a few days.

After three sick days Zoro was sitting in his usual spot when Nami, working as the bartender, started nagging at him about stuff he didn't give a shit about. It was almost enough to make him miss the cook. Almost.

"Zoro, are you even listening?" Nami said, angrily slapping down her hand in front of his glass.

"No," Zoro responded lazily.

"I said, you should go check on Sanji to make sure he's not dying or something," Nami huffed.

"Why the hell do I have to go? Besides, he's probably fine."

"Because you owe me and because I don't think he has anyone else to see if he's okay. So you are going to be a good person and make sure your friend is okay," Nami commanded.

"What are you, my mother? And we are not friends," Zoro denied.

"Uh, bullshit," Nami stated, "Every time you come in the two of you talk to each other every chance you get and you go do stuff together every weekend. You can't deny it, Zoro, you like him."

Zoro's face pinched in humiliation, "Don't say it like that. I don't like him, I tolerate him."

"You tolerate everyone, but you like him so you better go check on him or I will raise your debt," she threatened. Zoro did owe her some money but every time it was brought up the number somehow seemed larger than the last time it was mentioned.

"I don't even know where he lives." he was looking for a way out now.

"Then I'll give you his address, it's not far." She tore a piece of paper, wrote down Sanji's address, and slid it over. "You better go, before it gets too late."

Zoro made sure to groan obnoxiously before pocketing the paper and heading out the door. Damn that witch.

It took the green haired man a while to find Sanji's place, the city could be so damn confusing sometimes. He had also suspected that Nami had given him the wrong address for a while but then he found it at the address he was given.

After wringing the buzzer to Sanji's door it took about a minute and a half for the blond bartender to answer. He looked pretty awful to be honest; pale and exhausted. It was weird to see him without one of his fancy little outfits, he was wearing a teeshirt and sweatpants, his hair looked like it hadn't been brushed.

"Oh," Sanji said in delayed surprise, "I wasn't expecting you. Wait, how did you find out where I live?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

"Nami wanted me to make sure that you aren't dying. You aren't, right? Because you look pretty terrible." It was a genuine concern, he couldn't take anymore of Nami bar tending.

"I'm fine, I've just been having some seriously bad migraines plus a cold. You want to come in?" Sanji stepped out of the doorway to let Zoro inside. The inside of Sanji's apartment reflected nothing of the cook's personality. It lacked the silly things that made a house a home, there were still things in boxes. Granted he had moved here fairly recently but he'd been living there for at least over a month, one would think he'd have done more unpacking.

They walked into the living room where the lights were turned low, and blankets were piled on the couch. There was a little bottle of pills on the coffee table, which Zoro assumed to be pain killers.

"So this is where you've been holed up?" Zoro observed.

"Yeah, I've been pretending to be a cocoon, it's always been a dream of mine to become a butterfly." He flopped onto the couch.

"Well, like I said, you look terrible. Not that I think you should become a giant mutant butterfly man. If that happens stay the fuck away from me."

Sanji laughed gently. "This morning I was feeling better and I was going to go to work but then I had a seizure."

Zoro blanched, "You had a what?!"

"A seizure, don't fucking shout. My fucking brain is going to explode. It's not as bad as it seems, I've always had them. I have to take medication. It's been a while though and it totally wiped me out, not to mention I banged my head on the floor." He reached up to rub the lump that had formed on the back of his head. This did nothing to get rid of Zoro's horrified expression.

Zoro narrowed his eyes. "You don't have like a terminal brain tumor or something, do you? Because that would explain a lot. The bleeding, the spaceyness, the headaches, the sudden moving away from home..." Please let it not be like some sort of shitty terminal cancer or something. Zoro hated sad cancer stories, they fucking sucked. What kind of fucked up person wants to read a sad story?

"No," Sanji said in irritation, "I don't have a shitty brain tumor. I've had enough tests done to be sure of that. And I don't think being "spacey" and having nosebleeds are signs of brain tumors. Actually, no. If it were between your sinus and cerebellum it would cause nose bleeds but I still don't think spaceyness is a symptom."

"You're sure of that? Because I don't want to be having a nice day and then find out that you've died of a brain tumor." It would be like skipping along and out of nowhere face planting onto the sidewalk.

"Why, would that upset you?" Sanji seemed interested.

"No!" the swordsman denied, "I'd just be pissed that you lied to me."

"Mmhm, sure. I think you'd miss me if I suddenly died." A sly little smirk was beginning to form at the corner of his mouth.

"Whatever, I just came here to make sure that you weren't dying and, according to you, you aren't, so I'll just be going now." Zoro stood and started to make his was to the door.

"Wait," Sanji called out, "You want to stay for dinner? I can make you amazing food."

"You sure you want to invite me to stay? Because you look like death," Zoro said, eyebrow raised.

Sanji waved a hand dismissively, "Eh, what's a little mind shattering headache when it comes to friends. I could cook without a brain and it would still taste great, I'd be like a zombie chef and then I could cook humans and it would be socially acceptable. So how about it, seaweed brains?"

"Fine, although your casual mention of cannibalism unsettles me. I'll stay but only because this means I don't have to feed myself." He also did not miss the word 'friends' being thrown out there either. Whatever, if Sanji wanted to call them friends he could do whatever he wanted. He was an adult after all.

"Whatever." Sanji rolled his eyes and stood, walking over to the kitchen. "Oi, moss head, follow me so I don't feel like your looking through all my things," he commanded.

"Why would I want to look through your things?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow as he followed.

"Because you're creepy, that's why." Sanji poked him in the center of his chest."You could be a serial killer for all I know."

"A serial killer who you just invited to stay for dinner?" He asked quizzically.

"What can I say," Sanji shrugged, "I like to live on the edge."

From there Sanji skillfully prepared dinner for himself and for Zoro. He make something relatively quickly they quickly ate their yummy food. Then they watched a bit of tv, which they also did while they were eating. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit was just too good to not stay and watch for a while.

"This show makes me upset," Sanji said, although his eyes were fixated to the screen.

"Yeah, it's supposed to. If it doesn't make you upset then you have issues."

"But it's so bad, why do I like it if it's bad?"

"Because it's not just another boring murder mystery show. Sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous after all," Zoro laughed.

"I guess that's true. I never though murder could get boring."

"It can when you watch too many episodes of Criminal Minds. The writers on that show severely overestimate how much I care about it's characters." Zoro rolled his eyes.

"If I made a tv show I would make it super awesome and then in the end I would totally crush the hearts if all my viewers. I would like, kill off everyone for no good reason or something. It would be one final fuck you to all my loyal fans," Sanji smiled happily. Zoro was starting to suspect that he was slightly slap happy because in the last few minuets he had become very giggly.

"Why the fuck would you do that? It's a real dick move," Zoro countered.

"Yeah, but I don't give a shit. Endings always blow anyway so I might as well make it memorable with the shock value. By the end if a series the show is always shit anyway so not that many people would care."

"I guess not. I just hate when endings suck. It's so annoying."

Yeah, I mean like..." Sanji trailed off, making a very hard thinking expression.

"What?" Zoro asked after an extended period of silence.

Sanji mumbled something incomprehensible and Zoro decided that he didn't care enough to try to decode what he said. They slipped back into silently watching the NYPD run around catching perps.

When Zoro felt it was time to leave Sanji was passed out on the couch in his cocoon of blankets. He considered just crashing for the night but he had to go to work in the morning and he felt creepy about staying the night in his house without explicit invitation to do so. Then again this chair was reeeeally comfortable, and his place was soooo far way. Would it really be so bad if he were to just fall asleep here? He could always say it was an accident. Yeah, fucking fuck it, that sounded good to him. With that in mind Zoro promptly fell asleep.

XxxX

Zoro was awakened by a disheveled looking Sanji.

"I don't know how early you get up for work but it's 4:30 now. You can use the shower while I make breakfast," Sanji said helpfully, his voiced was rough from lack of use. Why was he even awake this early? Not that it wasn't extremely helpful, he just wondered if the blond had sleep troubles. Not that he cared.

Zoro groaned, he hated waking up but he stood up regardless and went to turn on the shower. The warm water made him want to sleep. He tried to shower quickly, less time he was in there the less likely he was to fall asleep standing up. He did, however, look at Sanji girly fucking hair products, what a priss. Zoro refused to use those products because he was a man, a manly man, who smelled like men and maybe pine trees like a fucking lumberjack, not like vanilla or strawberries.

When Zoro walked into the kitchen Sanji had food waiting on the table and he was pouring himself a glass of apple juice. He looked up when Zoro sat down at the table.

"Want some?" He held up the pitcher of juice.

Zoro gave a short nod as he stuffed a piece of French toast into his mouth. God damn was it good. A glass of apple juice was placed in front of him. After setting down the glass Sanji tisked at Zoro's wet hair.

"You should really blow dry your hair." Without thinking he ran a hand through the short wet locks, jostling them lightly. "It's still pretty cold outside, your hair might freeze off." He withdrew his hand without any indication that he'd noticed he'd done something really weird.

Zoro made a face, "I'm not blow drying my hair. Blow dryers are for girls and people who try too hard, it doesn't take long for my hair to dry anyway."

"Blow dryers are for people who want to look presentable," Sanji argued.

"Fuck that." He continued to eat in a half asleep sort of way. "What time is it," Zoro asked when he was done eating.

Sanji checked his phone. "Uh, it's 5:16."

"I still have like fifteen minutes," he sighed, slumping onto his arms.

Sanji chuckled, "Are you always this bad at getting up?"

"Yes, let me sleep," he said nearly inaudibly.

"Go sleep on the couch, I'll wake you up in fifteen minutes."

Zoro raised his eyes in suspicion, "You're being oddly nice this morning. I don't like it, I feel like I'm getting lured into a false sense of security."

"Well, my head doesn't feel like it's going to split apart, so yeah, I'm in a pretty good mood." He slimed, "I'm also planning to kill you and wear your skin as a body suit, but you didn't hear that from me."

Zoro looked horrified, "That is both horrifying and disgusting. So, you'll be at work today?"

"Yep," Sanji confirmed, "Unless something unexpected happens. Now go sleep."

Zoro shambled over and fell onto the couch where Sanji had spent the night, it was much nicer than the chair. Fifteen minutes later Zoro was once again awakened by Sanji, this time he had a lunchbox in his hands.

"I made you lunch," Sanji said lifting the box bag thing. "I packed something for Luffy too, you'll know it when you see it, it's labeled."

"Uh, thanks," Zoro said, sitting up.

Sanji made an irritated face, "Ugh, don't make me feel weird about it. Just go on, don't be late for work."

He walked to the door and Sanji shoved the lunchbox into his hands. The door was opened and he stepped outside.

"See you tonight, marimo," Sanji smiled sleepily.

Zoro nodded blankly in return and headed on his way, unable to shake the unease after such a strange morning. He looked down at the lunchbox in his hands. At least he would have a good lunch.

Despite being prompted to move Zoro ended up being slightly late to work because he got a little bit turned around on his way. Everyone was waiting at the site when he arrived. Along with Luffy and Usopp were two blathering idiots named Johnny and Yosaku. They were hired hands, mostly for building although they were good at getting things die when Zoro told them to do things. They pretty much worshiped the ground he walked on. It could get annoying but at times it was very useful as well.

"Yo, aniki, why are you so late?" Yosaku asked as Zoro approached everyone.

"Left too late, I guess," Zoro said setting down his lunchbox.

Taking notice of this new lunchbox, Johnny lifted a hand to his face in thought.

"What is it, Johnny?" asked Luffy, excitedly.

"Aniki has a new lunchbox, he's late because he probably got lost-"

"Hey, no I didn't!" Why did no one have any faith in his navigation abilities? Was it because they had failed so many times? It was, wasn't it?

"And he's wearing the same cloths as yesterday. You know what this means?" Johnny asked no one in particular.

"Zoro forgot how to get home again?" Luffy guessed, trying to answer the rhetorical question and unintentionally insulting Zoro.

"He has a secret girlfriend! It is the only explanation!" he said with great confidence. Luffy gave a little cheer of support.

"No, I don't," Zoro said smacking a hand to his face, "Nami told me to check up on the cook yesterday and I ended up falling asleep at his house."

"Sanji's sick?" Luffy asked, looking distraught.

"He looked better this morning." Zoro offered with a shrug.

"Who's Sanji?" Asked Johnny.

"And why have we never me him?" Asked Yosaku, tears forming in his eyes at the thought of having been forgotten by Zoro.

"He's the bartender at Nami's place, you can meet him anytime you want," Zoro stated, it wasn't like he was hiding Sanji somewhere like some sort of fugitive.

"Wait, did Sanji make you that lunch?" Luffy asked, eyeing the lunchbox with newfound glory.

"Yes, he said he packed something for you. You can have it at lunch."

Luffy let out a, "Wooooh!" Throwing his hands to the air. He tried to lunge for the lunchbox but Zoro snatched it away in time. Zoro rolled his eyes and they finally got started with work.

XxxX

A/N: it's my birthday so I'm feeling generous and you get an early chapter ;)

I'd love for you to guess where exactly this story is going. I'm fairly confident that you won't, I might cry if you do.

Thanks to my beta Mary_Nine :)

I typed in "nosebleed" on YouTube and a video of Sanji popped up XD

Thanks.


	6. Worried About Ray

The truth be told, the truth be told  
I'm worried what the future holds, the future holds  
I'm starting to worry about Ray

-"Worried About Ray" The Hoosiers

XxxX

After the day's work was done Zoro had three shadows following him to the bar, four if you counter his actual shadow, and seven if you counted the real people and their shadows. He walked though the door to see Sanji standing at the bar, like he'd never left, although he looked pretty bored. He smiled when he saw Zoro walk in with his three companions.

"And who are these nice people?" Sanji asked, pouring Zoro the usual. "And what can I get them?"

"Whatever Zoro-Aniki is having," said Johnny.

"Me too," said Yosaku enthusiastically.

Sanji raised an eyebow but did not comment on their odd behavior, he just poured more drinks.

"Sanij," Luffy said seriously, "you need to pack lunch for Zoro everyday- no, better idea- pack lunch for me everyday."

"Oh, did you like the meat I packed for you?" Sanji asked.

"Yes! But it wasn't enough," Luffy said sadly. Sanji knew he wouldn't be able to put enough in for Luffy, if he did that then that lunchbox would have been a hell of a lot heavier, also it would have to be bigger on the inside like some kind of paradox or piece of galafreyan architecture.

"And did the marimo like his lunch?" Sanji asked with an evil grin.

"Yep!" Luffy said automatically.

"No- shut up!" Zoro tried to say, but he had been ignoring everyone so the answer came too late.

"Why would you not like your lunch, aniki? It looked like you enjoyed it," inserted Yosaku in confusion.

"Aw, looks like you've been caught liking my food, asshole. I'm an amazing cook, not even you can deny that," Sanji taunted, poking Zoro's face as he turned away in embarrassment.

"Agh, just shut up!" Zoro slapped away his hand.

Sanji chuckled, "Well, if you ever want me to cook you something again you can turn up out of the blue at my house and crash on my couch because apparently my door is always open," he joked.

"Can I come too?" Luffy asked.

"No, I don't think I my kitchen has the infrastructure to feed you everyday," Sanji said sadly.

XxxX

That next Monday Zoro walked in to find Sanji talking to another bar patron with a trained expression on his face. The woman he was talking to was heavy set and spoke very loudly with a voice that just sounded rude. She was going on about something that seemed to be annoying and he could see that Sanji was trying his hardiest to get out of the conversation. When he moved to serve Zoro the woman snapped at him and demanded his attention.

"I'm sorry, madam, but I have to help this man here," Sanji said politely but his voice was thin and his expression was slightly strained.

She mumbled something threatening that Zoro could not hear from where he sat across the bar but Sanji's expression fluctuated in irritation.

"Madam, I'm going to have to ask you to leave," he said firmly.

"Oh yeah, why's that?" she asked loudly.

"Because you just threatened me, and because you are inhibiting the pleasures of the other customers," he said smoothly.

The woman stood abruptly, "I will be having words with your boss," she spat.

"I'm sorry, but she's not here right not," Sanji sighed, raising a hand to his head.

"Then I will come back later and I will tell her of this great injustice!" shouted, then she stormed out angrily.

Sanji folded slightly onto the counter, "Thank god, I thought I was going to have to forcibly kick here out," he sighed.

"What was that all about?" Zoro asked as Sanji poured him his sake.

"She's been here since I started today. She's been here before, usually later and she talks and talks about things I don't care about and she's rude and it's just not fun to deal with her."

"I think this is the first time I've ever heard you bad mouth a woman," Zoro smirked.

"Well, I've had a really shitty day so I'm not at the top of my charm," Sanji sighed glumly. It was a strange expression to see on the cook's face and it made Zoro feel uncomfortable.

"What's wrong with today?" he asked.

"Well, I woke up and I was hanging halfway off my bed, which gave me a bad crick in my neck and that just set me in a bad mood. Then I tripped and smashed my shin into my coffee table, which sucked. I accidentally burnt my fucking breakfast because I was trying to clean up the glass jar of brown sugar that I shattered all over my floor and that made me want to cry but so did that glass that got lodged in my leg. But it was the burnt breakfast that really made me want to hurt something. Then I had to talk on the phone with Zeff so he could yell at me for something stupid. And when I got here that lady kept talking to me. Plus I have a pounding migraine. And it is my birthday so, yeah, that's just the icing on the cake," he droned on miserably.

"That is a shitty day," Zoro agreed, "Are you planning to do anything to celebrate your birthday? How old are you now anyway? You could be a very youthful looking old man for all I know."

"I am now twenty-five, and I plan on going home and curling up into a ball."

"Hah, that makes you like four months younger than me."

"So your birthdays is in, what? November?" Ugh, counting months backwards is hard.

"Yep, November eleventh."

"You seem the a November person," Sanji said thoughtfully.

"What the fuck does that me?"

"I don't know, but it makes sense to me," Sanji shrugged.

"So, why haven't you told anyone that it's your birthday?"

"Because I never really celebrated birthdays growing up and they just feel weird and uncomfortable now. I don't really like it so usually I just go home and eat I've cream to celebrate."

"Oh god, that sounds so depressing."

"Yeah, but I like doing it. I even got my favorite raspberry ice cream," Sanji smiled at the thought of the frozen dairy product. Frozen yogurt would never compare. Never ever.

"Well, I just hope you know that when Luffy finds out that you didn't celebrate your birthday he will be unhappy with you."

"He won't find out because no one will tell him."

"Fine, fine but it's bound to catch up on you at some point."

"You make it sound like I've dome something really terrible."

"You have in Luffy's book."

"Great, another thing I have to feel bad about."

He poured drinks for a few more people and returned to Zoro resting his hand on his chin and making an unhappy expression.

"What?" Zoro asked over the rim of his glass.

"My chin feels weird."

"Weird how?"

"I don't know, the bone just doesn't feel flat and it weirds me out. I fell on my chin once while I was little and it always felt weird after that but I thought it was just in my head."

"I think it probably is."

"I agree, my head should go kill itself for being stupid," Sanji muttered darkly.

"I wouldn't go that far."

"I wish that I could see my brain. Then I could see what I truly look like inside, except I wouldn't because my eyes wouldn't be attached to my brain anymore and I would be dead."

"Yes, you would. I wish that I could turn into a ghost sometimes like Danny Phantom," he paused, "I didn't mean to say that. I wasn't actually listening to you and my mouth just went off without me, but with any luck you weren't listening to me either?" He looked up to see Sanji grinning at him.

"I was listening and I think that would be totally amazing. I would fly around and fight crime like a super hero. I would also fly around, which would be amazing."

"You would defiantly peek in on girls while they couldn't see you."

"No! I have more class than that and you have offended me, sir," Sanji proclaimed, aghast at the suggestion, "I would, however, haunt your place of residence."

"You don't know where I live. Do you?"

"No, but I would find out and... Melt your toaster with my ghost powers or something. It would be awesome."

"No, not my toaster. Anything but that," Zoro said with a straight face and a flat tone. That night he stayed later than he usually did keeping Sanji entertained.

XxxX

It was just another lovely day in the bar, a lovely day in general really. It was the first day of spring actually. Okay, so it wasn't the perfect spring day, it was sort of mushy and gray out, lovely probably the word most people would use to describe it, but it was nice because there was a warm breeze that swirled the smell of spring through the air. Zoro obviously wasn't outside to experience this because he was doing his usual thing and talking to Sanji.

"Just think about when we're old," Sanji was saying, "We'll be stuck in some retirement home-"

"The same retirement home?" Zoro interrupted.

"Yes. And they'll be playing things like dub step and Harry Potter to entertain us. The kids will be all like 'man, fuck those old people and their shitty old dub step music, they still use iPod touches.'"

"Well, the first thing I want to know is, why we are in the same retirement home? Second, they'll probably play popular stuff and populars stuff sucks so I suggest we break out."

"We are in the same retirement home because after my beautiful wife died tragically in a nuclear explosion you saw her obituary in the future news and stalked me down to try and comfort me before I die of radiation poisoning. I put up with it only because I feel bad for you, seeing as you never married. Also, I would defiantly break out of an old people's home and run away with you because those places are depressing."

"Fuck you. That sounds like the plot of some weird gay movie that would be somehow very endearing."

"Now that you mention it it kind of does but I don't care. As an old man I plan on not giving a single fuck about anything."

"That sounds good to meeee- your nose is bleeding," Zoro said making a smooth transition as he watched blood drip from the bartender's nose.

Sanji blinked and looked down at the blood drops that had fallen onto the back of his hand. "Oh. Fuck." He grabbed some napkins and placed them onto his face.

"I can stand behind the counter while you wait for the bleeding to stop," Zoro suggested. He doubted that people wanted to be served by someone with blood pouring from their nose. He knew how the bar worked anyway, it wasn't that hard.

Fifteen minutes later he was looking over at Sanji in concern. His nose was still bleeding with no signs of stopping in sight and he had started to sway on his feet.

"Hey, cook, I think you should go to the hospital," Zoro said although he thoroughly expected a firm denial. And he was not disappointed in that respect.

Sanji shook his head sharply with a muffled, "No, no that's not necessary."

"Yeah, but you look like you're about to fall over and there is a lot of your blood outside your body." He nodded to the trash can filling with bloody napkins.

"I'll be fine. I've never had to go to the hospital and I'm not going to go now," Sanji proclaimed even as he teetered to the side.

"I think you are, actually. I'm going to drive you. You don't want Nami to have to deal with you dying in here, right? There's probably a lot of paperwork for that."

"No, but I won't because I am totally fine!"

Zoro ignored him and walked back into Nami's office where she was sitting there writing something.

"Hey," Zoro greeted, "Sanji's nose has been pouring blood for the past fifteen minutes, so I'm just going to drive him to the hospital. You should probably go run your bar. Also, there will probably be some screaming when I drag him out."

Nami looked bewildered, "Fine, just make sure he okay. I'll be out in a second, just go."

Zoro nodded and went back out to Sanji, who was leaning against the wall trying to will the bleeding to stop. Zoro placed a hand on his shoulder, making him jump.

"I'm not going," he insisted, clenching the counter like he was trying to keep himself there with the power of his vice like grip.

"Yes, you are, even if I have to carry you out of here," Zoro muttered, removing Sanji's hands easily.

"Zoro, I swear, if you make me go-"

At that moment Nami walked out. "You are going," she said meaningfully, "And you are going to go with as little resistance as possible."

"Nami..." Sanji let out a strangled plea.

"Go," she ordered.

Zoro's gave him a slight nudge in the direction if the door and when it became apparent that he wasn't going to move for himself he started to pull him toward the exit.

As they entered the car Sanji felt the dread begin to pool in his stomach. Logically, he knew that he really should go to the hospital because he felt like he was about to pass out but he stubbornly wanted to avoid the hospital because it scared the shit out of him.

The car ride was an absolute blur and Zoro had to open his door to hall him out because he had gone limp like a child in protest.

"Don't make me drag you inside," Zoro threatened, giving Sanji the strength he needed to walk in for himself and not be humiliated.

As they walked toward the doors Zoro had a tight grip in his wrist so he couldn't run off. He could already feel his heart rate pick up, which probably wasn't good for his nose bleed. He pulled slightly at his arm.

"I think it's stopping," he lied, "Take me home."

"Shut up, you are going in and you are going to see a doctor. There is something wrong with you," Zoro argued.

"No, I'm fine." He pulled harder as the doors slid open to the waiting room. The sickly hospital smell washed over them and Sanji felt his already queazy stomach lurch. Regardless, Zoro pulled him forward to the front desk where a woman in scrubs sat at a computer. She looked up at their approach.

"I'm guessing you're here for that," she nodded to Sanji. "How long has it been bleeding?" She asked.

"About twenty minutes or more," Zoro responded, eyeing Sanji with a sideways glance.

The woman looked worried, "I'll call a doctor for you right away, follow me." She hopped up and walked in the direction if a hallway, leaving a man in charge at the desk.

Sanji did not immediately move, he seemed to be frozen in his spot. Zoro tried to tug him forward but he wouldn't move.

"I can't go," Sanji said weakly, his expression that of terror.

"You'll be fine, come on. Doctors aren't that bad."

"Yes, they are. I can't do it. I'd rather just bleed to death here."

"Fine, have it your way," Zoro sighed, he'd rather he didn't have to do this but... He quickly scooped Sanji up bridal style and carried him after the woman, who looked slightly confused.

"Afraid of doctors," Zoro explained over Sanji's indignant screams. People were staring at them as Sanji thrashed weakly, blood still gushing from his nose.

She nodded in understanding and put them in an empty room. She told them to wait a few minutes while she got a doctor, from one of the drawers she retrieved a towel for Sanji's nose, and then she left. When she was gone Zoro set Sanji down on the examination table. He looked extremely pale, frightened, and Zoro noticed that he was actually shaking although he was clenching his hands very hard to try hiding it.

"Hey," Zoro said gently, setting his hands on Sanji's trembling shoulders. "It's fine, okay. Calm down it'll be fine." He hated to be comforting toward him because it made his insides hurt but he looked like he was about to puke out of fear and he didn't want to be puked on if he could avoid it.

Sanji clenched his jaw and shook his head. He wasn't about to say anything, he was just trying his hardest to suppress the panic attack he felt swelling inside him. He could feel the weight of the world pressing down on him as black specks began to speckle his vision. He tried to calm himself but it was becoming harder and harder to breathe.

With the hand he wasn't using to hold the towel to his face, he clenched his chest, trying to dispel the tight feeling there. He could hear shoes walking down the hallway toward their door. The doctor would soon be in to examine him. There wasn't enough air in the room.

Zoro removed Sanji's hand from his chest and looked him in the face. "Calm down," he said evenly, "There's nothing to be afraid of."

Unfortunately, irrational fear was nearly the definition of the word phobia. Although it's help was marginal, Sanji greatly appreciated the effort anyway. At least on some level, mostly he was just mortified that Zoro was even witnessing this.

When the doctor walked in Sanji started clenching Zoro's hand hard enough to cause him a generous amount of pain. That's what he deserved to bringing him here.

The doctor greeted them briefly as she ruffled through drawers and brought out a light.

"Tilt back your head and remove the towl," she ordered calmly. Sanji did his best to follow this command as she shone a light up his nose.

"Do you feel most of your blood funning down the front or back of your nose when you lean forward?"

"Front," he croaked.

"Very good, now I am going to numb your nose." She brought out a little cotton ball, covering it in a clear liquid. Sanji nodded weakly as she pressed the ball into his nose. He felt himself away slightly.

"How long have you been bleeding?"

"Almost twenty-five minutes," Zoro answered for him.

The doctor nodded, after a minutes Sanji's nose was sufficiently numb and the doctor brought out a little heater needle, moving toward Sanji's face.

"This won't hurt at all," the doctor said soothingly although it wasn't helping. With one final wave of panic Sanji lost conciseness. It was probably for the best, really.

The doctor ordered Zoro to hold him up while she cauterized the tissues in his nose.

"Does he have a history if nose bleeds?" She asked.

"Yeah, he's been having them a lot lately."

She nodded, "I think we should do some tests after he has a blood transfusion, just to make sure it's nothing serious. Tell your boyfriend when he wakes up that he should just sit back and relax, I don't want him to tear out his IV."

At the word 'boyfriend' Zoro jolted, "Uh, no, I'm not- I'm just a friend who happened to be there when he started gushing blood. We're not-" He made an ambiguous gesture between himself and Sanji. He couldn't seem to formulate the right words to explain, damn he hated misunderstandings. Zoro imagined that she had come to this very wrong conclusion because Sanji had practically been holding his hand when he was still conscious. Couldn't two dudes comfort each other without it being weird?

The woman looked mortified. "I'm so sorry," she mumbled, "I just assumed-"

"Don't worry about it," Zoro grumbled, wishing she would just go. It was her fault for making this awkward, it was pretty unprofessional to make an assumption like that. Stammering a final apology the doctor emerged herself in working on the unconscious blond. Zoro turned away from the door to glare at the unconscious body of Sanji and resolved to not tell him about this ever. Better to just not think about it over again. That wasn't an overreaction was it? Nope, it was fine.

When that was done the doctor took a blood sample and had some nurses rush them into a patient's room so Sanji could get a transfusion. He was hooked up to an IV as they started to fill him back up with blood. Zoro sat playing with his phone while Sanji was out. Nami called once to make sure everything was okay, to which Zoro assured that Sanji was fine. He woke up about an hour later and tried to rip out the IV but Zoro grabbed his arm once he relived what was happening and held it back.

"Welcome back," he said smoothly.

Sanji blinked at him, then he seemed to realize what what going on. "Aw, fuck. This is incredibly embarrassing and I will never live it down."

"What? It's not that embarrassing. It's not that bad."

"Yes, it is and so I should just sneeze or whatever and bleed to death." He paused, "Ugh, why does my nose feel so weird?" He lifted his hand to itch his nose but Zoro stopped him.

"They like burned the skin of your nose to stop the bleeding, so I don't think you should touch it. You seen much calmer now," he observed.

"Trust me, I still want to jump out of the window but now I feel really tired and weird. What time is it anyway?"

"Like, almost nine."

"It's still too late to be stuck in a hospital."

"It's always too late to be stuck in the hospital. Last time I was in a hospital it was after I nearly got cut in half."

"How the fuck did you almost get cut in half? Also, in which direction?" He moved a finger horizontally than vertically, trying to imagine it.

"This way," he moved his hand from his left shoulder to his right hip. "I would take my shirt off and show you but I'm afraid a nurse might come in and misinterpret."

"Good, I didn't want to see you with your shirt off anyway." Maybe a tiny bit did, but not a part he was proud of. Shame on on him. "So, how the fuck did that happen?"

"I was at a tournament and the current greatest swordsman Dracule Mihawk was there so I challenged him in a back alley. He said he'd fight me and then I nearly got sliced in half. Not my most shining moment but he didn't kill me because he thought I had potential so I'm not going to waste that potential and I will one day slice him in half." That was the short version of what happened, there was a lot more emotion struggle in reality that he'd rather just let stay in the past.

"Okay, first off what fucking kind if name is Dracule? It's like one letter short of Dracula, does he look like he wants to suck people's blood?"

"Kind of."

"Great, you were nearly hacked in half by a vampire. Second, is he in jail for nearly murdering you? Because it sounds like he should be."

"I should had mentioned that he's wanted by various governments for being a thug and a murder."

"And you challenged him to a fight. I never realized how intelligent you are but now I see it."

"Shut up, I was following my dream and I'm way better than that now. I'll beat him the next we cross paths!" Zoro defended himself.

Sanji rolled his eyes, "Of course you will, you're Zoro fucking Roronoa and no vampire will ever again cause you any harm. Because vampires suck." He smacked himself in the head. "Fuck that was a pun. I hate myself."

"As you should, that was awful. But honestly he really makes me think of that guy from The Princess Bride."

"The main guy or the guy with the long name who's a sword fighter."

"Well, the sword fighter would make the most sense and they look similar but he reminds me of the main guy for some reason."

"That's weird. I loved that movie though, I've watched it like a million times."

"That figures, you seem like the kind of person who would like that movie."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanji asked in offense.

"It means it has action, romance, and an interesting story line so it figures that you would like it."

"Well, I'm pretty sure that's not what you originally meant so shut it."

"As you wish."

Sanji shoved him slightly, "No, you make me want to watch it again," he whined.

"Whatever, I'm more of a science fiction guy, myself."

"Really? You don't seem the type. You seem like the really awful action move type."

"I do enjoy action movies but I like scifi even more. I hid my inner nerd well, unlike you."

"As I said before, shut it."

"As you wish."

"God dammit, fuck you."

"As you wish."

"Stop it!"

The doctor came back in to check on them about half an hour later after a nurse had come by to check his vitals.

"Mister Black," she said calmly, "Your transfusion should be done in another hour and a half. After that is done I would like you to get a head x-ray so we can just be sure that everything is okay, yes?"

"What would you be checking for?" asked Zoro because Sanji seemed incapable of speech right now.

"Just making sure that there isn't a growth in the sinus cavity."

"Aren't there other ways to test that?"

"Yes, but given his medical history I think it's best that we get an x-ray done and if there's something there I will order a CT scan. We are also running the blood for any anomalies but that will take about twenty four hours and we will call you." She nodded to Sanji.

"I don't want to be here any longer than necessary," Sanji said finding his voice.

"Are you serious?" Zoro asked, "I know that you want to be out of this place but it could be something serious."

Sanji made a whining sound, "Don't make me do this."

"I can't make you do this, I have no power here," Zoro clarified, "But I think that you should to it."

Sanji pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine, but I am positive that you won't find anything." That was oddly easier than expected.

Satisfied with that answer, the doctor disappeared back into the busy hallway.

"So, what's with your medical history?" Zoro asked when she was gone.

"What?" Sanji razed an eyebrow.

"She said 'given his medical history', so what's with your medical history?"

"Nose bleeds, headaches, and the occasional minor seizure," he responded, "Not terribly interesting but it makes it sound like I have some sort of brain problem. I've had all the tests done. There's absolutely nothing there."

"Why do I get the feeling that you had to spend a lot of your childhood running from doctors?"

"Because I did. Running and crying like a baby." He shook his head in disgust with himself.

After Sanji was taken off the IV he was taken to the x-ray machine. He did so with a good deal of loud complaining and panicky glances at the exits but they managed to get him in for the test. After a few shaky seconds of sitting still they were told it would take a few minutes to be analyzed. And a few minutes later a nurse walked in saying that everything was clear and he was good to go. He would be called about the blood test results as soon as they were available and to call if he experienced anything weird.

When they left it was about eleven thirty. On the drive back Sanji was half asleep as rain spattered the windshield. As Zoro parked in front of his apartment he finally said something.

"I told you they wouldn't find anything," Sanji bragged weakly.

"You did," Zoro inclined his head, "and it's a good thing you were right because saying I told you so over having a tumor in your face was not something I was looking forward to."

"Good, I would have cried so that you would feel guilty about it."

"No you wouldn't."

"No, I would not. But I think you would still feel bad because you are secretly a good person sometimes."

"Whatever, I'm glad you don't have cancer or something," the swordsman grumbled.

"Me too, but my results aren't all back yet so there's that to look forward to," he laughed.

There was a heavy pause as the rain picked up for a moment. Sanji was not looking forward to running though that, he didn't want to even stand up.

"Hey, Zoro," Sanji began, turning toward him in the darkness, the street lights dimly illuminating the smile on his face. "Thank you for making me go to the hospital. I couldn't have done it if you didn't make me. If it were just me, I would have let myself bleed to death or whatever. So, thanks for wasting like four hours in a sick people's repair station."

Zoro scoffed, "Don't thank me for things, it's weird. Just don't let it happen again and if you ever start bleeding copiously again call me and I will take you back."

There was another heavy pause as Sanji gathered the courage to brave the rain. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, uh, goodnight."

"Night," Sanji waved slightly as he got out, stumbling slightly as he ran though the rain. Zoro watched to make sure he was inside before driving off. God dammit, when did he start to care?

The next day Sanji was back to his job like nothing had happened.

"The tests were negative for everything except awesome." were Sanji's first words to him as smirked over the counter, handing Zoro a drink.

Zoro rolled his eyes, "You are such a loser." Be he was glad that he wasn't dying or something. That would suck.

XxxX

A/N: Believe it or not I actually used a calendar to set dates for every major event. Because I'm neurotic and weird.

Having your nose numbed is weird, especially if they stick a camera tube down the back of your throat. Blah. And I'm sorry if I get hospital stuff wrong, I've never had massive blood loss.

Note, this story was written in the winter time and it feels so long since I've felt the warmth I've forgotten what spring feels like. Also, I cannot predicted future weather patterns, even meteorologists have trouble with that.

Hopefully school is winding down for you guys. Almost done, hang in there.

Also, I believe this finishes off phase one of this story. Now the exciting stuff starts, prepare your butts.

Thanks.


	7. Roll With The Punches

That really hurt me like a fist to the face  
I wasn't ready to be knocked out of place  
Suddenly everything I was sure of  
Is sinking below the depths of the surface

It's unexpected, it usually is  
When you're rejected or you take a hit  
Suddenly everything's thrown in a spin  
No time to grow a thicker skin  
What kind of situation am I in now?

-"Roll With The Punches" Lenka

XxxX

April first was amusingly Usopp's birthday. Sanji found this incredibly funny, it was like his whole life was set up to be one big joke for the universe to laugh at... That sounded a little sad, actually. But the third was Brook's. For the sake of everyone their joint party was held on the forth. That way they only had to have one party and neither of them was the actual birthday boy-? man-? man boy? Neither of them was the actual birthday man child on that day. Usopp was turning twenty four and Brook wouldn't tell anyone how old he was.

The party was obviously held at the Thousand Sunny and Sanji did not have the night off but he was fine with that. Because of the party the bar was more crowded than usual and very loud. There were many interesting people.

Sanji met Usopp's girlfriend Kaya, who was wonderful and looked way too attractive to be with him but given Usopp's personality he could understand. Although trying to imagine them kissing was kind of a mind fuck. Not because he couldn't imagine Kaya wanting to kiss him, it was just that nose was crazy and awkward. He imagined that she would have to turn her face completely sideways in order to make it work. There was a kiss kind of like that in Aladdin, it was sort of weird.

Zoro slid into a bar stool, startling him, "What are you thinking about? Because you look like you're trying to uncover the mysteries of the universe."

"Kissing Usopp. No, wait. That came out wrong. I was trying to imagine what kissing would be like with a disabling nose. Fuck, that just sounded mean." Sanji was not very good at back peddling.

"If you say anymore weird things I'm just going to go." He pointed toward the horde of people behind him.

"I can't promise anything but you should have realized this before you came over so you can't really blame me for this."

"Yeah, you're right. I guess I've just been getting used to your general weirdness."

"General weirdness sounds like a band name."

"No it doesn't, that name sucks."

"Your face sucks."

"Your mom sucks."

"I was adopted so for all I know you could be right."

Zoro's gave scrunched up, "No, don't insult your biological mother. I'm sure she was a lovely lady."

"Is it because she created such a beautiful baby?" Sanji flipped his hair exaggeratedly.

"What she created was a monster but that wasn't her fault, it was genetics fault along with environmental factors. So, I guess technically some of it was her fault."

"I used to try imagining what she was like when I was little. I really wanted a mom, Zeff was pretty tough as a father figure and I think he may have given me emotional damage."

"I'm fairly certain all of your emotional damage cannot be blamed on one man. I believe this is much bigger than that."

"You make me sound like a total wreck."

"You aren't a total wreck. You're like half a wreck and there are only a few people dead but most of them lived."

"I knew a kid in high school who died in a car crash. Actually, I knew two if them. There were grief councilors and everything."

"That really sucks. Were you friends with them?"

"Not really. One was someone I had never heard of, he didn't have a seatbelt on. The other I sat with at lunch and he starred at me while I was eating my food, he was evading arrest."

"You're tone seem inappropriate for the situation."

"I'm sorry, on my birthday he bought me ice cream and gave me a hug that lasted way too long."

"Maybe he was just very friendly?"

"He lifted me off my feet."

"Very, very friendly?"

"He texted me too much telling me how much he liked me. Like, like liked," Sanji crossed his arms. He was regretting saying anything.

Zoro burst out laughing, "Please tell me he was bigger and manlier than you."

"Shut up, he was a creepy stalker!"

"Don't disrespect the dead."

"Why not? It's not like he's going to be insulted or anything."

"You are defiantly going to go to hell."

"And I am taking you down with me."

After that Zoro endeavored back into the mob to talk with his other friends. He didn't like big parties much (at all) and he wished that most (all) of these people would go away, but he was there for Usopp and he was there for Brook. Luckily for him he found Chopper stowed away in a corner with Luffy and he hung out with them until Luffy tackled Nami and she knocked him unconscious. Then he just hung out with Chopper while Chopper tended to Luffy's probable concussion.

Not long after that everyone sang happy birthday really terribly and out of tune. The cake, which was huge and made by Sanji, was cut and handed around. When Sanji had first heard about the party his first priority was to know what the situation was with the cake. The original plan was to buy a cake but Sanji said that if they bought a cake he would steal it, give it to a homeless person, and make them a better one. No one had any objections to that whatsoever so Sanji made it happen and it was beautiful and magical and everyone loved it. Except Zoro, who didn't like cake, so he didn't count.

Zoro eventually made his way back to the cook in question at some point later that night. He was doubled over onto the counter, clenching his head in pain.

"Are you okay?" Zoro asked.

Sanji's head shot up, "I'm fine, my head just feels like pain so that's kind of sucky." He shrugged, "So, did you eat any of my cake?"

"No, I don't like cake."

"That makes me very sad, marimo," Sanji sighed, "Do you like ice cream cake? Pound cake? Coffee cake? Cheese cake? Pie?"

Zoro shook his head, "Nope, I don't like sweet foods."

"I'm sorry, I'm going to have to ask you to leave the country because you are obviously not an American."

"I'm sorry my pallet is sub par, but I can't help it."

"You should be sorry, you make the little chef inside me want to cry, or beat the shit out of you, or teach your tongue a lesson."

Zoro wrinkled his nose, "That sounded like an innuendo to me."

"It's literally taking all my effort not to say in your end-o because it's literally the lamest joke ever, but I guess I just failed at that," Sanji sighed regretfully.

"I'm just going to ignore that and move on."

"You do that," Sanji said, going back to holding his head.

"Have you ever tried message therapy?" Zoro asked as he watched Sanji's pained expression.

"I have, actually but apparently these aren't tension headaches. Or at least most of them aren't."

"What was it like?"

"Awkward at first and then very painful. If felt like the bruised my back. I gave up on it after a few weeks."

"Has anything ever helped them?"

"Not really, I'm doomed to be forever in a lot of pain. Not even heavy medication helps," he droned bleakly. Life wasn't fair sometimes.

They talked a while longer but the party ended not too terribly long after that. Everyone went back to their lovely homes and settled in for a small amount of sleep. Except for Sanji who didn't get any sleep at all.

XxxX

The month of April passed quickly and wonderfully without too much incident. Zoro was in a particularly good mood. He couldn't quite put his finger on it but he woke up well rested, the weather outside was amazing. It was cool but there was a warm breeze allowing for it to be warm enough to wear a T-shirt. He even had a very slight smile on his face as he walked into the bar.

In contrast to Zoro's good mood, over the counter Sanji looked like he was having an existential crisis or something. He was staring down at the dishcloth in his hand, chewing his lip as his other hand dug into the back of his neck. He looked not in a good way.

When Zoro sat down he grabbed Sanji's left hand away from his neck. There was blood under his fingertips. Sanji himself hand nearly jumped out of his skin at being grabbed so suddenly.

"Agh, holy fucking shit!" he exclaimed, "God dammit, why did you do that?"

"What's wrong?" Zoro asked, letting go of the hand as Sanji pulled it away.

"Nothing," he said quickly, "I mean, I'm just trying to figure some things out."

"What things? You were fine yesterday." He had been his usual stupid fucking self yesterday.

"Yeah, well, yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away, now it looks like they're here to stay-" he was cut off by a crumpled up napkin being thrown at his face via Zoro, who had an expression that screamed 'you are such a fucking dork', "Fine. I just got a phone call before I came in. It's just- Agh!" He gripped his head with his hand, trying to will way the pain in his skull with a cry of frustration.

"A call from who?" Zoro asked crossing his arms and leaning on the counter.

"Carne. He said- Fuck, I shouldn't be taking about this right now. It's a busy night and I have a job to do." Professionalism was best right now, it kept him focused even if he was just playing a bartender right now.

"You look to frazzled to do it properly," Zoro observed, he hadn't even received his sake yet.

"Yeah, well, you look too stupid to do anything properly."

"Well, despite how severely you've hurt me with that last comment," the green haired man said sarcastically, "I'm going to keep asking questions. So, what did this Carne guy say?"

Sanji gave a long sigh, "Look, I can't deal with this right now. Not at work. If you really want to know you can wait until I'm off. Just go home and text me if you're coming, meet me here so you don't get lost trying to find my place." He was hoping that the swordsman didn't think it was worth it and leave him alone to suffer though this alone but when he thought about it that didn't seem likely to happen. He then seemed to realize that he hadn't actually been doing his job and poured him his sake.

"I don't get lost," Zoro objected.

"And I suppose you don't have green hair or alcoholic tendencies either."

"Shut up. Fine, I'll text you," Zoro said as Sanji was called to the attention of another patron requesting a drink.

Zoro spent the next few hours catching the sleep he would be losing by going over to Sanji's. He set an alarm so that he would have enough time to get to the bar, even compensating for the lost time he would likely gain while he found his way back. Not that he would need it.

When he arrived Sanji was standing outside smoking a cigarette in the darkness. He looked up as Zoro approached. Zoro opened his mouth to ask what was up but Sanji silenced him.

"Not here," he said as he began to walk in the direction of his apartment. The didn't say much on the way there, Sanji was walking in singleminded determination to get home.

When the apartment door shut behind them Zoro turned to the blond expectantly.

"So what the hell is going on?" he asked, the cook was starting to freak him out. A lot of thinks could get fucked up by one phone call.

Sanji groaned, kicking off his shoes and taking a seat on one side of the couch as Zoro took a seat on the opposite side.

"I got a call from home before work, like I said. Carne is one of the dumb fucks who works for Zeff at the Baratie. He said that Zeff has been having some health problems lately and he's been going to the doctors a lot. He wouldn't usually call me for something like this but he's fairly sure that it's serious. Zeff was supposed to call me sometime tonight. And normally I wouldn't freak out about something like this but if he's hiding something it's probably something big, and my head is killing me, I can't focus on anything, I feel stressed about literally everything. I'm just going to explode into a big pile of gore and stress." He slumped sideways into a pillow beside Zoro, hands covering the back of his neck.

"I think you're over reacting," Zoro said calmly, staring at Sanji's splayed blond hair. He was honestly expecting a lot worse.

"Yeah," came Sanji's muffled voice, "but acknowledging that isn't helping. Ugh, just make this stop. Why can't I relax?"

"What usually helps you relax?" Please, please don't say anything sexual, was Zoro's first thought as soon as the words left his mouth. That wasn't the kind if help he was willing to give. At least not right now... And suppress that last thought. Good, now listen to what the idiot cook is saying while not picturing him naked.

"Cooking." That was a relief.

"Then why don't you go cook something." He waved his hand toward the kitchen.

"But it's like one AM."

"Who cares, go make yourself feel better."

"No, I can't waste food like that if no one will eat it. I'll just wait and make a huge breakfast."

"And what are you going to do until then?"

"Go limp and pretend not to exist." He already had a head start on that.

"Sounds healthy."

"Yeah, well, it's the best I've got right now." He turned his head to the side so that his words could be more easily heard.

"Fair enough," Zoro said as he turned on the tv to watch some mindless bullshit. Sanji actually ended up falling asleep before Zoro did, which was slightly shocking. He was still laying on his side with his legs hanging off the couch, clutching his phone to his chest. It really did not look comfortable. Zoro weighed the risks of pulling him into a more comfortable position. He ended up deciding to do the nice thing and pull him up so that he was laying fully on the sofa. Zoro took the chair, he didn't mind, he could probably fall asleep anywhere. He would make a good hobo in that way and probably in a lot if other ways if he really thought about it. Was that a good or bad thing?

In the morning Zoro awoke to Sanji talking on the phone. At first his brain did not register what he was seeing, or what he was hearing. He was still stuck in that half dream state as he watched Sanji's form pace back and forth, phone to his ear. He looked aggravated.

All that Zoro managed to catch before he hung up was, "I'll see what I can do- Yeah, bye." After that Sanji turned to him with an upset expression.

"I'm going to make a fucking casserole so prepare your stomach, bastard," Sanji glowered as he stalked off the the kitchen. Zoro checked his phone, it was 7:03. Way too early to be waking up on a Saturday, but this was a special circumstance so Zoro dragged himself up from the chair he had spent the night on.

"Was that Zeff?" he asked upon entering the kitchen.

"Yeah, it was," Sanji said as he aggressively broke eggs into a bowl two at a time.

"Are you going to make me ask what he said or can you just tell me?" he said, rubbing a hand over his face.

"He has Adult Acute Myeloid Leukemia. He only found out for sure on Wednesday," Sanji said swiftly stirring the eggs.

Zoro was shocked, he had expected something mundane that Sanji had fussed over for nothing, not something like this. He wasn't quite sure how to respond.

"Um, I'm sorry?" He said, awkwardly.

Sanji stopped stirring, "Ugh, fuck you. I hate it when people do that, it's not like you fucking gave him cancer so you don't have anything to be sorry for."

"Sorry," Zoro shrugged.

Sanji glared, "Shut the fuck up. Why does cancer make everyone so uncomfortable? It's stupid. The 'I have cancer talk' wasn't even that bad this time."

"This time?" Zoro raised an eyebrow.

"When I was, like, eleven or something Zeff had osteosarcoma, which is like bone cancer in limbs. His was in his right lower leg. They couldn't do leg-salvage surgery because the tumor was large and it extended into the nerves so they had to do a below knee amputation. That was pretty shitty as a kid to see all that happen, you know. Plus, he had to do chemo before and after the surgery so all his hair fell out, which was gross and creepy."

Zoro wrinkled his nose. "Fuck, that really, really sucks. I mean what are the chances that he would get different kind of cancer?"

"Well, I guess the odds were pretty good seeing as the chemo probably gave it to him," Sanji scoffed.

"What? How?"

"Some of the drugs used in chemotherapy can prompt leukemia to develop."

"Why the fuck would they use it if it can cause cancer?"

Sanji shrugged. "It's a necessary risk. All the drugs in chemo are pretty nasty, they do cause cell death after all, but it's all we have to work with right now. It's science and shit. But usually I think if you're going to get cancer from chemo it happens sooner than later but it's been a while since Zeff had his treatments, but what do I know?"

"Still a pretty shitty situation."

"Agreed," Sanji sighed, "And now I feel like I have to go back and look after the restaurant while he's going through this. God knows Patty and Carne can't do it as well as I can."

"Did he ask you to come back?"

Sanji laughed, "No, he would never ask something like that, especially what with how I left. But I don't think he would object to my coming back to handle things while he's not well."

"What do you mean, how exactly did you leave?" The topic had been mentioned before in passing but as of yet the blond had refused to elaborate on his leaving home.

"Uh, I sort of had a mental breakdown," Sanji admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. No real reason to deny it now if he planned on going back home anyway. Plus, he trusted Zoro, not that it was anyone's business.

It had happened shortly after he started getting the headaches. Stress was piling up and Sanji somehow found himself at his breaking point. He was a ticking time bomb of crazy. It had all come to a pinocle when Sanji was standing in the kitchen cutting onions.

Someone was putting up a new shelf on the wall, they were using an electric drill to set it up. At the time Sanji hand been feeling lightheaded, the kitchen was feeling too hot, and his head was filled with pressure. When he heard the drill turn on he completely freaked out. His mind went into total panic mode. Swaying slightly, he dropped the knife he was using to cut up a plum and stumbled back, his chest tightening. The sound of drilling seemed to be penetrating his skull, he couldn't breath. He slipped and fell back against the wall behind him. Everything felt weird, too clear and like he was being squeezed through a tube. By this time people had started to notice his odd behavior. Someone reached out to him, he still didn't know who, everything was muddled.

"Are you alright?" they asked, but as soon as they touched him he jerked back with a frightened cry. Someone must have run off to tell Zeff because the large blond man stomped in, grabbed him by the shoulders and dragged him upstairs, to the area where he lived. Sanji used to live there as well but he had moved out a few years ago.

Once they were out of the eyes of the kitchen staff Sanji broke down into hysterical sobs. He didn't even know why he was crying or what was going on, it was terrifying he felt completely out of control. Then to make matters even worse he had a minor seizure and woke up completely drained but no longer panicky.

After that Zeff wanted him to go back to seeing his old therapist but he had refused. He tried going back to work but he felt off, something was wrong. Being in the Baratie made him want to tear off his own skin. That was when he got the idea to go away for awhile. Just for a few months, maybe a year. Figure things out, get a easy and low stress job, and then maybe he would feel better about going back. Maybe he would find something better out there, all he knew was that he couldn't be in this place anymore. So, he picked a random place and decided to go. He actually made his choice when a commercial for a new Cedar Point ride came on with a view of the lake.

Zeff hadn't been against him leaving per se, he had implored him to stay and talk to a professional but aside from that no objection. Hopefully he would be ready to come back, although now that he had friends he was reluctant to leave. Amazing what friends can do to a person.

"Why the hell would that make you come here?" Zoro asked in confusion.

"I needed to get away for awhile and this is what happened." He didn't need to know the exact details, they were slightly embarrassing.

"So do you plan on going back then?" The idea made Zoro's stomach churn for some reason.

"I probably should, although, I am starting to get really attached to this place. I kinda don't want to leave, but I should get back to my real job because I think I can handle it now, I haven't freaked out since then, and if I don't go now then I don't think I ever will. I mean, no offense to Nami but being her bartender hasn't been the highlight of my professional career," He sighed in frustration.

"I'm sure everyone would miss you if you left." Zoro said, it was the truth.

"That include you, marimo?" A cheeky little smile worked it's way onto Sanji's stupid blond face.

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Excluding me, obviously."

"Right, obviously," he hummed, "I guess I should quit at the bar then. Nami will have to find another bartender. I think I'll miss that place."

"If you're going to leave then Luffy's going to want to throw you a going away party, just so you know."

"Well, then I guess I should wait a week or so before I leave, eh?" He was pouring things into a pan as he spoke.

"Yeah..."

Sanji put the casserole into the oven, it would be another fifteen minutes before it was done.

"What, nothing you can think of to make me stay?" Sanji joked.

"What if I confessed my undying love for you?" Zoro offered, "Or recited Shakespearian sonnets in your honour?"

Sanji snorted, "What, you think I'd choose you over my cancer riddled adopted father? That's pretty presumptuous of you."

"You know you can't resist my manly charm." Zoro struck a pose.

"Oh yeah," Sanji said, patting Zoro's muscular bicep, "I can hardly contain myself. Now, mister man, could you go fetch that little bottle over there." He pointed at a little pill bottle on one of the cabinets.

"What is it?" Zoro asked, giving it a shake.

"I told you I have to take medication for my seizures. They aren't that big a deal, I've bad enough to take medication but only just and only when the symptoms start showing. But they seriously suck, trust me."

"What are they like?"

"They feel weird. Sometimes I don't know they're coming and I wake up with no idea what happened but I feel sore all over." It was frustrating that after so long they had come back, he didn't think he'd have to deal with this anymore.

"Shouldn't you go see a doctor or something? What if your brain's fucked up."

"My brain was already fucked up and either way they probably couldn't fix me anyway. Plus, they examined my brain like a month ago anyway. You remember, you were there," he said dismissively.

"You're only saying that because you don't want to go to the doctors," Zoro accused.

"Not true, I would say that even if I didn't hate the doctor's cold probing hands."

"You make it sound like a doctor molested you at some point. That's not what happened, right? Because I've been trying to figure it out and that is one of the ideas I had."

"If a doctor molested me I think that would be the end. At that point I would have had to deal with so much shit I would just stop living right there."

"Not all doctors are bad, right?"

"No, Chopper is fine. I don't know why you of all people are defending the doctors of the world. I'm pretty sure you could accidentally cut yourself in two and then somehow sew yourself back together to convince everyone that your fine and you don't need a doctor."

"If I can sew myself together like that I probably don't need a doctor. The government might seek me out as a super hero."

"Marimo man to the rescue. What is your ultimate ability, mister hero? You seem like a Hercules guy."

"I would have super strength and I would be pretty much invincible."

"Ugh, that's so boring." Sanji wrinkled his nose.

"Oh, and what would your super hero power be then, curly brow?"

"My leg would catch on fire when I kicked people, only when I wanted it to though."

"You would catch your clothes on fire."

"I would wear a fire proof suit."

"That sounds expensive."

"But worth it. Also fire proof, indestructible shoes."

"Obviously. I think we would make pretty awesome superheroes. We would have to be a part of league or something because we couldn't be partners."

"Why not? Am I intolerable to work with?" Sanji asked in offense.

"Yeah, we would probably start fighting and the bad guy would get away."

Sanji snorted, "I guess I can't really argue on that one. That would definitely happen, no question about it. Plus, we would have to argue over who was the sidekick."

"Honestly, I don't think that either of us could be sidekicks and superheroes don't work together, unless they're the Avengers."

"Bah, the Avengers kind of suck. I'm not all about comic books. Well, I guess when I was little I did have a collection of Far Side comics. But that isn't really a comic book, it's a book of comics."

"Meh, I liked Calvin and Hobbes more as a kid."

Sanji found it ever so slightly amusing to imagine Zoro as little kid in the back of Koshiro's martial arts training facility reading Calvin and Hobbes. If it were anyone but Zoro it might be cute.

Zoro let out a long sigh, "So, you're seriously going to leave?"

"It would seem that way, yes. All good things must come to their natural end and this seems like the natural place to depart."

"But if you like it here then why would you want it to end?"

"I don't but there are a lot of other things to consider, not just my current happiness."

"That's depressing. What goes on in your head to make you say bad things about yourself?"

"Nothing," Sanji said in irritation, "Are you actually trying to convince me to stay? I thought that you wanted me out so you could drink in peace."

"I'm just trying to understand why you want to go."

"Right. I forgot, you aren't interested in things like caring about people," he said sarcastically.

"Exactly, so when I ask; is there any way to get you to stay? I do it out of curiosity and not out of any other reason."

The blond chuckled, "Okay, fair enough but to answer your question I don't there is. There's only so much time I can spend here doing nothing." He gave a sad smile.

"You say that but I could kidnap you and chain you up in a little hidie hole somewhere. Then you would be my... I don't know, something creepy and fucked up. I wanted to say slave but I thought that sounded too suggestive."

"I would be your bitch," Sanji supplied generously.

"Eh, it still doesn't seem like what I was looking for but you can call it whatever you want."

"I want none of that and as a friend I'm worried that this was your first thought when I say I'm going home."

"I would be too, but that's not the point. The point I was making is that nothing is impossible. You say that it's impossible to make you stay and I say not if I chain you up and make you my bitch, bitch."

Sanji kicked him in the gut, "Well, I'm now defiantly leaving."

"Good, because now I want you to go," Zoro said, holding his stomach.

The timer then went off and the casserole was finished. It was fucking amazing of course, even though Zoro burnt his tongue on it. So worth it. After breakfast the two spent the rest if the day hanging out.

XxxX

A/N: Cancer sucks, guys, but things are happening and the build up is killing me. And I'm allowed to mock cancer stuff without feeling too bad because my mom has cancer (or had, I never get told things) , just so you don't think I'm being too insensitive, even when I probably am ^^

Also, I recently discovered it's fun to actually post things on tumblr, so if you like really lazy doodle mostly concerning One Piece I'm opens-up-4-nobody *awkward cough* so anyway...

Thanks.


	8. Don't Apply Compression Gently

You have hurt my head but I'm not denying  
That I did not bring it on myself  
I take pieces of myself from everyone around me  
I'm not individual enough for you  
I replicate the people I admire  
But at least I'm not bitter and sad

-"Don't Apply Compression Gently" Courtney Barnett

XxxX

On Monday Sanji approached Nami about the Zeff situation and his plan to move back to Columbus. She seemed unhappy about it and Sanji hated to make a lady unhappy but sometimes people have to do things they don't like. He would be working for the next two weeks and then he would be leaving. It worked out well because Zeff didn't start any treatments for two weeks anyway.

Soon after that Luffy found out of his plans and, sure enough, he wanted to throw a going away party the following Saturday. It was a nice gesture, Sanji enjoyed the fact that he had friends here and he really did not want to leave. The party was again arranged at Luffy's although this time Sanji turned up early to cook in his house, which was even more difficult than he imagined it would be. His kitchen was small, there wasn't much in there, and Luffy was constantly being a counter shark, just waiting for something to be left out unattended.

Everyone was there; Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, Nami, Brook, Johnny, Yosaku, and even Chopper pulled himself away from school to say goodbye. Chopper obviously had a lot to talk about with him, seeing as he was becoming a doctor- he didn't want to be an oncologist, but he still found the situation interesting. Terrible, very terrible but very interesting as well. They talked about it for a while, while Sanji was setting out the food.

The idle conversation was interrupted when Luffy brought out the party poppers and began to pop them two at a time while he cheered loudly. Sanji's first worry was that he would set off the fire alarm but when that did not happen he was relieved. Also slightly worried that Luffy's fire alarm might not be one hundred percent up to code.

Then there were the streamers that were now all over his head, trying to fall into his food. He quickly snatched it off of his head and chased Luffy out of the kitchen, just to be safe.

Brook played music and everyone got drunk. Johnny and Yosaku started badly singing along with the guitar, even when they didn't know what was being played they made something fit. It was highly amusing. Usopp told outlandish stories about how the last boat he had fixed up (he had a hobby of fixing boats in his spare time) had been a ghosts ship and he had to exorcize the spirits away. Luffy ate the rest of the food and joined Johnny and Yosaku in singing. Nami told Sanji that she would miss him working for her because her last bartender was a douche and now she had to find another. Zoro watched from the couch with a sulky expression on his face.

At one point during the night Sanji had sat down next to him in an effort to start a conversation. His conversations with Zoro were something he looked forward to when he was bored. Not that he was bored now, right now he was the center of attention, right now he was looking for conversation as an attempt to get away from that attention.

When he sat down Zoro did not acknowledge his existence in the slightest. He just kept sitting there with that stupid scowl on his face, drinking his stupid alcohol, and poisoning his stupid liver. Sanji was tempted to just get up and talk to someone who would appreciate his conversation but he was feeling a little lightheaded so he should probably sit down anyway, or so he told himself.

Instead he took a noise maker that Luffy had insisted on buying a shit ton of, and set it in his mouth like a cigarette... More like a cigar but he would stuck with what he was used to. He waited a few moments, bouncing it up and down in his mouth so his plan was not totally transparent. Then he turned and promptly blew into the annoying party accessory, leaning in close enough for the end to unfurl against Zoro's cheek. Disappointingly, it did not make a sound beyond a pathetic hissing of his breath.

It didn't matter anyway because as soon as it had touched his face Zoro grabbed it and yanked it out of his mouth, tearing off the paper end.

"Aw, you broke it," Sanji pouted, staring sadly at the poor, colorful pieces of cardboard and paper. He was more upset that he had picked up a defective one in the first place.

"You blew it I'm my face," Zoro said through gritted teeth. He did not appreciate that.

"But it didn't make any noise."

"That's right, but if it had I would have shoved it down your throat, instead of tearing it in half."

At that moment a very drunk Nami leaned over the back of the chair. "That's not the only thing you want to shove down his throat, am I right?" She giggled hysterically.

"Nami, noooooooooo," Sanji said weakly, "Whyyyyy?"

"'Cause I'm a voodoo, romance wizard," she said with a dramatic flip of her hair. Then she got distracted by Luffy sucking air out of helium balloons and wandered off in that direction

While Sanji looked humiliated Zoro just looked like he was in pain. Not physical pain, the kind of pain one gets when witnessing something gross like parents making out with each other.

Sanji put his face in his hands. "Welp, now that I've been forced to imagine that scenario I feel like I should leave the bubble of awkward that just developed but I won't."

"Ugh, telling me that you just imagined it makes it about three times as awkward so I'm going to take the initiative and ditch you." He moved to get up.

"Wait, it only made it like twice as awkward, I swear." Sanji protested but Zoro had moved toward Brook and away from him. Whatever, he was no fun anyway.

Some time later Luffy found three cans if unopened silly string under his sink while he was looking for paper towels. He had pink, blue, and yellow. He took two cans for himself, shaking them heavily, and handed the third to Usopp.

Because Sanji would be leaving them the least they could do was shower him in their affections and by affections they meant a weird slimy sting made for children. They crept up on him casually. He was talking with Chopper. When Chopper saw them coming he knew something was up and Sanji noticed the strange look on Chopper's face in confusion. Before he could turn around he was blasted by silly string.

There were about fifteen seconds where his brain just could not compute what was going on but as soon as those seconds had passed he started chasing after them. They did not relent in their spraying and it was soon Sanji who was running away in search of refuge. There were many misfires and many onlookers were shot down in the line of fire but it was worth it to get Sanji's hair full of pink silly string.

Despite how annoying Luffy was being, how embarrassing everyone else was being, Sanji felt at home while he was there. Why did this suddenly have to be so hard? He should have thought about this before he decided to come here. Except he was happy with the choice he had made and he would be terribly upset with himself if he had stayed home. Who knows what would have happened? He could never find out unless he found a alternate universe portal or he used his imagination. He felt a lump forming in his throat. He would miss these people, he couldn't remember the last time he'd had friends he wasn't obligated to like.

When everyone decided it was time to leave it was around twelve thirty. They were all at least slightly drunk, more leaning toward very drunk to be honest. The goodbye was made all the more dramatic by the alcohol.

As they were all parting ways Sanji was enveloped in a big group hug. Even Zoro got involved. Mostly because Nami grabbed him by the neck and pushed him forward but he was still there and that was what's important, right?

He had to pry Luffy off of his shirt when he was leaving. He could almost forget that he still had a week before he actually had to leave. It made his heart ache to have to leave them just to walk down the road to his apartment, although it was also slightly annoying so he did kick Luffy in the head before Chopper dragged him off. With that done Sanji and Zoro walked in the same direction for a while. They were at first walking in silence, Zoro had been quiet all evening.

"Hey, moss head, sad I'm leaving?" Sanji jested.

"No, I'm glad you're going. You were always an asshole," Zoro grumbled.

"Yeah, but you're still going to miss me. I mean, look at the pouty expression on your face." Sanji grabbed Zoro's cheeks and squished them together, earning himself a very hard punch in the arm. Ouch.

"If it's any consolation I'll miss you too," Sanji said, rubbing his poor hurt arm. "We should have one last fight tomorrow, while Koshiro is out to lunch."

"Fine, let's do that."

"Geez, no need to sound so excited about it. You're being so grumpy about this, seriously. I can remember a time when you would have been excited for me to leave."

"Who says in not still excited?"

"Um, the expression on your stupid face, dick head."

"Shut up," Zoro shoved him, "You don't know my face."

Sanji shoved him back. "Oh yes, I do and your face is telling me 'Sanji, don't go! You are amazing and I'll die if you leave me.'" He flailed dramatically.

"Is my face a melodramatic teenage girl?" Zoro asked in suspicion.

Sanji shuddered at the throughout of a young female face on Zoro's body, "God, I hope not." It was then that Sanji realized that Zoro had followed him home. Really he should have noticed before but is observational skills were pretty lacking at the moment. Sanji shrugged to himself, grabbed Zoro by the arm and dragged him inside.

"Want anything to eat?" Sanji asked when they were inside despite it being so late.

Zoro shook his head, kicked off his shoes and laid on the couch, turning the tv on. Sanji pouted at the sight of a marimo taking up his entire couch.

"That's my couch," he whined, suddenly he felt like bursting into tears or throwing a fit like a small child.

"Don't care."

Sanji then decided that he really wanted to sit on that couch and sat down in the spot when Zoro's body dipped back. He leaned back, watching the little people run around on the screen. He sighed, he would miss this. Zoro crashing at his house out of nowhere, he really didn't even mind. Also, he would miss awkwardly touching him like this and pretending not to notice he was doing it. He noticed all right, he defiantly noticed.

"Hey, Zoro," Sanji said quietly, "I'll miss you." He had a strange expression on his face. "You and that stupid green hair of yours." He lifted a hand to those luxurious green locks, running his fingers through them. Weird, but Zoro did not protest.

"Yeah, me too."

"What, you're going to miss yourself or your hair? Because I think I might actually get upset if you dyed your hair a different color or if you went bald, just saying. Don't go bald, marimo, I will lose what's left of my brain."

"You know what I meant," said Zoro brushing away the hand.

Sanji hummed in agreement. "I guess, at least you don't smell like silly string unlike me," Sanji chuckled, sniffing at his hair. It had that weird silly string smell like paint and something wet. It wasn't exactly unpleasant but it was odd.

"You still have some in your hair," Zoro said, pulling at a strand of pink silly string tangled up in the back of Sanji's unusually messy hair.

"I should probably wash that out. Well, maybe not. I don't want it dissolving into my hair or something. I'll just brush it out," Sanji reasoned.

"Yeah, you do that," Zoro said sleepily.

Sanji gave a happily little sigh, getting up from his seat, "Right, well, I'm going to bed then." He preformed a sloppily carried out bow. "Goodnight to you, sir."

"Fuck off."

In the morning the smell of pancakes wafted heavily through the air and up Zoro's sleepy little nose. It seemed he only ever awoke to good things at Sanji's house. He sat up suddenly, at first not quite sure where he was. For half a second he considered the option that maybe he'd fallen asleep in a pancake house, honestly, it wouldn't actually be that surprising. But no, he was just at Sanji's. And oh look, Sanji was bringing him a plate of pancakes like any good housewife should.

"Have you ever considered becoming a housewife? Because you would be really good at it," Zoro said sleepily.

Sanji stopped walking and gave him a blank look. "I'm going to ignore that and not break this plate over your head because I am a very good person."

"Good," Zoro grabbed his pancakes and began to eat while Sanji went back to retrieve his plate, coming back to sit in the arm chair.

"Hey," Sanji said, "Next Saturday you should help me move."

"Why?" asked Zoro through a mouthful of pancakes.

"You are a strongman, right? I mean those muscles aren't just for show, are they?" He knew they weren't, those muscles were built for lifting rocks and punching faces. Just looking at them made him want to growl and jump around, flexing like an idiot.

"No, they are not, so are there any heavy things you want me to carry for you, little girl?"

Sanji winced. "Ouch, so many shots at my masculinity today, I don't know if I can take it. I'd probably be more upset if I wasn't going to kick your ass later."

"Sure you will." Zoro drawled.

"So you'll help me move then?"

"Yeah, I've been told that I make good manual labor."

"Great, you can help me load the moving truck, I already have pretty much everything in boxes, so it won't be hard. If you really wanted you could help me move back into the Baratie."

"Now I'm starting to think you just want excuses to have me around."

"Psh, whaaaaat? There's no way I'd admit to anything like that."

"Suspicions confirmed, I'm just too awesome to be let go of."

"Ugh, shut the fuck up."

That afternoon they had their final little training battle. Sanji won the fight making their number of wins tied.

XxxX

Zoro got up early on the next Saturday and went over to Sanji's, the truck was already outside the building. As soon as he was spotted he was handed boxes and told to load then up. It took less than an hour of mindless lifting to get everything out. It made Sanji realized that he didn't have much in the way of material things, but that was okay.

The two set out on the road by eight, Sanji driving. The drive to Columbus would be about two hours and thirty minutes.

"Are you sure you should be driving, what with the seizures?" Zoro asked.

"It's fine, I only had like one or two and I'm the one who knows where we're going. I mean, I should probably go to a doctor but, as you know, that's not happening. Besides, not having a license is annoying. I had to wait forever to get my driving permit, although that wasn't really what I was worried about then..." he trailed off with an irritated look on his face.

"High school suck for you?" Zoro guessed.

"It wasn't great, no." Sanji nodded.

"I bet you were one of the nerds," Zoro joked.

Sanji looked offended, "Do I look like a nerd to you?"

"Alright, no, maybe not in the traditional sense," he admitted, "Then what were you?"

"I was busy." Sanji stated "No time for friends outside school. I had to work at the Baratie when I got home and everything. I managed to keep my grades up, though."

"My grades were not great but I didn't fail anything, so I was a slacker but not the biggest loser. At least I did better than Luffy." Luffy was one of the kids who would distract everyone during class and get kicked out.

"You were in high school with Luffy?"

"Yeah, that's how we met. Ussop and Nami went to my high school as well. Nami actually moved here from Florida junior year." Zoro explained. He didn't have a bad time in high school, it was annoying but it wasn't bad.

"Really?" Sanji laughed, "Figures she would come from the sunshine state."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, she's just so dazzlingly gorgeous she could outshine the sun," Sanji gushed. Zoro was slightly worried that he would crash the car from all that noodling around.

"Shut up, she's not that pretty," Zoro scoffed, knowing he was asking for it.

"Take it back! It's treason, you will be hanged. Don't let yourself be hanged, take it back!"

"Stop being such a spaz. What is your deal with girls anyway?"

"I don't know, I just think you should appreciate her friendship more. At least you had close friends in school. Fuck, I don't even want to think about school. Why are we talking about this?" Sanji scowled.

"What, you didn't have any friends? Not one?" Zoro found that a little hard to believe given Sanji's people's person persona. Sure, he didn't have many friends now, but in high school you are surrounded by people your age. It's nearly impossible to have absolutely no friends. You have to actually put effort into it.

Sanji shook his head, "It's not that I didn't have friends. I just didn't have close friends. It was more like if they disappeared in a non-traumatic way I wouldn't really give a shit but while they were around they were okay. I was close with one guy for a while but then his asshole friends were assholes and some shit went down and I had to beat them all up."

"What the fuck did they do?" Zoro wondered aloud.

Sanji groaned, "Junior year was fucking sucky and horrible for me. I would not go back to being fifteen if you paid me."

Zoro felt like there was something more to that than just hating school. "Why's that?" Usually Sanji wouldn't answer questions like this but maybe if he was going away he would be more open.

Sanji's eyes did not leave the stretch of empty farm roads in front of him. "The summer before that year started some shit happened and when we went back to school everyone was weird around me. Plus, I was having some other problems."

"Wait, what happened that summer?" He was being cryptic and general, it was really annoying. He was such a tease.

"Uh," he hesitated. He really didn't want to talk about it but he had brought it up and this was going to be their final goodbye, at least for now, why not tell him? "Well, I sort of got kidnapped."

"You were- What the fuck? Life really likes to fuck you over. How the hell did that happen?" Zoro sputtered.

"I don't really remember how it happened. I remember bright lights and then darkness, but that's it. I don't even know." He averted his eyes like a liar. "It was the middle if the night and I was taken from a hotel room. The police said that someone must have been staking me, they knew how to get in without disturbing things-"

"Wait, hang on, someone? Are you saying they were never caught?" The police could seem astoundingly ineffectual sometimes.

Sanji cast him an irritated look, "I'm getting around to telling you, let me finish my story. It's very traumatic for me, asshole."

"Yeah, sorry, go on." Zoro waved his hand.

"Anyway, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted. I was taken in the middle of the night by someone. The Amber Alert went out, everyone was freaking out about it. As people do when shit like this happens. I was missing for twenty-seven days. By that time people started to think I was dead because most kidnapping cases end with death in the first twenty-four hours and there was absolutely nothing to go on. Then I turned up only about an hour and a half from home."

"Where was that?"

"One of the state parks down in Hockinghills, just in the middle of the woods. That I remember very well. I don't remember anything from the time I was missing. Suddenly, I was just standing in the middle of the woods in my pajamas. It didn't help that it was the middle of the night. It was probably the most terrified I've ever been in my entire life," he gave a slight shudder.

He remembered the cool night air around him and the occasional shuffling of leaves that would make him freeze in his tracks. Only a deer, he would tell himself but he didn't really know. It could have been anything, there were so many things out there, and none of them he could see. Everything looked the same in the dark and everything was terrifying, it seemed to go on forever. Eventually, he tripped over something and went sprawling onto his face, after that he curled up and didn't move until it was light out.

It was the worst night ever. Huddled up against a tree shaking in fright. Too afraid to move, let alone to open his eyes. Suddenly, every scary story he had ever heard was dancing though his mind; mocking him sadistically. The night lasted too long and by the time the sun came up his eyes were painful from the crying. It wasn't very dignified to be crying when you were nearly an adult, but that wasn't important in that moment. What was important was getting the fuck out of the dark and into the god damn light.

The day hadn't been much better. He still jumped at every little noise, flinched at every passing deer. He stumbled around blindly; tripping over roots, getting caught in thorns, running through nettles, and dragging himself forward. Everything was too quiet, it's like he was waiting for something, for someone, to swoop in and tear him away from this unfamiliar place. He knew he didn't want to go back but he didn't want to be here either. He didn't know what he wanted.

"You were missing for almost a month and you don't remember anything?" Zoro asked incredulously, startling him out of his thoughts. Could the mind really do something like that? Zoro knew it did mysterious things but that seemed absurd.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing." Liar. "That's why it was so scary; one minute I was in bed and the next I'm lost in the woods. It was two days before I even ran into anyone, I finally found a hiking trail and ran into some runner guy who brought be back down the trail and got me to a phone. His dog scared the ever loving shit out of me when it jumped on me. I started bawling like a little kid. Then the police took over everything and I had to tell them over and over that I didn't know what happened. The doctors said that I repressed my memories or something. I don't know, it couldn't have been so bad because I was in such good condition when they found me.

"I had to see a psychologist after that and everyone looked at me like a freak. It was just really shitty."

"Fucking hell, no wonder you're such a weirdo!" The swordsman exclaimed, a childhood like that was enough to fuck anyone up.

"Hey! That's a really insensitive thing to say. I haven't even told you the really freaky thing yet. They found me in the same place they found me in when I was five but back then I was actually on the hiking path."

"You're lying," Zoro accused, feeling the hairs on his arms rise at the creepy implications.

"Nope, I'm serious. That time they found me in the summer too. And I have to live in fear that it might happen again because they never caught whoever did it." Sanji said in a creepy voice.

"Holy shit, that is genuinely terrifying."

"I know. Life just kind of sucks a lot of the time. And when I got back to school there were a lot of rumors floating around about what happened. When the police first found me I was starving, thirsty, and confused so I said some weird things and it just wasn't good," he grimaced, thinking back to school.

"What the fuck did you say? It must have been something really weird because I feel like normal school kids would just feel bad for you." Teenaged were often portrayed as insensitive and self centered, and that was true to an extent but when something traumatic happens the kind majority step up.

"Nothing, I don't want to talk about it. I'd rather just forget about it. But this is the part where by friend's asshole friends come in."

"Great, this sounds promising."

"Shut up and listen to my depressing story, marimo, I'm only going to tell it once." Sanji snapped, "So my friend, Gin, used to sit with me at lunch and he was one of the kids who got the shitty free lunches because his family was poor and then his lunch was always stolen by this douche, so I brought him better food so he wouldn't have to stomach that shit if he got any at all. Anyway, after that summer I was getting harassed by people and Gin's friends happened to be some of those people. I was taking the bus home and they followed me because I guess they thought they were going to scare me or something. They had Gin attack me just to add insult to injury, which sucked. Anyway it kind of backfired because I totally freaked the fuck out and kicked the shit out of them. I didn't do much to Gin, though. I still think he's a good guy, he just had shitty friends and he was too loyal to them. He apologized afterward but we didn't hang out after that anymore.

"Anyway, on a less depressing note after high school I went to culinary school and here I am."

"After having a breakdown and moving way from home." Zoro finished for him.

"Yeah, everyone has their mental baggage, some more than others..." Sanji sniffed, fuck his nose was starting to bleed. "Fuck. I think I put tissues in your side door, can you get them for me?"

Zoro reached down and tossed over the package if tissues, which Sanji pressed to his nose. It was starting off heavy, not a very good sign. After a few minutes Sanji found a place to pull over.

"Hey, I need you to drive so I can stop this," he said with his nose pinched. They switched places, a move that made Sanji nervous for their timing.

The bleeding took thirteen minutes to stop and it was fairly heavy, by the time it was done Sanji felt slightly lightheaded.

"You alright?" Zoro asked glancing over at Sanji, who was holding his head.

"Yeah," Sanji said slowly, "I'm fine, my head's just swimming a little."

"Are you sure, because you look like you are about to pass out."

"I'm fine, don't worry. Just focus on driving," Sanji said resting his head against the window with his eyes half closed. He watched the flat land whizz by. All those big fields full of corn and soybeans. Sometimes Sanji felt like when he was in a car looking out the window he was actually just watching a projection and he wasn't actually going anywhere. Then people behind the scenes were changing the background to fit where he was going. He was just waiting for that moment where everything came together and he found out that really his life was a big Twilight Zone style experiment to determine a human being's capacity to... Something. There was always something they were testing for.

That is if he was even human. He could be some foreign being living in this for as part of the experiment. Maybe that's what they were testing.

All silly thoughts aside, Zoro and Sanji didn't talk much after that. When they got into Columbus Sanji directed Zoro around to the Baratie, a thoroughly frustrating experience.

As they neared their destination Sanji remembered that Zoro would be meeting Zeff. That could end up going very well or very badly, it would most certainly be humiliating for him either way. Should he have said something? Nah, this was sink or swim territory and Zoro looked like a pretty good swimmer. What with those big strong muscles of his, although swimmers seemed to be more slight than Zoro was. They also had long arms and large feet and hands, an odd looking lot. And muscle mass didn't have anything to do with whether or not one can swim, they just made people pretty to look at. Or disgusting. Zoro definitely did not fall into that category. What was he thinking about before Zoro's muscles distracted him? It didn't matter, probably not that important.

XxxX

A/N: The state park Sanji was found in is the fourth most popular tourist attraction in Ohio. It looks pretty from the pictures.

*giggles* and the plot thickens.

Thanks.


	9. Do I Wanna Know

Have you no idea that you're in deep  
I dreamt about you near me every night this week  
How many secrets can you keep'  
'Cause there's this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow  
When I play it on repeat  
Until I fall asleep  
Spilling drinks on my settee

(Do I wanna know?)

If this feeling flows both ways  
(Sad to see you go)  
Was sorta hoping that you'd stay  
(Baby we both know)  
That the nights were mainly made for saying  
things that you can't say tomorrow day

-"Do I Wanna Know" Arctic Monkeys

XxxX

They managed to get a parking spot not far from the Baratie. After parking the car they started toward the restaurant. Before they went in Sanji turned to Zoro.

"Before we go in I feel I must say that I don't know what will happen but whatever it is, I claim no responsibility," he said very seriously, his face held the expression of someone about to subject themself to something very painful.

"That's reassuring, thanks," Zoro said uneasily.

With that they pushed on inside. It appeared not to be an especially busy day at the Baratie. Sanji felt very comfortable walking through the doors but the presence of Zoro was throwing him off. Patty was the first to spot them, he was busy being the greeter and when he saw them he looked shocked.

"Sanji!" he exclaimed, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm back, loser. Don't yell, you'll upset the customers," Sanji scolded cooly.

"Does Zeff know?" Patty asked at a softer volume but his expression was no less obnoxious.

"Of course Zeff knows," the blond scoffed, "We planned all this out like two weeks ago. It's good to know that he didn't bother to tell anyone."

"Who's your friend there?" Patty asked, turning his gaze to Zoro.

Sanji fought the urge to somehow hide him behind his back. Something about that tone made him feel overly defensive of Zoro. "He's no one, don't bother him," he hissed pushing past the greeter and back toward the kitchen. On their way a few of waiters going in and out gawked at them.

Inside people were bustling around, shouting, and cooking. Normally if he walked into the kitchen like this Sanji would start screaming at them but right now he needed to find Zeff and he was most likely in his little back office.

Sanji grabbed Zoro's wrist and dragged him toward the office, ignoring anyone who called out to him. He knocked once on the door and then walk inside. Zeff was sitting at his desk writing something down. He looked up when his door was shoved open.

"What are you doing in here, brat?" Zeff drawled, going back to whatever very important thing he was doing.

"I'm telling you that I'm here. Thought you might want to know," Sanji stated dryly.

"I didn't want you here in the first place," Zeff growled at him, the ungrateful bastard.

"Well, I don't give a shit, you've got me now. I can take over for whatever joker you've given my job tomorrow." He wondered how badly they'd messed things up. His ego was telling him that no one could do a better job than him and his insecurities were begging him to validate his worth and talent.

"What, you think I'm just going to let you have your job back after you left?" Zeff scoffed.

Sanji huffed in irritation, "I'm back now and I'm positive I'm better than anyone else here."

He smirked, and finally lifted his eyes to the two people in the room, "Not better than me, little eggplant."

Sanji stiffened at the nickname, and tsked at the implication of the words although he knew they rang true. "Whatever. I'm going to start bringing stuff up to the house. I'm going to kick your employees if they get in my way."

"Not so fast there, eggplant, who's this green haired guy your holding hands with?" Zeff asked, his eyes on Zoro.

They weren't holding hands but Sanji hadn't let go of Zoro's wrist. His grip was actually quite painful. Sanji dropped the contact like he was burnt. "This is Zoro, he's going to be my manual labor for the day," he said quickly.

"Oh, did you go off and get a boyfriend while you were gone?" Zeff snorted with a raised eyebrow, there was nothing more satisfying than humiliating Sanji in the way that only a parent could.

"What? No! Shut the fuck up! Don't do this to me!" he pleaded, placing his hands over his ears to try blocking out the embarrassment.

"Because that sounds like a very boyfriend like thing to do," the old chef continued, "This calls for a proper introduction."

"No, no it doesn't. We have to go now," Sanji said, his voice ever so slightly higher with panic as he tugged on Zoro's arm.

"Oi, you, boy." Zeff pointed at Zoro, "Don't break his heart, he's very delicate and he'll come crying to me. I don't want to have to deal with that shit." Zoro could defiantly tell where Sanji had picked up his attitude from.

Sanji looked positively horrified, "Okay, no. Goodbye. Zoro, move your ass," Sanji shouted, shoving the cackling swordsman out the door.

"That was-" Zoro began through his laughter, looking back at the office.

Sanji stopped him, "Just shut the fuck up, don't even look at me. I hate that guy."

"But you're so much alike," Zoro pointed out, snickering at Sanji's sour expression.

"Kindly shut the hell up before I hurt you. Let's go get my stuff." He stomped off to the truck to start getting things unloaded.

It took maybe forty-five minutes to get everything inside. The time was filled by a lot of sideways glances and raised eyebrows from the Baratie staff. Zoro wasn't sure if these were about the fact that he was here or if they had to do with how Sanji had left. Either way it was weird. When all that was said had done it was twelve thirty, lunchtime. Sanji sighed at this realization, he wished that he could cook for them but what with his just arriving and the fact that he had someone with him would make that inconvenient. Then again Zeff probably hand enough food in the fridge upstairs to make something decent and he didn't want to deal with anyone right now.

Sanji looked through the fridge, looking for something substantial and convenient. Eh, sandwiches would be fine for now. Zoro stood around in the doorway looking awkward. It was making Sanji nervous.

"You," Sanji pointed to him dramatically, "go sit down." He shifted his finger to one of the wooden chairs in the little dining room area.

Zoro dragged over a chair and sat down. "Why don't you just order something from downstairs?" he asked.

Sanji scoffed at the ludicrous suggestion, "Don't be silly, my pride will not allow it."

"Fair enough. Are they always so chaotic?" When they had been walking by Zoro had seen the chaos lurking in the kitchen, the cooks in there looked more like convicts than chefs.

"No, that's why I have to knock their heads together," Sanji explained, rolling his eyes. They weren't that bad, but then again he was used to their behavior.

"I can see why you would take a less stressful job for a while," Zoro mused, leaning back in his chair. It was interesting to watch Sanji interact with the people he had grown up around. He could see where he got some of his mannerisms from. Not the most conventional home but Zoro got the feeling he grew up being cared for whether he knew it or not.

"I don't know, it seemed not stressful enough most of the time but I grew up with that. I guess a break was probably good for me. It's kind of weird to be back, you know. Especially with you here." having Zoro here was like picking a character out of a movie and sticking them in a different movie. It was kind of cool but something about it felt off.

"Mm, it is an interesting place. I think this is the fanciest restaurant I've ever been it." He'd never wanted to go into a fancy restaurant anyway.

"That's probably because if you weren't with me you'd be thrown out." Sanji knew that he wouldn't really be thrown out but he would probably get some snooty looks from the classy people around him.

"Do I not fit the dress code?" He asked gesturing to his jeans and hoody. It didn't exactly scream 'look how fucking fancy I am'.

Sanji looked at the outfit very closely. "Not exactly, but you wouldn't look like yourself in a fancy outfit."

"I'd look so cool in fancy clothes that your eyes would melt just from looking at me," Zoro announced, jabbing his finger at Sanji to capitalize on his point.

"Is that right? Care to test that theory? I get the feeling you would look like a mobster in a fancy suit." That didn't mean he wouldn't look good, he was avoiding the point.

"I would test it but I don't have the money for blow on a suit that I would wear just to prove a point." And he doubted that he would fit into one of Sanji's, they had different builds.

"Fine, next time you are wearing a suit call me and I will come check you out... That sounded weirder than I thought it would." Sanji made an awkwardly apologetic face.

Zoro snorted, "Now I think that you secretly think I would look good all dressed up."

Sanji stuck out his tongue, "Think what you want, that doesn't make it true." He held out the finished sandwich to Zoro. "Savor this sandwich, it is the last food I will be making you for a while, if not forever," he warned.

Zoro made a disappointed sound, "Are you planning on disappearing as mysteriously as you arrived, this time for good?" he whined.

Sanji's brows furrowed. "I don't think I mysteriously showed up, I just became Nami's bartender. That's not exactly very mysterious," he reasoned.

"I guess not but you're pretty mysterious." he asserted, taking a bite of his sandwich. Merciful heavens, Sanji must be a food god because no one could make a regular sandwich taste so good.

"Am I?" Sanji wasn't one to call himself 'mysterious'. Charming or slightly insane, maybe, but not mysterious. It sounded too douchey.

"Yeah, you're really weird and you have a weird history. You're like a mystery novel waiting to happen." Zoro thought Sanji was mysterious but maybe that wasn't the right word. He was evasive at times and there was always that feeling that he wasn't telling the whole truth about himself. He couldn't think of a better word, plus this one sounded dramatic.

"Some story that would be. Am I really that weird?" He sounded upset at the assertion that he was indeed mysterious.

"Yes, you are," the green haired man confirmed, "So before you return to the mist, are there anymore weird things about you that I don't know?"

Sanji wrinkled his nose, "Nothing I feel comfortable sharing. Hell, I usually don't feel comfortable telling people half the stuff I've told you." He was scratching his neck again.

Zoro groaned, trying to illicit a reaction, "Great, now that is going to bother me for the rest of my young life."

Sanji looked incredibly uncomfortable, "You really want to know?" He asked cautiously.

"Yes." Zoro nodded seriously.

Sanji stopped eating and rubbed his neck in an aggrivated way. "Um, well, after I came back from being kidnapped or whatever I displayed some... Chaotic behavior, they just thought it would pass and everything would be fine but it just kind of stayed like that for a while."

"What do you mean?" In interesting development. It could not be entirely unexpected they Sanji had suffered some emotional traumas as an after effect of his absence from all known record.

His eyes were fled to the floor, tracing patterns on the hardwood panels. "I would freak out over everything and I couldn't relax, I felt uncomfortable in my own skin. That sort of thing. Zeff's told my therapist that I was always kind of like that, this just magnified it and they wanted diagnose me with borderline personality disorder, which I still say is bullshit but I will not deny that I was being a little... Crazy. Of course, that's not the official term because they always start by saying you're not crazy when they think you are. Anyway, they wanted me go get diagnosed by a specialist but I refused to go and Zeff didn't make me."

"What did you do then?"

"I-" he hesitated, "I- mostly bottled it up to the point of explosion. I felt like something was seriously wrong with me when I came back. I felt like I didn't fit in my skin and I just wanted to tear it off and sometimes I would get this feeling like things were moving underneath it. So one day, when I was home alone I took a knife and I tried to make myself feel better," he said carefully, all too aware of how terrible that sounded. Fuck, he wished he could go back and fix things but that's not how time works.

"I made a cut here," Sanji pointed to an area just under the right side of his rib cage. "It hurt a lot but it did make me feel better because I thought I could feel something in there, I tried to get it out but obviously there was nothing there. So then I made a cut on my face," He pulled back his bangs to show a thin scar starting at the side if his nose and ending halfway to his cheek. "The whole time I was like scratching gashes into the back of my neck with my fingers." Just like what he was currently doing.

Back then he had been extremely agitated. That weird feeling was building up inside of him so he had at first curled up into a ball to try to escape it. He bit a deep cut in his lip and his nails were tight against the skin if his neck, slowly tearing it. He tried to calm himself, honestly he did, but all he wanted to do was writhe on the floor. Rational thought seemed to be a too far distant idea. He couldn't do this, he had to make this feeling go away.

That was when he had made his decision to try something else. That was when he went into the kitchen and retrieved on of the less fancy knives. He didn't want to use one of the good ones for something like this, he respected them too much even now when he was on the edge of falling apart.

The bathroom had seemed like the most logical place to go for this. He could do it in the shower and wash it down the drain but at the time he wasn't thinking like that. All he was thinking of was using the mirror to watch what he was doing. He pulled the door behind him. It didn't shut all the way but he didn't care because no one else was home anyway. Pealing off his shirt, he looked down at the place where the skin felt tight. With only a minute's hesitation he made the cut. It didn't hurt at first, not really. His adrenalin was pumping and he had a high threshold for pain. It wasn't deep enough so he tried again and he started to feel the pain.

Blood was starting to flow in thick lines but now it was deep enough. He stuck his fingers into the open wound, it was extremely painful but through determination and probably madness it did not stop him. But his fingers met nothing but flesh, no foreign objects, only flesh. The more he tried to find something the more upset he got. Tears were blurring his vision, he pulled his hand away and clenched it into a wet fist. Then in a quick, frantic motion he flipped back his hair and made the cut on his face. It was clean and deep, the blood started to spill right away.

He hadn't even had a chance to explore the wound when he heard the footsteps that could only belong to Zeff and his prosthetic leg. He froze. What could he do? Nothing. There was no way to cover this up. He could only stay frozen in horror as the footsteps neared him. He had left the sink running with water, he didn't even remember turning it on in the first place. It was a suspicious sound and it had lured Zeff to push open the bathroom door all the way and see him in all his mad glory. Crazy, he was crazy and he couldn't do a thing about it.

Back in real time Sanji spoke casually and with a bored clarity. "Anyway, Zeff showed up and caught me holding a bloody knife, looking like a crazy person and thought I was trying to kill myself. Which I wasn't but no one will ever believe that so they put me on suicide watch anyway. So yeah, I'm pretty fucking crazy and now I think you know everything." That wasn't true but Zoro knew as much as he was willing to tell. Sanji was a good little liar when he wanted to be, if only he had been born with the gift instead of going through the pain of having to learn.

Zoro was quiet for a long time, he felt that dropping feeling people get when they've just heard something horrible. It was two steps away from panic but it didn't feel much less unpleasant. After a moment he organized his thoughts enough to formulate a response, even if it wasn't a very good one. "I'm not really sure what to say to that without sounding insincere or annoying," he admitted with a pained expression on his face.

Sanji laughed, "At least you have the balls to admit it." He couldn't begin to explain how frustrating it could be to get so many sympathetic looks.

Zoro cast him a quizzical glance and reached out to pull Sanji's hand from where it was clawing into the back of his neck mercilessly. He was met by slight resistance but upon noticing that he was resisting Sanji let his hand go limp in the swordsman's grasp.

"Have you always done that? Or did it start after all that stuff happened?" He was curious to see if this was a response to the stress or just a quirk etched into his brain.

"I've always done it. It got way worse after but it was always a thing as far back as I can remember. I had a elementary school teacher who would always yell at me for it but I couldn't stop and her yelling only made me want to do it more. There is a fuck ton of scar tissue on my neck now, which is why I always wear shirts that cover the back of my neck." He would grow out his hair but that would make him look even more girly and he liked the haircut he had now. Even if he'd had it nearly all his life, it was familiar and comfortable.

"That sounds like an OCD thing."

Sanji shrugged, "Maybe, I don't know. I never listened to my therapist so I wouldn't know."

"Did they ever try anything weird like hypnotherapy to get you to remember things?" They always seemed to do things like that on Criminal Minds. Sure it wasn't exactly hypnotherapy but it was still in its essence the same thing and it seemed like total bullshit.

Sanji laughed, "They tried but while it was happening I started to have a panic attack and backed out. We didn't try again after that."

"Was it weird?"

"I think I half fell asleep and then I started to freak out, I don't know what happened."

"Well, at least you are one of few people I will ever meet who have actually been hypnotized."

"Not as interesting as it sounds."

"Eh, that doesn't matter it's still interesting. The most interesting thing I think I've ever seen was back in high school when I watched this kid, who I'm pretty sure went to jail for drug charges, put a firecracker inside a snake's mouth. Oh wait, no, I was nearly chopped in half. That's probably the most interesting thing that's happened to me. Nearly forgot about that." Idiot.

"Correction, the most interesting thing that happened to you was meeting me," Sanji said, jabbing a finger at himself. "You are going to look back one day and think about how different things would be if we had never me. Mark my words."

"Wow, you must thing you're something else," Zoro scoffed.

"I am, thank you very much. I did get you to come here after all, with zero protest, in fact. I am a life altering event, admit it!"

"You are not. You are just a little part of my life and you can't deal with it."

"Well, I hope that's not true because then I would feel very upset and you might trigger one of my dramatic mood swings if you aren't careful," Sanji warned although he had a smile on his face which he was trying to suppress.

"It's okay, I will absorb it up with my powers of stoicism."

"Ugh, whenever I hear the word stoic I always think of a old stone stature of an expressionless Swedish man meditating in the middle of a thunderstorm."

"How the fuck does your brain function? Why is that the first thing you think of?"

"I don't know. Whenever I look at pictures of tiny frogs I want to put them on my face and let them jump around on me."

"That is even weirder than the last thing you said."

"I'm letting out all my weirdness onto you before you go and I have to go back to being a hardass about stuff. And just so you know, I wouldn't really let frogs jump all over my face unless they didn't have bladders because I don't want to be covered in frog pee."

Zoro was giving him a look of utter disbelief. Sanji ignored him and took bite of his sandwich.

"Hey, marimo, I want you to try to guess my favorite food."

Zoro made a face like he was enduring some eternal torment. "Why would you make me guess something like that? There is no way in hell that I am going to know something like that. You probably like something fancy and weird," he said with a venomous glare, "Something a peasant like me wouldn't know about, let alone understand."

Sanji smiled, "You are correct but I still want to hear your guesses because they will make me laugh."

Zoro groaned, "Fine. Raspberry ice cream." He remembered Sanji saying something about raspberry ice cream.

"That is up near the top, but no."

"Some kind of weird bug on a stick."

"I would die before I ever ate a bug. Thinking about it makes me sick."

"Fish."

"That's kind of close."

"Eels."

"Nope."

"Giant squid."

"Nope."

"Fucking fried unicorn, I don't know. I'm never going to guess so just tell me!"

"Spicy seafood pasta." Sanji grinned.

Zoro rolled his eyes, "Oh, I'm sorry, I should have known."

"Your guesses were shockingly not that bad."

"That's because I'm awesome but why would you ruin pasta by making it spicy and putting seafood in it?"

"What, you don't like spicy things and seafood?"

"No, I like both of those things, just not together."

"Well, it's amazing and I'll have to make if for you at some point just to prove how right I am."

"You do that." There he went, threatening to cook for him again.

"I will, and it will be awesome. You will immediately become addicted."

"Great, I already preparing myself for detox and you offer me harder core food. Someday I'm going to wake up outside a fancy food place after having begged for scraps because of your stupid cooking."

Sanji had stars in his eyes, "That's the best complement you've ever given my food!" he exclaimed.

Fuck, that actually was a complement, he hadn't meant for it to be. Regardless as to how it was taken it was an accurate statement. Sanji's good food had made everything else seem duller by comparison. It really wasn't fair.

Zoro shifted uncomfortably, glancing away. "Whatever," he said brisk manner, not wanting to dwell on the slip up.

Sanji would have none of that. "Because I will be away for an extended period of time I think that you should just come out and say how amazing you think my food is. You know, as a farewell gift, to make me feel better." He grinned impishly.

"To boost your ego? I don't think so. You will have to torture a positive response out of me."

"Aw, marimo, you're breaking my heart here, that is expressly what Zeff told you not to do."

"Oh, are we going to acknowledge that now? Because I thought that you just wanted to forget that ever happened. I mean, I'm pretty sure most of the cooks downstairs think we are together but I wasn't going to say anything. I'm sure you'll get hell for it once I'm gone." Zoro smirked imagining the torture they would put him through.

Sanji grimaced. "Alright, fine. I'll shut up."

"Good."

"So, I think it would be pretty awesome to have control over gravity," Sanji said not thirty seconds later.

"Dammit, cook! You just said that you were going to shut up like two seconds ago!"

"I can't help it! I can't stand the awkward silences!"

"I'd take awkward silence over your blabbing," Zoro said with a glare.

"I think you are lying," Sanji challenged, "If you didn't like listening to me then you would make me shut up."

"I would but I'm being nice because you're going away."

"Ugh, when you say it like that I feel like I've been drafted for the military to go fight some foreign war or something."

"Not quite that extreme." Zoro said with an amused expression on his stupid face.

Sanji sighed, his eyes trailing over Zoro's face. "Dammit, I think I might actually miss you, you bastard. You better fucking text me or I swear I will hunt you down. I remind you that I am fucking insane so you should be worried," he threatened.

"Psh, if just chop you in half if you stalked me down and brake into my house." Sanji wasn't a real threat. If it came to that, Zoro was confident that he could take him down.

"Just text me and that won't be necessary."

"Alright, fine," he glanced down at his watch, "I guess I should actually be leaving soon. Not much else for me to do here." They were both done eating and Zoro had done his requirement of being a pack mule.

"I guess not," Sanji sighed, grinning half heartily. "But I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to spend a few extra moments in my presence."

Zoro smirked in amusement, "Noted, but I think I should go before you convince me to stay." And that was a real danger for whatever reason.

"And why would I want you to stay?" Sanji challenged, leaning forward slightly.

"You tell me." Zoro raised his eyebrows like he was waiting for a response.

Sanji rolled his eyes and scoffed, "Whatever, let's go." He lead them down the stairs and through the door, outside to the uhaul truck, which Zoro would be taking back as his transportation.

They stood facing each other. It was time to say goodbye, not for good hopefully, just for a while. Sanji was glad they were out of view of the Baratie windows because when they were walking out here Patty made kissy faces at them before he tripped over Sanji's leg, which just happened to end up in his way. Funny that. He was glad that they would not be witnessing this goodbye. Why did they have to be so embarrassing?

"So this is goodbye then," Zoro said, his tone and face showed indifference but Sanji felt like he was at least a tiny bit sad, maybe just a little.

"Yep, this is goodbye for now. Don't think that you won't be seeing from me again," Sanji threatened, "I promise that I will once again rise form the dark mists from whence I came."

Zoro smirked, "I'll be sure too keep an eye out for any dark mists then."

"You should probably have been doing that anyway. But yeah, good." He paused, "Okay, final farewell time. Down to business, super serious. I feel like I should hug you but that would be really weird and awkward." Just thinking about it made him want to squirm.

"You're right, that would be very weird and awkward. I feel like it would be one of those too long hugs that make you want to die." Those hugs were the the worst kind. They were hard to watch and twice as hard to be a part of.

"Right?" Sanji agreed, "And a handshake would be even more awkward because it's like acknowledging how uncomfortable we are given the situation. So, I've decided I'm going to do something even more weird and awkward." Because that's what Sanji did. He took uncomfortable situations and multiplied the uncomfortableness by a factor of four.

"What-" Zoro didn't have time to formulate a working sentence before Sanji stepped closer and kissed him on the cheek. It happened very fast, only brief contact, and then the blond was running away. "Oi, wait!" the swordsman called out in bewilderment.

Sanji did not turn, he instead shouted, "La la la, I can't hear you, I'm running away now! Later, Zoro!" As he waved his hand in farewell over his shoulder.

Completely stunned, Zoro watched him disappear into the Baratie. He took a deep breath and started the truck. He had absolutely no idea what the fuck that was, let alone what to think about it.

XxxX

A/N: I love when you guys guess at what's going on :) it's hard to keep it bottled up.

Do I Wanna Know is the song that I feel sets the tone for this story. Plus, I'm a little obsessed with the Arctic Monkeys right now. I tend to do that.

Also, quirky Sanji is quirky, awkward romance is awkward and as it seems is not always as it seems ;)

Thanks.


	10. Just So

The window shade  
The nursing aid  
To let it all just work the way  
From head to toe  
A shadow grows  
Since forever and a day

-"Just So" Agnes Obel

XxxX

Sanji started sending texts half an hour after Zoro left. He was putting stuff away in his old room and he was bored, also sort of freaking out. It was more that he had started freaking himself out, initially he was fine but then he talked himself into a panic.

Sanji 1:53 PM

Hey, so we will never be speaking about that again, right? That thing that never happened. Right. Good, I'm glad we're on the same page. Just so you know I think I'm going to pretend I don't know what you're talking about if you mention crazy things that may or may not have happened.

Sanji 1:54 PM

Oh, also don't text me back if you're driving. I will break your legs if you text and drive. You'll end up killing an Amish family.

Sanji 1:54 PM

Sorry, I saw a texting and driving thing where a guy killed an Amish family. Or like, half a family.

Sanji 1:56 PM

I should stop, I'm just freaking myself out and this is how I'm consoling myself. I think I'll just start typing out messages and then deleting them now. Probably should have done that in the first place. Too late now :/

Elsewhere Zoro did not know what to think. His brain was running on loop, replaying the incident like he was processing how he should react. He supposed that first he should probably check the growing amount of texts he was receiving from Sanji, that sounded like a good start. His phone had been making a lot of noise in the last few minutes.

He didn't respond to those texts for another hour and forty minutes, after he was home. The texts appeared slightly rambling with a touch of hysteria. That wasn't far from the usual with Sanji.

Zoro 3:48 PM

Sure you don't want to talk about it? Because I am very confused, not gonna lie.

Sanji did not get the reply until later at night because he had finished sorting out most of his things and had gone down to the kitchen to do his job. Ignoring all the pointed comments made his way concerning a certain green haired friend, although the way they said it it was a more italicized friend. As in his _friend, _wink wink, nudge nudge. They obviously had no idea what they were talking about.

Then he remember his previous anxiety when he saw that Zoro had texted back.

Sanji 8:37 PM

I don't know what you're talking about, but if I did then confused would sound much better than say angry or murderous.

Zoro 8:41 PM

Well, my first question would obviously be why did you do it?

Sanji 8:42 PM

And my first comment would be. no comment

Zoro 8:43 PM

Fine. Why on the cheek? You could have gone all out and kissed me on the moist

Zoro 8:43 PM

*mouth. I meant mouth. Ugh that sounded gross. That's like the worst word ever.

Sanji 8:46 PM

Well if I were going to do something like this then I would say that my chances of being punched would be lower if it were on the cheek. I would have punched me, but that's just me.

Sanji 8:47 PM

That's a lie, I would have kicked me in the balls. I'm glad you didn't do that.

Zoro 8:49 PM

I was too shocked to do anything plus you ran away.

Sanji 8:50 PM

Are you saying you would have given the chance?

Zoro 8:51 PM

I don't know, I didn't have the chance.

Sanji 8:51 PM

That was the point of the running away.

Zoro 8:51 PM

Well now I'm questioning everything around me. Thanks.

Sanji 8:52 PM

And you think I'm not? I'm having a serious crisis here.

Zoro 8:52 PM

Not gay then?

Sanji 8:54 PM

I'm sure told you at some point that I'm not BUT, not gonna lie, I wanted to kiss you on your stupid mouth. Just saying.

Zoro 8:54 PM

Great, now I don't know how to react to that either. It's been a confusing day. You're overloading my emotional processing unit.

Sanji 8:55 PM

Say: yes, Sanji it's okay. I understand everything, also Zeff doesn't have cancer and you're not crazy.

Zoro 8:55 PM

All of those things would be lies

Sanji 8:55 PM

But they would make me feel better.

Zoro 8:56 PM

Sure, whatever. Just be glad that I don't want to avoid you for the rest of existence.

Sanji 8:56 PM

You don't?

Zoro 8:57 PM

Nope, I still think you're strange and mysterious, probably even more so now.

Sanji 8:58 PM

Score, the ladies love a bit of mystery.

Zoro 8:58 PM

Says the guy who just admitted to wanting to kiss another guy.

Sanji 8:58 PM

Shut up.

Zoro 8:59 PM

It's okay, I probably wouldn't have punched you if you had. Probably.

Sanji 9:00 PM

Good, I guess. I do feel slightly better.

Zoro 9:02 PM

Yeah, good. Don't go avoiding me or anything.

Sanji 9:03 PM

I'm in an entirely different city than you right now, it's going to be hard not to avoid you

Zoro 9:04 PM

You know what I mean.

Sanji 9:05 PM

Yeah

Sanji 9:05 PM

Fuck, Zeff is trying to take my phone. Text you later

Zoro 9:06 PM

Bye.

XxxX

Days seemed to pass more slowly for Zoro with the absence of Sanji. When he went to the bar the new bartender, Vivi, respected his privacy and did her job but somehow that felt disappointing now. He drank silently, wishing that Sanji was at least off work so he text him but he didn't stop working until late.

Also, on the weekend he had to go train on his own, there was no one now to fight with. Well, he could always fight with Luffy but somehow their styles weren't as compatible. Luffy was more of punching and grappling kind of guy so when faced with a sword he ended up with a lot of bruises and cuts.

Zoro seemed to spend a lot more time staring off into space, letting his thoughts drift around than he had before and it was very annoying. He didn't get as much sleep either because he always stayed up to text Sanji for a while. According to this evidence one could conclude that he actually- he- he sort of missed that blond idiot, as much as it might pain him to admit. He hadn't realized how boring things were before.

Sanji also felt an emptiness for leaving his friends so he drown himself in work. He worked as long as possible and as hard as he could. He knew he was stressing himself out more than he should be, what with all his headaches and their increasing pain. It happened more and more that he would wake up and be almost incapable of getting out of bed. It wasn't fun but he was glad that he was there to take care of things in Zeff's frequent absences and to lift the weight of some of the responsibilities, whether Zeff liked it or not.

So obviously he and Zoro kept in close contact, avoiding awkward topics for the most part. They talked about Zeff's treatment a lot. He had started his chemotherapy. Sanji hated going to that place, it was so weird. There were cubicles with what looked like dentist's chairs and an IV holder for the chemicals. The ceiling tiles were painted with an assortment of pictures probably done by other patients or the families of other patients. All of this set Sanji's teeth on edge, something about it just seemed off to him.

After three weeks of separation they decided to get together. It was actually Luffy's idea, he was upset at the lack of Sanji's cooking he was receiving. Zoro and Luffy were both coming down to hang out on a Sunday. The would be going to COSI for the day and having a late lunch at the Baratie.

On the way Zoro got lost and had call Sanji for directions, something he loathed to do but he wanted to get there and he had taken out his gps to change it's batteries earlier and had forgotten to put it back in. In the passenger seat Luffy was asleep with his face sticking to the window. Zoro could only imagine what he looked like to the people driving to his right.

Zoro flipped out his phone while he was at a red light and put in the number, lifting the device to his ear.

"What is it, marimo?" asked Sanji in his usual impatient and irritated way.

"I'm a little turned around," he admitted, launching into an explanation of were he was.

"How the hell did you get turned around? It's not that confusing," came Sanji's irritated voice through the speaker of Zoro's phone after having given him the right directions.

"The roads are like a fucking maze, it's not my fault," Zoro claimed, not mentioning that he'd forgotten his GPS.

Sanji sighed on the other end, "Whatever, you better hurry the fuck up. You're on North Washington Avenue now, right?"

Zoro looked at the street sight and turned into the correct avenue. "Right," he confirmed.

"Okay, good, you need to turn onto Gay now."

"I need to what?!" Zoro exclaimed, sure he heard into and not onto, which still didn't make a proper sentence but had an interesting point to it.

"I said you need to turn onto Gay Street, you imbecile! Not whatever you thought I said!" Sanji fumbled. He'd just been naming off the street name without thinking.

"That's not really the street name, is it?" Zoro said looking ahead at the street names and sure enough the little green sign said 'Gay St."

"It is, I didn't name it but it goes by the art college so, you know. Just keep following that road, you're only a few minutes away. Don't get fucking lost on the way, and hurry up," Sanji complained.

"I'm coming as fast as these other people will allow me to," Zoro grumbled, glaring at the cars in front of him. He could just ram the back of their car and there was nothing they could do about it. He could make a sharp turn and run over the pedestrians walking by. He wouldn't of course but the impulse was there. He hated impulses.

"Unacceptable." Sanji chirped, oblivious to Zoro's homicidal thoughts, "So anyway, while I have you on the phone. We are good, right? No lingering awkwardness? Just want to confirm that so I don't have to jump in the Scioto river when you show up," he laughed awkwardly.

Zoro rolled his eyes at Sanji's insistence with making sure he hadn't fucked things up. "We were fine weeks ago, dumbass, if you keep acting weird about it I will throw you into the river."

"Hah," Sanji let out a confident laugh, "Joke's on you. I'm actually a merman and I would be perfectly okay with being thrown in the river."

"If you're a mermaid then what are those things you use to kick people with?" Zoro thought that Sanji had the hair to be a mermaid. He would be especially suited for it if he had long, flowing hair. The use if his long and powerful legs, however, ruined the illusion.

"Merman. And I was given legs by a sea witch so that I could charm a handsome prince. I would pause to wink at you but I have hair covering half my face so it would just look like I was blinking... Or staring awkwardly." Despite this on the other side of the line Sanji was sitting in his car winking to himself, "Also you aren't a prince as far as I'm aware."

"Well, I can't see you anyway," the swordsman pointed out, "and I didn't hear any denial of my undeniable handsomeness."

"Right, I would but that would put me in the awkward position of having kissed someone I proclaim to be unhandsome." He couldn't do it without sounding overly hypocritical, which would irritate him.

"And so I win this argument."

Sanji nodded to his phone, "And so you do. Now don't get lost again, you don't want me to have to come find you."

Zoro did manage to turn up a few minutes later, Luffy all but jumped from the car running up to Sanji and bouncing around excitedly. He was babbling about how badly he wanted meat but Sanji tuned him out and looked past him to Zoro, who was slowly approaching. In the warm daylight he looked paler and sicklier than when they had last seen each other. The blond shot over a half smile before turning back to Luffy.

"We'll go to the Baratie for lunch," Sanji assured him, "And you can have all the meat you can pay for."

Luffy let out a long whine of despair, "But I don't have much money and it's fancy there."

"True," Sanji said thoughtfully, "So I will pay, although I warn you that the other chefs aren't quite as good as me," he said grinning.

"That's okay, as long as they bring me food!" Luffy proclaimed.

"Good, now what do you guys want to do first?" Sanji asked as they were walking in. The entrance was large and as they set foot inside that COSI smell hit them. It wasn't a bad smell, it reminded Sanji of a field trip he'd taken in fourth grade here. Things still looked about the same. The stringless harp sat near the doors with little kids running their hands under the lasers, the big pendulum clock rocked back and forth in clear view, and above the tight rope unicycle was peddled by those brave enough to ride it.

Nostalgia was a powerful thing, Sanji tried not to be too caught up in it as they purchased their day passes.

Luffy demanded to go see the titanic exhibit first. The titanic was a super massive ship and Luffy thought it was super fucking cool. Unfortunately, to go somewhere with Luffy was like keeping an eye on a large two year old, which was in part because most of the other people in COSI had small children with them. It was a child oriented place after all. He wandered off, he got distracted, and he got in people's way. It was hard enough watching him when Sanji also had to make sure that Zoro wasn't getting lost in the crowd. He needed leashes on both of them, honestly.

Instead he settled on holding onto the back of Luffy's shirt so that he couldn't run away and dragging Zoro by the arm so he couldn't fall behind. They probably looked pretty strange walking down the hallways like that. Sanji didn't care, as long as it kept them from being separated.

The second place they went to was the ocean exhibit. When Sanji was little they used to have this thing where kids could connect pipes to get water from one place to another but that was gone now, probably for good reason. The ocean place had always been Sanji's favorite if only just because he liked the dark and watery décor.

The next stop was to the progress exhibit, where they went back through the decades like a time machine. They went into the little fake shops and pretended to make a news broadcast at the broadcasting station, which made all the little kids laugh.

The third place they went to was the space exhibit upstairs, Sanji had always hated this one. The tunnel into it was a bridge with a space backdrop which spun around and may you feel like you were flipping around in the tunnel. Plus, Sanji really didn't like the space aesthetic very much, it sort of freaked him out. It was nice to look at but all that dark emptiness everywhere around him, all that unknown area, who knew what was lurking out there. He would rather observe it than be inside it.

For Luffy's sake Sanji did not complain as they made the trip through. Luffy and Zoro liked the gravity simulation best. There were four bowling balls attached to poles keeping them attached to the table but able to be lifted. They simulated the gravity on the moon, earth, mars, and Jupiter. They all had fun playing with them. Zoro was the only one who could lift the Jupiter one farther than about two centimeters. It only weighted about forty pounds but that was hard to lift from a table like that.

As they moved on they passed the little kids play area, which made Sanji's heart ache. He didn't get to do many childlike things as a kid but on other kids birthdays sometimes he would go to COSI and play in that area. He would run around on the soft floor, playing with the hard foam balls and shooting them up on blasts of air. There were little buildings where he would play with the other kids and in another room there was the water works place where they would play with boats, locks, and tubes. As they passed the windows Sanji wished he could go back to that time, things were so uncomplicated then. He shook himself slightly and picked up his pace, there was no need to dwell on things like that. They would only serve to make him depressed.

After those few hours of being dragged around Sanji was almost willing to throw Luffy over the metal railing of the balcony, onto carpet below. In order to give himself at least a moment of calm he let Luffy go wait in line for the tight rope unicycle. Sanji had gone on it before and it wasn't as scary or as fun as it looked but as a kid it had looked amazing. Zoro stayed behind with Sanji and watched Luffy move through the line.

"He can be a hand full," Zoro said in apology as he observed Sanji's strained expression.

"I just have a headache from the space tunnel," Sanji said, which was true.

"Not a fan of space travel then?" Zoro smirked, "You'd make a sucky astronaut."

"I wouldn't want to be an astronaut in the first place. Why the fuck would anyone want to actually go to space?" Sanji grumbled, sliding a hand over his eyes.

"Part of it is mystery of it," Zoro shrugged, "Who knows what's out they, you know? The other part is crazy nuts out there who think they're going to contact aliens, which adds to the mystery."

"Fuck that," Sanji said, his hand sliding roughly against the back of his neck, "If there were aliens out there we should stay the fuck away from them. Fuck you, crazy hair guy on Ancient Aliens." That show was absolutely ridiculous, but that was probably part of its charm. Not that Sanji ever watched it, he didn't really have time to watch stupid tv shows.

"I don't know, I think it would be cool," Zoro said as he imagined cutting up alien like a badass action hero. He had a feeling he would to well in that kind of apocalyptic scenario. Honestly, he felt like he would to well in any apocalyptic scenario, unless it was one where you had to pay yourself out. That would not go well for him.

Sanji slammed his other hand against the railing, "It would not be cool, it would be fucking horrible!" He exclaimed, sounding more upset than he realized.

Zoro held his hands up in surrender, "Alright, calm down. An alien invasion would suck, don't bite my head off."

"Sorry," Sanji breathed tensely, his hand finding it's way back to his forehead. He was trying his hardest to be happy about today but his throbbing head was making it difficult. "I just feel like a parent with two uncontrollable children."

Zoro's eyebrow twitched. "What, you're going to call me a child too? Luffy's the one who's a child."

"I practically had to hold your hand to make sure you wouldn't get lost," Sanji pointed out.

"I don't get lost. People just get in the way and by the time I look up you're gone." He automatically made an excuse for himself.

"Yeah, whatever," Sanji snorted, staring over at Luffy, who was eagerly bouncing in line watching the people in front of him go out.

"So how is Zeff doing?" Zoro asked after a moment of silence.

Sanji sighed, "He's doing okay, I guess. It's hard to tell sometimes, if he's in pain he's hiding it. I have to take him to chemo every Wednesday."

"Had he started losing hair or anything?" Zoro wasn't quite sure how that worked.

"Nah, he's only had like three sessions and last time his hair held out pretty long. It was gross when he started losing it, he shaved pretty quickly after that. That was weird. I think usually he feels sicker than he actually looks. I even saw him puke last week." Zeff generally had a high tolerance for pain and a strong body, but he couldn't help his reaction to the drugs he was pumped full of.

"He'll be okay," Zoro said softly.

"I know that," Sanji replied lightly, "It's either that or he won't and either way there's nothing I can do about it. Does saying that make me a heartless bastard?" He looked to Zoro for counsel.

"I'm not sure, you'd have to ask someone with a working heart." Zoro said placing a hand over where his heart should be, imagining that he felt no beating.

"I'm sure you have a heart in there somewhere, marimo," Sanji laughed. They were standing close together, both leaning on the rail. Sanji wanted to lean against the swordsman but suppressed the thought immediately.

Just watch the Luffy, no unwanted thoughts.

But there was that little voice in the back if his head telling him that maybe it didn't have to be a thought labeled as "unwanted", there was always the chance that things could work so that that thought was refiled into the category of "yes, do it now" without the addition of "before you have time to think it through". So for now he just stood there watching Luffy.

"Did you come here a lot as a kid?" Zoro asked after a beat of silence. He had noticed Sanji looking around with a fondness that could only be of recognition and thinking back. He could see why people wanted to take kids here; it was an interesting and colorful place. It was probably a good thing where wasn't a place like this near them because Luffy would have terrorized it as a kid.

"Sometimes for school trips or other kids birthday parties. Zeff wasn't really into taking me places, I mostly helped in the Baratie."

"What, even as a kid?"

"I started as a potato peeler and worked my way up," the chef smiled, "Now I'm the best."

"Says you."

"Says anyone with a decent pallet."

When Luffy finally got to the front of the line he was strapped to the unicycle and began to peddle backward down the line, grinning like a lunatic. He waved to Sanji and Zoro, making faces at them as they waved back. He met the end of the line and peddled forward again until the employee grabbed him and pulled him back. Fun but strangely disappointing at the same time.

When Luffy joined up with them again they decided that it was time for lunch. On the way out the map disposal boxes had scientists names and faces on them. It was like a popularity contest between the hopeful homecoming queens of the science world. Einstein was winning by far. Sanji put his map, as well as Zoro and Luffy's, into Marie Curie's box because she was a fucking amazing person. She was in last place because no one apparently knew how amazing she was. Probably because no one likes chemistry because it's too boring. Seriously universe, the fuck?

She was all about radiation and understand it, an endeavor which would cost her her life due to cancer, she melted down her metals to help with the war effort, her husband died because he was run over by a horse drawn carriage somehow, and was all around an amazing person who deserved some credit where credit was due.

At the Baratie when they walked through the doors Patty looked sufficiently irritated.

"You're back," he grumbled, "Can't you go eat somewhere else? As soon as you start eating you'll complain about how it's not good enough."

"Well, make it better then." Sanji spat back, although he knew that he made a terrible customer. "In the mean time, escort us to a table, dumbass."

They were begrudgingly guided to a table in the far left of the room, as away from everyone else as they could be and as soon as they were seated Sanji immediately ordered for everyone. The wait was not as long as it was in some places, they cooked as quickly as they could back there. Sanji had to make an effort to stop Luffy from disrupting the other guests while they waited. He wasn't a fan of sitting still and talking quietly.

The food eventually came as a relief and was promptly devoured in about five minutes, when Luffy whined for more Sanji told him that he'd had enough for two and he should appreciate that.

Before they left and while Sanji and Zoro were still eating, giving their best efforts to guard their food at the same time, Zeff came over to their table.

"Back again?" asked Zeff as he approached, looking at Zoro who just shrugged like his existence there was debatable. "And there's another one." The blond man looked at Luffy.

Sanji's expression soured, "Go away, old man, you aren't wanted here."

"I'm just surprised that you made friends, you've never made that effort before. As a parent it's my job to make sure they're a good influence," he said snidely, although he was genuinely curious about Sanji's new friends. It wasn't to say that Sanji never had friends, they were just never close friends who he brought home. He spent too much time in the kitchen for that. Zeff always made sure he had work to do.

"Great, I'm glad you've suddenly decided to be a concerned parent. I'll make it easy for you and say I've made friends with a manchild," he gestured to Luffy, who let out a long string of laughter, "and a probable serial killer," he gestured to Zoro.

"What the fuck? Why am a a serial killer?" Zoro complained. He wasn't that much of a freak, was he?

"You have a murder vibe coming off you, I'm surprised that you don't frighten off small children or yourself in the mirror," Sanji said insightfully as Zoro made a sound of outrage.

"I feel like somehow I've failed as a parent," Zeff stated, looking unimpressed with Sanji's friends.

"Good, now leave us alone!" Sanji shouted in exasperation.

"Alright, fine, I'm going, I'm going. Just remember that you should always manipulate your boyfriend into paying, eggplant, you don't get a discount just because you work here," Zeff said before rushing off as Sanji sputtered indignantly.

"What did he mean by that?" Luffy asked, thoughtfully.

"Shut up, Luffy," said Sanji, slouching back in his seat, his face slightly red.

After that Sanji rushed them out and they spent time wandering around the city. They had to leave by four. Sanji insisted that they stay for dinner but Nami was blackmailing them into helping her out with some bar stuff so Sanji made little effort to argues against that, although he may or may not have wanted to.

When they were saying goodbye Luffy jumped on the blond and gave him a huge hug, nearly snapping his slight frame in half. He was then promptly kicked in the head. While Luffy sulked back to Zoro's car, running his poor head, Zoro himself stayed behind for a moment.

"We should defiantly do this again," Sanji said smiling hesitantly at first, unsure of where to start. It had been a lot of fun.

"Yes, we should," Zoro agreed, "It's boring without you around, and the new bartender sucks."

"I remember that you weren't so fond of me when I started either," Sanji said poking him accusingly in the chest.

"Yeah, well I was lying anyway, she's too nice." Vivi, the new bartender was an old friend of Nami's. She was loaded but she wanted a way to get out and Nami needed the help.

"Then why are you complaining, moron? You should be glad to have a pretty female bartender." Sanji scoffed as his disregard for a presumably beautiful lady.

"She's too boring. She doesn't bother me with invasive questions or space out when I talk to her, and she isn't insane." Zoro complained.

"These all sound like good qualities to me," Sanji observed, slightly confused, "Now go, Luffy is waiting for you."

"Whatever, you'll never understand," he sighed dramatically, "But before I go." Zoro stepped forward and pressed their lips together briefly, quickly drawing back. "Just so that you don't turn into sea foam. I know I'm not a prince but you can never be too sure." He winked and started walking away.

"You're very smooth, you know that?" Sanji shouted after him, smirking. "But the car is that way," he pointed to the opposite ways Zoro was walking.

"Shut up," Zoro said punching the blond as he walked by, earning him a kick to the back of his knee.

"See ya, marimo," Sanji smiled brightly.

XxxX

A/N: im so tired Mmm msn. I can't even type. Skipped Luffy' s birthday. Oh well.

Sorry for my lame Gay street joke, I saw it on Google maps and I couldn't resist. Also I think the space tunnel was a Smithsonian thing not a cosi thing, oh well. And I feel like I never write Zeff right.

Thanks.


	11. Amy Hit The Atmosphere

If I could make it rain today  
And wash away this sunny day down to the gutter  
I would just to get a change of pace  
Things are getting worse, but I feel a lot better  
And that's all that really matters to me

-"Amy Hit The Atmosphere" Counting Crows

XxxX

Sanji 8:04 PM

It was you who did something weird this time.

Sanji was on break and finally had a chance to text Zoro over the day's events.

Zoro 8:09 PM

It was me, I admit it. At least you kicked me in the knee and not the balls. I'm very thankful for that by the way.

Zoro had literally just gotten back from the bar when he received the text. He was collapsed on the couch with his face in a pillow.

Sanji 9:10 PM

You should be, I am a testicle crushing machine.

Zoro 9:10 PM

That is horrifying.

Sanji 9:11 PM

Beware my power, mortal. Anyway, I think this is becoming a Thing. I repeat a Thing with a capital T.

Zoro 9:12 PM

It's not a thing yet. Twice is a coincidence, three times is a pattern and that's when it becomes a thing.

Sanji 9:12 PM

A Thing! Capital T! And I think given the circumstances it's safe to say we are in the territory of being a Thing.

Zoro 9:14 PM

Whatever, I'm just glad you're still human and not sea foam.

Sanji 9:14 PM

That's right, I became a human on the technicality that you are prince of the marimos.

Zoro 9:14 PM

Fuck you.

Sanji 9:15 PM

Come at me, bro

Zoro 9:15 PM

Double fuck you. For that you deserve to die.

Sanji 9:16 PM

Whatever. Fuck I'm tired. Some asshole stormed in and tried to start a fight with another customer after you guys left.

Zoro 9:17 PM

Wow, he picked the worst place to start a fight. He didn't leave in a body bag, did he?

Sanji 9:17 PM

Not quite, it took all of my power not to kick him in the jaw but I did asked him to kindly leave.

Zoro 9:17 PM

And did he?

Sanji 9:18 PM

No, of course not. I had insulted his manly pride so he had to go all alpha male on me.

Zoro 9:18 PM

I'm sure that went over well.

Sanji 9:19 PM

Patty grabbed me before I could do anything and threw him out. It totally ruined my good mood.

Zoro 9:19 PM

And why would you be in a good mood?

Sanji 9:20 PM

Hm, wouldn't you like to know. I have to go back in and help clean up. Sleep well, dear prince marimo.

Zoro 9:20 PM

Later, princess spaz-a-lot.

XxxX

May swiftly passed into June with warm temperatures and nice weather. The earth's tilt toward the sun warmed the northern hemisphere with it's nurturing and cancer causing ultraviolet rays. But people weren't really focusing on that. They were busy going to the beach and being out on the lake to escape the heat.

Contact was still maintained between Sanji and his friends, which he was incredibly grateful for. He would hate for them to totally forget about him.

On the twelfth Sanji had come up for the weekend and was staying the night over at Zoro's place. Neither of them were really sure where they stood with each other, or it staying together was a good idea but Sanji didn't want to pay for a hotel and he was willing to take a chance.

After arriving at noon it was decided that they should all go tubing on Luffy's boat. So they all went over to Nami's place to get his boat, all being Luffy, Usopp, Nami, Zoro, and Sanji. Because Nami actually owned a house with a little boat garage attached to it and because she didn't own a boat it seemed obvious that Luffy should keep the Going Merry in there instead of at a marina.

When they walked through Nami's house Sanji was struck by how cozy it felt. It was a small house but somehow it gave off the impression of feeling big. Nami had to go out and prep the boat so everyone else when upstairs to throw bread to the seagulls from her little deck.

Ten minutes later the boat was ready for action and they all wandered down to the boat house. The Going Merry was an average sized motor boat with what looked like a sheep's head mast bolted awkwardly to the front. It was kind of ridiculous but it also very much suited Luffy.

As they walked into the boat Nami pointed to the far wall which was covered in netting. "Hey, Sanji, a few years ago this place was infested with water snakes and they were literally pouring out of that wall but I didn't want to call pest control so I got these morons to help me get them out." She pointed to the others. Luffy started laughing, knowing the story she was about to tell, Zoro rolled his eyes and Usopp started to nervously sputter. "So we were all trying to get the snakes out," she continued the story with a smirk, "and Luffy grabbed one and yanked it out but let go as soon as it was out of the wall and it flew across the deck and knocked Usopp into the water," she laughed at the memory. Sanji joined her, imagining Usopp flailing back and tripping into the murky waters. He also laughed at the look of humiliation on Usopp's face as the boat was started and to back out.

As the heat of the sun hit them it felt like a physical weight. It was so hot outside. They were all obviously wearing bathing suits, although currently they were covered in other clothes. Sanji didn't really want to take his shirt off partially because he was unnecessarily insecure and because he knew he had that scar under his ribs. It was about two inches long and was a pale pinkish color. If he was lucky he would be too pale for it to be noticeable, it stood out more the tanner he got although he usually just burned. He knew that it really wasn't a big deal but he couldn't stop himself from being anxious about it.

The boat was taken out a ways from the shore. On the way out the held onto the black and blue two person tube. When they were far enough out Nami stopped the boat and pulled off her shirt. Not that it was much of a shirt, the sides were cut out anyway. It was too hot for real shirts, bikinis and cut off shirts only.

Sanji swooned as she put her hands of her hips with a determined look.

"Don't get a nose bleed, cook," Zoro warned, "we don't have the medical equipment to deal with it out here."

Sanji cast him an irritated look didn't say anything because Nami had started talking.

"Okay, boys," she said, "Whose going to go first? I say Sanji has first choice because he is the guest. Sanji when do you want to go?"

Sanji hesitated, "Uh, can I watch once? Because I don't really know how this works."

"Sure you can," Zoro said cutting Nami's response off, "if you want to leave a legacy of being a coward."

And just like that Sanji's pride could not allow him to watch. He knew that Zoro was just trying to rile him up but he couldn't help but respond involuntarily.

He was on his feet before he even realized it. "Fine, then I want to go first," he announced.

Nami rolled her eyes at them. "Alright, Zoro you are going with him so you guys can make out with each other, or punch each other in the face, or whatever."

Zoro pulled his shirt over his head and saluted. It took all of Sanji's mental strength not to gape at the massive jagged scar running across his chest. Sanji had a little babby scar compared to that. It was almost comforting.

The tube was pushed into the water as Sanji pulled his shirt off in a less show offy manner. He followed Zoro as he stepped cautiously into the flotation device and flopped onto his stomach. Once they were both on they crossed their arms as they grabbed the straps and began to slowly float away from the boat.

"Hold on tight, Sanji!" Luffy called to him as the boat started to slowly pull straight the rope.

"Yeah, cook, it would be a shame if you fell off," Zoro grinned, "if you start screaming I will push you off."

"I'm not going to scream and I'm not going to fall off," Sanji said confidently. He had a good grip.

"It might not matter because Nami's defiantly going to try to tip us."

Before Sanji could respond the tube lurched forward as the boat launched forward. The tube skimmed rockily over the smooth water behind the motor. Sanji felt a grin begin to creep over his face as the wind whipped through his hair.

Nami made a sudden turn and they were sent launching over the waves and into the air. As they landed they skimmed outside the angle of the motor on the bumpier waves. Zoro looked over at him and saw the obvious approval on his face and signaled the boat with a thumbs up, meaning speed up.

They spent a few more amazing minutes skimming over waves until Nami tried something different. She let the tube sit still as she drove the boat around it, creating huge waves.

"Uh oh," Zoro said with a massive grin on his face, "she's going to knock us off now."

Sure enough, the rope was yanked taunt and the spun sideways over a big wave completely flipping the tube upside down. The water was cold and disorienting but as soon as they breached the surface they came up laughing like idiots.

"Great, right?" Zoro laughed swimming over to him as Nami brought the boat in a arch toward them.

"Amazing!" Sanji agreed as he rubbed nose. Water had gone up it as they flipped but he could care less.

As the boat pulled up to them Luffy shouted over, "How was it?!"

"Amazing!" Sanji called back. It was astoundingly fun. They quickly got back into the boat, Sanji shivered violently from the water although it was very warm out.

Nami handed him a towel, but her eyes glanced down as the skat that only just stood out against his stunningly pale skin. "Where did you get that scar," she asked curiously, it was kind of an odd place to get a scar after all.

"Ah, in high school I got into a bad fight and the other kid pulled a knife." He really hated to lie to her but the truth filled him with shame and regret.

"What was the fight over?" asked Luffy.

"He made the mistake of thinking he could beat me up so I kicked his ass. Unfortunately, he did do this so I didn't get off completely unscathed," he responded cooly.

Zoro was surprised at how well Sanji lied to them. He somehow got the impression that this was not a conversation that Sanji wanted to be a part of so he tried to save him.

"That's nothing compared to my scar," Zoro smirked, pointing at his monster of a scar.

To Sanji's, relief the conversation turned into that of scars other than his. Eventually they decided it was time to start going out again. Everyone took turns going out. Every time Nami wanted to go so Usopp had to drive because he was the only one she trusted enough not to do something horrible to the boat.

They continued to go out until Zoro and Sanji started a fight and Sanji kicked him overboard. Then everyone jumped into the water and started swimming around, splashing each other. There was always something a bit freaky about swimming around in a lake, not knowing what's swimming under you but it was also thrilling.

When they got back on board it was decided that they should head back for dinner because it was getting late. Sanji cooked something amazing and then everyone hung out at the bar for the evening.

Sanji was introduced to Vivi. Upon meeting her Sanji decided that she was a wonderful human being deserving of only the best in life. He hoped that people didn't harass her too much but he got the feeling that under he small frame lurked the ability to handle herself if need be.

It was kind of weird to hang out in the Thousand Sunny knowing that he didn't have to work there at all. Obviously everyone was very concerned with how Zeff was doing and he was glad to tell them that he was doing alright for now. He sighed internally, he shouldn't think that way. He should say; he was glad to tell them that he was doing alright. The "for now" illustrated his general pessimism seeping casually into his frame of thought. Pleasant thoughts were what kept him going so he should not focus on the negative, no matter how hard that may be.

He'd had an amazing day so why was he feeling all that positivity drain away now that he was standing there, looking into the crowd? He hung back slightly and slowly sipped his drink.

Everyone was having a great time, although Zoro could sense Sanji's behavior was being slightly distant. When he would usually go start conversations Sanji appeared to be hanging back and waiting for people to come to him. There was also something in his expression that seemed slightly off somehow. When it became apparent that Sanji was not going to move from his present location of watching Luffy and Ussop try to steal Nami's phone out of her back pocket Zoro walked over to him. Zoro couldn't blame he for wanting to watch those two in their pathetic attempt at thievery. They were awful and it was only a matter of time before Nami beat them up for thinking they could somehow take something from her. She was not a merciful lady.

"What do you think she'll do to them?" Zoro asked as he approached.

Sanji looked up, slightly surprised at the swordsman's sudden appearance. "Probably punch them both on the top of the head, I guess. I wasn't really paying attention though."

"I figured that. I would have guessed that if you were watching you would have gone to defend Nami's phone."

"Normally I would but," he sighed, "she can take care of herself and yeah..."

"What is with you? You were fine a while ago."

"Nothing. I don't know. Change the subject, ask me something stupid to distract me."

Zoro looked confused and he blurted out the first question he could think of. "If you had to have someone's baby, whose would it be?"

Sanji gave him a very strange look. "That's the question you come up with? Seriously, what the fuck?"

"Just answer the question, asshole!"

"Fine," Sanji said crossing his arms, "I would have have George Takei's baby."

Zoro scoffed, "Oh my god, you're such a nerd. Why would you want to have George Takei's baby?"

Sanji shrugged, "I don't know, maybe I just have a thing for moderately attractive Japanese men who run around flailing swords."

"Wow, that was subtle."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," Sanji denied shaking his head. "Now you have to answer."

"Well, I don't know how I could possibly top George Takei. I can't even think of anyone whose baby I would ever think of having. Actually, I couldn't have a baby because it would mess up my training schedule. Can I just have my own baby?"

"No, you have to pick someone," Sanji said stubbornly.

"Can I just get a random sperm donor?"

"No."

"Then I don't know."

"Just say you would have my babies and we can be done with this," Sanji rolled his eyes.

"Fine, I'd have your baby but only because I couldn't think of anyone."

"Geez, way to make me feel good about myself."

"I had to deflate your ego after telling you I would have your baby in the first place, it was a matter if safety."

"Ha ha, you're hilarious," Sanji laughed sarcastically.

The evening seemed to whizz by with many laughs and a fair amount of alcohol. When they were done at Nami's the two of them went back to Zoro's. Neither of them were especially drunk, only slightly buzzed. As soon as they were inside Zoro went to fetch blankets to put on the couch for Sanji, not that he would really need it because it was far from cold in the building. As Zoro tossed the bedding onto the couch Sanji smirked half heartily at him.

"What, so I don't get to sleep with you? I promise I don't kick, I won't promise anything about the snuggling," he teased although Zoro could tell his heart wasn't really in it, he'd been like this all day. What was up with that?

Zoro gave him an unimpressed look, "What's wrong with you today? You're being really weird," he accused, fixing Sanji with a drilling stare.

Sanji's half smile fell to a quarter smile, the corner of his lips trembling slightly in an effort to retain it's place. "Nothing, nothing's wrong." He said unconvincingly.

Zoro looked at him dubiously, "Right, because that was very reassuring." Sanji's trembling smile dropped completely and his eyes slid aimlessly over the hardwood floor.

"It's not something with Zeff, is it?" Zoro asked.

Sanji looked confused for a second, "No, Zeff is fine," he assure, shaking his head, "Just stop talking about it, don't worry, nothing's wrong."

"You do realized that now I only want to know more, right?" He said moving toward the blond.

Sanji sighed in frustrating as he sat down on the couch and Zoro sat next to him. "I know," Sanji sighed quietly.

"You better just tell me so I don't have to waste my time trying to convince you any more than I already have," Zoro informed him, giving him a nudge with his elbow.

Sanji gave him a dirty look. "I've just really fucking tired, I can't sleep and when I do I end up having nightmares." He felt like his eyes were going to fall out he was so tired but every time he went to go to bed he couldn't fall asleep.

"What do you have nightmares about?"

Sanji sent him an irritated look, "Do you have to ask? What are you, my fucking therapist?"

"Just answer the fucking question, cook."

"Being taken away, like before." Sanji said unsteadily, running a hand through his hair. Not all if his dreams were of being kidnapped but they all bridged off of that traumatic point in his life.

Zoro narrowed his eyes, "I thought you didn't remember what it was like being kidnapped."

Sanji smiled bitterly, he always did feel slightly guilty about lying, "That's not exactly true, I do remember some things." He leaned back and lifted his hand to rub at his neck but Zoro grabbed his arm and pulled it away.

"What do you remember?" asked Zoro evenly, slightly worried about what he might hear. There could be nothing good beyond this point, especially if Sanji had been keeping it back.

The chef gave him a wobbly smile, "I don't want to tell you," he laughed nervously, "but then again, why the fuck not? I'm still kind of drunk and I'm in the mood to make a bad choice, the me of the future can deal with the repercussions. You want to know what I remember? Fine, if you really want to know." He let out a shaky breath, the rims of his eyes were red and he seemed slightly unstable. More unstable than usual that is. "I remember I was asleep on the bed in the hotel room."

All alone, he had been told by Zeff to go back to the hotel room after he had gotten nose blood all over the font of his nice shirt, the event was nearly over anyway. They were catering for some important family that Sanji could no longer remember, it had been a fancy wedding and there were a lot of people. The day seemed like more of a blur now. The hotel wasn't a long walk from where the wedding took place so he walked back on his own. Sanji had changed into his pajamas and tried to sleep, this was not easy because a migraine had been building up inside his head all evening. Eventually, he slipped off into a shallow sleep.

"I woke up and everything was really bright and I saw people around me."

His eyes snapped open to a blindingly white light directly overhead. His eyes burned and his head felt like it was going to split open.

He tried to blink away the brightness but it would not fade away, he was alarmed to see figures standing around the bed looking down at him. He couldn't see very well but although they were short they seemed to be towering over him from his horizontal position. He tried to sit up or ask was was going on but he was paralyzed, completely frozen in place.

"One of them injected me with something and when I woke up I was strapped in a chair and they were cutting me open." He clenched his head like he was in pain. Before he had passed out he felt the illusion of floating out of his body, which at the time made him somehow even more frightened.

A bright white room that looked a bit like a dentists office. He was strapped to a cold metal chair, laying on his back and unable to move even his head. He stayed in the room for an hour, quietly panicking and trying in vain to escape before the door slid open and the pain began.

Bright lights, shadowy figures, and painful experiences, thought Zoro, that sounded suspiciously like...

"So in short," Sanji his eyes glassy and filled with self loathing, "I remember being abducted by short gray creatures that cut me open and poked around inside me. Sounds like your typical alien abduction case," he said miserably, "I've tried rationalizing in every fucking way I can. There is no way it ever actually could have happened but it seemed so real and I can't remember anything else. It's- it's so fucking-" he choked on his words, "Nothing makes sense and I'm stressed out and tired, my head feels like it's going to split open, and now you know the extent of my fucking insanity." He buried his head in his hands.

The figures who adducted him were short and grayish in color. Their limbs were slender and their heads were large with small mouths and glassy black eyes. They looked like a black and white version of a cliché alien. Even at the time his brain had rejected the idea. It was completely beyond the realm of possibility in any sense. Even when they were cutting him open and poking around at his insides he couldn't believe it and after he was back home he could believe it even less because there were absolutely no scars to back up this absurd idea.

No one would ever believe him, not even himself. It was just too much.

Zoro was reeling. Aliens. Fucking aliens. Why? How? Zoro felt that sickly shocked feeling of being completely and utterly stunned. What the actual fuck? He didn't even know how to begun to process this bit of shitty information. His first instinct was to say 'nope' and walk right out the door, but this was Sanji and he was inside his own apartment. What could he do?

He searched Sanji's face for any sign that he was joking because this must be a joke, right? No, Sanji's face held a deep grimace and he refused to raise his eyes above the floor level. An uncomfortable pity started to creep up into his body. The sort of feeling one gets when seeing someone walk by muttering to them self madly. Unable to find the words he reached out a hand to Sanji's shoulder. He wasn't quite sure what the contact would accomplish but he had observed it in people comforting one another. Sanji leaned into the touch and slouched sideways until their shoulders were touching. It was like all the energy had drain from his body. All the pressure if keeping this information locked away was suddenly released leaving him exhausted, more so than before.

"I just want to sleep." He said quietly, "My head won't stop." Around and around it went, never stopping, never faltering, nearly driving him over the edge of sanity.

Zoro was quiet for a few minutes after that while Sanji leaned against him his hand still clenched in Zoro's grip.

"You really think you were abducted by aliens?" Zoro finally asked, the fact that he was actually in a situation where he had to seriously ask this question boggled his mind.

Sanji let out a sad little laugh, "I wouldn't say I believe it but it's what I remember, and this is why the second half of high school sucked for me. I was stupid enough to blab about it to the police when they took me in to ask questions." And why he had to go through such extensive therapy. What was worse was that it wasn't the first time he had claimed to be abducted by aliens. When he had appeared out of nowhere at age five he had said that he was taken up by aliens but that's all he had said and he remembered absolutely nothing else.

"Really though? Aliens, for real?" Zoro emphasized in a 'no fucking way' kind of way.

"Unfortunately. I don't know what really could have happened but this felt real. I can siill feel the implants under my skin," he said, his stomach threatening to roll at the mention of them. Half because he could feel them right against his skin and half because saying it out loud made him feel like a lunatic.

"Implants?" Zoro asked weakly, this was getting to be too much.

"Yeah, I can feel them under my skin but nothing shows up under scans and I couldn't physically pull them out so I guess it's just in my head like everything else. But it feels like I have one here." He sat up and pressed a finger to the small scar on the left side of his face. "Here." He placed a hand on the back if his scarred neck, "And here." He lifted his shirt and pointed to the scar under his rib cage. "This one you can feel," he said taking Zoro's hand, guiding it to the scar and pressing it hard against the soft skin of his stomach.

Zoro could in fact feel something weird as his fingers were pressed against the skin, he was pretty sure that it wasn't an alien implant, because holy fuck that would be crazy, but there was something.

"Feel it?" Asked Sanji, looking up at his face for a sign of... Something. Zoro only nodded in return and his hand was released. His expression was blank.

Sanji looked toward the door anxiously. "Yeah, so you can kick me out now, if you want. I'll just go drive my car into a lake or something, don't worry about it." He stood up to go but Zoro grabbed his hand and pulled him back down.

"You aren't going anywhere." Zoro stated, "Don't get me wrong, what you're saying is fucking insane but at least you are sane enough to know that you sound insane. Just because you're a little fucked up doesn't mean I'm going to kick you out of here, I've put in too much time on you to throw it all away like that. So go get ready for bed, dumbass, you can have my bed. You look like a fucking zombie."

Sanji looked shocked for a second. Before when he told people they would give him a painfully fake smile as they nodded to what he was saying and then avoided him in favor of talking behind his back. He felt a certain relief that Zoro hadn't done that.

A smile broke out over his face. "You're such a good fucking person," Sanji said, fixing Zoro with a look that would stop the heart of any normal person. Zoro, being a super human, only felt his heart skip a beat or two.

Sanji felt an overwhelming impulse to hug the green haired man, but because this was Zoro and he never seemed to appreciate people touching him he refrained from doing so. This had gone so much better than he could have anticipated.

"Okay," Sanji said after a moment of retaining his inner emotions, "I'm exhausted so we should defiantly go to bed now."

Zoro nodded, examining Sanji's face carefully. "You can have my bed," he said again. Sanji looked like he needed a comfortable sleep way more than Zoro did and he really didn't mind where he slept anyway.

Sanji smiled but shook his head. "I can't take your bed aways from you. I'm you're guest and so I should sleep on the couch."

"Well, you also look like you haven't slept in a million years and you need it more than I do," he pointed out.

Sanji clenched his jaw. "I'll be fine, I don't want to impose on you. Quite frankly I've already done enough damage for one night."

"You will sleep in my bed of your own free will, or I was make you sleep in my bed."

"That's a stupid threat."

"But I will follow through on it so you can go fuck yourself."

Sanji deflated against the couch, staring with mixed emotions at Zoro's determined face.

After a meaningful pause, Sanji stood and grabbed his toothbrush, taking his things into the bathroom. Zoro leaned back and rubbed a hand over his face. Why were all of his friends crazy? Why did Sanji turn out to be the craziest? He didn't have an answer to that.

Sanji soon exited the bathroom in a change of clothes and Zoro stood up to go brush his teeth as well. As they passed one another Sanji stopped him by pressing a hand to the center of his chest. Very confused Zoro looked up at him to figure out why the fuck he had been stopped when he noticed that Sanji's face was very close to his. Oh. That's why. Okay.

Sanji leaned in and closed the distance between them. This kiss was different than the others because both of them knew what was coming and could react accordingly. Their lips moved slowly together. Zoro placed his hands on Sanji's waist and pulled them together whilst Sanji clenched the front of his shirt. They remained that way for a few minutes. Making out in the middle of the living room until Sanji broke it off.

"Three times, moss head," the blond taunted, "It's a pattern, this is now officially a Thing."

Zoro sighed contently though his nose, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

Sanji snirked, "I'm always right. Now go brush your teeth, you're infecting my mouth with germs."

"Not anymore." Zoro pointed out.

"Shut up and do it, I want to go to bed before my eyes start bleeding." He already felt that he couldn't keep his eyes open.

"Then go to bed."

"Come with me," Sanji said giving his best sexy face.

Zoro pinched his cheek and pulled it, "Stop making that face and go to bed, you look like an idiot."

Sanji jerked his face back and rubbed his cheek, glaring. "I'm serious, I feel bad for making you sleep on the couch. I should be the one doing that."

"It's fine, just go," Zoro pushed his shoulders slightly toward the bedroom.

Sanji's visible eye narrowed, "Don't make me fight you for this, marimo. I won't be responsible for what happens."

Zoro rolled his eyes. What did he care anyway? "Fine, if you insist but my bed isn't very big."

"We'll fit," Sanji promised, kicking Zoro in the shin and walking into the bedroom. What a piece of work.

Zoro brushed his teeth quickly and trotted off to bed. Sanji was laying on his back, squinting at something on his phone. He didn't looks up as Zoro got in, merely shut off his phone and threw it on top of his stuff. A potentially risky move but worth it because he didn't have to get up.

With the light switched off and both of them in bed Sanji whispered a soft, "Night, marimo." To which Zoro responded by pinching his arm hard enough to bruise, staring off a battle of pinching each other until Sanji gave up and collapsed with his face in his pillow. It smelled like Zoro. With that in mind he started to drift off.

"Night, cook."

XxxX

A/N: *hysterical laughter* what am I even doing? there are so many things I want to say but can't because spoilers XD

Anyone ever been tubing? It's amazing. You should probably wear a life vest though.

I liked my George Takei tie in. That guy rocks, but after that I couldn't think of anyone for Zoro. Which celebrity's baby would Zoro have? I don't know.

Thanks.


	12. A Lack of Color

This is fact not fiction for the first time in years  
All the girls in every girlie magazine can't make me feel any less alone,  
I'm reaching for the phone to call at 7:03 and on your machine,  
I slur a plea for you to come home.  
But I know it's too late, and I should have given you a reason to stay  
Given you a reason to stay

-"A Lack Of Color" Death Cab For Cutie

XxxX

The date was June twenty seventh. Sanji had come over a few times in the last month. Zoro wished that he could be over more but Zeff seemed to be going through a rough patch in the treatment, so Sanji had things to do. The two of them being apart for long periods of time made Zoro want to lay on the floor and whine like a toddler.

Presently, Zoro was laying on his back on the couch. Sanji was supposed to coming up today. He said he would text when he got there.

Zoro was exhausted, he had spent the night up late, they were having a problem with the foundations of a house and he had to stay up with Usopp trying to fix things. It was more of him being bossed around by Usopp because he didn't know what the fuck to do. He didn't like being bossed around by Usopp, it didn't feel right but the guy knew what he was doing. That was his excuse for when he fell asleep with his phone pressed to his face.

When he woke up it was three hours past the time Sanji was supposed to have arrived. He checked his phone. No texts or missed calls, weird. He sent out a text.

Zoro 12:13 PM

Where are you? I fell asleep.

He waited a few minutes. No reply. Maybe he was driving or working or something. He tried to call him; he didn't answer so he left a message.

"Hey, sorry, I fell asleep. I was up late last night. Where are you? Call me or whatever. I just want to make sure you aren't dead or something." Ugh, leaving messages sucked. He then texted Nami and Luffy to ask if they'd seen him, neither had.

He waited another increasingly stressful forty-five minutes before calling the Baratie. He just wanted to make sure what he hadn't gone off the road or something. The weather was pretty shitty outside, the sky was dark and heavy with humidity. Earlier it wasn't raining but last night there had been a thunderstorm. It wasn't a massive rainstorm, more of a heat storm than anything. It was pretty windy though. For a while Zoro had been worried that the power would go out and that always sucked. He always walked into rooms flipping on the switches even when he knew the power wasn't working.

Zoro looked up the Baratie number on the internet and resigned himself to calling.

"Hello," said a male voice on the other end, "You've reached the Baratie. Would you like to make a reservation?"

Zoro thought he recognized the voice on the other end, "Is this Carne? I don't really care but this is Zoro, Sanji's friend," blah, saying that sounded weird. Friend didn't really seem like the appropriate word to describe their nebulous relationship but now wasn't the time for that way. "He was supposed to be here, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't there."

"Couldn't you just call him?" the voice said irritably, "He's not here. I'm hanging up now."

"Hang on, when did he leave?" Zoro heard a sigh on the other end and some muffled shouting.

"Zeff says he left at seven this morning. He wants to talk to you." The phone was handed over to the old blond chef.

"You say Sanji hasn't turned up?" Zeff said briskly.

"Yeah," Zoro breathed, trepidation growing in his chest. "He's about four hours late now and I can't get a hold of him."

"And you're sure he's not there?"

"I'm positive."

"If you don't see him by five call me, I'll call the police." He gave Zoro his personal phone number. "Call me if he turns up, boy."

"I will," Zoro confirmed and then he hung up. He sent out a few more texts, telling the gang that Sanji was missing and that they should keep an eye out for him. Then went out to drive around for a bit.

He was over reacting, right? Sure, Sanji's was missing in action but there wasn't any reason to think anything bad had happened yet, right? Zeff's promise to call the police had alarmed him but then Zeff had been in a situation where Sanji had disappeared before, it made sense to be cautious.

What if the same person had taken him? Or worse yet, what if he really was abducted by aliens? The thought had occurred to him as soon as he had happened upon the idea that Sanji was missing. That would be absurd. There were not real aliens that came down to earth and abducted people, that was crazy talk. Whatever had happened must have a rational explanation and Sanji could take care of himself, he was more than capable, he reassured himself. As the day wore on with no sign of the blond and no call from Zeff the idea that he was safe seemed to become a distant one. Maybe he had disappeared after all.

While he was panicking, he drove back part of the route Sanji would have taken. Everything looked normal, no cars in ditches or crashed on the side of the road. At one point he had to take a way around because there had been a chemical spill up one of the roads and the clean up team had to block up the road to secure the area. Zoro talked briefly to the guy directing traffic and he said that they had been out there since earlier this morning. Sanji would have had to taken a different road to get to his destination.

When five-o-clock came around Zoro had given up hope in finding him and made the call to Zeff. The old man picked up on the first ring.

"Anything?" The old man asked gruffly.

"Nothing," Zoro responded in a flat tone, what a stressful day.

"Damn..." Zeff sighed, "I'll call the police then." The call ended and Zeff talked to the proper authorities.

The police called Zoro in to get his statement about Sanji's disappearance that night, it was very late but he was glad they were on top of this.

It took them a day to find his car. It turned up closer to Sandusky than to Columbus, but far enough away that Zoro hadn't gone out to retrace his steps. The car had gone straight off the side of the road and into a corn field. They found out about it because a farmer complained about a car stopped in one of his fields, crushing his sweet corn. The car was damaged but not greatly so and all of Sanji's things like his phone were inside the vehicle. The weird part was that the car had still had the keys in and it had not been placed I park. It had been left on in this field until the battery had drained.

Zoro was driving out to the site the day they found it, a move that would defiantly annoy the police and serve to not be helpful whatsoever, not that he gave a fuck. While he was on his way he saw what appeared to be an all black, tinted windows, armored truck driving down the road that had been closed off. It struck him as a little bit odd. He wondered if maybe they were trying to clean up without any attention from the media; a cover up or something. He was thrown off enough to turn back and look up what was going on via the internet. And according to the World Wide Web nothing was going on other than a small chemical spill. Then he looked up what was along that road. No factories or chemical waste disposal sites, if something had spilled out there it had to be either through a burst pipe or someone physically dumping it there like some sort of degenerate asshole. That didn't seem totally unlikely, there were actually a lot of places like that out there and a lot of degenerates responsible for them.

Did it have anything to do with Sanji? Probably not, but that did not stop Zoro's mind from wandering. Maybe Sanji had been taken from his car, murdered, and hidden in the waste site so that no one could find his body. That could happen, right? Except Sanji had disappeared pretty far from the site and there was no sign of a struggle. It just seemed too much of a big deal not to be associated to each other. That wasn't unreasonable, right?

XxxX

With the tension of Sanji's disappearance time seemed to pass very slowly and with much anxiety. The police didn't have much to go on but after four days they were getting nowhere with finding Sanji. They were starting to think maybe he had staged all of this to run away, given his unstable background. But that was bullshit, no way it could be true. Sanji may have been unstable but he didn't really have any reasons for running away now... Well, he had been under a lot of self imposed stress and had left his normal routine before to try to escape his demons with not much success. So maybe the police did have a rational basis for their theory but that didn't stop Zoro from feeling indignant about the implications. He wasn't feeling rational so he didn't want to side the the police.

Zoro came back to the road block, it looked rather strange. A blocked off road in the middle of the flat farm land leading back into the woods. The traffic director this time was in official looking military uniform and told him to turn back immediately. The logical explanation would be that a chemical spill had gotten out of hand for some small clean up crew so they had to call in the big guns but given everything that was going on Zoro was suspicious of everything. He wanted to know what the fuck was going on back there but he just turned back, deciding to bide his time. He would play the waiting game on this one.

He had spent his time playing at detective recently instead of going to the bar after work but he was greatly unsuccessful. The real police couldn't figure anything out so it didn't seem likely that he would either because he didn't know anything about detective work. He did however write everything down everything that was happening on a small piece of paper in small his clean handwriting. Justst in case something weird happened he folded it up and stored beneath the soul of his boot. Was that the act of a paranoid person. Yes, it probably was, but weird things had been happening and Zoro wasn't about to take any chances.

XxxX

July third was Nami's birthday. They were having a small party at her house, no one was really up for a big party. The fact that Sanji was still missing was a huge damper on the event but they tried to make the best of it anyway. They went out on the boat for a while. The weather was humid and hot but the lake felt very refreshing. They didn't stay out for long as rain began to fall onto them.

Back at the house they continued in their party going. However, the fact that they had to order pizza drove home the fact that Sanji truly was not there. They had all done, and were doing, what they could to aid the investigation but that was only so much and there was nearly nothing to go on. Not being able to do something was the worst part. It was unfortunate when Sanji couldn't be there because he was in Columbus but now that there was absolutely no way he could be there it seem to be an ache. They tried to carry on none the less.

At some point during the night Zoro found himself talking with Nami about something stupid when a sudden idea struck him. This sudden idea soon became a burning question and just had to be asked.

"Oi, Nami," he started, shifting a bottle between his hands, "There's something I want to ask you about."

"What?" Nami asked slightly suspiciously.

"There's this place a while out of town where there's this chemical spill. Have you seen it?" he asked cautiously.

Nami nodded with a confused expression on her face. "Yeah, what about it?"

"I don't know, I just get this weird feeling about it. I've seen military cars going in and out, and it just seems kind of weird."

"So, what?"

"So, I was wondering if you would be willing to break in with me?"

Her eyes widened comically. "You're joking, right? How could you expect to get into a secure area that probably harbors dangerous chemicals? If you go in I promise that you will be arrested on the spot. I don't particularly want to be arrested by a bunch of angry military people."

"Come on, Nami, it wouldn't be that hard! It's totally surrounded by corn fields so we could just sneak up and get a quick look. No one would know we were there," he argued.

"It's definitely not going to be that simple. Why are you asking me anyway?"

"Because if anyone can break into a military no go zone it's you," he said with a suspicious expression, like he was silently accusing her if many illegal practices.

She rolled her eyes indicating that his suspicions were totally unwarranted. "What are you hoping to find once you're in there?"

"I'll tell you once I see what they're doing."

"You want me to help you when I don't even know the nature of the mission."

"Yes, so will you do it?"

She smirked. "Hm, well, I might be inclined to help you for a certain sum of money. I will warn you that it will be a lot since I'm putting my ass on the line here."

Zoro groaned, he had seen this coming so he wasn't surprised. "How much?" he asked miserably.

Nami laughed, "I think that can be settled at a later date. Don't worry about that right now, I will collect at a later date."

Zoro was beginning to feel like he was selling his soul or dealing with a member of the mafia, but he was determined to know what was going on out there. "Fine, if you can get me in there I will give you your unreasonable amount of money." He held out his hand to settle the deal.

Nami looked slightly surprised that he was going to follow through, but shook his hand anyway. "Alright then, let's settle this out now."

She then started to plot out their plan to get in. It was a decent plan for being made up on the spot. They decided that they should just go out tomorrow night and get it over with. No need to hold out the suspense. It was also decided that they should go in with just the two of them. Not they didn't want to take everyone but the more people involved the more they had to worry about. Also, some of their friends tended to be on the obnoxious, not sneaky side.

The rest of the evening carried on well enough. Everyone had a good time and by the end of the night all the gloom had been pushed away under the rug.

When Zoro got home he flopped into bed, staring up at the ceiling. He wondered what Sanji was staring at. Hopefully not a bright light, or strange alien medical tools, or worse, aliens themselves. Hopefully he was safe and sound somewhere but that was probably unlikely.

XxxX

The next day was filled with a lot of sitting around waiting for night to fall so that they could go out to the field. It was very unpleasant and he was full of energy from the time he got up to the time Nami texted him they she was ready.

One fairly short drive later they were at the target area, parked close but not close enough to be suspicious. The area was surrounded by corn fields so they would sneak though the corn to the woods behind where they assumed that things were going on. They chose not take any cell phones or identification just in case they were captured or something. All Zoro could think of was the movie Thor and that chick trying to sneak in to a government monitored area. Or something like that, he couldn't really remember, it wasn't a very good movie. Good, but not good enough to be memorable. That summed up Thor's character pretty well. Whatever, he wasn't much of a super hero fan.

They set out as soon as it was dark, the crickets were chirping and the katydids were calling. Beneath their feet crushed corn stalks crunched in the erie night. Sneaking through the corn, Nami made sure Zoro didn't get lost by dragging him around by the arm. They could take no risks with this. The walk was more than twenty minutes but they eventually did made it to the edge of the woods where things were being rather heavily patrolled but military personnel and people in hazmat suits. Very strange... Or maybe not. This was supposed to be a chemical clean up site and he didn't really know how those things usually rolled.

Sneaking through a corn field was not as easy as one might think. They had to move very slowly through the rows and tried very hard not to disturb any animals that might be rummaging around. All the while their adrenal gland was working over time to keep them alert. It was like the suspense in a horror film except it was real and it wasn't so disappointing.

The corn field ended abruptly at the edge of the woods. From where they crouched they could see people patrolling around menacingly but security didn't seem mega-high. All the action seemed to be going on behind all those pesky trees. God damn, nature, always in the way. If they wanted to see anything at all they would have to get over there.

They silently decided to risk being exposed to harmful chemicals and look farther in. They managed to dodge the patrol by waiting for the perfect opportunity and being lucky, and snuck into the woods. Inside there was a large patch where trees had been burned and had fallen, surrounding a crater in the middle with nothing but upheaved and burnt dirt.

They watched the people in suits move about for a while, through the trees they could see a person barking orders to people. It was impossible to know gender as this person was wearing a hazmat suit and the voice was muffled by distance and a crackling speaker. They assumed this person was telling the other people what to do and where to go. Some of the people in suits were in the crater were carrying things out and hauling them onto a truck while others were spraying some sort of vapor over everything.

They only stayed for about ten minutes, Zoro wished they could had stayed longer but they had nearly been caught multiple times in only that short time frame. They left when they had seen all they were able to from that distance.

It was more difficult to get out than it was to get in. They had to run out if the trees while no one was looking and dive into the corn like rabbits. They gently eased away from the area and out if the corn field to the car.

On the way home they tried to figure out what the hell was going on. They waited until they were in the car going home before they said anything, just in case.

"What the fuck do you think they were doing?" Zoro asked Nami from the passenger's seat.

"I don't know, it looked like something exploded and they were picking up the pieces," Nami mused, it was not a bad theory but Zoro couldn't shake the idea he was starting to form.

It looked like a UFO crash site, or at least what he expected a UFO crash site to look like, he thought, minus the UFO. Maybe he was letting the fantastic delusions of Sanji take over him imagination. He decided not to say this out loud and risk sounding like a total nutter but the idea was swimming through his mind. Maybe this was a government cover up, maybe a UFO crashed on it's way to pick up Sanji. If that were the case they would have had to send out a second UFO to retrieve him, but this was fairly far past where Sanji had gone missing. Maybe they could have been thrown off course in the heat storm. It made sense in a convoluted conspiracy kind of way, but he wasn't yet willing to share his fucking crazy thoughts with anyone just yet. He could hardly believe he was even considering this in the first place.

They drove home after finding no solid answers, only more questions and a half baked conspiracy theory. They soon parted ways and Zoro took a well earned warm shower and went to bed with a slight headache. He lay awake wondering where Sanji was and what they were doing to him. The more he thought about all of this the more he thought about how badly it would suck if Sanji really had been abducted by aliens not just one but multiple times with no one to believe him. To have something so traumatic happen and to have no one to talk with about it would be really shitty.

Zoro also hated to admit it but he was worried no matter what had happened. It had only been a few days but it felt like longer, it wasn't this bad when he was home at he Baratie but he supposed that was because he knew where he was and that he was safe. He had good reason to be worried but it still felt weird being so concerned over his welfare. He at least hoped that they wouldn't be hurting him. Would that be so much to ask?

Zoro's eyes snapped open. The darkness was oppressive and he suddenly felt claustrophobic. His skin was slick and sweaty, his stomach gave a horrible lurch prompting him to run to the bathroom. He heaved into the toilet and whatever was in his stomach came up with vicious force. He hated throwing up, he didn't know how bulimics could do it.

He spent the rest of the night laying on the bathroom floor, waking up every now and then to throw up. In the morning he checked and he didn't have a fever. Maybe he was exposed to something at the site. He decided to text Nami and find out if she was sick as well.

Zoro 8:25 AM

Hey, are you sick too? Because I spent all night puking my guts up.

Nami 8:34 AM

Yes, I should have never gone with you now we probably have radiation poisoning or something.

Zoro 8:36 AM

Not a bad guess, I looked it up and my symptoms do actually line up with mild radiation sickness.

Nami 8:37 AM

Should we see a doctor?

Zoro 8:38 AM

Maybe but I'm not going to. They're probably watching for people to come in with radiation sickness.

Nami 8:39 AM

Zoro I think you're starting to get paranoid.

She did have a fair point.

They were both better within twenty four hours and Zoro was all the more curious about what was going on. He visited a nearby town where the military just so happened to have soldiers staying and tried to talk to some of the people there. No one wanted to talk to him, they remained wary and refused to disclose anything, especially when they were together. He obviously didn't outright asks them what was going on, he only made idle conversation when it seemed natural to do so but they were still distant. He came back for three consecutive days and on the fourth day he found one guy, on his own, his car on the side of the road with it's hood up.

He was in the middle of a soybean field and it didn't look like he would be getting any help soon. Zoro stopped to ask if he needed any assistance. He pulled over his car and got out, approaching the army vehicle.

"Need any help?" Zoro asked as he raised a hand in greeting, his boots crunching the road side gravel as he walked.

A head poked out from the front of the car. "Yeah, that would be super," the soldier said, "I stopped it to check some stuff and now it won't start. I think I need a jump." The man was large, his hair was bright blue, his army issue uniform was rolled up and he had two star tattoos on his exposed forearms. An odd looking man to be sure.

"Sure thing," Zoro said, he turned back to his car, pulled it around and popped up the hood.

The soldier smiled with relief as he pulled two cables from his truck. "Thanks, dude. You're a life saver."

Zoro decided it would be best to fane ignorance if he wanted to get somewhere with this guy. This was probably his best chance of getting any kind of information. "What is a guy like you doing way out here in the middle of nowhere anyway?" he asked as causally as he could.

The man laughed as he attached the cables to the proper places on his vehicle. "Confidential, I can't talk about it." A redundant statement if ever there was one.

"It's not anything no have to worry about, is it?" Zoro asked, making sure to raise his tone in worry. He hoped he wasn't being to suspicious, he wasn't very good at being manipulative most of the time.

The blue haired man shrugged. "Nah, we won't be around for that long. Where are you headed anyway?" He glanced over his shoulder at Zoro, who had just finished connecting his wires.

"Columbus, I'm going to see a friend," he lied flawlessly. He dearly wished that were actually the case.

"Lucky you, I haven't been out and about in forever." The man complained as Zoro walked over to start his engine.

"They don't let you go out at the end of the day or anything?" Zoro asked from his driver seat. He stepped out to resume the conversation.

The soldier shook his head sadly, "Nope, well, sometimes I can get away but not really. I'm not even supposed to talk to you really but this is a special circumstance."

Zoro smirked at that, "Well, if you get a chance my friend up in Sandusky has a bar, it's the Thousand Sunny. If you can get away for the night."

"That sounds super," the solder said as he attempted to start his car. The engine shuddered to life much to his joy. He got out again. "Thanks a million, bro. I'll be sure to come in if I can. The name's Franky," Franky said, extending a hand.

"Zoro," Zoro said taking said hand and offering a firm, manly handshake. He hoped that they would he seeing each other again very soon.

XxxX

Three days later Nami texted Zoro that there was a man who said he knew him in the bar. It was after Zoro had already gone home but he rushed right back when he heard this news.

When Zoro walked though the door of Nami's bar he saw Franky's large figure sitting in a stool at the bar. He pulled back the seat next to him.

"Fancy meeting you here," Zoro said, mentally slapping himself for sounding like such a fucking dumbass. Why the hell was he so awkward around people?

Franky smiled back at him but his smile seemed somewhat lacking in strength. "I snuck away for a drink," he said lifting his glass as evidence. Zoro wondered how exactly he had managed to get away but he had other more important things to do. By that he meant manipulating the conversation to get answers out of this nice man.

"Something wrong?" Zoro asked with a raised eyebrow, the man seemed more subdued than when they last met. He felt bad for hoping that there was something wrong but not enough to stop himself.

Franky let out a low sigh, "Nothing I can talk about," he mumbled miserably.

"You seem like you need to get something off your chest. Could you water it down so that I don't know what you're talking about," he suggested, it had to be better than nothing.

Franky snorted, "I'll give it a shot," he took a drink and started to speak, "I'm in the Air Force and I've been in the military for a while now, I just joined this new unit. It's been very... different. I'm not sure it's the right fit." He concluded.

"What's wrong with it?" Zoro asked in interest. There was most likely no way that he would get an actual answer but it was worth a shot anyway. He had already gotten more than he ever expected he would. It all seemed like it was a little too easy and that made him nervous.

"Can't tell you, confidential." Again with that redundant statement.

They chatted back and forth for a few hours about mundane things before Franky realized how late it was. Franky promised to come back when he got the chance.

Zoro hoped that he would come back, he was a pretty okay guy but he also had secrets that Zoro desperately wanted to have for himself.

XxxX

A/N: Oh, look! We finally got all the exposition out it the way, soooo much lead up. This is the point where i started to get bored with it though :-/ And we found Franky :D

Nami is like the best, guys. Very mild radiation poisoning is the worst though. Don't ever go near a chemical spill, only bad things can happen.

Thanks.


	13. Walking

You can fight the fire that's in your head  
Lay it down, the hour has come to end  
Walk around without her just for a bit  
Looking back upon the way things had been

-"Walking" The Dodos

XxxX

Franky visiting the Thousand Sunny was not a one time thing. He came back a few times. Apparently it was difficult to escape the watchful eye of his supervisor but he managed to get away on a few occasions.

He one night he came in and got totally trashed, trying to outdrink Zoro. He had seemed upset when he came in so Zoro pressed him for answers while he was intoxicated. He felt guilty about it but not enough to not do it at all. He hated that he was being such a slime ball about this, but what else could he do?

"Hey, is anything wrong?" He asked cautiously, he didn't want to set off the 'it's confidential' alarm. Damn the military for having so many secrets, why couldn't everyone just be open about things? Because of all the chaos it would cause? Whatever, it was still shitty.

"I don't think I can do this anymore," Franky moaned nearly incoherently into the counter.

"Do what?" Zoro prodded holding his breath.

"This unit," Franky lifted his head and made a vague gesture with his hand, "It's just- I know it's not supposed to be like this and I know I shouldn't complain. I went through so much screening to get here but now-" he broke off, slumping again.

"What's wrong with it?" Was wasn't wrong with mysterious military teams that showed up suddenly and stirred up questions that shouldn't have to be asked?

"You know I can't tell you," the blue haired man sighed unhappily, "I would if I could," he assured.

"I know, but what am I going to do with that information?" Zoro said exasperatedly. If he didn't have an agenda and he were just some guy he wouldn't do anything with it, but if he had no agenda then he wouldn't have been on the road where they met in the first place. Funny how things work out sometimes.

Franky looked both ways as if someone might overhear them. Was he really about to tell? Zoro could hardly believe it when Franky spoke in a low, quiet voice. This man was about to become a security breach. What the fuck was the military doing employing people like him? Not that he was complaining because it worked out in his favor, but still.

"Okay, I don't know much because I'm new but whatever we're cleaning up, I've never seen anything like it. Everything's radioactive so we have to use big bulky suits, which are horrible in this heat. We had to retrieve bodies when we first got there, they were so burnt up, they hardly looked human. It was horrible." He shook his head thinking back to the event.

"Was it like a jet or a plane or something?" Zoro asked, he figured if it looked like it had fallen from the sky and it had bodies inside then it must be some kind of flying machine. He tried not to let the thought of a spherical UFO pollute his thoughts.

"I don't know, I used to work in air defense and I know that they got a hit out there on something before we were called down." Zoro's brain immediately jumped to the image of a dark room filled with Cold War era technology and blipping green radars. Technology had probably progressed since then but the sixties seemed to be the usual set up for science fiction stories.

"So was it like some secret test flight or something?" It had to be, right? Something like that could in part validate part of Sanji's story and it seemed more and more like he was trying to prove Sanji's sanity.

"I don't know," Franky said again, "I don't think it was a test. They don't test stuff like that around here, too many people. They usually test things out west. I heard one of the other guys talking about some malfunction or something. He said that the other vessel completed it's mission." That sounded ambiguous enough to be talking about Sanji's pick up and subsequent disappearance. He felt his heart somehow pick up its already rapid pace.

"What was it's mission?" It seemed extremely doubtful that he would know anything but he decided to keep on that line of questioning anyway.

His eyes shifted away, "Beats me. All he said was that it retrieved its target and made it back to base." He was lying. He did know something. That was why he was so upset. Why he was releasing this information in the first place.

Zoro caught on immediately and added pressure to this point, "Are you sure?"

Franky hesitated, "Okay, yesterday I visited Wright-Patterson Air Force Base and I saw some things that... I can't talk about. I- just- I'm sorry. It's too big. I could get in a lot of trouble. I think my commanding officer already suspects me of something. She doesn't miss anything."

Zoro narrowed his eyes, time for a change of topic, "Hey, I didn't tell you why I was going out to that town when I jump started your car, did I?"

"You said you were visiting a friend," Franky said sounding very confused.

"Actually, I was heading out because a few weeks ago he went missing and I've been retracing his route, trying to figure out where he could have gone. His car actually turned up not that far from your crash site. This wouldn't be related would it?"

Franky was pale and his glass nearly slid out of his hand, "Y-your friend went missing?" he sputtered.

"Yeah, he did." Zoro nodded.

"Poor bastard," Franky choked out, taking another drink.

That didn't seem like a good response. "Why would you say that?"

"Because they- they do tests. I don't know what happens, I just learned about it. I can't imagine-" he made exaggerated motions to try and describe what he could not.

"So what, are they hurting him?" Bastards, hadn't he suffered enough? This was presuming that he was taken away by this air vehicle and stored in this military base because there was still no real evidence of that.

Franky grimaced, "Probably. I don't know what-"

"They you have to help us get him out." Zoro interjected.

Franky looked incredibly frightened, "No way, it's impossible. You're crazy!"

"Just listen," he insisted, "If you can get us in then we could-"

But Franky was done. "No! No, whatever idea you've thought up I don't want to hear it. I shouldn't have said anything in the first place," he stood suddenly, fumbling to get the money from his pocket.

"Hang on-"

"No, I have to go now." He placed the money down and turned as sharply as he was able to, storming out. He left Zoro feeling extremely frustrated. Zoro understood that he had his orders but that didn't help with the throbbing pain it caused his head. He wished that he could run and knock some sense into the soldier but he felt that it wouldn't do him much good. Another part of him was hoping that he got back to wherever he was staying safely because he was pretty drunk when he stormed out.

If Franky wasn't going to help then he would do it himself, he already knew where to go. How hard could it be to break into a military base? They were only built to be as secure as humanly possible.

After some heavy brooding, and ignoring Vivi's curious glances, Zoro left the bar to plan his next move, he would have to tread carefully. He didn't want to be arrested after all.

On the way home his thoughts were an ever downward spiral. His thoughts ran together in a messy cycle of shit. Now that it seemed more probable that Sanji was in pain and obvious danger it suddenly seemed all the more important to retrieve him. Unfortunately, he was not a master planner and he was getting nowhere very fast.

How the hell was he going to get himself into Wright-Patterson Air Force Base? It was literally a military base. Zoro had actually been there once to the Air Force museum. He was visiting a friend in Dayton and thought that it would be awesome to check out the massive amount if airplanes they had. It was actually kind of amazing. They had super old World War One and Two planes all decked out with their war paint. They had Vietnam era planes and other Cold War era planes that carried around nuclear weapons. That was actually his favorite thing, he loved a bit of Cold War history, which made the Boeing B-52 Stratofortress an obvious candidate for his favorites.

Who could deny that it wasn't awesome? It was huge and silver, created in 1952 and still in use, the idea of it was created right there in Ohio, and it was strategic bomber. Maybe it wasn't so great when it was dumping bombs onto Vietnam or threatening the world with it's nuclear vessels but it for some reason held a special place in Zoro's heart. But the nuclear vessels thing really shitty, they carried them around while that were going on flights and there was at least one time were one of the planes crashed over in Europe but luckily the hydrogen bombs inside did not detonate. There were more regulations after that, defiantly for good reason.

The point was that it had seemed totally normal when he was there and the idea that there was a place inside that base where Sanji was bing held seemed crazy.

As soon as he stepped into his apartment his cellphone started ringing. Oh, how he detested cellphones. They were convenient but he didn't even want to talk to people face to face let alone from far away into a tiny box. He checked the number; it read unknown. His heart leaped irrationally at the thought that maybe someone had found Sanji or that maybe Franky had somehow found his number and changed his mind. He quickly picked up the line.

"Hello?" He asked, trying to suppress that hope that had begun to swell treacherously in his chest.

A low female voice spoke calmly through the speaker, throwing him off slightly. "Hello, mister Roronoa. I've been very much looking forward to speaking with you," she said. Her voice sounded like it held a smile but the sly sort of smile reserved for those people who are deceitful and cunning at heart.

"Who is this?" Zoro asked nervously. Whatever this was it couldn't be good. His first thought was that Franky's loose speech had been discovered, but then why would he get this call? Surly they would just abduct him like they did Sanji. And he and Franky had only parted ways about an hour and a half ago, could they really know so so quickly. Whoever they were.

"I've been doing my job for longer than I care to admit, mister Roronoa. Do you not think I can see the signs of a soldier in distress, not see the sings that he's unsatisfied, out and talking to people?" So this was something to do with Franky. But the question was unfair. He had no idea how this woman was and therefor could never have judged her intelligence or perception. None the less Zoro's stomach dropped to a sickening low, he remembered Franky mentioning his commanding officer being a perceptive woman. This could be her.

"Who are you? What do you want?" He feigned ignorance of the implications of the situation only because he did not know what else to do. What could he do?

"I want you to do something for me and I don't want you to mess up." Her words were sharp and matter-o-fact.

This puzzled Zoro, if he was right then this woman had authority over at least all the people he had seen at the site, if not more. What would she want from someone like him?

"If you want something done why don't you ask one of your people?" he asked suspiciously.

She did not falter in her reply, "Because I need a nobody for this, someone not so easily disappeared as someone working in this area of work. If only marginally so. You have the background I need and I assure you that listening will be to your benefit."

"I'm listening." This was leading somewhere, he could tell, somewhere dangerous.

"Good," again there was the sense of a sinister smile, "I want you to break into the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base and I want you to get your friend out. He is most defiantly there and, I'm sure, in a good deal of discomfort. I am sure that you, a loyal friend," she put emphasis on the word, "would very much like him to be safe and sound. I will provide the means and information for you to make this happen at a later date."

It seemed too easy. She was literally handing him the opportunity. "Why would you want that? Isn't it your job to cover things up?" Zoro pointed out, this was quite the opposite of what he was expecting.

"Like I said, I've been doing this job for a long time and I have seen many, many things. I want something interesting to happen, they have to find out at some point, all those silly nobodies. Nothing can remain a secret forever, I'm just giving that little push that will bring certain things to light."

"But bring what to light?" Zoro asked, although he knew that he was pushing his luck.

The woman tutted condescendingly at him, "All in due time, mister Roronoa. So are you willing to join my cause?"

"What if I'm not?" He asked mostly out if curiosity, there was no way he would turn down an offer like this one.

"If you are not then I will have no choice but to make you temporarily disappear, like I'm supposed to, but I should hope that it won't come to that." Words so soft but with implications so dark.

"Fine, how are we doing this?"

"I will send your soldier friend out tomorrow with plans and supplies. It is a pleasure to be working with you," the woman said.

"How will I contact you?"

"You won't, if I need you I will contact you. Just remember this; if at anytime something goes wrong and I need to run you will receive some form of message with the sentence 'Sorry, I jusst couldn't help myself.' If the message is written the word 'just' will contain two 's's, if it is verbal the 's' sound will be elongated. But I hope that it doesn't come to that." She then hung up.

Zoro stared at his phone for a few seconds, rolling this conversation around in his head. He felt as if he had signed away his soul to some demon and was waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was not a pleasant feeling and that night he found it shockingly difficult to sleep. His mind kept turning over the strange direction his life had take at the entrance of Sanji.

If he hadn't appeared only to disappear then there would be so much less drama and life would be so much less interesting. And now he knew for sure that Sanji had been taken away. Confusingly, he had been taken away by what sounded like the government and not aliens, which was weird. What could the government be doing abducting people and cutting them open? He might know soon enough, although he kind of doubted it. This seemed like the start if something very complicated that even the people involved had trouble explaining.

When he did sleep it was shallow and filled by strange, dark half dreams.

XxxX

Franky showed up the next day looking a little bit shaken. According to Nami he had been there since she had opened up. Zoro took the seat next to the man and looked to him expectantly. When he had left the day before Zoro had fully expected to never see him again but in light of the phone call he had received his arrival did not seem out of place.

"Are you alright?" Zoro asked lowly. Franky did not look alright, he looked nervous and afraid.

He shook his head slightly, "My commanding officer told me to come here. I thought she was going to throw me out. She gave me a bag," Franky gestured to the book bag at his feet, "I'm supposed to leave it here when I go. Don't look through it here, wait until you're home. I don't like this, I hope you know what you're doing, bro." He looked at Zoro, his eyes wandering in concern.

"I hope so too," Zoro sighed, he was growing increasingly anxious about this whole ordeal. Anything that had to do with breaking into a government facility seemed like a horrible idea with even more horrible consequences.

Zoro decided that he would change the topic to something less dangerous. "So, why did you join the Air Force in the first place?" he asked curiously.

Franky let out a bitter laugh, "Not so that I could do this, I'll tell you that."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I was recruited right out of high school because I wanted to go into the Air Force and I didn't have the money to pay for college."

Zoro nodded in understanding, many people from his school joined the military for financial reasons. He had never seen the appeal of the military, he didn't like using guns much as weapons and he didn't like the idea of being stuck to his orders. He didn't want to be a mindless drone stuck in a fixed action pattern to comply to orders. At least not the government's orders. Despite this he thought he would probably be a good soldier if he ever wanted to be.

"I used to repair planes, that was great. I got my degree as an engineer and I fixed up all the crafts that came in. They all were super, I wish I hadn't left that," he sighed regretfully.

"Why did you?"

"I was offered a promotion; higher pay, under the utmost secrecy, repairing more interesting vehicles. That sort of thing. I just though they would be having me work on prototypes and that is part of it. I enjoy that part, it's super, but the other stuff I can't stomach."

"What part is that?" Zoro was getting tired of always having to ask questions. He wished that he could just be all knowing and get it over with.

"The part where I have to do stuff like cleaning up hazardous materials. They don't want to involve more people than necessary so they make nonessential personnel do stuff like that. That's not even the worst part. The worst part is that I know what's going on downstairs," he shuddered, "Every time I go in there I think about it and it makes me sick. I've only been down there a few times for medical aid because that's where all the doctors are but it makes my skin crawl."

"Is that where Sanji is?"

Frankly nodded mutely, "Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it anymore, you'll find out soon enough anyway."

Franky left after about ten minutes later, his foot steps heavy and his demeanor gloomy.

He seemed like he really did not want to be there but Zoro couldn't really blame him for that, they were making him put his ass on the line for someone he didn't know. After he had hurried out Zoro strategically waited another fifteen minutes before leaving, carrying the backpack out with him.

He rushed home and as soon as he was inside he unzipped the bag. Inside there were notes on the inner workings of the Air Force base and how everything was to be planned out. Zoro was slightly alarmed that this plan included some of his other friends, who he assumed must have received similar calls. Along with these plans there were cosmetic supplies and fake identification to get in, they were to make themselves match the pictures on the IDs. He was going to need help with that.

Zoro busied himself committing the plan to memory, the operation would take place on that Thursday, not long to prepare and the instructions should be burned as soon as possible.

Memorizing the plan wasn't so hard. As soon as he could recite it backward and forward he took the papers and put them in his bag. The next day he went out to one of the beaches where no one was around and lit them on fire, letting the ashes fall slowly into the cloudy water. He hoped that this wasn't too bad for the lake but it already had so much shit in it that it hardly seemed like something to worry about, although he knew he should. Caring is just really hard sometimes, especially when one has other things on their mind.

These few days of waiting passed excruciatingly slowly and were filled by knowing looks between himself and his friends. No one said anything, of course, but they all were aware of what was going on. Zoro was surprised at how well Luffy contained his excitement. He was nearly at the point of explosion but he held his tongue. This was like a dream come true for him. They were going to go rescue someone like a gang of secret agents. It was like something out of a action movie, very exciting.

XxxX

When the day came Zoro nervously awaited the time for the action to come. The disguising was the irritating part. Before they left they had to make themselves look different. Usopp, being artistically inclined, helped Luffy. Zoro was aided by Nami.

Nami's disguise wasn't especially difficult for her to pull off. She had used temporary dye to color her hair light brown, put in dark blue contacts, and concealed any facial imperfections (a light dusting of freckles) with a layer of makeup, then pulled her hair back in a tight, clean ponytail. None of these things were difficult to do, the part she hated about this was taping her chest to throw off her figure. She felt like she was going to explode from the tension.

She did look pretty different and it startled Zoro as he walked into their designated meeting place, not bothering to knock. They were meeting in a little condo outside of town. The door was unlocked and Zoro didn't bother to think how this had been arranged.

Nami, in the middle of pulling her hair back in front of a mirror, turned to him in irritation. "You know it's polite to knock, I could have been naked in here."

Zoro wrinkled his nose. "I'll be sure to knock next time." That was not something he wanted to subject himself to. It would be uncomfortably like seeing a sister naked.

Nami rolled her now blue eyes, "Come here and we'll get started," she said, beaconing him over to her kitchen table where an array of make up was organized. Zoro sighed and resigned himself to whatever torture he would be forced through.

The first thing they did was dye his hair black, it didn't take long but Zoro disliked the way it looked and he disliked that he had to dye his eyebrows to conceal the green color of his hair. Once his hair was dry it was combed down over his forehead because there wasn't much else they could do with it to change the style. Ugh, he was looking more and more like a normal Japanese man instead of like himself but that was the point even though he didn't like it. Next, Nami used liquid latex to cover the three piercings in his ear. The other cosmetic products she used were to add contrast and make the structure of his face appear different. She also drew on a small freckle on his left cheek. The final touch was padding under his clothes to make him look bulkier than he really was.

When Nami was done she guided them to a mirror and they looked at their own reflections in shock. It was amazing what a little make up magic could do. Obviously, people who knew them might recognize them, but they would not be studied in depth where they were going. It would only be brief studied glances to get through security. No problemo.

They had finished with limited time to spare so they immediately went out to Nami's car, Zoro had been dropped off down the road by Yosaku. The witch would be driving because they couldn't take any chances with this. Back at the bar Vivi was in charge, she was their alibi. She didn't know what exactly was going on but Nami trusted her and she trusted Nami enough to do this for her. The security tape in the bar, which Nami kept for security reasons, as the name suggested, had a prerecorded film of Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, and Nami in the bar. They were not on the video for the full time, that might seem a bit too convenient. They were planned to have left at different times but they would all be cleared of suspicion.

The two of them drove for about an hour out of town to a parking lot where they met with the others. It was one of those lots you drove by in the middle of nowhere where there were always cars but you never saw anyone ever getting in them of driving off. They had never really made sense to Zoro until now and he suddenly appreciated them and their lack of security cameras.

The drive was mostly quiet aside form the low playing radio spouting off shitty popular songs to break the tension. The sky was clear with only a few thin gray clouds appeared frozen in their place in the upper stratosphere.

Tension was rising and the adrenalin was starting to flow through their veins so they tried to focus on other things if possible, not on this absurd thing they were about to do. When they pulled into the lot the army vehicle was already there. Luffy was leaning leaning against it nearly vibrating in excitement. He was wearing boots to make himself taller and there was a small about of bulk added under his clothes. Zoro guessed that had used liquid latex to some degree because something about his face looked off somehow, he couldn't quite tell what it was but it was weird. His scar was covered and his hair was smoothed back. There were the edges of a tattoo just slightly poking up above his collar and a few freckles dotted his face.

"Let's go, let's go!" He urged them, throwing two uniforms their way. They had to change outside but they were in the middle of nowhere so they didn't mind much. Inside the vehicle Franky sat in the driver's seat, clenching the steering wheel anxiously. He had already been seen by at least some of the base's employees and the hope was that because of this there would be less suspicion with them arriving, they were expected anyway. Franky's commanding officer had set everything up for them.

In the back Usopp and Chopper were sitting. Usopp would not be going with them, he had a very... Distinguished face and would be more easily recognized. It wasn't his fault that he looked like Pinocchio but unless they wanted to surgically alter his face he would be staying behind in this lot and keeping in contact with the spider that set all this up. He had a laptop to monitor their progress and would inform her as to what was going on, from their she would instruct him. When they got into the car he got out wishing them good luck and giving a nervous smile. Zoro suspected that he was secretly glad that he didn't have to go with them.

Chopper was nervously fiddling with the end of his shirt. His short light colored hair was dyed a darker shade of brown and slicked back, he had in blue eye contacts and had freckles painted over his face. He an Nami looked like they could be brother and sister. He still looked young but whatever makeup he had done made him looked older than he was and the height the boots helped with that. Zoro felt bad for him being there, he was still just a kid but if Sanji needed medical attention then they would need a doctor and Chopper was the very best doctor they knew. What was worse was that he would be going alone for his part of this mission. Zoro wished he could just wait in the car or something but evidently that wouldn't cut it here.

With the four of them safely in the back they began the two hour drive to the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base. It was seven PM when they left and the darkness surrounded them as if to aid in their disguise.

Luff seemed to be the only one who displayed no hint of nervousness. Maybe Zoro didn't either, he couldn't feel his face well enough to tell, but he felt it inside. Luffy didn't even look like he felt the slightest amount of pressure. He was a one of a kind, that one.

They went over the plan once again, just to make sure they all had it down. Flawless. They couldn't make any mistakes on this, the stakes were way, way, way too high for that. The gravity of what they were doing was nearly great enough to crush them under it magnificent force. Despite this none of them backed out, that may have been attributed to the threat of being disappeared but more likely it was their sense of loyalty. If Sanji was in harm's way they were going to get him back, no matter the cost, because he was one of them and they weren't going to let anything get in the way of that.

XxxX

A/N: Wright-Patterson is actually the reason why Ohio was perfect for the setting. For those of you who don't know hanger number eighteen in that base is caught up in a conspiracy theory. According to this crazy conspiracy after the supposed Roswell UFO crash the bodies of the aliens found there were take to this hanger where other other worldly articles have been gathered. Actually, they have an amazing Air Force museum at Wright-Patterson that I've actually been to, so it seems pretty normal. Also I'm going to go out on a limb and say Roswell was total bullshit, go figure.

Also, I imagine it's not too hard to guess who set all this up. I should warn you that I know very little about the military. And you may be surprised at how far a bit of stage make up will take you.

Thanks.


	14. I will, I swear

Wherever you are  
I swear that I'll find you  
Just know that I'll be there  
Whenever you're not ok  
I've got a place to stay  
I built it just for you

Sleep is for the weak they said  
We don't need no sleep today  
We'll never go away  
Sleep is for the weak they said  
We don't need no sleep today  
We'll never go away

-"I will, I swear" Sleep

XxxX

When they approached the gate nervousness and doubt started to set in. Franky gave the man in front a sheet of paper and they were instructed to get out for a routine search. They turned up nothing, which was good because they were hiding a lot. Then they were inside the gates of the base.

Franky apparently knew where to go because he did not falter in his direction toward a smallish semi-circle of a buildings toward the back of the large enclosed area. As they neared it there was another layer of security to get through, which they passed with alarming ease.

"Welcome to hanger 18," Franky mumbled darkly as they drove toward the building. It was a large half cylinder building like all the all the others, it didn't look particularly special. The the buildings looked a little weird; they were very large because they were hangers but the shape made them seem somehow short and flat. It was really quite irritating.

The vehicle was parked in the large semi-full parking lot and the occupants slowly exited. As he looked at the toad like building in front of him Zoro felt a bubble of excitement. Sanji was in there somewhere, they just had to get him out. He was just worried about the state in which they would find him.

They calmly approached the doors, flashing their identification and stopping for the guards to observe them. There was a terrifying moment that each of them experienced when they were being stared down. There was that slight lingering doubt that maybe they hadn't been well enough disguised but the moment passed and they were allowed to pass through, once again with alarming ease. Zoro felt like somehow they were being led into a trap. That for some reason the mysterious and manipulative woman in charge had double crossed them and the whole time just wanted to capture a few people who were getting a little too close to the truth. It would not surprise him if that were the case but he very much hoped that it was not. On the other hand from the impression he got the lady seemed like a genuine sociopath who just wanted to watch something interesting happen. She wanted to play a little game of "outsmart your government by exposing something fucking horrifying". His motives may not be great but Zoro felt glad she was doing it and hoped she got away with it. Unless it was that first thing and she was just acting, sometimes he had a hard time telling if people were lying to him.

Inside the building looked more like a storage unit than a hanger, box upon box was piled to the ceiling in all different shapes and sizes. It was like a movie set for a sinister government conspiracy, except it was real. It was large but dimensions were off so Zoro determined that half of the buildings must have been on the other side of that back wall, what it concealed he had no idea.

What was actually behind that wall were a series of prototypes like those that Franky worked on. They were round in shape and gave off a very science fiction feel to them.

Franky walked with purpose toward a large stairwell, which was again guarded by a slew of security agents. So much protection, they must have something big to hide. Of course they had something big, they were there to retrieve that big thing. Or at least retrieve someone from that big thing.

The stairs led down, down, down deep into the ground passing many different people on the way. The climb down was long but not long enough that his was horribly excessive. They got off on a landing but the stairs went on down who knows how many more flights. They came out into an area that looked more like a hospital than a military base. The floor and walls had a hospital like aesthetic and the air carried the antiseptic smell normally associated with hospitals.

It was difficult to maintain a neutral expression when faced by all of this overwhelming data to process but they remained cool. Franky walked over to a man who was behind a counter writing something important looking. They were in a small room with what looked like a reception deck across from a door what probably led to something really fucked up.

"Hello," Franky said formally, "I have a man with me who is looking to work with you here as a doctor. He has special permission to tour the place," he stated, he handed over a file and nodded to Chopper who tried his best to smile although he looked a bit nervous. This would be understandable for a young doctor about to tour a very secretive complex to further his career. The man at the desk glanced at the file then turned to the computer at his side and began clicking and typing.

"Ah," he said, "Yes, I'll call in one of the doctors for you, sir. What will the rest of you be doing?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at the collection of people.

"We are here to check the status of subjects 6990 and 8936," Franky replied. He and Luffy were going to subject 8936 to snoop around and pretend they were actually doing a job. Franky didn't know who that was, it was just who he had been assigned to. Franky actually had a very, very well hidden camera on him recording the events that took place. He had to stay carefully in front of everyone so as not to get them in view of the camera.

The two of them couldn't go to Sanji because that would make it too obvious that he was the one who got him out. Also, when people did come in to check patients they worked in groups of two. Usually when they did check up on these subjects they were checking to make sure that any monitoring implants were in working order. It was dull and unnerving most of the time. Franky had only been on one of those procedures and it had made his skin crawl. The idea of having something track you beneath your skin without your knowledge made him want to compulsively check over every inch of his body, although he knew there would be no scar tissue for evidence.

The technology used was astoundingly advanced and not on par with the standard medical set up. They had ways of making scars heal at advanced rates, leaving no trace behind, it was nearly unbelievable. The devices placed under that flawless skin would track them and feed information to the information center for storage but it would not show up in any typical scans, nor was it large enough to make patients uncomfortable.

At some point Franky remembered that Zoro had said something about his friend being able to feel his implants. That must have been in his head because there was no way. What probably happened was his subconscious remembered something being placed inside him and as a response he felt like something was under his skin; creepy.

Franky had no idea where this technology had come from or why not everyone used it but no one ever talked about it. There were a lot of strange technologies in this department that were unexplained but you weren't allowed to talk about it so you didn't. End of story. But this led Franky to believe there really were aliens. Not just ones invented by the government as a method of abducting and testing things in human beings. But what the fuck did he know? He was just a mechanic and apparently off job worker thinking about all the non-mechanical work he had done. Maybe he needed to look over some of his life choices.

Nami and Zoro were going to get Sanji, subject 6990. The large number associated with him made Zoro's hair stand on end, they couldn't possibly have taken that many people, could they? Maybe it was just some arbitrary number but the dread he was feeling said differently.

More typing and clicking, then they were being led down a series of labyrinth like hallways by a person who appeared to be a nurse. Chopper had been left in the little room waiting for a doctor to take him on the tour.

As they walked through the echoey halls they passed many odd rooms. Some rooms had patients who were babbling or screaming about something indistinguishable, some contained strange machinery, some were storage rooms that shelved interesting objects of inhuman quality, a wide array of fetuses included. Fetuses looked like horrible little aliens so they were pretty creepy to see sitting in jars of amber liquid. This was all very unnerving, it was like being lead through a psych ward except you knew that the people being held there were being held against their will and were probably totally sane, they might even have families. Like a horrible zoo where they tortured the animals.

The nurse finally lead them to a room with the numbers 6990 on a card in the identification slot on the heavy, closed door. The door was swiftly pushed open by the nurse and held for them. The room was plain in color like the rest of the building. The walls were lined by all sorts of strange and grotesque looking machines that drew thoughts of torture into the mind. In the center of the room was a metal dentist's chair with binds locked around the thin limbs of an unconscious Sanji.

There he was, after so much time and stress he was literally right there. It was incredibly hard to keep a neutral expression when all he wanted to do was run over and slap him awake. From where they stood he looked so still and pale that he could be dead and this only made Zoro want to storm over there all the more so he could put his fears to rest. Repressing any and all urges to rush to his side, Zoro turned expectantly to the nurse who was on task and dealing with shit like she should be.

"Here are his charts and information," she said, handing over a clip board to Nami, "Call for me when you need me, I'll be down the hall." With that she turned and left like she had something far better to do. She probably did, this place seemed pretty important. Not the type of place for dilly dally.

As soon as the nurse was gone the two friends approached the chair. Zoro got out the weird scanning device that apparently checked the implants just in case someone were to walk by and see them ogling at Sanji, and how could they not? He was wearing what appeared to be a teal hospital gown. His head was lolled to the right at an angle that looked uncomfortable, he was pale and gaunt looking. There was a tube in his nose and an IV in his arm. He had a fading bruises around his eyes and in the places where the binds met his skin there were raw patches of skin. Those were just the preliminary wounds, who knew what horrors lurked beneath the clothes. Maybe it was best that he was asleep. Yes, it was very lucking that he was asleep. If he had been awake there was no telling how he could have reacted to seeing them. If he was in his usual state of mind he probably would have gone on acting how he usually did here to deter suspicion but if he had totally lost it, which didn't seem as unlikely as it should, there was no way to know. That was one of Zoro's biggest worries; that they would get him back and he would be totally destroyed from the inside. They would get him out but he would never really be out in a mental sense.

Nami said nothing but flicked through the chart she had been handed. There was a lot of medical babble on it that she didn't really get but a chart of the front and back of a human figure on it circled the back of his neck, his right cheek, the area just below his ribs, and the back is his skull. The caption above it read "Tracking Info". Sanji had said that he thought there were more in his body than he knew of.

The next page listed in detail his reactions to various tests, most importantly those detailing reactions to some form of foreign pathogen that had been introduced to his body. He had apparently reacted well to the substance and had survived with very few side effects. The chart also said that he was a participant in project Honeycomb, whatever that was.

Just as Zoro thought he might die from all the tension an alarm sounded, just on time. Within seconds the nurse from before rushed through the doors, shoved Zoro out of the way and began unplugging Sanji from any attachments. As soon as he was free she instructed Zoro to carry him out while she ran off to deal with other patients. The information they contained was vital and losing them would be massively disappointing. Everyone had to get out and they had to preserve the merchandise or all of their effortless work would be for nothing.

Nami lead the way out after shoving Sanji's charts up her shirt, it was made easy by the layers of clothes she was wearing. At least they were good for something other than making her overheat. All around them doctors and nurses pushed through the crowd toward the elevators, which appeared to be for only privileged individuals, to bring up patients while the others rushed for the stairs. Nami and Zoro took the stairs, Sanji jostling in his arms as he ran. He had to be on some kind of depressant at the moment because there was no way that anyone could sleep through all of this, not even Zoro.

It was impossible to believe that all of this was really happening, both the fact that they were breaking into a government facility and that Sanji as actually there in his arms at that moment. He wanted to stop and appreciate this moment for all its worth, to hold Sanji very close and savor the feeling of him just being there. But now was not the time for that, it was time to stay focused and on task. They climbed higher and higher toward the surface and their escape. They were so close to a way out he could nearly taste it.

Outside there was chaos, people were trying to direct and organize but the majority were afraid. Zoro wasn't sure what sort of alarm had gone off but apparently it was super serious. They were all crowed around in the parking lot so this chaos gave the excellent opportunity to sneak off to the car and stuff Sanji's unconscious body into the space underneath the floor that had been so carefully hidden for this purpose.

They waited for the others to return. Chopper came back looking pale and haunted. He had actually gone through a partial tour of doctoral duties. He had been taken back to their lab where they had an astounding amount of human eggs, semen, and equipment to make more humans. He had gone past one of the rooms where a patient was being taken care of and by that it meant they were being cut open and poked around at. Chopper was incredibly grateful that he didn't have to go in there, just glancing it was enough. As a doctor in the training to help people it went against every fiber of his being and training to harm people instead of help them. Before they could go in the alarm went off and they all had to run out. He could not condone this kind of behavior no matter what they were doing. It was a blessing that it had ended so suddenly, he would be having nightmares about this for sure.

Franky and Luffy came back with varying degrees of exhilaration on their faces. Luffy looked like he had never felt so happy in his entire life and Franky just looked extremely relieved. They had done all the poking around that they needed for a successful mission.

They all piled into the vehicle and set off for the gate. It took a while to get back through, what with all the chaos inside but they passed inspection and were on their way. The small compartment that stored Sanji was very well hidden and combined with the rush to get people through it was overlooked. Oopsies.

Once the vehicle and its people were a few miles from the base they pulled Sanji up from under the floor. He was still unconscious and Chopper checked his vitals nervously. He appeared to be fine at face value but there was not a good way to tell until he woke up, at least not mentally.

After seeing what he had with the other patient Chopper nervously took off his shirt of his gown, for he was fortunate enough to be wearing a gown with a shirt and with pants, holding his breath. As the shirt came off the angry lines of stitched skin became apparent. In the center of his chest there was a Y shaped cut, like the sort they do for autopsies. It's stitches ran from the tops of his shoulders, coming together in the center of his chest and coming down to his naval, making a curve to avoid his belly button.

Everyone was struck by a sickening feeling because they all knew how he must have received that scar, a few gasps escaped some of their mouths. Whatever was going on back there Franky was driving he was driving and he couldn't see it. The stitches appeared to be only temporary, seeing as they were opening and closing him up a lot but they were secure enough that Chopper would not have to open them up and restitch them. Instead he just wrapped bandages around his torso while Nami held him up. He also disinfected his other wounds and wrapped them as well.

Once Sanji had been set down on one of the chairs, still asleep, everyone began to talk.

"Should you take out the implants?" asked Zoro hesitantly.

"No," Franky answered from the front.

"Why not?" asked Nami.

"I don't know but I was told not to let you take them out."

"But won't they be tracking him?" Chopper squeaked.

"Yeah, but I have a signal disrupter here so they can't tell where he is right now. Which reminds me. You need to put this inside him." He tossed back a small white tube, which Chopper carefully caught.

"What is it?" He asked.

"It's a chip like they use to keep tabs on people except it will disrupt the signal. It will probably still send back some information but it should make him really hard to track down," Franky explained, but he hardly knew what he was talking about. He merely regurgitated what he was told to say.

"Where do I put it?" Chopper asked as he took the tiny chip into his hand.

"I don't know, she said anywhere would work," Franky shrugged.

Chopper thought for a moment about where he should place it then he got out the medical equipment to cut a little hole in him. The spot he chose was the spot of another implant, one that he had tried to cut out. Chopper carefully made an incision over the scar tissue over the spot under Sanji's right ribs.

It was pretty gross that he had to do it with everyone else around but it was as sterile as he could make it. Sanji's only reaction was a pained expression; they didn't have any pain killers. The fact that he didn't wake up was concerning but he seemed to be fine so there wasn't much to do about it.

They all looked over at Sanji as he continued to be asleep, breathing steadily and deeply.

"What do you think they did?" wondered Nami.

Chopper shook his head, "I don't think I want to know."

"They have to pay for this," Luffy growled.

"We can't make them pay, idiot, we would have to make the whole United States government pay and there's no way that possible. They've done way worse and gotten away with it," Nami said remorsefully. Doing secret testing on unwilling citizens was pretty bad but the United States had a history of doing some pretty shitty things. Then again nearly every nation does.

"This is so fucked up," Zoro mumbled, "Why are they even doing this?" He hoped that Franky could answer that for him.

"I don't know," was Franky's response, "I just do my job and don't ask questions. Only the higher ups know."

"Does your commander know?" asked Nami.

"Maybe but if she did I doubt she'd tell you." She liked keeping secrets too much to share.

"They had a bunch of materials to make a lot of babies with," Chopper offered, although he didn't know what it really meant.

"Are they trying to repopulate some obscure corner of space or something so that they can invade earth later and make the creators the masters of the human race?" Thought Zoro aloud.

"Maybe they're trying to make a clone army," said Luffy.

"Then why would they need so many baby making supplies?" retorted Nami.

"Because it only works for certain people?" He shrugged.

They then started arguing about the various plots that this agency could be working toward. Zoro thought they had never before been in such a strange situation.

An hour and a half later Nami, Chopper, and Luffy were all asleep. Zoro, for once was the only one who could not find sleep which was very sad for him. Sanji's head rested non-responsively against his leg and he could not find himself completely relaxed even though they had rescued him.

What would happen now? What would they do about Sanji mysteriously appearing again after they knew where he had been? Why the hell had he though he had been abducted by aliens when it was really the government? What mental issues would he have coming back? These questions ran in cycles through his head as Sanji began to stir.

He groaned slightly and his eyes fluttered open, locking blearily on Zoro's face without any recognition. He tried to say something but his voice only came out in an unintelligible whisper.

"Are you alright?" Zoro asked hurriedly in a hushed tone. He wasn't sure what emotion he was experiencing but it made him want to explode into flames, or run around like a five year old, or kiss Sanji until he couldn't breathe anymore. He did none of those things of course, he just anxiously waited of a response.

Sanji's expression turned from deep confusion to alarm, "Zoro?" He rasped painfully.

Zoro nodded seriously, he was feeling suddenly overwhelmed with relief. Relief was better than whatever he had been feeling before. It was familiar. For a while he was worried that he would never wake up or if he woke up he would have amnesia or something stupid like that. It was however, slightly worrying when Sanji's alarm apparently grew.

He let out a little whine of dismay and lifted a hand to Zoro's dyed black hair. "Holy fuck, your hair," he said sounding very upset.

Zoro was confused for a moment, not remembering that his hair color had been temporarily changed, "What about it?" He asked.

"It's not right, you don't even look like you. It's weird and I don't like it." He said, his face pinched in unhappiness as he ran his hand through Zoro's unnaturally colored hair.

"You were just rescued from a government facility when you were being tested on like an animal and the first thing you feel the need to talk about is my hair?" He laughed in exasperation.

"Shut up, don't tell me what to freak out over. This is a totally justified reaction. Don't make me feel bad for over reacting," Sanji said in a slurred, in a lazy way. His eyes started to roll back like he was going to fall asleep again but Zoro shook him to attention, mindful of his injuries.

"Hey, come on, cook, you have to stay awake so Chopper can make sure that you're okay," Zoro protested.

"Then why haven't you made him do that yet?" asked Sanji with a shake of his head. He wanted to grab the marimo and squeeze the life out of him but right now he had hardly the energy to keep his eyes open. It was too out if it to feel much emotionally, only muddled feelings that threatened to overwhelm him with their heaviness.

Zoro blinked in shock. Oh, he should probably have done that. He turned toward the sleeping doctor in training and shook him awake. The doctor was glad to see Sanji awake even though he was in a half asleep daze.

He did only a few tests to make sure nothing was seriously wrong with his senses. He told Zoro not to wake the others up because what Sanji needed was rest, not the stress of an excited Luffy or the stress of appearing brave of Nami, because even at a time like this that is what Sanji would be worried about.

Everything seemed to be in order so Chopper instructed him to sleep and things would be taken care if. That was done with absolutely no protest, Sanji was nearly asleep as the whole thing was taking place and he slipped back into the world of dreams as soon as Chopper allowed him to, his head still resting once again against Zoro's leg.

Not long after the blond had drifted off to sleep a stop was made on a desolate road in the middle of a large array of farm land. Franky's commanding officer was already waiting in her car for them. As soon as the car stopped Zoro tried to shake Sanji awake but he only stirred and remained sleeping so he was forced to carry him out. He opened the door and stepped into the warm summer air. Fireflies lit up the land in small bursts and the bugs called in a deafening chorus.

The others in the car were roused from sleep as he left but did not follow as Zoro carried Sanji out of the car. As he approached the car she rolled down the window.

"Put him in the back," she said without inflection, revealing nothing. The windows were all tinted and he could not see anything of her appearance. All part of the plan Zoro assured himself although he still did not trust this woman, she was a snake and had only her own interest in mind, of that he was positive.

Zoro did as he was told, setting Sanji gingerly in the back of the car and shutting him inside. Before he left he turned to her, "You better take car if him," Zoro said with the most menacing voice he could muster, although he doubted that it fazed her in the slightest. She gave him no verbal response as he turned and left although he could nearly feel her smile on him like some kind of lingering dread. The car pulled away and Zoro felt the nervous feeling come back to him on full blast. Leaving Sanji with her made everyone anxious but it was necessary all the same.

The lot with the cars was not far away. Usopp was ecstatic they had all made it back safely. He had been nervously watching the security feed from Wright-Patterson. When he saw that they were all in position he told Robin that it was time to set off the alarm. At the same time all of that data recorded for the whole day had been deleted. Usopp wasn't sure how she pulled it off but it was incredible. He was so, so glad that everything had gone over smoothly.

They did not linger in the lot, as soon as they got there they parted ways, exhausted and anxious for Sanji to be fully returned to them.

Nami and Zoro drove home in silence, they were both tired and had no words for what had happened. When Zoro was finally inside his apartment, at around two AM keeping his face well out of view from any cameras, he wanted to collapse into bed and never wake up again but he knew that he had to get all of the stuff off of him. He took a shower and scrubbed the ever loving shit out of his hair until it returned to it's usual vibrant green, if a bit dulled. He removed every trace of make up from his face and he was glad to be himself again. Before he went to sleep he wrote down everything that had happened on the piece of paper in his shoe. Every time he did it he felt like a crazy person. When he finally did fall into bed his sleep was restless and he found no comfort in it.

XxxX

A/N: Geez, I made Franky so sullen. He's not happy with life right now. Sorry, dude.

Conspiracy theories are fun though. It's been so long since I wrote this story that I've actually forgotten a huge majority of the plot XD

Thanks.


	15. Days

Hold my breath, hear me out in this forest  
Creatures watch as I step on their treasures  
Gleaming eyes in the dark, chasing stories  
Beg the earth, pay the price for redemption

-"Days" Lucia

XxxX

The temperature was cool but a warm breeze drifted by every now and then to provide comfort. The ground was soft and fertile, the corn was nearly at waist level. The crops was doing substantially better than "knee high by July" although it was not early July so maybe that was why. Birds chirped cheerfully as they flitted by overhead, somewhere off in the distance a loon called, low and mournful. Loons were such beautiful birds; black heads, red eyes, lovely black and white designs on their duck like body. Perhaps more beautiful was the low mournful wail they made. It was creepy and if you listened to it for long enough you felt like your soul was being sucked down into some sort of swirling pit of darkness. It was quite charming in a dark and sinister sort of way.

Sanji's eyes very slowly opened to all of these things and he was very confused. He sat up quickly to survey his surroundings, too quickly in fact, and he clenched his chest in pain as his vision swam. As the world became one again he became aware that he was on the edge of a cornfield. The sky was clear and a crow jumped through the corn, startling him. He felt pain all over with addition of feeling grossly damp from the morning dew.

He wasn't sure how he had turned up there. He was surprised to find that this was an experience unlike those where he had turned up in the middle of the woods before. He actually remembered what had happened this time, he remembered the tests and he remembered the doctors. He only vaguely remembered getting out and from that he only remembered seeing Zoro's upsettingly dyed hair.

But did it really happen? It was impossible to tell while he was just laying there. He felt like he was really there and everything had really happened but he had dreamed a thousand times that he was out and a thousand times he had woken up back in that cold metal chair. He shuddered just thinking of it, a panic creeping up over his spine. Best not to think about it. He lay there for a while longer, trying to decide if he was dreaming. It felt too real to be a dream, he decided but he dared not let himself hope.

He stood slowly, swaying with the effort. His body ached in protest, the skin on his chest was taunt and screaming, but he couldn't just lay there forever, he had to find a way home. He looked around for some sort of distinguishing feature. On his left a distance away he could see a road with no cars. As he turned he was dismayed to find that the only house, a small white farm house, was quite a distance from where he stood. Preparing himself for a long walk, Sanji set out toward the small home.

It took him a good forty minutes to reach the place. This was greatly due to the fact that the stitches in his chest were pulling painfully at his skin, threatening to pull him apart. Each step was a jolt of agony but it was nothing compared to the pain he had experienced when the cut was made. Quick and deep the cuts had been made, he had passed out but found no comfort in the spiraling darkness.

A large dog started barking as he approached the driveway and before he was even at the door it had opened for a short motherly looking woman who appeared on the porch. She seemed confused at the sudden appearance of this strange man in hospital clothes staggering up her driveway and Sanji granted that it was probably for good reason.

"Hello," Sanji said in as gentlemanly a manner as he could manage, "Could I use a phone, if it wouldn't be much trouble?" His voice was horse from lack of use, or maybe it was from the screaming, he didn't know.

The woman ushered him inside and showed him to a landline hurriedly. Something about him made her nervous. He couldn't blame her for that, he probably looked pretty suspicious. Sanji picked up the phone and paused. Who should he call? He could call Zeff and let him know that he was okay or he could call Zoro because he remembered seeing him the night before and he wasn't really sure what the story was with that.

"Where is this?" Sanji asked the woman, "I mean, where are we exactly?" he clarified.

"About an forty five minutes outside Sandusky," she replied, watching him suspiciously.

In that case he was closer to Zoro and he wasn't sure exactly he was supposed to proceed with his escape so he decided to call Zoro. The problem with that was he wasn't one hundred percent sure that he knew his number off the top of his head. Despite this he dialed in a number and hoped for the best.

XxxX

Zoro's phone was ringing. He jolted awake and checked the caller ID, an unknown number.

"Hello?" He said breathlessly. Please, please, please let it be Sanji and not someone threatening his life.

"Zoro?" Came the voice on the other end. It was scratchy but familiar.

"Yeah, sorry. Who is this?" he asked just to be completely positive. He couldn't allow for there to be any mistakes.

"It's Sanji, you jerk. Have I been gone so long that you've forgotten the sound of my voice?" he said sounding annoyed. Annoyed was better than missing.

"I was just making sure, you've been gone for almost a month. Where are you?" He was ecstatic that their contact had come through for them. When he had seen her drive away with Sanji in the back seat he felt like she was just going to take him away to somewhere equally horrible as the place he had just been rescued from.

Sanji gave him an address of the place he had appeared in, which he immediately plugged into his GPS.

"I'll be there as soon as possible, don't go anywhere," Zoro said, he heart aching slightly to be there with him.

"It's not like I was planning on it," Sanji scoffed, "Oh, and can you bring me some clothes, I'm in a hospital gown right now. Thank god I have pants. Also I need shoes."

He laughed, "Yeah, sure thing. See you soon," Zoro promised.

"Wait-" Zoro hung up before he could finish his thought. He worried that he might have cut off something important but it was too late now. As Zoro rushed off to his car elsewhere Sanji hung the phone back on the wall and turned to the farmer lady.

"My friend will pick me up in about forty five minutes," he explained.

The woman did not look impressed and made him go collect eggs from about seventy chickens. Despite the pain of moving he went about this task like it was nothing. This lady was helping him out, it would be rude to refuse her requests.

As he pushed open the gate carefully and stepped inside the chicken coop with a pair of boots he had been lent. Before he had been barefoot. On grass on the side of the road it wasn't so bad but he'd had to watch for broken glass.

Inside the cage the chickens clucked nervously around his feet. It was not difficult work but Sanji moved slowly and it took him some time. He pushed aside hens as they made soft clucking sounds at him and took the warm eggs from under them. What did they care? There wasn't a rooster in there, he was in another cage, which is good because roosters suck. When he got back inside he made the woman breakfast for lunch with her permission and the eggs he had collected. She seemed to like him a lot better after that. He spent the remainder of his time sitting on the porch with an old blue hound and a fluffy gray cat.

Ah, blue hounds, they made him think about Where The Red Fern Grows. That had been the only dog book he had actually liked. Usually he hated dog books because they ended up depressing and they were annoying with all their bonding moments. For some reason that book had been different and for whatever reason he had enjoyed it.

Zoro's was the only car Sanji saw on the road as he waited and his heart leaped when he saw it turn up the road. It was parked in the driveway and Zoro exited quickly, his eyes searching for Sanji. When they found him walking toward him he walked forward to meet him. He felt a vast amount of joy upon seeing the blond but kept his emotions in check while the farmer stood watching them. At least he tried. What actually happened was he ran up to Sanji and tried to squish him with his arms.

Sanji did not appear to protest at this sudden and uncharacteristic display of affection but he let out a groan of pain because he felt like he was going to split open and his guts would fall out. Zoro realized the problem immediately and stopped his squeezing, took a step back, and awkwardly cleared his throat.

"I, uh, brought some clothes," he said holding out a bag for Sanji to take.

Sanji was only just holding in his laughter. "Yeah, thanks, I think I'll go change now," he said, turning to go into the house.

After a few uncomfortable minutes of being stared at by the old woman Sanji returned in Zoro's clothes. The shirt was a little too big and the pants a little too short, but neither of these were as bad as the shoes where didn't fit at all. Sanji couldn't help that he had such petite little feet.

Before they left Sanji turned to thank the farmer very much for letting him stay there and she thanked him for the good meal, the stay was mutually beneficial. Then he followed Zoro back to the car. No words were said until they left that little country road.

"What happened?" Sanji asked, his eyes glued to the swordsman's face like he was re-memorizing it.

"You don't remember?"

"I remember what happened, but not how I got out," Sanji explained.

"I shouldn't tell you the details but we had a friend in high places pull some strings for us. We can't talk about any of this later, unless we're absolutely positive that there are no surveillance objects present. When you show up they'll be watching," Zoro promised darkly.

Sanji nodded in understanding, "What should I do when you bring me back? It's not like I can just explain all of this to the police, who I'm assuming you called at some point."

"Yep, and they did fuck all so I took matters into my own hands. I'll call the police department when we get into the city. You'll probably have to talk with some people, whatever you did last time most likely."

Sanji wrinkled his nose, he didn't want to deal with all that bullshit again.

"So, what did they do to you?"

"Oh, you know, this and that. It's not like they explained things to me, they mostly just did whatever they felt like whether I was sedated or not." He shivered slightly. He really did not want to talk about that. Everything they did was traumatizing. He wanted to section off a part of his brain so he could forget the feeling of those cold medical instruments cutting or pulling back his skin to poke around at his insides to see how he was holding up.

They had injected him with something that they were afraid to touch. It moved sluggishly through his veins like slime bringing throbbing pain as it moved. He spent days in agony as whatever they put in his body did it's job, whatever that my have been. After an indeterminable amount of crazed fever and screaming in pain the substance had gone and he was still there; sickly and weak. That's when they started to examine him. To see what the damage was. They appeared to be pleased with the results although Sanji could hardly stay lucid enough to tell what was going on.

In the present he was clenching at his arms very tightly and holding them against his body.

Zoro sent him a worried look.

"Don't look so concerned, marimo, it's throwing me off," Sanji laughed off this little episode of terror, "at least your hair is normal again though, or did I just imagine that part? Because it's entirely possible that I imagined it."

"That was real. You seemed really upset about it too," Zoro chuckled.

"I was. It made me want to cry, don't ever dye your hair again, I don't like it." It was probably mostly his brain's attempt to distract him from the magnitude of everything that had happened.

"You're such a weirdo," Zoro said with a widening smile.

Sanji rolled his eyes. "Hey, it's probably because I was abducted by the government and hypnotized into thinking I was abducted by aliens."

"Is that really what they did?" He had been wondering about that.

"I think so. I saw this guy get hypnotized once and by the end he was convinced that he had been abducted even though he was still in the building."

"That's fucking horrible."

"It makes us look crazy and if they think we're crazy then no one will listen," Sanji said sadly, "You have no idea how shitty that feels."

It was sad and true. The damned and disheartened would walk through their lives afraid to share the experience because it was so fantastically ridiculous that there was no way it was possible. And it was in fact still impossible but the existing of these thoughts led to a greater problem.

"I'm sorry," Zoro said quietly. What else could he say?

"Don't be, it's not your fault. So what are we going to do when we get back?"

"Pretend we know nothing and wait until we are no longer being monitored to move on with our lives.

"Sounds tedious."

"It will be but unfortunate there aren't many other options."

"We could always move somewhere far away, like Canada," Sanji offered. He liked Canada and he wouldn't mind living there.

"That isn't really that far away."

"Yeah, but I'm sure that in Canada they don't abduct and torture their citizens," Sanji argued.

"Fair enough."

They talked carelessly as they drove on into the city and stopped into the police department. The people investigating Sanji's case were stunned to see him.

He was put into a room with a few detectives and told to recount his story. He told nearly the same one he had told the last time he had been taken away. The detectives were shocked at the lack of information and recommended he see a shrink, which he refused to do. They also took photos of his injuries, they tried to have him get a full physical but he outright refused. Of course he really needed to go to a doctor because he was in a sufficient amount of pain and he needed a doctor to look at him so he could get heavier pain killers so the fight began.

"Sanji, listen to me," Zoro started, trying to get the blond to look at him.

The blond was tightly gripping the corner of a wall after Zoro had tried to drag him toward the doctor. They were still in the police station but a doctor had been called in so that Sanji didn't have to go into a hospital.

"I'm not going in," he said in determination, "I don't need the pain killers, I'm fine."

"No, you aren't. You have to go in there so you can get the proper treatment," Zoro growled as he tried to pry Sanji's fingers off the wall, it was much harder than it sounded.

"No!" Sanji's chest felt like it was about to tear open but he really didn't want to see another doctor ever again.

"Come on, cook, the sooner you give in the sooner we get out of here." And Zoro really wanted to get out, the officers looked uncomfortable as they watched the struggle. They wanted to help but every time they got close Sanji started screaming.

Sanji just clenched his eyes shut tighter and held on with all if his might.

"Alright, that's it." Zoro yanked his arms away from the wall with enough force to dislodge them and scooped Sanji up while he struggled. He somehow managed to carry the blond into the room where the doctor was waiting and the door was locked behind them by some friendly officers.

Once they were locked in Sanji's demeanor changed from resistance to holding onto Zoro so tightly that Zoro felt like his arm was losing blood flow.

The doctor looked understandably alarmed but he kept relatively calm. "Can you get his shirt off?" the doctor asked over Sanji's attempts to flee.

Zoro nodded and set Sanji down in a chair, carefully removing the grip on his arm. He took a deep breath and looked down at the chef critically. His eyes were wide with terror which was weird because last time he had seen a doctor he hadn't freaked out this badly and he was actually inside a hospital.

Zoro placed his hands on Sanji's shoulders and shook him once before speaking, "Hey, I need you to not freak out for like a few minutes, okay?"

Sanji looked up at him with distant and terrified eyes. "I can't do that," he said confidently.

Zoro sighed, "Just do the best you can. I know this must be hard."

Sanji swallowed hard and nodded, taking a shaky breath.

Zoro was grateful that he was sane enough to comply to that. His mania had subsided into rigid terror. Taking advantage of this Zoro pulled Sanji's shirt over his head and started to unwrap the bandages around his torso. The doctor stood on the other side of the room, trying to stay out of Sanji's line of sight.

Once the gruesome wound was revealed under the layer of gauze Chopper had placed the doctor stepped forward as Sanji shrank back against the chair. He tried to get up as he got nearer but Zoro stood behind the chair and planted his hands firmly on his shoulders.

The doctor began taking photos of the stitches for stock but soon moved on to the examination portion of this painful process. Zoro had to keep Sanji in the chair by looping his arms under his shoulders. He knelt behind the chair and talked nonsense into Sanji's ear to try distracting him from the doctor's prodding. It helped only marginally. All Sanji could think about was being opened up on the cold chair and having hands rifle through his guts, searching for something but he didn't know what. Ugh, he's head suddenly felt like it was going to explode. Blood trickled down his nose. There wasn't much blood, he was given a tissue and the bleeding soon stopped.

In truth, while he had been... Away his had stopped getting quite so many headaches and he had no nosebleeds. However, from the moment he had woken up in that field had head had been steadily throbbing with pain. There was probably a reason for that but he could not guess what it was with certainty.

The wounds appeared clean so it did not last long. As soon as the doctor wrote a prescription and walked out of the room Sanji collapsed back into the chair in exhaustion.

"Can we go now?" he asked.

Zoro nodded. "I think so."

With nothing else to go on Sanji was let go.

Zoro gave Sanji his phone to call Zeff as they exited the police station. Sanji gratefully took the phone and dialed the number. Zeff picked up immediately.

"What do you want, boy?" He barked through the receiver. Sanji smiled slightly, it was comforting that things remained the same while he was gone.

"Hey, old man, I just wanted to let you know I'm not dead or anything," Sanji said with a coy smile.

"Sanji?" Zeff asked in surprise

"Yep, I'm fine."

"Was it the same as last time?" He asked, thinking back to Sanji's horrible panic upon being found in the woods.

Sanji hesitated, "Not exactly, but I wouldn't say I'm better off now than I was then."

"So what are you going to do now?"

That was a good question, what was he going to do? He turned to Zoro, who was intently watching him.

"Hey, should I stay here or leave until we know things are okay?" Sanji asked, covering the speaker with his thumb.

"Stay for now," Zoro replied.

"I'm going to stay up here for a few days," Sanji said to the phone, "I'm not sure what after that. How's everything going? Could you ever manage without me?"

"I shaved my head but other than that fine. You better get back here soon. You haven't showed up to work in a month so don't expect any special treatment."

"Yeah, yeah, talk to you later, you old goat."

"Stay safe, little eggplant."

Sanji felt the tiniest spark of warmth at that, it nearly overcame the slight sadness that Zeff had shaved his head down again.

He handed the phone back to Zoro and crossed his arms, "Where to now?" he asked.

"Back to my place for now. Nami's sleeping, Luffy and Usopp are at work, and Brook is probably doing something important. We'll go to the bar tonight to see them."

Sanji nodded and followed Zoro to the car.

"So why aren't you at work then?" Sanji asked.

"Because you called me and I didn't show up. They know what that means."

"Right."

XxxX

Sanji was relieved when they showed up at Zoro's apartment, he didn't want to be around strangers presently. They had stopped by the drug store to pick up painkillers but he hated taking medicine so he hadn't taken any yet. Immediately he was in the kitchen looking through the food. He wanted to cook so cooking he would do, it was past lunchtime anyway and he doubted that Zoro had eaten anything. He hadn't eaten anything when he made foot for that farmer. He had felt to sick to eat anything. As he awkwardly flitted around carful of his wounds. Zoro sat up on one of the counters out of the way. It irked Sanji greatly.

"Don't sit on the god damn counter, you asshole!" Sanji said gritting his teeth.

"It's my kitchen, I can do whatever I want," he said childishly.

"But I'm the one using it so don't piss me off or I'll poison you or something."

"No you won't, you owe me for all the shit I got you out of."

Sanji groaned, "Right, I forgot. Now my soul basically belongs to you, right? I'm pretty sure that's how it works, but correct me if I'm wrong."

"That is correct, so now you have to let do whatever I want."

"You sound like a four year old, I hope you know that."

"And you have to put up with it without complaint."

"Oh, that changes things. Being your eternal servant I could tolerate but not complaining about it is a whole new level if torture. I'll pretty much explode with all my pent up rage!" he said, kicking a cabinet mildly for effect. He glared at it with malice and when he looked up again Zoro was giving him a strange look.

"What?" Sanji asked defensively.

"Nothing," Zoro said although it didn't look like nothing.

"Just fucking tell me, moss head. I promise I won't laugh," he assured although he had no intention of keeping that assurance if whatever he said was really fucking dumb.

"Nothing," Zoro said again, "I just realized how much I missed you," he said embarrassedly.

"My heart is quite literally melting right now, marimo. I can feel it." Sanji said in monotone, clenching a hand over his chest.

"Shut up! Don't mock me, asshole," Zoro huffed, sliding off the counter top.

Sanji's face twitched into a smile, "Aw, don't go," he whined, "That was really sweet."

"Fuck off," Zoro said clenching his fists.

Sanji stopped him with a hand on the shoulder and prompted him to turn around with a slight nudge. He stepped quickly into his space and pressed their lips together. Zoro was slightly reluctant at first but his lingering irritation dissipated at the prompting of Sanji's tongue.

Sanji broke away with a little hum and set their plates on the table, a cheeky little smile on his face.

"So does this mean were like an official Thing?" Sanji asked as he took a bite of his food.

"Are you asking to be my boyfriend?" Zoro asked. The word felt foreign on his tongue.

Sanji made a face, "Boyfriend makes it sound weird. I'm just saying that we should be in a relationship."

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Yes, but minus that icky word."

"Does this mean we have to like come out to all our friends or whatever?"

"Does this mean you're saying yes?"

"I guess so," Zoro shrugged.

Sanji wrinkled his nose. "That's not the kind of reaction I wanted. You don't have to sound so resigned to it. If you hate the idea that much then just say no."

"If I hated the idea I would have told you I hated the idea and we wouldn't still be talking about it."

"Okay, good. In that case I say that if the topic comes up then we tell people, if not then we don't. It would be weird if we just suddenly announced it."

"Agreed. Any other things have have to settle on this topic, lover?"

Sanji nearly choked on his food, "Ugh, that's even more icky than boyfriend."

"Fuck you. You're the one asking me to become your sexual partner and in the same conversation using the word 'icky' like some weird little kid."

"I didn't ask you to become my sexual partner, I implied that we should begin a formal romantic relationship because our making out was getting in the way of the friendship thing we had going on."

"Then what should I say if someone asks about my relationship status?"

"Say, hands off or my boyfriend will be highly upset and, depending on how much of an asshole you are, kick your ass."

"That's kind of a mouth full."

"I was just going to finish with kick your ass but then I realized you had a pretty face and I would have to kick a lot of asses."

"You also went with boyfriend." Zoro felt indignant about the fact that his face was just called pretty but a man who was so effeminate looking it was ridiculous. Okay, he wasn't that effeminate but it was pretty bad.

"It sounds less creepy than significant other, life partner, or lover."

"Boyfriends it is then."

"Yeah, but can you not say it unless you have to because it still sound fucking stupid."

"Whatever, I don't give a shit."

Sanji rolled his eyes, shifting in pain caused by the tension of his stitches.

"Are you okay?" Zoro asked in concern, watching Sanji squirm. "I feel like you should probably take some painkillers."

"But I hate taking medicine," Sanji whined.

"Okay, but in a scale form one to ten how much pain are you in?"

"Like a seven and a half," Sanji grumbled. It was very, very painful just sitting there.

"Yeah, you're gonna have to take this." Zoro tossed him the little thing of pills.

Sanji took the recommended dose, grimacing as the pill slid down his throat. "Blah," he said, "Well, I guess on the plus side I get an even crazier scar than yours," Sanji smirked, looking at Zoro's chest like he could see through it to the scar below.

"Is that really a good thing?"

"Yeah, chicks dig scars, at least I think they do." Sanji cocked his head to the side, considering this.

"Too bad you have a boyfriend," Zoro pointed out.

Sanji hummed in agreement before laughing, "Just imagine when I'm all healed up and we go to the beach together. Well look so bad ass together." It was a funnier idea in his head than it probably would be in real life.

"Yeah, you with a big 'Y' on your chest and me with my awkward forward slash."

"You make it sound so lame."

"You really want people to constantly ask you where your scar came from?"

"I actually want the opposite of that," Sanji sighed, "Maybe I'll just wear a shirt swimming for the rest if my life."

"Whatever makes you happy, you'll have a great farmers tan by the end if the summer."

"Shut up, marimo."

They spent the rest of the day just fucking around until it was time to go to the bar. Sanji was excited to see everyone. It felt like it had been so long and in reality it had been a fairly long time.

When he and Zoro walked in they saw Usopp and Luffy already sitting at a table. Vivi was standing at the bar poring various drinks. When they saw Sanji everyone jumped up and rushed over. Luffy nearly jumped on him, sending a jolt of pain through his body. Usopp pulled Luffy back with a cry of alarm then gave Sanji a friendly clap on the shoulder for comfort. Luffy then rushed off to get Nami. Nami was dragged out but as soon as she saw Sanji a look of relief crossed her face. She pulled Sanji into a hug that turned his body to jelly. Zoro rolled his eyes at the display. Everyone wanted to know if he was okay and what he was going to do now that he was back.

"I'm fine," Sanji assured, "I think I'll just stay around here until things settle down," he said meaningfully.

"Where are you going to stay?" Asked Nami.

"With this chuckle head," Sanji said, poking Zoro in the cheek.

Nami raised an eyebrow but said nothing further on the topic. "Are you going to get a job again? I could rehire you so you can get out and around people." The underlying idea was that if he was around people no one could take him away.

"You don't have to do that," Sanji shook his head, "You have a lovely bartender now. I'll just get a job in a restaurant or something."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, it will keep me busy during the day." And at night Zoro would be there so he wouldn't be alone.

They talked some more but everyone left fairly early. When Zoro and Sanji got home Sanji felt dead on his feet. They had stopped at CVS on their way home and picked up a toothbrush for him but tomorrow he would go get his things from the Baratie.

It was decided that because they were now together anyone sleeping on the couch was out of the question and stupid. Zoro fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, Sanji was not so lucky. His brain was relentlessly swirling to areas he didn't want to think about. Around and around and around. The mundane mumbling of his inner monologue keeping him wide awake.

When he finally did fall restlessly asleep his dreams were dark and sinister. He woke twice during the night and when morning came it felt like he had hardly slept at all.

He sluggishly prepared breakfast and the two of them began the drive to Sanji's home. In the car Sanji watched the world go by in silence.

"Are you alright?" Zoro asked.

"I'm fine," Sanji said quietly although he wasn't really sure that he was. He didn't feel fine, he didn't feel bad exactly he just felt weird. A little out of body. He tried not to think about the things that had happened, the things that must have happened before that he couldn't remember. Thinking about it made his stomach churn and made him want to curl up into a ball. And they couldn't even talk about it anymore because they had no way of knowing whether or not they were being monitored.

They arrived at the Baratie with good timing and walked with purpose through those doors. The decided to go in the back so as not to disrupt business. As soon as Sanji was spotted he was overwhelmed by the various chefs squeezing him to death, which left him squirming in pain. Some of them had been there when he disappeared the first time and were very glad to see that he looked to be in better shape than that time.

Drawn out by the commotion Zeff stepped out of his office. His long chef's had covering his bald head. Zoro didn't like to see Zeff bald, it made him want to shout "BALD BALD BALD" like in the Spongebob movie, which he had only watched once because it was the only thing on tv, dammit. It wasn't even like he looked that different, only a little different. If only there were a more efficient way to get rid of cancer.

Anyway, Zeff walked out and observed the ruckus with a stoic gaze.

"I thought you were staying up there," he said, his eyes moving to Zoro briefly.

"I'm just here to get my stuff," Sanji explained.

"What, you moving in with your boyfriend now?" Patty asked, mockingly jabbing the blonde in the side.

Sanji set his jaw in a display of irritation. "Yeah, I am, so if you'll excuse us," Sanji said grabbing Zoro's hand, "we have some packing to do." He strode with purpose toward the stairs, ignoring the childish "Oooooo"s and cat calls.

They quickly ascended the stairs and entered Sanji's room, which looked like it hadn't been stepped in since he had been abducted.

"I just fucking kicked down the closet door," Sanji said happily as he started to pack away his clothes. He was speaking of the metaphorical closet, of course, not a real one. Where did this metaphor from anyway?

"Yes, you did," Zoro agreed as he stood watching Sanji pack.

"I wish I had a literal closet I could have come out of to tell them." He said glaring at his dresser, "Do you think anyone's ever done that?"

"Probably, but I think usually it's more emotional and less like a proposal, where you try to be overly spectacular."

"I guess you're right. Although, I do enjoy all those flashy proposals."

"Ugh, I can't fucking watch them. I hate proposals, I don't get them."

"What?! So if I proposed to you in an amazing and public way what would you do?"

"First of all I'd be pretty freaked out because we've only been together, like, a day. But aside from that I would probably say yes and resent you a little bit for the rest of my life. Or would say no and crush your tiny heart."

"Boo, you're so boring and privet."

"I do my best, my dear."

"If you call me that again I'll kick you all the way through the wall."

"You'd rather me call you shit cook?"

"No! Yes! Wait- I don't know. That sounds more normal so I guess so."

"You're fucking weird."

"I'm fucking awesome, is what I think you meant to say."

Zoro rolled his eyes as Sanji finished stuffing all of his things into two giant suitcases. He didn't know how long he would be staying so it was best to be prepared.

They stayed for lunch. Sanji made them make pancakes even though they weren't serving them anymore. He needed some fluffy awesomeness to comfort him in this strange time. As they were about to leave Zeff stopped them at the door.

"It's good to have you back, little eggplant," Zeff said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

Sanji suppressed a smile, "It's good to be here."

After a moment if heavy emotion they turned away from one another and stated walking away.

"Don't die while I'm gone, old man," Sanji said.

"Don't drive your stupid boyfriend crazy," Zeff retorted.

"I don't think there's any avoiding that," Zoro scoffed.

"Shut up," Sanji told him.

"You have the worst taste," Zeff commented.

"You shut up too."

And with a few more indignant shouts they parted ways. What a beautiful relationship they had.

XxxX

A/N: I just wanted to talk about loons, I don't think you would hear one in the middle of farm land. And for some reason the idea of Sanji having tiny feet is hilarious.

I have this awkward relationship conversation every story. I don't like how weird the titles sound, I don't know, it's just weird. Also, I don't really get relationships in general.

Just sneezed and feel like I'm about to pass out. Whatevah.

Thanks.


	16. Fireside

I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found  
Has it gone for good?  
Or is it coming back around?  
Isn't it hard to make up your mind?  
When you're losing and your fuse is fireside

-"Fireside" Arctic Monkeys

XxxX

Even since the break in of the Wright-Patterson Air Force Base Franky had been on edge. More on edge than usual that is. As one of the officers who had been present when a subject had mysteriously disappeared he had gone through an array to testing and investigation. Nothing was found to link him to the disappearance, of course, Robin Nico was much to intelligent to let something like that happen under her watch.

She hadn't leaked any information yet, Franky knew because nobody was panicking, if there were that kind of breach then the media would have a field day and the spin doctors would be spinning. The whole operation was like a big web of carefully constructed lies constructed by a few sinister spiders, hanging over the head of the American people with their many glittering eyes and large fangs. Sometimes someone would go missing but it was never to raise alarm. And what would they do if they knew? Franky didn't even know the whole story, he doubted many people did. He doubted most people even higher up did.

As he was thinking all of this, Franky was in his hazmat suit cleaning up the last of whatever it was that had crashed in a field on the edge of farmland. It was probably one of those ships like in hanger 18. They had the traditional UFO shape and dimensions. He had only caught a glimpse of the mangled metal when it had gone to be analyzed. The bodies inside looked strangely deformed but that could be due to any number of reasons. One could never be sure of anything in a place like this one.

The doctors were monitoring their radiation exposure as well as their mental state. Some of them were new, like Franky, and some had been doing this for a long time. The older ones moved with that quick and irritated pace that comes with doing the same thing over and over for years.

As the sun started to go down they were called in to go back to town to sleep. He met eyes with Mrs Nico as he passed her, she gave no indication that she had shown any special interest in him. He passed her wordlessly and drove off into town where he could maybe escape from the insanity the he called real life. Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? Great, now he had a Queen song stuck in his head. But it was a serious question; was any of this real? It seemed far too from the norm of the usual life to be a thing that could happen but that could just be wishful thinking on his part.

XxxX

Robin Nico was good as at what she did. She had risen quickly through the ranks, as quickly as a woman could rise in such a male oriented military culture. Some manner of secret service had alway been her intention, she did love keeping secrets. For her this job was like one big puzzle, she wanted to know the whole story. There were still a good many things that she did not know.

She did not know where these mysterious ships came from, she only cleaned up after them. She knew they were tested out in Area 51 originally and perhaps that Roswell crash had been where the technology had originated from. Now these ships were constructed in hanger 18 and were common place in that base. She did not know where many of the technologies that were used came from, in fact, and it was not permitted for her to ask.

Robin did not intend this to be the height of her career, she wanted to rise to the very top. Then she could lord over her power and focus on tearing everything apart. Although she loved keeping secrets, Robin also loved things that were interesting and chaos was very interesting. Not only did she want to make it to the top, she wanted to do so even as she caused as many problems as she could. She wanted them to let the fox into the hen house and she wanted them to watch as the deceitful thing they had created fell to bits even as they invited her to join them.

Tonight she was going to leak the information. She had sent it by post to a group of conspiracy nuts who happened to have an useful set of hacking skills. Inside the mail she told them to hack a popular media outlet and play the video over their computers. Even if they didn't buy that the footage was authentic something would be said about how they were hacked and what had happened. The footage she provided had obviously been censored to conceal the identities of all the people visible. That was a shame because she probably wouldn't be able to use them again but it hardly mattered.

She dropped the package into the post box in town and stepped away. It was out of her hands now.

XxxX

During the first week of his return Sanji went to different places to interview for jobs. He wasn't really worried, he was an amazing cook after all. He was hoping to hear back soon because every time he was home alone it made him anxious, he felt like he was due to be taken away at any time. For that reason he liked to stay around large groups of people, even though he didn't really want to do that. Maybe he wasn't entirely put together mentally right now but he was dealing with it the best he could.

He ended up working at a nice seafood place. It wasn't as nice as the Baratie but then not many places were. He was glad to have the job and he enjoyed cooking sea food. Well, it mostly wasn't sea food so much as it was lake food; lots of fish and muscles caught in Lake Erie. That was fine, he liked fish a lot.

Sanji had been back for a week and a half when the information was leaked. He was looking through the news when he saw the newest scandal rattling people up. One of the media outlets had been hacked and they recovered a very strange video. Sanji clicked the video and his heart began to race.

The video quality was not great bit wasn't bad either, he suspected that the coloring was intentionally offset. The camera appeared to be on the breast pocket of a man in military uniform, judging by the sleeves.

The video was without audio, without the real audio that is. Classical music was playing in the background. The video began as a man was driving a vehicle toward a fence with the words "Wright-Patterson Air Force Base" printed on a sign to the side. The car was stopped and the man got out, the vehicle was searched by a person with a blotted out face and it continued through. As the man made it through every set of security it became apparent that he had more people with him although they were always out of frame.

As he stepped into an area that looked like reception the video cut to walking away from reception and down a long set of stairs, as there was another security check and he entered a series of hallways the video cut again and the man turned in the hall into a room that appeared very familiar to Sanji.

Obviously it was not his room but it was similar in appearance. The man walked around showing all the devices and then picked up the chart, which was mostly blurred out. The person who was in the centered chair was not moving. Their shirt was lifted to show a wound similar to Sanji's but angry and red with infection. Any identifying features of this figure were blotted out carefully.

There was a sudden jolt in the camera and the video cut again to leaving the base and driving away.

Sanji watched the video through twice and then showed it to Zoro. When they talked Sanji tried to make it sound like he was trying to convince Zoro that this was where he had been taken to and Zoro faked an expression of concern. He made himself seem paranoid and unstable. They didn't talk openly about it, if they weren't being watched before then they were now and that was a terrifying reality.

XxxX

Robin was pleased at the trouble she had stirred up on a public relations front. The government was laughing off this video as a joke but behind the scenes an intense investigation was underway. Everyone who had ever gone to hanger 18 was being interrogated. She knew she had to deal with Franky, he wouldn't hold up against their methods. He was a strong soldier but he lacked the will to keep this quiet.

She had him stay after at the site the day after she sent in the video.

"Officer Flam, I would like to talk with you," she said as the soldiers were set to leave. She did not miss the looks of sympathy or the sly looks he received from his fellow officers at her statement.

She led him back to the edge of the safety sight. He looked worried.

"Relax, I'm not going to ask anymore of you, you have done enough for me. I just wanted to thank you." She smiled in her sweetest way. At this he seemed to relax considerably although not completely, she seemed to give off an aura that made people wary of her. It was probably for good reason.

She stuck out her hand for him to shake, "It had been a pleasure working for you," she said as his hand neared hers. Just as their hands were about to touch, she pulled her hand away and pressed it quickly over his eyes. "Relax and listen to my voice," she said soothingly. How she did miss her past job of memory censorship. It was the first job she had that was confidential. Hypnotism was highly underrated by the masses and was highly effective when dealing with stressed individuals and if it didn't work torture always helped.

He did not respond although his muscles relaxed slightly. That was good. With her free hand she drew out a syringe full of a clear liquid, just to make him more willing to swallow the lies she fed him. She pressed the needle in and injected it, he barely flinched.

"Good, now remember when you broke into that base?" She asked. She had to track his mind through the events that had taken place, change things that needed to be changed.

He nodded.

"And then I guess you also remember that general Kalifa was the one who told you to do this, yes?" General Kalifa had been Franky's commanding officer before he had come to work under her. Robin had done extensive research on her and had concluded that she would be the easiest and best to frame. She was generally disliked by those she worked with and seemed arrogant enough to pull something like this. She had also been a good choice because she worked in Wright-Patterson and she left the base for extended time to do who knows what without any alibi. That was risky in and of itself. What possessed her to take such action Robin did not know, but she honestly didn't care either.

Assuming she had no alibi was a risk that Robin was willing to take and she had no qualms about having someone go down for what she had done. The final reason Kalifa was perfect was she was one of the few high ranking female Air Force officers and the nobodies Robin had Franky brought to the base had never seen her face or heard her name. Robin was going to frame Kalifa by saying that Kalifa had tried to frame her if she ever came into question. This way it could be assumed that Kalifa was the one instructing things. In a higher court Robin felt that she had the upper hand; she was liked by her associates, was willing to do the jobs no one else wanted to, and she had been in this line of work for longer than Kalifa had.

"But I thought-" Franky began. Oh, some of them resisted persuasion at first. Maybe he was more intelligent than she had given him credit for.

"You are mistaken. She found you outside of town and planned all of this out. Don't you remember?" Robin pressed without pause.

"I guess," Franky said thoughtfully.

"You guess? How could you forgot something like that?"

"I don't know, but I remember now," he said with more confidence.

"Very good, and you couldn't stand that guilt anymore so you had to tell me about her wicked plot, yes?"

"Right."

"And who was it that you broke in with?"

"Zoro, Luffy-"

"No, they all stayed home while you broke out their friend. You met them at a bar and when you discovered that their friend had been taken you went to Kalifa for help." She had the decency to not let innocent people suffer just to get herself out of trouble, at least while it was still easy that is.

"Then who were-?"

"They were people who Kalifa employed, you did not know them."

"No, I don't think I did actually." He thought of the strange faces of the people he had gone in with, they did not look like the people who he had met in the bar.

"Now, can you tell me what happened? For the purpose of keeping your story straight, I mean."

"I met Zoro and he invited me to the bar where I met Sanji's friends and I found out that he had been taken. I knew what had happened so I rushed off to Kalifa for help and she set me up with a super team. We broke Sanji out and I realized how big of a mistake I had made so I had to tell you."

"Good, now when I remove my hand I want you to forget this happened." She was taking a calculated risk in changing his memory and not erasing it. If she had erased it then the trail could have led back to Franky and they would find that his memory of the event was gone so a hypnotist must have been involved and she just happened to be one of those. If she did this then she might draw unnecessary attention to herself but she could direct it toward someone else.

She slid her hand away and slipped it into his, firmly shaking his had. "I'm very glad you came to me with this information."

Franky did not falter, "I just couldn't keep it in anymore," he breathed, "I can't believe I actually did it."

"I'll have to tell my superiors, you know."

"I know," he nodded in understanding. He was ready to suffer the consequences of his actions, whatever they may be.

"All I want to know is why?" She dipped her voice in convincing confusion.

"Because people should have a right to know," he said it with such conviction that it made Robin proud of her work.

Robin sighed and gave the blue haired man a long sorry look, "That may be so but we have to do our job, regardless of what that may entail," she paused, "But if you were to go to the media with this information they couldn't make you disappear. I've seen it before and I don't want to see it again."

"I don't want to be that crazy UFO guy, that's seriously not super. I'll deal with the consequences of my disobedience, they were going to find out sooner or later anyway." Although oddly enough he couldn't remember why he wanted to tell her all of this in the first place.

Robin was slightly disappointed at this, she had hoped that this man, flamboyant as he was, would to onto shows and become the spectacle to highlight this conspiracy. Oh well, thing would still work out despite that.

Bidding the man fair well Robin journeyed to her temporary home and called up central command to tell them about the leek. They came to take Franky away that night. Robin was commended for her actions and Kalifa threw a huge fit about not knowing anything but no one could vouch for her so she was held under intense suspicion and Franky gave all the right answers to help Robin's case.

As the investigation went on the friends of Sanji were being very heavily monitored despite Franky's claims that they weren't involved.

Sanji. Robin had read his file and felt very bad for him. He had first been taken from his home in Maine at the age of five. He was selected because his parents were good for nothing and hardly noticed the absence of their child enough to care that he was missing. No report was filed.

He had gone through his first bout of tests. When in hanger 18 they tested a good many things from new vaccines to the advantages of having a parasitic worm living inside your small intestine. Many subjected died under these testing conditions especially when injected with the strange oily liquid that was administered to all the patients. Robin had no idea what it was but it seemed to cause considerable pain and fever for many days.

On top of all that, the doctor originally in charge of Sanji had been new and inexperienced in this line of work so there were some unfortunate incidents. Most unfortunate of which involved the business of his implants. Implants were meant to to track and transmit data when necessary, and they sent out signals when they were switched on. The doctor who put in the implant near Sanji's nasal cavity placed it too close to the Kiesselbach's plexus, containing many blood vessels. When the device sent out a signal it was prone to have some influence on the tissue around it and this one would cause prolonged and gushing nosebleeds. This was not entirely uncommon in abductees as it was hard to get such a small implant into such as selective area.

The real trouble was with the implant in the back of his head. It had been common practice for a time not long ago to cut open the back of a subjects head and put the implant into the gray matter of the brain to prevent any chance of it being removed. This unfortunately led to some loss of life and sever side effects. Sanji's affects weren't as bad as some. When the implant was turned on he would suffer sever headaches and when the implant was on for extended time he would have seizures. For this reason the agency had to survey him over a longer span leading up to his disappearance than most.

The practice of putting implants into the back of the head was discontinued a while ago as the sophistication of readout of the other implants had been increased. There was a safety measure set in wait should any of the implants be removed. As soon as it was torn from the skin a series of chemical reactions would begin to slowly kill the subject with a bad spider bite being the official cause of death.

That aside, when Sanji was first hypnotized he was accidentally made to forget too much and as a result most, if not all of his memories were erased and he was dropped off in Ohio because the pilots were being lazy. Luck was not on that boy's side. Thankfully after he was dropped off Sanji was taken in by an orphanage then adopted by a man who owned a restaurant. From there he lived a relatively normal life until the implants started transmitting again approximately six months before he turned fifteen. The general stress if being a teenager was mounted with the stress of feeling the implants weigh heavily inside of him. Nosebleeds were more frequent and every now and then he experienced a seizure. The signal blocker she had instructed to be given to him should help lessen the affects of the small devices.

He was taken away again that coming summer where another series of tests were preformed. Because he was now of relative sexual maturity sperm samples were taken and sequenced then for their usefulness. They didn't have anything of use because the they didn't contain the right sequences, so they were stored away.

Upon returning home Sanji had hit a rough patch. He had spoken of his thoughts of being abducted by a UFO. He had been given the usual story that abductees were given. They were taken away by short gray aliens, taken to a flying saucer, and tested on. It was all too easy to set up. The people who did the abducting dressed as aliens and rode around in spherical crafts just in case someone were to see them take someone away. It would make any witness seem totally insane.

Sanji's life had gradually settled down again until he was twenty four and the implants were switched on once again. But enough about Sanji, there was a council waiting to give their decision on how the agency should progress knowing that a subject knew what had happened. Or what they thought had happened. A week later a decision was reached.

XxxX

Since returning Sanji had been having problems. He was always having problems it seemed. Actually remembering what happened wasn't all it was cracked up to be. He was constantly on edge and suspicious of everyone around him. This was probably due to the fact they he couldn't tell with certainty that he was being observed, although he got the strong feeling that he must be.

This threat observation was particularly awkward to think about when he was changing clothes or taking a shower. He felt like someone was defiantly watching him take his clothes off and that was something he wasn't all about. It made him want to cover his body in an uncomfortable and self conscious way.

It was also really, really uncomfortable when he was making out with Zoro. They would be going at it when he would get that nagging feeling of being watched and suddenly everything felt wrong. He hated the idea that someone was watching them do this in their own home, well it was Zoro's home but he was currently living there so right now it was his home too. He didn't want a video floating around somewhere out there of them sucking face, or worse, having sex. That was privet and no one else needed to know that it was happening except them... And anyone who may or may not hear them. This factor of having hidden cameras maybe everywhere made relationship stuff pretty uncomfortable sometimes. The fact that they both knew what was going on did make it much easier.

Their friends knowing was also a constant weight. Keeping all those secrets bottled up inside was a very difficult task. Every time their were met by a knowing look it was nearly impossible to contain that secretive little bit of information. This also made it difficult to talk about the nightmares that Sanji had nearly every night.

As time went on Sanji got less and less sleep. When he closed his eyes and his brain shut down it was like he was back there, strapped to that cold chair. He consistently dreamed about being cut open and having his insides pulled out then being sewn back together again empty inside. Other times he would dream that he was with everyone again and suddenly the windows and doors would be broken in and they would all be hauled away. Worse still was the dream he would have where everything would be like it was now and nobody would believe him no matter what evidence he showed and no matter how convincing he was, they would just shut him up in a loony bin. The worst dream of all was the one where he was back in that place and everyone how had helped him was taken with him. He would be forced to watch them be cut up and experimented on then when it was over they were made to believe that it was all Sanji's fault. It was his fault but in a greater sense Sanji was the victim here. Sanji knew that he shouldn't blame himself for getting his friend into this horrible mess, that was his life but he also couldn't help it. If they had never met him then they wouldn't be in such a dangerous position but they also decided to get involved on their own so he couldn't be entirely to blame, despite what his brain wanted to tell him. This information did not help him when he woke up frantically in the middle of the night, terrified that he had gotten everyone killed or worse.

He had yet to wake up verbally screaming but sometimes he woke up silently screaming. He was always in a cold sweat and breathing very heavily. It was impossible to avoid. He felt like the worst person in the world when he woke up Zoro like this. He was always good about it, he would always just pull him closer and listen to whatever fucked up dream he had experienced. He would always tell him that there was nothing to worry about, that it was all just his brain trying to frighten him, none of it could ever happen but they both knew that those statements weren't true. They were just to the benefit of the hidden cameras and microphones. The dreams led to him dreading sleep so he would stay up until he was forced asleep by his own body. When he decided that he should just sleep regardless of his fears because he was going crazy from lack of sleep he found that he was not able to.

Along with the insomnia and the nightmares, Sanji suffered many other side effects of his abduction and recovery. He still got the painful headaches every now and then, they weren't as frequent as they were before but they were still horrible. Last time after he had been taken when returned he hadn't had many headaches afterward, nor did he have as many nosebleeds. This time Sanji suffered both, not at the same rate he had before but enough that it was an inconvenience to him. Then there was the uncomfortable matter of letting his stitches heal. He hated stitches with all of his heart and the more that the wound healed them more he realized that he was going to be marked by this for the rest of his life. It was a heavy weight to bare. The thing he currently hated the most about it was that he couldn't kick Zoro in the face without worrying about splitting open. Zoro was so good about all of this and so were his friends, which made him feel more guilty. They shouldn't have to deal with all of this nonsense, it wasn't fair.

He was very steadily getting worse and worse. All he wanted to do was curl up under a blanket and stop existing. This is why he was unhappy but not altogether angry when Zoro recommended that he go see a therapist.

"I'm just saying that it might make your feel better," Zoro argued when Sanji had made a horrible face.

"I know but they're just going to try to convince me that I'm crazy and made me doubt my sanity," Sanji sighed.

"Would you rather continue on like this?"

He sighed again, "No, but I hated going to my old therapist and I don't want to waste time and money on another one."

"Did it help last time?"

"Not really."

"But you were an unruly teenager back then. I still think you should go, just to see if it helps you now."

Sanji groaned, "You're probably right. Ugh, this is going to suck."

But he went along with it anyway and Sanji hired a shrink to help him through his difficulties after some mild searching.

Despite all this difficult stuff the relationship Sanji and Zoro had started was stable and off to a good start, which they were both grateful for. Everyone else knew they were a Thing now too. Sanji had hoped that they would just catch on but as it happened it wasn't quite that easy. They all found out after Sanji had been talking with Vivi and said something probably about making out with Zoro's stupid face or something when she stopped him for a second.

"Wait, are you two like together?" she asked cautiously, worried she might offend but still very much wanting to know.

"Yeah, we have been since I got back. Was that not as obvious as I had hoped it would be? I though that everyone would just catch on so we wouldn't have to announce it or something weird like that."

"Ah, well, is a but difficult to tell. You two are not especially touchy and your actions toward one another can be construed as just a really intense bromance rather than an actual relationship."

"So, everyone just thought we were really gay but not like actually homosexual gay?"

Vivi made a face, "Yeah, I guess that would be accurate."

"Huh, I guess we should have been more clear."

Vivi now had her phone out and she was texting someone. A few seconds later Nami burst through the back door and shouted, "I knew it!" Pointing an accusatory finger at Sanji who simply smiled back.

"Sorry, I thought it would be obvious," Sanji apologized with a laugh.

"Well, it wasn't. We just thought there were some serious unresolved sexual tensions floating around."

That's when Zoro walked though the door, oblivious to what was going on. He sat down beside Sanji while everyone stared at him.

"What?" he asked in confusion.

Sanji started laughing, "Everyone thought we were really gay."

Zoro looked now very confused. "I don't even know what the fuck that means so I will counter with; you are really gay."

"Well, you make out with guys so that makes you actually really gay," Sanji informed him.

"Well, I don't know about you but I only make out with one guy and it's your fault so you are gayer than me. Plus, you have a girly face."

"I do not," Sanji said, banging his fist on the counter.

"Sure you don't." Zoro rolled his eyes and turned to Vivi who had yet to pour him any alcohol. "Can I have my sake now?"

"Right," she said, hurriedly pouring him a glass.

He received it happily but then he turned his gaze to Nami. "Hey, cook, any idea why Nami is giving us a death glare."

"She's angry that we didn't inform her of the nature of our relationship. Apparently it was clear enough."

"Oh, well in that case." He grabbed the front Sanji's shirt and tugged him forward, crushing their mouths together. When they pulled apart Vivi was blushing and Nami was still glaring at them.

"You messed up my shirt, you bastard," Sanji said mournfully looking at his wrinkled shirt.

Zoro rolled his eyes and continued to drink his alcohol.

XxxX

A/N: As I said, I don't know much about the military.

I love spiders, especially when they have many glassy eyes and large gnashing fangs.

And I think you deserve a few explanations about why some of the things that happened to Sanji happened and what was really going on. At least as far as Robin knows.

Thanks.


	17. If I Be Wrong

What if I'm wrong, what if I've lied  
What if I've dragged you here to my own dark night  
And what if I know, what if I see  
There is a crack run right down the front of me

-"If I Be Wrong" Wolf Larsen

XxxX

Sanji came home from an especially long feeling day at work completely exhausted. It was raining out and he didn't even own an umbrella or a rain jacket so he was well and truly drenched. He stomped through the doorway shivering and looking generally sorry for himself. The place appeared to be empty, which was unusual because Zoro should have been home hours ago. Although, it was possible that he was having a drink at the Thousand Sunny as he did everyday, although not usually so late. The constantly paranoid part of his brain was highly alarmed had the lack of Zoro but he took a breath, sent a text and went to get away from this horrible wet feeling.

As alarming as the idea of Zoro being gone was he was ever conscious of the slippery slope of crazy he was standing on the edge of. He didn't want to end up like one of those people who walks around with tinfoil around their head to keep the government from reading their thoughts. He was terrified of ending up like that both on his own behalf and that of his friends' he didn't want them to see him end up like that.

He shed his soaking clothes as soon as he was in the bathroom and took a long, well deserved shower. When he came out there were no new messages and his alarm grew. He texted Nami to ask if he was with her before going to pour himself some soup that he had made a few days previously. Soup was always better a few days after it was cooked and it did well to sooth his nerves when paired with some nice bread.

He got no reply from Nami, probably because she was working and her phone was off. Stupid. So he texted Luffy instead and tried to relax and watch Netflix. His phone remained silent and he was far too distracted with his worry to watch Dexter murder people. It was weird that he though a show about a serial killer would make him feel better but in the back of his mind it did comfort him in some way although it was only fractional and amounted to basically nothing.

Time passed excruciatingly slowly and his panic was at about a seven because he knew that logically anything could be preventing Zoro from being there but then there was also the fact that the government might want them dead or missing, he didn't think they were picky as long as they were out of the way. As he sat against the couch arm curled up in a blanket and trying to suppress his panic his phone vibrated, making him nearly jump out if his skin. It was from Zoro, thank fuck.

Zoro 12:34 AM

Sorry, there was an accident on the site. I'll explain at home but I won't be there until late.

Sanji 12:35 AM

Just hurry up.

He was relieved to hear from him but still anxious. Someone else could have texted that using Zoro's phone, he had no way of knowing what was going on behind that screen. He sighed, he was being silly and blowing things way out of proportion. Things would be fine, Zoro would be fine, everything would be fine. Things had never been fine before this but that didn't matter, now it would be fine. This wasn't helping, he was making himself more worked up when he was trying to comfort himself.

His therapist had been telling him what to do in these sort of situations but he hadn't listened, he hated all therapists. He had heard it all before and it never helped. Oh well, what good was it now?

He decided to bottle up all his panic and instead went about in slightly manic action doing whatever he could to distract himself. He eventually fell asleep awkwardly on the couch. Under normal circumstances it would have been a blessing that he would fall asleep like this and he hadn't even been having a nightmare but now he as annoyed because he needed to stay up waiting for Zoro. He was startled awake by the sound of the door opening. He sat up slowly and checked his phone 3:11 AM, ugh, fuck that.

Zoro kicked off his shoes and wandered into the living room. He was surprised to see Sanji on the couch looking up at him, his face slightly puffy and pale from sleep. His skin looked vaguely iridescent in the darkness.

"Sorry to wake you," Zoro said gruffly. He knew how painful it was for Sanji to try sleeping and how rare it was for him to sleep soundly.

Sanji stood shaking his head. "Don't worry about it." He felt overly relieved at seeing Zoro home where he belonged. In his joy he stepped forward and rapped his arms around the green haired man, leaning his weight onto him.

Zoro was mildly surprised at this display. "What? I wasn't gone that long," he said.

"I know," Sanji said, shaking his head again where it rested over Zoro's shoulder. "I'm just weird and I missed you."

Zoro smiled slightly and slid his arms around Sanji's waist. "Sorry, I should have know that you would be lost without me," he said with a little grin that Sanji could not see.

Sanji grimaced, and pulled away slightly to glare at Zoro's face. "Shut up, I was not 'lost without you' I just didn't know if something bad had happened."

"Well, everything is fine so you can relax," assured Zoro, leaning forward slightly. Sanji met him halfway in a slow lazy kiss that quickly got out if hand. They moved with quick motions and fast breathes. But as usual one of them came to their senses before thing a got too out of hand and there was a sex tape in the making. It had been close a few times but the urge to protect that one semblance of privacy was held to high degree. This time it happened to be Sanji.

Sanji drew back with heavy breaths. "As wonderful as this is," he began, "I think we should put this on hold because I'm about to fall over from exhaustion," he said although he cast a look around the room like he thought they were being spied on, it would be hard to see it in the dark like this so he felt comfortable doing it.

Zoro sighed frustratedly but conceded without much objection. If Sanji needed sleep then he wasn't going to prevent him from getting any.

Sanji felt bad about this but he just sighed. "Come on, let's just go to bed." He was too fucking tired for this shit, so he dragged Zoro back into the bedroom and rolled onto the mattress like a lazy ninja. Zoro put on a pair of sweat pants, brushed his teeth, and climbed in after him. Rolling closer to his heat, Sanji was was struck by how comfortable this felt. Laying there in bed together, Zoro slowly pulling his fingers through the ends of Sanji's golden hair.

Zoro was staring at him through the darkness, Sanji could feel those dark eyes heavy on him. His gaze was oppressive but Sanji sent him a crooked smile which he wasn't sure that Zoro could actually see but it didn't really matter.

As it turned out, Zoro could see Sanji well in the darkness. He had very good eyesight. Maybe it was because he was part plant, all that vitamin C. No, dammit, he wasn't supposed to make plant jokes about himself in his head, that was Sanji's job, the bastard was getting to him. Sanji who was currently staring up at him with both of those clear blue eyes, those bizarre eyebrows, that smooth hair, and that crooked smile. He was just so... There wasn't a correct word for it, there was this feeling Zoro got when he looked at him or thought about him for too long. The feeling was warm and hard to embody into words. The closest word Zoro could think of was love but it still didn't seem the quite the right fit. Oh well, language was confining sometimes.

"Are you just going to stare at me like a weirdo or are you going to say something? Because you look like you have something to say," Sanji's smiled turned up into a smirk.

Zoro's expression did not change but he breathed a heavy sigh. "I wasn't going to but now I feel like I have to."

"Well, I'm listening so you better tell me before I fall asleep."

"Okay, you asked for it; I am fairly confident that I am in love with you," Zoro drawled.

Sanji made a face, "You are the worst at confessing your love. You couldn't have thought of any better way to word it?"

"Nah, I don't love you enough to bother with that."

"Wow, now I am offended. I think you should probably love me more than that," Sanji teased.

"I guess you'll just have to become a better person then. You could start by saying 'I love you too' because I'm starting to feel like this relationship is terribly one sided," Zoro said in mocked concern.

Sanji scoffed, "Fine. I, Sanji Black, do hereby confess my undying love to one Zoro Roronoa."

"Funny that despite how eloquent that was mine sounded more real."

Sanji rolled his eyes, "You put up with all the shit I've put you through, you are, like, my favorite person; I obviously love you." He pressed a kiss to Zoro's mouth.

"Much better. I think this is a relationship milestone."

"Is it? I don't know."

"I don't know either."

"We suck at relationships," Sanji huffed.

"Well, as long as we are sucking together it's fine."

Sanji wrinkled his nose, unsure if that was a double entendre or not. It sounded suspiciously close to one if it was not. "Well, it's like fucking late and my brain can't think, so I suggest sleep." He gave up in his efforts to stay focused.

"Very well, good night and don't let the bed bugs bite."

"Shut the fuck up, I hate you."

"I hate you too."

And for once, Sanji quickly fell asleep. Despite his earlier good rest his dreams were dark and turbulent, he was carried through an endless void with no comfort but his inevitable damnation.

Sanji's eyes snapped open. Morning light shone lightly through the curtains. He was laying on his back, looking up at the ceiling. He turned his head to the left to look at Zoro, who was facing toward him and breathing evenly onto the sheets.

As his eyes glazed over his face he was startled to see an big ugly purple bruise had formed on his left cheek. He hadn't noticed anything like that last night but then again it was late and very dark. He lifted his hand to the injury, grazing his fingertips over it. Even that movement made the swordsman's face twitch. He opened his eyes slightly before he blinked them open again for a second time.

"What happened to your face?" Sanji asked horsely, poking again at the discolored flesh. He felt bad for waking him up and internally berated himself for doing so.

Zoro brushed his hand away, "We were getting ready to go and Lufy accidentally whacked me in the face with a board, which made me shoot two nails into my side," he shrugged.

"You what!?"

"I was holding a nail gun. Relax, I didn't hit anything vital! That's why I was so late. They had to do a bunch of tests and make sure I didn't fuck myself up or anything."

"You freaked me out, you should have said something."

"Sorry, I should have texted sooner. I left my phone in the car."

"At least you're here now. So do you have new battle scars then?"

"Yep," Zoro said pulling up his shit to reveal his patched up side, "I more I get the sexier I become."

"Yeah, because that's how it works."

Zoro snickered they were silent for a while, quietly laying around too lazy to get up before Zoro spoke up. "Let's go up to Kelley's Island today," he said.

"What, why?" asked Sanji in confusion.

"You've never been there right?"

"No."

"So let's go be spontaneous. I have a year ferry pass and it's not that expensive if you go across without a car. We can just go get a golf cart." Really they could take Luffy's boat but Zoro didn't want to deal with Nami so that ruled that option out.

"Alright, fine. Let's be spontaneous." They didn't have anything planned and Sanji was starting to go nuts from staying in the same general area at a constant state of paranoia.

Slowly they got up and ready, packing a backpack full of a light lunch and some money. They were in no rush, they had decided to get on the ferry at eleven. As they waited for the boat to come into its dock they watched the seagulls as they few overhead like vultures.

"So, what is there to do on this island?" Sanji asked as they waited.

Zoro let a breath through his teeth. "Let's see, there's inscription rock, which is a rock with a bunch of Native American symbols on it but it sucks because it's really fucking weathered down. There are beaches but it's kind of cold out today and you still have stitches. There are glacial grooves to look at. We can go hiking, or just ride around in a golf cart. Oh, and there's a church camp, I'm sure they'd appreciate two homosexuals showing up on their grounds." If that's what they were. Zoro didn't even know what his sexuality was. It just kind of... was.

"Yeah, I don't think I want to he hissed at today, that you very much. I say we go hiking and ride around on a golf cart."

"Good choice."

Not long after that the boat pulled slowly into place and the cars on board slowly moved off and new cars moved on. When they were done loading, the people on foot got on. There were a fair number of people, as this was the weekend. Most of the people went up to the seating area on top but Zoro and Sanji stayed down with the cars near the back and leaned against the side of the ship.

Sanji smiled down at the murky water of the shallow lake as the ferry began to pull away from the mainland.

"Nothing like the smell if seaweed early in the morning, right?" Zoro said jostling Sanji lightly.

"Yeah, fresh air is overrated. I'd much rather smell seaweed and dead fish."

"Say what you will but I grew up in that shitty polluted water."

"It's not that bad, is it?"

"It's pretty fucked up, it's causing problems environmentally."

"Fuck people, why do we alway fuck nice shit up?"

"Because we fucking suck."

The land behind them was slowing becoming farther away and hazing out if view.

"Look over there," Zoro said pointed out toward a hazy shape on the mainland. "There's Cedar Point."

Sanji squinted and could vaguely see the thin rails of the high reaching roller coasters. Sanji was not a fan of rides, he wasn't scared of them, he would just rather not ride them.

"I don't like roller coasters much," Sanji said flatly.

"I'm pretty much a roller coaster expert. A bonus of having parents who don't give a shit is doing whatever you want."

"You filled the void your parents left with swords and roller coasters?"

"And arcade games." Zoro turned and pointed to something on the other side of the land. "See those smoke stacks? Those are in Michigan."

"Boo, Michigan. Get off the lake."

"They aren't on the lake, they're on their own land."

"And I will not set foot upon it. Unless I want to go there because it's actually a nice place."

"Then why do you talk about it so scornfully?"

"Because football rivalries are a big deal, marimo. A macho man such as yourself should know this. We the buckeyes must irrationally hate those blue and yellow wolverines. Scarlet and red forever, baby! And that is why Michigan must die." Sanji rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, football doesn't really interest me. Look, another thing of interest," Zoro said pointing at what looked like a tall light house poking up off of another island. "That's Perry's Monument, if you go up there you can see like everything. It's awesome."

"Who the fuck is Perry and why did he deserve a monument?"

"A captain or general or something in the war of 1812. They fought a big battle on this lake, it was the battle of lake Erie. There are a bunch of sunken ships out here."

"Weird, it's hard to believe something like that could happen out here. I barely even remember what the fuck the war of 1812 was all about."

"Probably because it happened over two hundred years ago and it was just a failed attempt by the British to take back the United States, or I guess then in was these United States but whatever. Anyway, Kelley's is way better than Put in Bay."

"Is that the other island?"

"Yeah, it's the one with all the bars and drunk people."

"Is there anything else to do other than get drunk?"

"Yeah, There's a massive geode you can go inside."

"Wait, you can go inside it?"

"Yeah, it's fucking massive. It's actually the biggest in the world."

"Holy shit."

"Yeah, but it's lined with limestone so it's not especially pretty like those ones with all the crystals even though it's called crystal cave."

"Ugh, this is weird, I'm learning things. How is it possible that you have the capacity of knowing these things?"

"Because I grew up here and I'm actually kind of smart."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Okay, maybe I'm of average intelligence, big deal, you nerd."

"I'm not a nerd."

"Have you read A Game of Thrones?" Zoro asked suspiciously.

Sanji glared at him, "Lots of people read that book series, not just nerds." But he had read them.

"Have you read Lord of the Rings?"

"Shut up, I'm not talking to you anymore."

"Whatever, by my definition you are a nerd."

Kelley's island was now coming rapidly into view. Kelley's was the second largest island on the lake and from above it looked a bit like a deformed Australia. It had a small population who lived there and was generally a nice little place.

The ferry pulled safely into place and everyone got off. Sanji and Zoro headed into the rental place and got a golf cart. Sanji hesitantly let Zoro drive because he didn't know where the fuck he was going.

They drove through a small town and into a little wooded area. They passed a few golf carts on their way. When they came out of the woods they drove past as series of nice houses and a small school, it was so small in fact that Zoro joked that they always had a graduating class of one. They went past the funny little school and past a little cemetery that Zoro held his breath going by to prevent the ghosts getting inside of him and taking possession of his body.

In the woods to the side Sanji saw something that looked like ancient fucking ruins.

"What the fuck are those?" Sanji asked as they passed the creepy looking structure.

"It's an old winery, there used to be a bunch of them here for some reason."

Then they went by a camp site filled with people. Just past this was the beach where there were a good number of people swimming. Sanji wished that he could swim right now but he wasn't supposed to get his stitches wet or anything. They drove past all of this to the end of the road and parked in a little parking lot.

"So where are we?" Sanji asked.

"We are going hiking," Zoro replied, turning off the vehicle and walking toward the opening of the path. It was well trod and clear, although there were a lot of tree roots growing onto the path and threatening to trip any and all travelers who dared to walk over them. They were about halfway down the trail when looking at the ground Sanji was horrified to see lots of daddy long legs crawling across leaves and over rocks.

Remain calm, he told himself, don't freak out.

The little creatures scurried away from their stomping feet. During Sanji's strain to remain in control of himself he had neglected to keep up conversation with Zoro, who was now staring at him with a peculiar expression on his face. Sanji offered a small half smile that did nothing to dissuade this look.

"Something wrong?" Zoro asked curiously.

"Nope." Sanji shook his head.

"I don't believe you."

"Well, I'm not going to say anything more so you're just going to have to deal with it."

Zoro continued to pester him for a few more steps at which point they had to crawl over a fallen tree and a daddy long leg scampered over Sanji's hand. He flung the thing away in disgust, letting out an undignified yelp.

Zoro turned to him in shock, "What was that?" He asked, "Daddy long legs, seriously? Of all the things you could be freaked out by?"

"Shut up, I can't stand spiders. They're so.." He shuttered.

"But they're like not even spiders, are they?"

"I don't care what they are, they are horrible."

As it happened the daddy long legs were actually a subclass of Arachnids called Opiliones. And the daddy long legs being spoken of had the actual name of harvestman.

"Whatever, just get over here," Zoro said motioning for him to move forward.

Sanji hesitated but wasn't about to make himself look like a weakling so he hurried over the fallen tree. The rest of the walk was filled by Zoro watching Sanji skirt around the little spider like things in amusement. Just to bother him, Zoro picked up one of the things by two of its legs.

"Oh my god, out that thing the fuck down."

"It's fine, see," Zoro pulled apart it's legs and suddenly it had one less leg to scurry around on. Zoro held up the disembodied legs so that Sanji could watch them twitch around.

Sanji looked somehow more horrified, "Don't do that!" Pulling off the thing a legs was somehow more horrible than letting it go free. But Zoro didn't listen to him, he continued to pull off its legs until it had only one to pull itself by. Then he threw it into the woods.

"You are the worst," Sanji mumbled as they continued on their path.

The woods were thicker back in this area and they finally came across a place like those you find in front if monuments but it was in a glass box and too foggy inside to read.

They passed the little box thing quickly, Zoro didn't even stop. The tree line abruptly cut off and they were standing on a small plane of rock on the edge of the lake. Were this a large body of water the waves might have splashed up dramatically but as it was it only splashed weakly at the rock, although the air did have a damp feel to it.

Zoro grabbed Sanji's hand and led him down toward the edge of the rock outcrop and stepped over onto another beside it. It was then that Sanji noticed the grooves in the stone.

"Are these like glacial grooves?" He asked curiously. The rock had smooth and defined grooves that broke off as the rock did, into the lake.

"Yep, we could go to the actual display area, where they are more big and defined but I think this is better because you can touch it." He said crouching down to run his had over the rock.

"I agree," Sanji said in awe as he too touched the very, very old stone old enough to carry the pressure of a glacier when the lake was formed. That was how the lake was formed after all, melting glaciers at least that's what formed the lake it was today. It used to be a series of smaller prehistoric lakes. When the glaciers came down from the Canada area they stopped part of the way through Ohio leaving the state part flat and part hilly with the foothills of the Appalachian mountains.

"Let's have lunch here," Sanji proposed, not waiting for and answer and getting out their food. Her handed Zoro his bit and began to eat his own.

They watched the water move against the cloudy sky for a moment before Sanji realized something.

"Hey, I just realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to talk about stuff," he said excitedly.

"What stuff?" Zoro asked in confusion, there was a lot of stuff they could talk about.

"You know, stuff. It's perfect. We're on a tiny island that we didn't plan on going to, we're alone, we aren't currently around any technology. We can say whatever we want, which is good because I feel like I'm about to explode."

Zoro was giving him a weird look, "What are you talking about?"

Sanji's heart skipped a beat and his stomach sank in worry, "What do you mean, it's kind of a huge deal. What the fuck else would I be talking about?"

"You're starting to freak me out, cook, just tell me what you're talking about."

Sanji felt his panic rising up through his body and his breath caught in his throat, "Please tell me that you are fucking with me," Sanji said, setting down his food and looking at the swordsman desperately.

"I have literally no idea what you're talking about," Zoro said helplessly.

Sanji let out a choked laugh, "Of course not, I knew things were going too well." He felt a lump rising in his throat and he felt vaguely sick.

"Sanji, what the fuck are you talking about?" Zoro looked almost as freaked out as he felt. Almost.

"No," Sanji said shaking his head, "I don't want to tell you now. You'll think I'm fucking insane, maybe I am. Fuck, the universe is doing that thing again."

"What thing?"

"The thing where it fucks me over like a fucking bitch." He felt short if breath and he knew he could feel the onset of a panic attack. He had to calm down. Take a deep breaths and relax. Zoro reached out to him with concern, taking his hand and squeezing it lightly. Under normal circumstances the gesture would be appreciated but now it was like a stab in the heart.

"Relax, just tell me what's going on. I promise not to ditch you. I mean, how much worse can I be than 'I've been abducted by aliens'?"

"Way worse," Sanji moaned, pulling away his hand from Zoro's and scratching at the back of his neck roughly. He clenched his teeth in frustration for a moment before he slowly let air hiss through his teeth and he began to talk.

"Okay, so you remember me being missing, right?"

"Yeah."

"Tell me what you think happened."

"You disappeared for like a month and then I suddenly got a call from you on a farm in the middle of fucking nowhere."

"What did I say happened?"

"You said you didn't remember."

"Okay, here's what I remember. I was abducted by a UFO being operated by the Air Force and taken to an Air Force base where they did stuff to me until you, Luffy, Nami, Chopper, Usopp, and some guy I don't know busted me out. I was dropped off at that farm to make it seem like I just suddenly appeared and we have been monitored since then, probably." And there it was. That look of pity and sadness, with a hint of you are fucking crazy. It hurt even more than Sanji expected it would.

"You're telling me that we broke into an Air Force base, how the fuck would that be possible?" Zoro was humoring him, he had to be.

"I don't know, you didn't give me the details in case I got taken away again and they made me tell. You were all in disguises and your hair was dyed upsettingly. Don't ever dye you hair, it's perfect the way it is." He babbled.

"An you were abducted by a UFO?" He said dubiously.

"Yes... But now I could identify it so it's not really an Unifentifed Flying Object, it's just a flying saucer," Sanji replied weakly. The expression Zoro was giving him made him doubt himself considerably, seeing as it was a ridiculous tale, but he also felt completely positive that it had all happened. "They must have gotten to you last night, that's the only time you've been gone so long, and if they got you they must have gotten everyone else too, now I'm just the crazy one. I guess that's the point, it's so crazy that I must be insane."

Zoro sighed, "Do you always have to make things so complicated?"

"It's not my fault!"

"I know, I'm just worried about this sudden leap to paranoia and conspiracy that you've taken."

"I told you, it wasn't a sudden leap. This is what happened before too."

"And you really have implants under your skin?"

"Yeah, they probably still track me with them."

"Right..."

Sanji clenched his head and sighed, "Look, I know that you don't believe me and I don't blame you for that, but for my sake when we leave this place can you not talk about being involved in this, just in case? On the off chance that I'm right. I'm not asking you to believe me, just don't implicate yourself in my rescue."

Zoro looked at him for a moment, "Alright, but I'm just going to come out and say it; I think you should probably go see your shrink more."

Sanji groaned, "Fine, whatever, just don't fucking talk about it." He laid his hands in his lap, looking down at them blankly. "I'm sorry to put you through this," he said. He assumed that it must be at least a little disturbing to see him like this.

"You can't help it," Zoro said dismissively as he resumed his eating.

Somehow that made him feel even worse than he did before. He had become used to someone believing his bewildering tale, even when they couldn't talk about it, it was comforting to know that he wasn't alone. He was suddenly on his own again and he couldn't think of a way out of it. Maybe it was best to start repressing all the crazy now and save Zoro the trauma.

They finished their lunch and began their walk back toward the golf cart. Zoro held his hand the whole way back but somehow this made him feel even more on his own. As they climbed back onto the vehicle Sanji resolved to not let this mindcrushingly painful event ruin the rest of the day. He pressed down the negative emotions to the best of his abilities and requested that they go on a tour of the island.

They passed many things on the tour: a tiny airplane landing strip, a 4h building, some sketchy looking houses, a weird religious shrine in the woods. The big quarry filled with water, where they stopped to hike down an throw rocks at the fish living inside. They passed the church camp Zoro mentioned, kids were standing in the road waiting to get on boats to go tubing. It looked like a nice little place but when he thought of church camp he automatically thought of hard core right wing republican values and it didn't settle right in his stomach.

All the while they kept up a steady stream of light conversation, like their previous conversation had never happened at all. Sanji wished that it hadn't.

They left the island at six and returned home.

XxxX

A/N: *cough cough* uh, romance is weird and awkward. Why do even try writing it? I don't know either. I just can't and I feel like you suffer for it :( it's even more awkward because I was writing surrounded by people.

Sorry if you're from Michigan but the rivalry between Ohio and Michigan runs deep for some reason. I don't get it either. I've been to Kelley's Island, so I know the secrets :3

And it's the Apple-a-shin mountains not Apple-at-chin. I hate it when it's said that way. Both pronunciations are right but whatever.

Thanks.


	18. Don't Stop

Walk little walk  
Small talk big thoughts  
Gonna tell them all just what I want  
That street two streets I see you and me  
Hanging on the empty swings  
Count high low don't worry my eyes are closed  
I'm a superman and it's my show  
One shoe two  
Gonna kick with my new shoes  
I'm going to kick until I need new shoes

-"Don't Stop" Foster The People

XxxX

Over the period on the next week or so Sanji started seeing his therapist more often. He tried his best to put off scheduling appointments for as long as he possibly could but with Zoro glancing worriedly over his shoulder that made it quite difficult.

Sanji hated this new transition with all of his everything. He hated how so quickly the situation could be morphed into something so annoyingly twisted against him. He felt truly awful about it. Sometimes they talked about it but keeping with Sanji's wish Zoro never brought up the part about himself or his friends being involved.

Speaking of those friends, Sanji was correct in assessing that they also had their memories wiped. They all noticed something was up with Sanji and they were all very concerned with him.

Despite his best efforts Sanji did end up going to see a therapist a few times a week and he hated every second of it. It wasn't that he hated his therapist, he hated the fact that he had to go to therapy. In fact, he didn't mind his therapist much as a person. The guy was not what he had first expected. What he expected was someone who was very happy, open, and who pretended to be concerned with everything he said. What he got was Doctor Trafalgar Law. He looked like the kind of guy who needed therapy rather than gave it. He was tall, a good four inches taller than Sanji, with dark sideburns and a soul patch. He was constantly scowling and he had a good number of visible tattoos, including the word 'DEATH' across his knuckles. Outside of a therapy session he gave Sanji the creeps but when he actually in session he was quite good. Sometimes Sanji even felt bad for not listening.

When Sanji wasn't listening doctor Law would ramble on about things that didn't really matter until Sanji became interested in whatever it was he was saying and they would start up a conversation. Little by little Law began to gain Sanji's trust. Sanji, of course, knew that it was his job to win over his trust but as they got to know each other he didn't mind so much. Apparently, Law used to be a surgeon but had lost the ring and pinky finger of his right hand to a car accident and the rest of his hand was no longer as dexterous as it once was. The experience had fucked him up pretty badly but he had hated going to therapy because his therapist sucked so he resolved to be the best god damned therapist ever. Sanji suspected that he could go onto bigger and better things if he wanted to, for how long he was stay in this job Sanji suspected not long. Despite his oddities, Doctor Law had managed to do something that Sanji's other therapist had not; he got him to talk. He told Law all about his experiences, omitting the part of his rescuers, he did so uncomfortably but willingly. Law listened intently and talked with him about what it could mean and disproving Sanji's fantasies with a stunningly smooth logic. It hurt at first to have his memories dismissed as fiction but in a way it comforted him. Part of him didn't want to believe that it had happened at all.

It had all felt so real but then all delusions felt real to those who experienced them. Maybe it was all a part of his imagination. Last time he had gone through therapy he hadn't been willing to listen and therefore had not gotten any better but he was an adult now and he wanted to listen, he wanted to get better. He was so tired of those kind, pitying looks, they made him sick.

Gradually, Law began to convince Sanji that it really was all in his head and Sanji began to get better. This was not by any means an easy process, it was long and difficult. The first step had been diagnosing Sanji with a mixed delusional disorder. Delusional, Sanji hated that word, it made him feel crazy when he knew he wasn't. Maybe that was the problem, he kept telling himself that he wasn't crazy when he was. He couldn't trust his eyes on this, but then what could he trust?

The months passed slowly with small amounts of progress. He still couldn't move without thinking that cameras were in him, watching his every move. He was still conscious about the things he did just in case someone was watching. What great fun paranoia was. Sometimes he felt boxed in like he couldn't get away from the camera lenses and he couldn't breathe. He began to hate taking showers.

XxxX

It was halloween night and Sanji and Zoro were getting ready for Luffy's ridiculous Halloween party. It was actually being held at Nami's house but at Luffy's request and it was always completely absurd. Luffy just so happened to be a huge halloween advocate and Sanji had been warned that his costume had to be amazing.

Sanji as a kid never really celebrated Halloween. He usually passed our candy when other kids came by, he never went out with them they made him feel different. The blond had decided that he would do something that was either very ironic or kind of fucked up, either way he felt that it probably helped with his therapy. He was going dressed as an alien. He had ordered this fucking weird shimmery costume to wear along with an iconic green alien mask and a headband with green balls at the end. All of his exposed body was painted over in green. He felt oddly giddy in this bright costume.

That was nothing compared to Zoro's costume. Zoro half made and half ordered a fucking amazing samurai costume. It was probably one of the most impressive things Sanji had ever seen. When Zoro had first stepped out with the costume on Sanji had let out a whistle. The blond was already in costume, his mask pulled to the side of his head to allow him greater vision. "You look like something straight out of a history book," Sanji commented with a grin.

"You look like an alien in a pop tart wrapper," Zoro shot back, gazing at Sanji's shimmery space suit. He looked even sillier because he had Napoleon Dynamite style space boots and a ridiculous kids gun.

Sanji grabbed the gun and unholstered it, pointing to the center of Zoro's chest. "I warn you, my phasers are set to kill so you better not fuck with me."

Zoro drew a wooden sword from his belt, he couldn't go around carrying his real ones after all. "Try it, I dare you."

The air was still as they glared at each other. Then Sanji's finger pressed the button as Zoro ducked out of the way of the imaginary blast as the toy let out a whirring noise and lit up in time with the action. Sanji quickly fired another shot as Zoro lunged toward him. His aim was off and there was soon a wooden sword pressed against his green painted neck. It wasn't all bad though, he did have his gun pressed under Zoro's chin. The air was once again very still as they waited to see who would make the move to kill.

"The gun is a coward's weapon," Zoro said, his eyes not moving from Sanji's.

"Cowards and aliens, we can't all be samurai," Sanji whisper back, trying to anticipate the next move.

"I say we call it a draw," Zoro decided, "Put down your weapon."

"I'll put down mine when you put down yours."

Zoro nodded and cautiously drew back his sword as Sanji drew back his gun. At nearly the same time Sanji pressed the gin into Zoro's chest and fired while Zoro stabbed him in the gut. They both flew back, imitating over the top deaths.

"You were... a worthy adversary..." Sanji gasped out dramatically, "I am and always shall be your friend, live long and prosper." And then he went limp.

Zoro was laughing, "You're such a dork."

Sanji sat up with a sudden gasp. "Your blatant disrespect for the dead has brought me back to life in order to punish you for your crime."

"Oh no, whatever shall I do?" Zoro said in monotone.

"You must come back with me to my home planet where we will become bonded for life."

Zoro wrinkled his nose, "That sounds like some freaky alien shit, not sure if I'd be into it."

"That's racist and you don't have a choice."

"I do have a choice and it's xenophobic."

Sanji rolled his eyes, "Whatever," Sanji slid over to sit next to him, "I'll just get my alien friends to kidnap you. Trust me, being abducted by aliens isn't fun," he jested.

Zoro laughed but a little bit of sadness worked it's way into his mind at that last comment. "I think you'll find me able to stand up to any torture you may inflict." He jabbed Sanji in the side making him spaz out a little bit. The shiny fabric he was wearing crinkled oddly under his touch. Amused, Zoro started to pat at Sanji's costume.

Sanji wore an expression of the upmost confusion and he looked very uncomfortable. "What the fuck are you doing?" he asked in a strange voice.

"This stuff is weird," Zoro said, messing with the fabric at Sanji's stomach to illustrate his point.

"Can you stop? Because you are seriously weirding me out."

"There's a change of pace. How's it feel to not be the weird one?" Zoro teased.

"I don't like it," Sanji decided, glaring up at the ceiling. It made him uncomfortable.

As they continued in their odd way they lost track of time and only rushed out when Nami texted Sanji asking where he was.

Sanji texted back that he was sorry, their banter had gotten out of hand. Was it banter or flirting? He could never really be sure, he supposed that it was half and half. Whatever, he liked banter. It was bant-astic. He liked to thing of himself as a bant-osaurus Rex. He often liked to imagine he was the Archbishop of Banter-bury. Sometimes he even took trips to Bant-anamo Bay, although it wasn't a savory place. Other times people had to take Banti-acids because they couldn't handle his sick banter.

...God, he was a dork, wasn't he?

At Nami's house everyone was already there, Luffy was dressed as a garden gnome, a red pointed had sat on the curved part of his straw hat. Chopper was dressed as a reindeer which felt more Christmasy but it suited him well enough. Brook, as he apparently always did, was dressed as a skeleton and was relentless with his bad skeleton jokes. Nami was dressed in Ancient Greek style clothes and said she was Plutus, god of wealth. Usopp came dressed as the best Captain America outside of the movies.

Everyone looked fantastic and the party went well into the night. At some point in the night Sanji slipped out onto Nami's little porch for a breath of fresh air, the air inside was suddenly constricting. The night was cool, as it usually was in October and he shivered in the darkness. The other houses along the way were dark by this time and the water glistened like thick oil.

Sanji tipped back his head and looked up at the starry sky. It seemed a little silly now that he could have thought he had ever been abducted by aliens. He could not trust his memory now, however convincing it was. He flinched a little but was the door opened letting forth a brief sound of talking and laughter. Zoro had stepped out into the darkness with him. He should have suspected that he would be followed.

"What are you doing?" Zoro asked, he wasn't sure quite how to take Sanji's sudden leave of the party.

Sanji turned his head back to the open sky. "Trying to spot my alien brethren."

"Any luck?"

"No, I'm afraid they've grown tired and left me to rot down here. I suppose I'll do better down here anyway," Sanji sighed.

Zoro stepped behind him and wrapped his arms around his shimmery body. "If it's all the same to you, I think you're better off down here too. You can't keep your head up there in the clouds forever," he commented, his breath warm against Sanji's neck. His armor was bulky and awkward behind Sanji's back but the chef didn't move away, although, this was mostly because he was cold and Zoro was radiating heat.

"I guess you're right but I've never been one much for being realistic."

"Your goal isn't to become the world's greatest swordsman," Zoro chuckled.

"That goal is more realistic than not and you know it, mister samurai," Sanji grinned. He looked down to the water again then back up to the stars as they twinkled in the sky so very far away. So old and so very far away. It made him feel so small like nothing he did really matter and maybe it didn't. He turned away from the sky, twisting in Zoro's grip light until the were face to face.

"Let's go back inside," Sanji requested with a half smile.

Zoro hummed in disappointment, "I was enjoying this quiet."

"There is time for quiet later, now is the time for party." For some reason that sounded like some kind of proverb, although if it was it was surely backward. Regardless, Sanji leaned forward and pressed their lips together shortly and then turned his head to go back inside but Zoro's grip was still upon him, holding him lightly in place.

"No so fast, alien scum, under intergalactic law I'm holding you under arrest for setting down upon this small dirt planet," Zoro said very seriously, pressing Sanji lightly against the railing. Sanji had the flashing image of himself tumbling over the side and into the water below but he trusted Zoro enough not to flip him into the dark waters beneath them.

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "Oh? I had no idea the the space police were now including ancient earth samurai in their ranks."

"We acquired the means to build a time vortex and hire mercenaries to do our bidding. We are many in number so you had better come along quietly."

"Oh dear, well, I would never last in space prison, they would tear me to pieces," he sighed dramatically then raised his eyes, "Tell me, mister space samurai, is there anything I can do to clear up this little... misunderstanding?" He inclined his head forward his expression indication he knew exactly what he could do.

And Zoro couldn't stand it, he burst into a fit of laughter. It was too much, that face. In his fit he had stepped back slightly allowing Sanji an escape. The blond slid away with a triumphant whoop, "Hahaha, you'll never take me alive!" he shouted as he ran to the door and slipped inside back to the party.

Zoro grinned after him for a moment then swiftly followed to hunt down the escaped alien like the bounty hunter he always knew he was at heart.

XxxX

Zoro's twenty sixth birthday came and went without incident and with much celebration. Another year of life, congratulations to him. But about a week afterward Sanji got a call that Zeff's health had taken a turn for the worst. It seemed very sudden but then Sanji hadn't been there to see Zeff's decline and that very much bothered him. Zeff had been taken into care by a hospital, something he very much disliked but he didn't cause so much of a fuss for the various doctors and nurses who went in and out. His body was giving out on him but the hospital staff were frantically trying to make him live.

After receiving this call Sanji was rightly upset. He took a leave of work and decided to stay down with him for a few days. The doctors said that he had at most a few months left to live, maybe more but probably less. Zoro drove up with him but was only going to stay the weekend, he had an overload of work to do with winter coming and it couldn't be done so far away. When he was explaining this to Sanji the swordsman had only repeated "Winter is coming" in a harsh northern accent over and over again until he was kicked over the couch. Maybe he deserved that.

The drive down was long and boring under the weight of the depressing thing they were headed toward. Zoro got the feeling that he was mostly there to force Sanji inside the building to see his adopted father. Even when Sanji wanted to go it took a good amount of effort to get him inside the hospital, he had to be lead by hand like a child and pulled along because he kept stopping but when they finally made it to the correct room they saw Zeff dozing in one of the beds.

He looked smaller somehow than he had the last time Sanji had seen him but he wasn't sure how. Zeff had always been a large and solid figure, a force to be reckoned with but now he looked almost vulnerable with his pale skin, lax expression, and the sack of something dripping into his IV. The sight made Sanji feel sick and he very much wanted to run from the room. Zoro blocked his path, he was sure he would be thankful of that later but now he only felt irritation. This place made his skin crawl and he wanted out. Fucking hospital, hospitals and spiders. They would be the death of him. If he ever saw a herd of spiders in a hospital he would probably drop dead right there.

Zeff's chest rose and fell with his even breathes, the doctor said that he would do a lot of sleeping and need a lot of blood transfusions. They were blasting him with chemo, trying to vanquish the cancer inside of him but the outlook wasn't good.

Zoro pushed Sanji down into one of the bedside chairs when it became obvious that he wasn't going to move for himself. They waited patiently for Zeff to wake up. After a time, he did stir and focus his eyes on his two visitors.

"Oh, guess I should have expected you at some point," Zeff grunted, he sat up ignoring Zoro and scrutinizing Sanji who sat back in his chair with his arms crossed, a ball of tension.

"Yes, you should have," Sanji replied sharply.

"Come to hound me for all my riches before I die, are you?" Zeff laughed.

Sanji didn't find it amusing. "You're not going to die," he said with force, like if he said it with enough determination then it would be true.

Zeff scoffed at that, "In the time you were gone did you learn how to see the future?"

"Yeah, I've got my fucking third eye open and I'm seeing you in the future, so don't go talking about your fucking death when you don't have to," Sanji glared at him.

"I'll talk about it as much as I like, brat, you don't have to listen but it won't stop the inevitable."

Sanji looked like he wanted to kick something. "How can you be so calm about this?"

"I'm an old man, what else is there really?"

"Lots of things," Sanji said in exasperation, "The Baratie could take off, I could get married, have kids. Isn't it every parent's dream for grandkids? You could win a million dollars, the earth could turn inside out, the Yellowstone super volcano could erupt, human kind could be overrun by aliens. I don't know, anything could happen!"

The old chef raised an eyebrow. "You say that assuming that I care about any of that."

Sanji scoffed, "You have to care on some level. You're not that much of a heartless bastard."

"Eh, when I'm dead I'll just watch it all from a window in heaven or some elegant bullshit like that. I expect you to have many grandkids, adopt as many as you can." He cast a look at Zoro as well. He was assuming that them adopting children in the future would be legal, because currently it was not. He was also assuming that their relationship would last. It seemed steady so far, it had certainly been the healthiest Sanji had ever hand and he did love Zoro so he hoped that they would go the distance.

Sanji let out a dry laugh, "You don't believe that rubbish and we both know it." It was true that Zeff had no real faith in any deities. Sanji had never been to any churches as a child and Zeff never made any mention if any higher life force. They were a different kind of alien. One that even Sanji was dubious of.

"Maybe not but then once I'm dead, I'm dead and nothing will matter anymore."

Sanji just glared at him with seething rage.

"There are worse ways to die," Zeff said lightly.

Sanji was not impressed. "And there are better ways too but they all end up the same. For good or bad there's no such thing as a dignified death."

"What do you know about death, little eggplant?"

"More than you might think." Sanji thought back to when he lay on a metal table, his insides stretched open to the stingingly cold air. He thought he would die right then, and there had been other times when he was give injections that he seemed to be on the edge of death but he was always brought back and it was terrifying every time. It was like hanging over the end of an endlessly dark pit by only one hand. Sanji had pulled himself back into the cliff side but others had not been so luck, Sanji had seen them taken out through the halls. Death was a terrifying blackness, cold and deep with no comfort. Despite everything that had happened he would never want to let himself fall into that darkness, there was too much uncertainty lurking there.

But that hadn't been real, had it? It had felt real but all delusions felt real, that's why they it was so hard to convince crazy people that they weren't real. He couldn't let them rule over him like this. Things that don't exist should frighten things that do. But try telling that to nearly every rationally irrational child to ever walk this earth.

Sanji realized that was shaking, he was clenching his arms tightly around his chest and his breathing was harsh. Zeff looked as concerned as he was capable of and Zoro was trying to shake him back into reality.

Sanji took a shuddering breath. "I'm fine," he managed, brushing Zoro's hands away. He felt suddenly very embarrassed and turned his head away.

"You can't stay here," Zeff determined after a long silence, "It's not good for you."

"Shut up, yes I can. I can't just leave, who will look after the Baratie while you're here?" The words 'when you're gone' had almost slipped from his mouth but he corrected them before he could make the mistake.

"Those idiots can manage on their own, I'm sure. There's no need for you to take over things."

"Bullshit, they'll never do as good a job as me and you know it!" Even Zeff had to admit that much.

He shook his head. "It doesn't matter, you aren't staying here and you aren't taking over the Baratie." The words were spoken with immovable determination.

"You can't stop me," Sanji said, his jaw set in determination.

"I've already told those imbeciles who work for me to get rid of you if they see you hanging around the restaurant and I'm not leaving the Baratie to you." There he went talking like a deadman again.

The words cut Sanji deeply. His throat burned in anger and for a moment he didn't have any words. When he found his voice it was tight with restrained emotion. "Why not?"

"Because you have your whole life ahead of you and I'm not going to dump something like this on you when you could be doing something better."

"You wouldn't be dumping it on me. I enjoy working there, I've been doing it for almost all of my life."

"And now it's time for you to move on. You're already halfway there." He had friends back with Zoro and he wouldn't want to leave they behind but he would because he felt he owed Zeff for taking him in as a dumb, damaged kid.

Sanji still would not accept it. "No."

"Yes, and there is nothing you can do about it. That is my final word on it and you'll hear the rest after I'm dead, I don't have to argue with you anymore." The two glared at each other but the matter was settled for now.

Sanji looked away and his eyes met Zoro's. Funny, he had nearly forgotten about the swordsman's presence while they were arguing he was so quiet. He looked uncomfortable, like he was out of place or wasn't really supposed to be there.

Sanji made a face at him, "Hey, marimo, stop being so quiet; it's weird."

"Yeah, don't be such a stranger, boy," chimed in Zeff, "You're having sex with my kid, so you're pretty much family now."

"I hope that's not the only qualification you have for determining who's family and who's not," Zoro said, an unpleasant expression on his face. He had a feeling that now that the full attention had been turned onto him he was in for a lot of teasing.

Sanji was making an embarrassed face, "Are we really going to do this?" he asked miserably.

"What?"

"This thing where you barite people into fear."

"If he can't take the heat he should find someone else to sleep with."

Ugh, why did he have to be so- so- fucking infuriating?

"Fat chance of that happening," Zoro smirked, "I will have sex with your son as much as I see fit."

They were both infuriating.

"Um, excuse me, but I'm pretty sure that you will only be having sex with me for as long as I see fit. Don't make me sound like some maiden you won in a bet or something. Can we change the subject, please?" he requested with a noticeable strain in his voice.

"I'm only being a good over protective father," Zeff said.

"Shut the fuck up, your just being an asshole because you can."

Zeff shrugged, "Same thing."

Sanji glared at him with much malice.

"What? It's not my fault that you decided to get together with this hooligan," Zeff said pointing to Zoro's scowling face.

"I'd apologize but I don't care and don't say the word hooligan, you sound like an old person."

"I am an old person."

"I mean a really old person." Really old people made him thing of turtles, he supposed that it wasn't such a strange thing seeing as turtles lived for so long. Sanji thought turtles were kind of cute, especially when they were eating food but he would never say something that that. It was against the man code to used the word 'cute' to describe anything other than a person's attractiveness.

Two headed turtles were especially adorable. He wished that he had a whole bucket full of baby turtles that he could dump into a pool and swim around with. But unfortunately, most abandoned swimming pools became infested with frogs and horrible little Mosquitos larva rather than adorable little turtles.

Speaking if mosquito like critters, Zoro had told Sanji stories about the mayflies on Kelleys island. Mayflies were a sort of fly that looked like a cross between a mosquito and a damsel fly. It was about the size of a quarter and it did not bite or sting. They just flew around and didn't do much of anything. They only lived for one day and in the summer they swarmed. At night if you had a bright light out they would swam around it, falling to the ground in literal moving matts mating and dying. You could see the babies crawling away from the masses. If they were on the sidewalk and you walked though them they made popping noises under food. In the morning the ground would be covered in dead mayflies and the next night the same thing would happen over again.

"Sanji," Zoro said drawing the blond back into the present. He hadn't realized he had been daydreaming.

"What?" he asked.

"You weren't paying attention."

"Keep the conversation lively and I won't have to distract myself."

They stayed not much longer, Zeff slipped back to sleep.

XxxX

A/N: Law would probably be an awful therapist which is why I gave him the job. I feel like he would use it as a chance to torment people.

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) : ) find your local NAMI today XD

All the banter puns.

As mature adults in a mature relationship I imagine there would be *cough* mature content somewhere in those months but that's not something I can handle. I will never be able to read or write that sort of thing. At least, I don't think I ever will.

You didn't think I'd forgotten about poor old Zeff, did you? Because I assure you that I did not. The life expectancy of someone with AML isn't great when you are on the older side like Zeff, which really sucks : ( I can never write Zeff right...

Thanks.


	19. Brick By Boring Brick

If it's not real  
You can't hold it in your hand  
You can't feel it with your heart  
And I won't believe it  
But if it's true  
You can see it with your eyes  
Oh, even in the dark  
And that's where I want to be, yeah

-"Brick By Boring Brick" Paramore

XxxX

Sanji and Zoro only stayed the weekend in a hotel because Sanji was banned from the Baratie. Zeff forbid them from coming back until his death was imminent. Sanji hated how confident the old man was that he was going to die. Things could happen, body chemistry could change.

When they returned home Sanji was very quiet.

"You know he only wants what's best for you," Zoro commented as he watched Sanji sulk. The blond glared at him.

"My father figure is dying, I'd like to sulk about it, if you please," the blond sighed back. He was flopped over the edge of the couch so that his head was hanging upside down and is face was getting red.

"That's not going to help anything, you know."

"I know, but I can't help it."

Zoro walked toward him and stopped just in front of his head. Sanji sat up quickly, the blood rushing to his head. Instead of getting up like he had planned on, he fell back against the pillows of the couch, glaring up at Zoro.

"I just want you to be ready for whatever happens," Zoro said quietly.

"I'll do my best," Sanji sighed, but he didn't that it would help that much. The future was hurtling forward way too fast for his taste.

XxxX

They got the call about three weeks later that Zeff was on his last legs, or leg, as it were. He had been sleeping more time than he spent awake and the pain was starting to get to him. He was put on morphine when it got very bad. The blood transfusions weren't doing him any good anymore and his body was shutting down. Zoro drove down with Sanji and they stayed in the same hotel as they did last time but he did not go to the hospital with him, there wasn't a place for him there; this was something between Sanji, Zeff, a few members of staff from the Baratie.

Sanji made himself go into that accursed hospital with sheer force of will. He felt sick to his stomach as he walked into the small, clean room where Zeff lay surrounded by the others. No one was talking, Zeff was asleep, they looked up as Sanji approach and he nodded in return.

Zeff had an ashen compaction and his skin appeared tight across the bones of his cheeks. He had been gradually losing interest in food as the weeks had moved by. Sanji thought that this must have been the worst part about all of this, other than the dying. Dying was the ultimate evil here but for someone like Zeff to be put off of food by his own body seemed so very cruel.

Moments passed, he wasn't sure how long, sitting in the chair he mad not reference for any frame of time, but it felt like a very long time. It was horrible just waiting there with all the horrible hospital sounds, finally Sanji could take no more.

"What are we even doing here?" he demanded, "It's like we're just waiting for him to die."

The men who he had grown up with looked to him aghast, although he felt it was more out of trained social reaction rather then genuine offense. He was sure that at least somewhere deep down they felt the same way. That had broken the tension from there they talked and laughed, telling anecdotes about something or another that Zeff had done. It made him sad that they were talking about him like this literally over his unconscious body but it was better than the silence

They spent all day in the hospital, Zeff was awake only once and he wasn't lucid enough to carry out any conversation thanks to the morphine but at one point he did fix Sanji with a smile that read pride and that was enough. Sanji had seen that look very few times from Zeff and every time it filled him with happiness, like for once he was doing something right. He half hoped that he wouldn't have to come in the next day and suffer through another agonizing day of waiting but he also didn't want him to be gone.

He couldn't sleep at all that night and expected the phone to go off at any moment but it did not. Zoro had stayed up with him for a while watching tv and tracing small, soothing circles into the soft skin of his stomach avoiding his now mostly healed scars. They looked clean and straight now but they had been itchy and painful while they were healing. He was just glad that he had been properly closed up, he didn't like his flesh being cut open.

Zoro eventually fell asleep and Sanji got up early the next morning to the hospital again. He didn't receive the dreaded call until moments before he was about to enter the building.

Zeff was dead. He had died in his sleep. Sanji was glad that he hadn't been there. Zeff had always been an overwhelmingly strong figure in his life and seeing him yesterday had been bad enough. Watching him die would be like watching a governing force in his life slip through his fingers. It was better to just have him be gone suddenly, it felt less real somehow. Sanji was there when they were wheeling him away. He looked like he was sleeping when he had first come into the room although he knew that the body was empty now. It was so strange how that knowledge changed how the scene looked to him. If he were asleep then feel not much about it but knowing that he was dead made it feel odd, he could feel the blood rushing in his ears. He didn't want to see that body anymore after that.

There were some other people there, they were crying but Sanji felt strangely calm, like he was seeing and hearing everything from far away and underwater. He looked at them and then at the body being wheeled away, he felt strangely out of his own body. Carne saw him and asked if he was okay. He only nodded mutely, there were things to be done now, preparations to be made. He wouldn't have to alert any family, Zeff had no family. He only had to do the legal work.

Numbly, Sanji tried to think of what would happen next. He would have to set a date for the funeral, tell people who needed to be told, the body would be embalmed for a viewing, then cremated... No need for a useless empty shell to be buried in the cold ground under shiny rock that would last much longer than knowledge of who he was.

Sanji did not stay after that, he left as soon as he was able to go.

The day was long, Sanji did not allow himself any time to sit down, he went to the Baratie and plowed through an astonishing amount of paperwork. The restaurant had been closed for the day and there was no one there to tell him to piss off. He hadn't eaten all day and he ignored all of Zoro's texts. He had to keep moving forward or he was afraid he might drown and he wasn't ready to crash yet.

It was late when Zoro showed up to drag him away back to the hotel. Apparently, he had been searching for him for awhile and someone had let slip that Zeff had died.

The marimo opened the door to the apartment above the Baratie to find Sanji surrounded by papers. "What the fuck are you doing?" he demanded, "I've been trying to call you all day."

Sanji had jumped at the sound of the door but in seeing that it was just Zoro he relaxed. "Sorry," he said as he continued to sort through the tower of papers. "I was doing stuff."

"What are you doing?"

"Stuff."

"Are you okay?" Zoro asked cautiously.

"Fine, I just need to be alone for a while." His tone had an edge that carried an unsaid get the fuck out.

"So you can sort papers?" Zoro asked doubtfully, this sounded like a classic case of avoiding the issue.

"Yes, so I can sort papers," Sanji replied sharply.

"Nope," Zoro decided, "I'm not going to let you bottle this shit up."

"I'm not bottling it up, I'm being productive."

"No, you're bottling it up because that's what you do."

"I am not."

"Then why don't we go back to the hotel and you can continue to not bottle shit up.

"Because I don't want to," Sanji said stubbornly.

"If you stay here you're only proving my point."

"You're just trying to get me to leave."

"Yes, I am. If you have any advice on how to do it more effectively I'm open to suggestion."

Sanji huffed and stood, placing the papers on a counter top. "Fine, let's go. What do I care?" He let Zoro take his hand and guide him down to the waiting car.

Zoro was talking to him on the ride back but he didn't hear the words, he was watching the snow fall on the roads. The second snow of the year. His stomachs must have growled because they stopped at a store and Zoro had gone in by himself. Sanji didn't want to eat anything, he knew that he was being silly but at this point anything could break this deadly calm and he wasn't sure he was prepared for that to happen.

Zoro returned with a carton of raspberry ice cream and a box of plastic spoons. Sanji almost smiled, this is why Zoro was the best.

When they were back in their hotel room Zoro put the ice cream into Sanji's hands and turned to him. "Are you going to be weird and quiet all night or are you going to start talking?" Zoro asked as he sat on the bed.

Sanji carefully set the carton in the little fridge by the tv and sat next to him on the cushion. Hotel beds where always softer than his real bed he wasn't sure he he just usually slept on hard bed or if hotel beds were extra fluffy. Whatever, that didn't matter right now, he was trying to avoid this conversation.

Sanji's hand had somehow found it's way to the back of his neck and he fidgeted under Zoro's watch. He took a breath. "Zeff is dead," he said plainly, what more was there to say? He could talk about his feelings but he didn't want to feel anything right now. But once the words left his mouth the significance hit him like he knew they eventually would. He felt his strength leaved him and he sagged against Zoro's shoulder. He didn't cry, at least not at first. He only sat there, a blank expression on his face, thinking about how he could never see the man again. How was it so different than when he was gone in another city? It should feel the same but it didn't, it felt tingly, and sickening, and painful.

His stomach growled and he made a pathetic motion toward the fridge, he shouldn't have put the ice cream away. Zoro retrieved the ice cream and handed him a spoon. Sanji lifted a spoonful to his mouth, it was cold and sweet as it should be. He clutched the carton and as he ate the tears finally began to fill his eyes, stinging as he tried blinking them away. They fell silently, rolling in warm paths down his face. He kept eating, although the creaminess threatened to choke him. He only stopped when he took a shuddering breath.

Zoro took the ice cream away from him, he wasn't hungry anymore. That's when the real waterworks had begun. Zoro just sat there and let him get it out of his system as he cried and mumbled incomprehensibly. Sanji for a moment felt like the world was falling apart.

XxxX

Organizing things after someone dies turned out to be a lot of work for one person but Sanji was determined to do it all singlehandedly. He set up everything and pushed himself to the brink of sanity. He went through the process numbly.

The viewing and funeral service was held for the select few who were invited, Zeff didn't have many friends but he had enough. Sanji didn't like viewings, he had only been to one as a child and he vividly remembered the scene he imagined playing out as he looked down at the dead body. He imagined that he was just sit straight up and grab Sanji by the shoulders. His eyes and mouth would open to reveal only black holes and then Sanji would be eaten. He didn't think he would ever shake that memory even though he knew that it couldn't happen, it still freaked him out.

He didn't cry while he was there, even when everyone was telling stories about him, he had already let out all of his tears, he didn't have anymore to shed. He didn't have a very good reaction to death anyway. When he heard that someone had died his first reaction was to tell really morbid jokes that were very much not appreciated. There had been one time in high school when another student had died and they held a moment of silence for him. As soon as that moment fell Sanji felt an overwhelming urge to start laughing. He felt like a horrible person after that and he was very glad he had restrained himself.

Sometimes he just didn't know what was wrong with himself.

After the funeral came the cremation, an even fewer number were there for that event. As soon as Sanji knew that Zeff was in the furnace he started playing the sad Star Wars music that was played at the cremation of Darth Vader. He felt that it was the only thing fitting for such an event.

Going to the reading of the will was even more trying. As he had said, Zeff had not left the Baratie to him. This fact still stung him very deeply but on some level he knew he should appreciate it as a kindness. Sanji was, however, left a rather large amount of money. An amount that he could put toward something big, like his own restaurant. He knew that this was the point that Zeff was trying to make but it seemed to hurt him even more but in a different way. Zeff had done so much for him, given him everything, and what had he done in return? Nothing. It left him with an empty feeling inside. Zeff was dead and he would never be able to repay his kindness, that didn't seem fair.

By mid December nearly everything was settled and Sanji was back in Sandusky for good after having gone back and forth for the last few weeks. Zoro was glad to have him back full time.

Christmas was fast approaching along with Chopper's birthday and the gang was rushing around for presents. Sanji had always had a big Christmas meal with the Baratie staff but never really calibrated the holiday of Christmas. It left him feeling slightly aching at the thought that Zeff could no long be a part of that tradition or any other tradition for that matter. But despite his internal conflicts Sanji pushed through the holiday with large smiles and cheer. He didn't need to be so glum he had a therapist he could unload his feelings onto.

XxxX

Sanji stood on the sidewalk outside of the Thousand Sunny. He had been passing by on his way to work and stopped to think. It was early January, sometime around a year ago he had Zoro had first met. He smiled at that memory, it was the best thing that could have happened to him at the time. If not for that he had no idea where he would be now. He lit a cigarette swiftly in the cold air and continued his walk down the road. Ah, the twists and turns of life.

Elsewhere, Zoro was at work on the construction of a nearly finished house. It was cold but the day was clear so they were working quickly. He was distractedly looking for his nail gun, the same one he had somehow managed to shoot himself before. He was distracted because he always seemed to be distracted these days. He was too concerned with Sanji's mental state; the rational and the irrational.

When he had first heard Sanji's account of what had transpired in that month he was gone he felt like his stomach had bottomed out. He must have experienced some sort of mental break because the things he said were most certainly not from a sane mind. And the death of Zeff had done the opposite of lifting his mood. It seemed that cosmic powers of the universe did not want Sanji to be happy.

Zoro huffed, there wasn't much he could do now but try to put back together the pieces, not that it would be easy. It annoyed him very much that he couldn't immediately make everything better but he did his best.

As Zoro trudged up a hill, toward his car, where he must have left his nail gun, he became aware of a very sharp rock in his shoe. At the top of the hill he stopped on the edge of the parking lot to remove his footwear and dislodge the irritating object.

As he slipped his foot out of his boot, the soul slid out along with it. That had been happening a lot lately and it was incredibly irritating. Instead of slipping the soul back into place as he usually did, he pulled it out and shook out the boot. The little rock tumbled out along with a folded piece of paper.

The green haired man raised an eyebrow at the piece of paper. When the fuck did that get in there? He unfolded the paper quickly, curious to see it's inner secrets and decide why it was in his shoe.

There were a series of dates and a lot of information written on the paper but the latest date was marked for the day before Sanji's sudden return from wherever he had been taken and was written in his own blocky handwriting. The note detailed the circumstances of Sanji's kidnapping and an overview of the plan to get him back. He stared at the letter for a long time. This confirmed Sanji's story and he didn't remember writing it, maybe Sanji wasn't crazy after all. His rational mind told him that he was being ridiculous but the evidence was staring him directly in the face. If Sanji was right then that really sucked for a lot or reasons. If it was in fact true then he had made Sanji visit a therapist who was making him believe lies when the truth was infinitely more strange. The note did after all read: if you're reading this and you've forgotten what happened than they must have gotten to you and you better fucking believe this because Sanji has gone through too much shit for it all to be forgotten.

He could only imagine was it was like to remember things one way but having that be completely different than how everyone else remembered it. The question now was: what should he do now?

He folded the note back up and stuffed it back into his shoe. He retrieved his nail gun and got back to work. He had a lot to think about now, he was seeing everything with a very strange light now. He was already starting to feel paranoid.

Zoro rushed through the rest of his day in a feverish haze, the new information he had burned in his mind. He rushed home, as he stepped into his apartment the place felt alien and dangerous. He had no didn't know if they could still be tracking him or not, if all of this was true.

He listened intently as he stepped through the doorway. He heard no buzz or click that might suggest a motion camera. He did not turn on the lights and looked around in search of any strange lights given off from tiny points but saw none. He turned on his phone flashlight and shone it into all the mirrors he owned to make sure none of them were one sided. None were. Last of all he brought out his little crank radio and wound it up to play some shitty station, checking for any strange interference. There was none he could detect. None of these methods were perfect but they made him feel more confident in his actions. It was safe to assume his phone was being monitored but then so was every other American phone along with selective others. His was probably just being paid attention to.

When Sanji arrived home he was immediately enveloped into a warm hug. He was slightly startled because Zoro was never an overly touchy person but he did not complain, physical contact was always nice with him.

Zoro leaned close to his ear, "Let's go out," he suggested, leaning their heads together.

Sanji raised an eyebrow, "Where would we be going?"

"Just out on a drive." He had pulled back and something flashed behind his eyes, something that seemed a little off. Sanji wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing so he cautiously nodded his head in approval.

"Alright, if you aren't going to tell me then I guess you'll be driving."

Zoro grinned at him and grabbed the keys leading them outside.

They were driving for a long time. As time went on Sanji grew more and more confused about where they were actually going. They were driving out of town, that was for sure but to where he had no idea.

"Hey, marimo, were the hell are you taking us?"

"Just wait and you'll find out."

"I've been waiting like twenty minutes and you're still driving. You aren't lost are you?"

"No, I know exactly where I'm going."

Eventually they rolled to a stop along the side of the road in the middle of bum fuck nowhere.

There was a pause as Zoro stopped the car.

"This isn't the part where you murder me and leave my body in one of these fields, is it?" Sanji asked mostly kidding but there was the tiny part of him that could believe it. Zoro did not respond to his question, making him even more nervous, all he did was tell him to leave his cell phone in the car when he left and get out of the car with a slam of the door.

"Yep, he's defiantly going to murder me," Sanji mumbled darkly but he followed none the less not far behind. "Hey, were the fuck are we!" He shouted as he caught up.

Zoro just shook his head and gestured for him to follow.

"Oh, come on, I'm supposed to be the weird cryptic one here, not you!" But he followed regardless of how unnerved he was. The walked to the end of the road that happened to turn off into a small and very old looking cemetery. Once they were inside Zoro sat on one of the short gravestones, looking with a scrutinizing gaze.

"What?" Sanji asked.

"I want to show you something," he said, still being very cryptic.

"Could you have picked a less creepy place to do it?" Sanji glanced nervously around the graveyard. It was dark and the moon cast strange shadows along the flat stretch of land. It didn't help that Zoro was sitting on one of the gravestones. Sanji was pretty sure that was somehow disrespectful but he wasn't quite sure how.

"It was the first place that popped into my mind." Zoro shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.

"Do you visit this creepy place often?"

"Nah, I just passed it one time and I happened to remember where it was."

"Wow, so I guess there really is a first time for everything."

"Shut up, it's serious time now."

"Okay, fine, so what was it you wanted to show me? If it is your dick I swear I will kick you over the fucking moon."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I drove all the way out to the middle of fucking nowhere just to show you my dick, now shut up."

Sanji huffed but fell silent. He watched as Zoro began to remove his shoe, a move that left him very confused. The green haired man soon drew out a scrap of paper and unfolded it.

"I found this in my shoe," Zoro said, smoothing out the wrinkled paper.

Sanji scrunched up his nose, "What was it doing in there?"

"I think I put it there," he said uncertainty.

Sanji raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, you think?"

"I mean, I don't remember putting it there but it's written in my handwriting so I must have written it."

"What does it say?"

"See for yourself." He handed over the paper, which Sanji handled with care, squinting at the words in the darkness. He could only just make out it's message. His eyes widened as he stared at the neat, blocky letters. His stomach dropped. He didn't know how to feel about this. This note confirmed his original story and provided more detail than even he had been aware of. This note was dangerous.

"Are you fucking with me?" Sanji asked as he gaped at the paper. He had to be sure, the world could be so cruel sometimes.

"I drove all the way out here so there would be no chance of being heard or seen, do you really thing I would come all the way out here just to fuck with you? I'm way too lazy for that."

"Can you just give me a straight answer?"

"No, I'm not fucking with you."

Sanji sucked in a breath, "Does this mean you believe me about the abduction stuff?"

"Well, I have to don't I? The evidence is staring me in the face."

"Doesn't mean you can't still deny it." Sanji was having trouble wrapping his mind around this.

"But I won't, as crazy as it may be I think you need someone on your side for this and apparently I knew what I was getting myself into the first time, let's make the second time easier." He grinned.

Sanji nearly smiled as well but then an idea struck him. "What if I'm just imagining this?" he asked worriedly. He couldn't trust his eyes or any of his other senses. He was delusional after all.

Zoro's mind scrambled for a way to prove this event's reality. "I can only assure you that I am real and that this is really happening," he said perplexed.

Sanji thought for a moment, he dared not let hope rise in his chest. All of this could be fiction and he had no way of telling. He wasn't sure he he wanted this to be real or not. On one hand he would very much like to not be crazy but on the other this whole situation was overwhelming and things would en much easier if it were not true.

"Okay," said Sanji thoughtfully, "I have a plan to prove that it's real. Tomorrow at ten-o-clock we will meet somewhere else preferably not so far away. There you will have a piece of paper with a drawing of a man with a mustache on it. I will ask what it is and you will tell me that it's the great lord Cthulhu and then you with write the word 'true' on the top of the page. Got that?" It was complicated enough that it could not be duplicated by chance and he would have the evidence so long as he didn't throw it away. Maybe he was being overly cautious but he wanted to be completely positive that this was real. He didn't want to have his heart crushed again.

"The fuck?" Zoro made a face. "Could you run through that one more time?"

Sanji did and then they set up a place to meet. It was still in the middle of nowhere but much closer and less creepy. They did not linger long after that, they walked swiftly out of the graveyard and back to the car where they chatted lightly on the way home.

XxxX

The next day was hell. Sanji spent all day agonizing over the time as it seemed to pass more and more slowly. He nearly ran out to his car when it was time for him to leave work for the day. He drove quickly to the designated spot and stopped his car beside Zoro's. They were in a different area of farmland and there was thankfully no graveyard. The two men got out of the car, not saying a word, and walked to the end of the road.

When they stopped Sanji turned to Zoro expectantly. There was a pause then Zoro pulled out a piece of paper and began to draw, there was no flat surface available so he had to use Sanji's back. He preformed the routine perfectly and when he was done Sanji was overwhelmed with gratitude, he had so much he didn't know what to do with it all. So he just let it smolder in his chest as he pressed on in his questioning. "So what will we do now?" Beneath the gratitude was a feeling of sickness and fear. He now knew that it wasn't all in his head, he had an ally but what to do with that power?

Zoro paused thoughtfully, then grimaced. "What can we do? This is obviously over our heads." He was right. They had no clearance to go into high security facilities, the controversy over the video was dying down, their one contact had used them and then disappeared, and it was only the two of them who knew. What could they possibly do? They were two nobodies in the face of something much, much bigger than themselves.

This idea seemed to weight heavily upon both of them, they could both feel it hanging in the air like the stench of some horrible, dead animal. Sanji's good spirits were suddenly squished down and the hope that had flared was now nearly gone, replaced by emptiness. There was truly nothing they could do. So, the two of them stood close together on the edge of a field in the middle of nowhere and abruptly the world seemed like a bigger and scarier place. It was as if the sky could swallow them up because they were just so small. Sanji's eyes had been trained to Zoro but they now looked to the skies as if he were searching for answers there. As if some shard of evidence would fall from the darkness. Some sort of technology from an alien race that may or may not exist.

But there were no answers to be found, no easy resolution or remedy to their situation, and the world was a very cold place.

THE END

XxxX

A/N: Hi, guys. So this is the end technically because I hate endings so I kind of suck at them.

I had to read a lot of depressing stuff to give you this. It almost made me feel something inside, almost. I'm sure it's not 100 percent accurate medically but I tried my best.

I think Zoro would have clear, blocky handwriting and Sanji would have scribbly, hard to read writing. But that's just me.

Thanks.


	20. Robin In The Rain

Robin in the rain,  
What a saucy fellow.  
Robin in the rain,  
Mind your socks of yellow.

-"Robin In The Rain" Raffi

XxxX

Robin glanced over at the ticking clock on the wall. They were late. Of course they were, she shouldn't have expected any different, really. Not from a bunch of old men like them. But she must remain patient and political with them, they were after all, very important people. It wasn't the first time she had met them. She had met all except one on some occasion or another but never altogether like this.

It had been five years since she had incited the video scandal and she had gotten off with a commendation rather than time in prison or worse. No one suspected a thing. It was, however, unfortunate that officer Flam had not gone to the media to claim responsibility for the video, that might have saved him, at least for a while. As it was, he had been taken quietly into custody and disposed of accordingly. He was dead now. That's what happens when you are good and honest, the world isn't fair and only those who lack heart can survive in an environment such as this one. Robin lacked heart, she sometimes doubted that she even had a physical heart, although she could still sometimes feel it beating in her chest. She did not feel bad for causing the death of an innocent person, it had not been the first time and it would not be the last if she continued as she planned.

These men she was going to see would get her where she needed to go. She had been doing their dirty work for a long time but had only started working directly under them four and a half years ago. She was a spy, she fixed leaks and she righted things that were wrong. She was not yet totally trusted but no one truly was in this line of work. However, she would become a very loyal soldier in time, if she played her cards right.

She enjoyed her job well enough but she hated these men she worked for. They were very... traditional in their ways and she had to do above and beyond to qualify for her current job. They would never let her in on all of their secrets, she knew, no one would ever know the whole truth but them. Right now she was just gathering information, preparing to unleash the storm upon them as soon as she had the chance. The sooner the better.

But what then? What could she do after she released all of that information? She would either be killed or hunted down, that was no way to live. She had nothing to fall back on, her job was her life. She had no family or fiends who could help her. She did not know what it was like to feel attached to someone. People were disposable, everyone could be replaced.

Her mind wandered back to the scandal five years ago. She had stopped caring about what had happened to those people she had dealt with. Their heavy surveillance had been terminated years ago after the memories had been wiped.

She had been able to grant one kindness, or curse depending on how you looked at it. She had confused the orders given so that the blond's memories would not be erased. It wouldn't matter either way, no one would ever believe him. She doubted he even believed himself after all his secessions with the devious doctor Law. The man worked wonders in the field although he would much rather be back at his old job of cutting people like blondie open. Although, he was also very good at his new job of handling and analyzing samples, whatever those samples may be of.

The conference room door swung open as five rather old men walked in, serious looks on all of their worn faces.

"Ah, Mrs. Nico," one man said, his eyes glancing up her body before meeting her eyes. Very traditional they were.

"You called for me?" she asked with a smile.

"Yes, a very important even is upon us and we will be leaving this position for a time," the man said very carefully.

She knew better than to ask what event that was, they would never tell, she would have to find out for herself. "And why am I here?" she asked politely.

"You are here to take control for a time."

Robin struggled to keep her face blank. This wasn't right, they should be choosing some higher in the chain of command than her. She had to put in far to much effort to get this job, why would they give her this one so easily? They were up to something. "Why am I being put in charge when you could pick someone who is my superior?"

The man grinned, "Those spiders aren't quite as good at what they do as you are. We are confident that you are the perfect choice for this. Do you accept?"

"Do I get do ask what I will be doing in this new position?"

"You do not, either accept or decline and we will find someone to replace you."

Robin sighed internally, of course. "Very well, I accept."

"Excellent," the man said, he took her by the arm and led her into a back office, leaving the others behind. He stopped behind a locked series of filing cabinets. "These are highly classified documents you will be needing to do our job."

"How long will I be doing this job?" she asked.

"That is yet to be determined, but we are confident that you can handle it," he smiled like a hyena; malignant and deadly. Robin allowed herself a small smile in return.

The man left her in the room to read through the documents and she was to start as soon as she had them all read. That took a shockingly short amount of time because they were all so interesting. So many, many secrets.

Robin decided that she would do her job well for a year than then she would let everything spill out, or she would wait until they tried to get her out again. She was very aware that the man who had previously had this job had left mysteriously with the others and she knew that this couldn't be good but she didn't see anything dangerous in the files so maybe it was unrelated to the job, however unlikely that seemed.

This was her thought process until a week later when a sudden epidemic broke out among not just the people of the United States but all around the world. They would become sick and then they would die. The disease would spread from one person to another and doctors all over had no idea how this pathogen worked let alone how to stop it.

Sensing something was wrong Robin did some heavy digging and found that there was an operation Honeycomb they had been conveniently left out of her documents. It detailed a plan to release a deadly virus by the spread of bees. The symptoms were: violent coughing leading to bleeding, peeling skin, high fever, and death by three days.

That was when Robin decided, fuck it, and released a butt ton of classified documents. She didn't care when they came to arrest her, she had caused a panic but that wouldn't matter for long, they were all doomed anyway. At least now they knew what was going on. When earth was for the most part rid of it's sentient life forms the invasion would take place, killing those who were immune to the virus.

Even as she was lead away Robin smiled, she had accomplished her mission and victory was sweet in contrast to the bloody taste in her mouth; her skin was already starting to peel. Human kind was coming to an end and at this point nothing really mattered anymore.

The End.

XxxX

A/N: I love writing Robin, she's so calculating and political. I guess this was kind of an epilogue, oh well.

Sorry, Franky, treason is punishable by death : /

It's been a pleasure writing for all of you : ) this story is sort of, kind of, vaguely based on like every alien abduction story ever with heavy influence by the X-Files. Best show ever, until the later seasons. This was written between the months of January and February of 2015. My goal was 100k words and I met my goal.

To me of the future: I hope you keep up with the updates. I also how that things work out, I don't know how you're feeling right now but I'm feeling nervous and panicky.

To past me: Sorta dropped the ball on updates in the last month but we did pretty good. Poor soul, you know nothing of anxiety but we're still here so that's something :-)

The truth is out there

Live long and prosper.


End file.
